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RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 8:31:08 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Why not beat a horse that was both already dead and has been beaten again thoroughly...

Here is another possibility to consider:

Perhaps DomCpl.. you just do not offer enough for these women to want to contact you beyond this restricted , and in some ways, protected medium?

Perhaps, after having a few chit chats, you did not pick up the vibe that they were not interested in you, and have no real interest beyond that occasional chit chat?

When I was open to a relationship, let me assure you that if I were intrigued or interested in a person, I would quite eagerly move to the next level with them when the occasion presented itself.  The fact that these vast numbers of women are not wanting to do so with you says more about you than I think you are willing to digest.

It always amuses me when people regress to... 'everyone else is wrong and shitty and I am right, so now I will persecute them, for their transgressions!'  It certainly does not demonstrate that you are a person who might understand the subtlety of nuance, let alone take hints, blatant or otherwise, at all well, or that you are a person (or persons) capable of careful reflection and able to  utilize constructive criticism as a  very important tool rather than some sort of  paranoid interpretation of a personal attack.

I realize this may come as a blow to your dually domly sensibles, but... you may not be as wildly appealing as you have estimated. 

Also, no person, Dom, sub or otherwise, owes another person they are not in a relationship with anything at all, not even courtesy.  It is always much more civil to at least offer courtesy, but you as a stranger off the internet.... please... you are not entitled to anything from anyone else off this medium unless they choose to offer it to you, willingly, be they submissive, or slave, or whatever other identifier they select for themselves.


Stop thinking that just because you are not getting the responses you desire or think you are entitled to, that it is everyone else's fault and not your own .  Size up the very real possibility that, for whatever reason, these women did not WANT to contact you in a more intimate manner, and that perhaps, you need to better understand why that is to get the results you want, rather than pissing and moaning about how they are 'less that real' as they did not want to further a correspondence with you.

(... this is all rather Dr.Phil of me, no? hehe)

< Message edited by puella -- 2/3/2007 8:33:06 AM >

(in reply to DomCpl4RTslave)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 8:48:58 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Just an aside becasue I am not going to take the time to read everything here.  If you are thoroughly convinced that no one is real and everyone is fake, then why bother posting about it and continueing a search where everyone is a disappointment?
Posting here reaches the ones who are real, since the fakes dont tend to get involved enough in the forums to be bothered. Its the same thought I have often.  If you are getting no where, and everyone you talk to is fake, then why arent you spedning the time lookin somewhere else, ratehr than complaining to us about it?  We all KNOW there are a lot offakes and wannabes.  weve all run into our fair share.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 9:20:57 AM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I am not new to the site, but haven't posted on the message boards (though I stalk them enough), but here goes:

Fakes and Wannabe posts usually are an everyday occurance.  Because this is a public message board, they can post those messages, and people can respond to them in any fashion they like.  Some people can handle the snarkiness, some can't.  I personally find it hella amusing, but that's just my personality.

I'm not sure if this is going to go over well, or bite me in the backside, but I'm sure that I have been called a fake before by some people based on my reactions, but those reactions happened for a reason.  When someone makes me uncomfortable in an e-mail, or keeps asking me for my yahoo when I explicitly state I don't use it, or even requests my phone number or dirty pictures via e-mail, if they don't respond to my subtle "no's" and the forthcoming not so subtle "no's", then I stop contact with them.  Usually, I try to send an e-mail explaining, but some times, I am made to feel so uncomfortable and so disgusted that I can't bring myself to contact them. I'm single, young and vulnerable since I am not protected by anyone, not parents, not friends or even a Dominant which I can call my own.  That means I am wary, and my safety comes first.  I react instinctually.  If I don't feel comfortable giving out my phone number, or sending pictures, then I won't.  My thought processis that my safety comes first...always.

Does this make me a fake or a wannabe? I truly do not believe so.  I am in this for the long haul, and I want tot ake my time and find the right person for me.  In my experience, people do not take well to the knowledge that they are not the one, and that is where the name-calling comes in.  True, there are people who are fake, and just in it for sex, but they are not the only ones who are affected by these names. 

It hurts me everytime someone calls me fake, because I know in my heart that I'm not...that person just isn't the one I am looking for, and some people can't handle that.  I apologize if this has already been said before, or beaten into the ground like poor Trigger, but I just thought I would add my input.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 9:38:26 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I agree Puella, your post echoes my sigline. The one thing that all of our human interactions have in common is us, if we do not like the way those are going, well we are the only ones that can change them. It is called personal responsibility for the reality that we experience. No one can impact our reality unless we allow them to, no one can affect our mood unless we allow them to. And no one can disappoint us unless we allow them to.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 9:53:18 AM   
mymasterssub69


Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		sad to say your immature observations are incorrect and wish posters like you would cease generalizing and grouping subs/slaves into one group as fakes, wannabes etc etc  if you don't like the selection - please do everyone a favor and leave ...look somewhere else on another alternative adult site. 

you cannot assume without knowing the circumstances of why ALL female subs/slaves would turn you down. perhaps, they aren't interested in a couple type of relationship, bi, relocating, or whatever their reasoning might be. next poll the entire sub/slave population before posting dribble like this.

rant over


_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 9:55:23 AM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Nicely, albeit abruptly said.  

_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to mymasterssub69)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 11:06:07 AM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		trappedinamusuem... I wouldn't worry if somebody calls you a fake or not... you are doing what's right to you and for your own life... you can not be everything to everyone, and not everyone who contacts you on here is the right person for you... I spent a lot of time going through emails like you did and responding to everyone like you, the very best as I could, let them know if they were not for me, so on and so forth. I did the best I could to treat everyone with respect just as I would want to be treated. In the end, I found a great Master here, so, it did pay off.

I'm sure that I got labeled a "fake" because somebody's email rubbed me the wrong way or gave me a bad feeling, and I would tell them they weren't for me, or perhaps if I was so creeped out, wouldn't bother to answer.  Well, I say so be it... let them think I'm a fake or whatever they would like, then, I become just simply a figment of their imagination and they leave me alone... and I can go on enjoying breathing, living my life, their opinion of me, is of no consequence to my life.

I remember reading a quote (I think from Eleanor Roosevelt) that went something like this (paraphrasing, I don't remember it exactly): If we only knew how little others thought of us, we would spend little time worrying about what they thought.

_____________________________

"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt


MySpace

(in reply to trappedinamuseum)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 11:53:44 AM   
TrueCalling


Posts: 97
Joined: 1/28/2005
Status: offline 		'L', perhaps you can hire yourself out as a professional 'Fake Finder'....It certainly didn't take you long to become an expert! First things first though, your nose seems to be out of joint, you might want to rectify that rapidamente before you start reeking of yourself...

colleen

(in reply to sensualmagirl)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 11:57:41 AM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		huh? was that in reply to something I said? I didn't mean to offend anyone, was trying to make the other person feel better and not think she's a fake... maybe my point didn't come across well...

or that was a post to someone else? 

Sorry if I offended, my intent was to say that it doesn't matter if somebody calls you a fake, do what is best for you and your life.

_____________________________

"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt


MySpace

(in reply to TrueCalling)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 12:00:04 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

puella

Why not beat a horse that was both already dead and has been beaten again thoroughly...



She's blue!...I smell fake!

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers and people who spontaneously change colors

(in reply to TrueCalling)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 12:00:53 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		ITS just like any thing else or place in this world many aren't what they claim to be...I hate the words real and true but perhaps will use it here." there are real  and true fakes where ever we tread" smiles bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to sensualmagirl)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 12:03:39 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomCpl4RTslave

First of all I find most not to be real. How can a sub/slave meet someone that they can't even call to see if they are for real..amusing...How can they say they are willing to relocate when they will not even come to spend a few days in a home to see if it is where they want to be...amusing
Then there are the subs/slaves who say they are overwhelmed with emails.
Do these women ever check out the profiles of the Doms/Dommes or couples that fit thier criteria?
inquiring minds want to know
Mistress L


Out of morbid curiosity... your profile says you have a nice brownstone which you operate as a dungeon, I assume. Now in my limited thinking capacity I kind of think there are a number of people on here from Jersey. How many of them know you? If you are in or around the Jersey area and know these folks post it here or Here

I'm not really trying to nail you to the cross... Mmm what a rush... just curious about how many people know you.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to DomCpl4RTslave)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 12:06:10 PM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for the kind words.

_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to sensualmagirl)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 12:11:47 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

She's blue!...I smell fake!



Shhhh,,, you will incur her wrath and she will unleash the alien hordes upon us.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 4:42:26 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

'L', perhaps you can hire yourself out as a professional 'Fake Finder'....It certainly didn't take you long to become an expert!


First... that's my job. I see you are off to a flying start in your posting career.

quote:

Perhaps DomCpl.. you just do not offer enough for these women to want to contact you beyond this restricted , and in some ways, protected medium? snip Size up the very real possibility that, for whatever reason, these women did not WANT to contact you in a more intimate manner, and that perhaps, you need to better understand why that is to get the results you want, rather than pissing and moaning about how they are 'less that real' as they did not want to further a correspondence with you.


Perhaps it "selective reading" again... but....

quote:

How can a sub/slave meet someone that they can't even call to see if they are for real..amusing...How can they say they are willing to relocate when they will not even come to spend a few days in a home to see if it is where they want to be...amusing 


Ok... so maybe these females she is talking about DON'T feel comfortable enough to contact her beyond this "restricted, and in some ways, protected medium"... they would just prefer to go on and on about how they just want to MOVE THERE instead!!
 
In fact, I don't see anyplace where she said she had problems contacting and being contacted!! Is there really someone here that is gonna step up and say that she is ODD for wondering how realistic that is?  Read all of people... geeeze!!!
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to TrueCalling)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 5:05:42 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Oh... there is no protection....

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 5:18:47 PM   
HatesParisHilton


Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		Enron was fake, as with a lot of other white collar socipathic crap.  The fantasy of "oh, they have a big office and nice suits, they MUST be trustworthy" is about equal to "wow, someone signed onto a site, they MUST be for real".

Do these stop investing?  NO.  Do these stop real sub women from being logged on? No again.

the only two words you need for the net are not "Caveat Emptor", they are "Caveat LECTOR".

Let the Reader Beware.

But also, let the reader learn.

There is another thread that dovetails on this topic, about people that do not post.  mix that with someone whom deos not have any significant info on their profile, and that tells me (and others) that basically they cannot be bothered.  You see what someone is really like from their posts, not their profile.  posts are a DIALOGUE.  The moment you are erotically engaged with someone in any way rather than by yourself in a room, you are in DIALOGUE with that person even if neither of you SAY a WORD, because you can speak memtically rathert than verbally/orally and more than half the communication between homo sapiens is MEMETIC, as proven by our communicating and mating BEFORE we had spoken words, but we did have MEMETIC phrases/signatures, we just waited for spoken language to catch up.

So basically, cut down the deadwood, look at people that bother to POST.  I've had happy eros with more than 8 people on the net.

6 of them posted, only one did not.  The ones whom posted were "the best ones".   That math was simple.  "Fakers" generally won't put in the time to make more than 10 posts that would inspire you to believe they are genuine.  And if people go after people that post more than people whom don't, the fakers will see a dry shallow salted field in which they can grow no "con job weeds" in your "happy erotic garden".  That goes for both genders no mater whom/what they are looking for.

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 7:17:26 PM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton


So basically, cut down the deadwood, look at people that bother to POST.  I've had happy eros with more than 8 people on the net.


If they only bothered to look at people who post they would have missed me.
 
I became active on these boards at my owners behest.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 7:20:53 PM   
MasterDelvin


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Austin, Texas
Status: offline 		DomCpl, betcha don't post another like this anytime soon :)
 
Welcome to an open forum. It can be brutal if not outright hateful.
 
The one thing we need in this lifestyle more than anything is tollerance. Patience helps a great deal as well, but tollerance overall to accept the fact that this lifestyle is extremely diverse with no real one right way or wrong way to do anything.
 
I would suggest taking a few deep breaths, smile in the mirror and then continue contacting people that interest you. It is extremely rare to find that special slave in just a short email.
 
Master D

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: JUST AN OBSERVATION AND OPINION ABOUT THE subs/slav... - 2/3/2007 7:51:15 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton

So basically, cut down the deadwood, look at people that bother to POST.  I've had happy eros with more than 8 people on the net.

6 of them posted, only one did not.  The ones whom posted were "the best ones".   That math was simple.  "Fakers" generally won't put in the time to make more than 10 posts that would inspire you to believe they are genuine.  And if people go after people that post more than people whom don't, the fakers will see a dry shallow salted field in which they can grow no "con job weeds" in your "happy erotic garden".  That goes for both genders no mater whom/what they are looking for.


The fact is to concentrate on people who post on a message board would probably make the smallest pool of people that one could possibly define in a search outside of people who live too far from a major city. Sounds noble when writing something like that, but realistically not wise when you truly break down the numbers.

The fact is sincere people are online for some reason. Some do not live near areas that have an active local community. Some do not like their local communities for any number of good reasons. Some do not function well in local communities and so on and so on. It is easy to cast simple solutions like this or stick to your local community but for many online is their best way.

Using the broadest definition of “fake” which is almost always the case in these threads, fakes are everywhere. There are plenty of people active in the local community who look real and sincere in their words but once they leave an event do not practice what they preach. There are probably some people on this very board that do the same thing or have lived more in theory then real time. What do all these people and the truly “real” have in common? A stranger or maybe even an acquaintance would really not have any idea if they were “fake” or “real” and not anyone of us appreciate our integrity being questioned and certainly not by a stranger.

So when throwing around the term “fake” remember there are probably people using that term on you as well. Every woman on this site has been accused of it multiple times, if not daily. Everyone faces dishonesty and the negativity and frustration of dealing with that dishonesty and all things it caused. You can either learn from it and stay positive or you can choose to be negative and vent your frustration in the wrong place. One will help in the long run, one will hurt in the long run but everyone makes this decision a lot in their lives.




< Message edited by toservez -- 2/3/2007 7:54:32 PM >

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 80
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