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Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 6:49:00 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		If like...a guy...hangs up...after he cums...I mean like...literally 5 seconds after he cums, he hangs up...every time...is that normal? Am I being used? We do it every night...and I like him a lot...I just...I dont know if he really cares about me at all...or if he's just using me to get off...normally he does all the talking and stuff...but now he's making me repeat dirty things and I really don't want to but I want him to like me so I have to...he said he wont talk to me anymore if I don't...does it sound like he's using me?
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 6:51:08 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Having sex with someone so they "like you" is something you are supposed to get over in HS.  Think of it as lovemaking, if a guy came over, came and left, what would you think?

(in reply to dollparts85)
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 6:54:37 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		I do not get why you keep getting him off with that kind of finish.

CP

(in reply to dollparts85)
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 6:58:27 PM   
DCWoody


Posts: 1401
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, it does.


quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

If like...a guy...hangs up...after he cums...I mean like...literally 5 seconds after he cums, he hangs up...every time...is that normal? Am I being used? We do it every night...and I like him a lot...I just...I dont know if he really cares about me at all...or if he's just using me to get off...normally he does all the talking and stuff...but now he's making me repeat dirty things and I really don't want to but I want him to like me so I have to...he said he wont talk to me anymore if I don't...does it sound like he's using me?

(in reply to dollparts85)
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:00:11 PM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		It certainly does sound that way to me.

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(in reply to DCWoody)
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:00:35 PM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		Yes, I think so.. speaking from someone who at your age was used in real life.

have you ever met them? Would you want this to happen in RL? Unless you've met this person face-to-face (and I would imagine you haven't given they hang up on you and hold the relationship over your head as a threat), I don't think this person is going to be there for you in the end.  They are going to be the exact same person in bed that they are on the phone -- my opinion

You are young, follow your gut... and it's already telling you that they are using you, or otherwise, you wouldn't have asked.

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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:01:20 PM   
kindaeasy69


Posts: 104
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		I'm going to have to go with, yes.

(in reply to dollparts85)
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:01:44 PM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

If like...a guy...hangs up...after he cums...I mean like...literally 5 seconds after he cums, he hangs up...every time...is that normal? Am I being used? We do it every night...and I like him a lot...I just...I dont know if he really cares about me at all...or if he's just using me to get off...normally he does all the talking and stuff...but now he's making me repeat dirty things and I really don't want to but I want him to like me so I have to...he said he wont talk to me anymore if I don't...does it sound like he's using me?


If he hangs up so that he can clean himself up, that is I am sure understandable.  However, he should call you back after he is cleaned up.  If he doesn't, thats a pretty sure sign that he is using you. 

Is it safe to say he is masquerading as a DOMINANT since you identify as a submissive?  A responsible DOMINANT will take your limits into consideration and will work with you to get past them. 

You are young and obviously very impressionable.  If you are having a problem discerning whether someone is using you are not, you should probably put your activity on hold until you get a little more knowledge and understanding of the person you are engaging with.  If he is unwilling to work with you, then your question is answered.

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(in reply to dollparts85)
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:02:20 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		After reading your question it seems very obvious to me that he's using you for fun.  If he cared about you ... he'd be reciprocal and wouldn't hang up right after.  But why go through thr trouble of milking the cow when you can get it for free ... just my penny of a thought.  And ... um ... doing it so he'll *like you* is the most rediculous thing I have heard.  It's not going to make him like you or appreciate you ... he'll just play off your feelings and use you (speaking from past experiences) .... but I could be wrong, it's only my opinion.

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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:07:30 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		he's not a Dom...at least he wasn't before he met me...he's sort of getting into it now that he met me...more into just age play though...not really the Dom part...

(in reply to BabyNyla)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:08:10 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		When I have phonesex with some charming lass, I make damn sure they couldn't cum much more before I let myself go.  Yes, for the record there have been recent months where that was my ONLY sexual contact so lets not go ragging on phonesex in general!  Hanging up after you cum is worse than rolling over and falling asleep!

(in reply to BabyNyla)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:10:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, you're being used.  Decide if that's what you want or not.

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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:44:25 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

If like...a guy...hangs up...after he cums...I mean like...literally 5 seconds after he cums, he hangs up...every time...is that normal?

Normal for who?

quote:

Am I being used?[/quote
Yes.

quote:

We do it every night...and I like him a lot...I just...I dont know if he really cares about me at all...or if he's just using me to get off...normally he does all the talking and stuff...but now he's making me repeat dirty things and I really don't want to but I want him to like me so I have to...he said he wont talk to me anymore if I don't...does it sound like he's using me?

Again, yes. You have to decide if what you're getting in return is worth it. Are you bartering (i.e. giving and taking in an even exchange) or are you selling yourself with the expectation the he'll love you? Being used in our kinds of relationships is a valid thing...if it's part of your barter. What are you getting out of it?

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 7:55:57 PM   
Meerkad


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		There's a 2Pac song that I've always enjoyed about sexual encounters called "Fair Exchange." Do you feel like you're getting a "Fair Exchange?"  

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 8:19:25 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Meerkad

There's a 2Pac song that I've always enjoyed about sexual encounters called "Fair Exchange." Do you feel like you're getting a "Fair Exchange?"  


You askin' this of me, hon? The answer would be, "Yes. Yes I am!" But, I'm not the OP and I'd be talking about r/t sex. LOL

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Meerkad)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 8:20:40 PM   
Meerkad


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		Silly Quick Reply function.

:P

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 8:55:00 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		What is it you like about him?...do you like that he makes you feel insecure and uses your fear of rejection against you? ...do you like that he gets off the phone immediately after his wants have been met?...do you like that he has you doing things you feel uncomfortable with at this stage of your relationship?..basically my answer is ,absolutely, you are being used..and if this is what you desire in your dynamic then continue on...if not, you may want to rethink this relationship....Tempting

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 9:03:43 PM   
MasterGremlin


Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

If like...a guy...hangs up...after he cums...I mean like...literally 5 seconds after he cums, he hangs up...every time...is that normal? Am I being used? We do it every night...and I like him a lot...I just...I dont know if he really cares about me at all...or if he's just using me to get off...normally he does all the talking and stuff...but now he's making me repeat dirty things and I really don't want to but I want him to like me so I have to...he said he wont talk to me anymore if I don't...does it sound like he's using me?


If you have to ask, then the answer is yes he's using you.
Sincerely,
minxy

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 10:09:03 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

If like...a guy...hangs up...after he cums...I mean like...literally 5 seconds after he cums, he hangs up...every time...is that normal? Am I being used? We do it every night...and I like him a lot...I just...I dont know if he really cares about me at all...or if he's just using me to get off...normally he does all the talking and stuff...but now he's making me repeat dirty things and I really don't want to but I want him to like me so I have to...he said he wont talk to me anymore if I don't...does it sound like he's using me?


Next time you are talking dirty to him and getting him all worked up, hang up and see what he does.

Akasha


_____________________________

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(in reply to dollparts85)
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RE: Question about phone sex... - 2/10/2007 10:14:52 PM   
MasterKalif


Posts: 648
Joined: 5/24/2004
Status: offline 		very good replies...I would say "yes"...and he doesn't seem to care for your feelings, might want to move on.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 20
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