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Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:08:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		One of the things that has continuously puzzled me is how so many kinksters say they are grossed out and consider it yucky if there are people (usually males) walking around or standing next to a scene and openly masturbating.

My question is why?  Why is it ok to put a naked butt up on a cross and whip it a bunch in public, but somehow a guy getting turned on and quietly (though blatantly) playing with himself is not cool?

Not that we should all find every type of scene lovely and beautiful- obviously we all have preferences and that's fine.  But many places will actually have rules AGAINST openly masturbating or complaints about it.  I don't get why kinksters seem to have such a problem with this, versus all the other stuff that goes on?

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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:10:41 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Most men have a rather tenous connection to their supposed masculinity and get all squicky around other men.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:20:13 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		 i get squicked at cum as a rule.....but i know i am weird.

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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:29:16 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		meep never mind


Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 2/10/2007 7:31:04 PM >

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:35:33 PM   
touchthesky


Posts: 121
Joined: 1/27/2007
Status: offline 		i don't see anything wrong with that. sometimes its a lil dull but it doesnt hurt anyone,i love to masturbate in public personally

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:44:06 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Personally I would rather some guy not be beating his meat in my presense... and yet women masturbating in public is not an issue for me, and I am straight. I guess I am just weird that way too

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:50:36 PM   
feylin


Posts: 182
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		I was at Paddles one night when a bound woman was openly manipulated to orgasm and everyone seemed quite pleased but I thought the mood changed in the same crowd when a man became obviously hard.  While he did not masturbate, there seemed to be (at the very least) discomfort with his passion.  

The floor at Paddles certainly does not seem to be ...hmmm.....well, not any cleaner than the public restroom floor in the Akron, OH bus station at seven in the morning during August, 1995 so I am going to set aside my ick factor about any mess and just say that, for me, it seems too initimate a thing to share with the public.  That certainly might be because I have only been in a few public situations like Paddles.  When I have been at private parties and the D/s or M/s interaction has been tangible, I felt like an intrusion.  Although beautiful to see, I felt like I should walk away to give them privacy.

To bring it back to the OP, men touching themselves just turns me on ~ rubbing their stomach, masturbating, smoothing a hand on the stubble along their jaw....good lord, life is good.  There should be more of it where I can see.  

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:53:18 PM   
StacyCat


Posts: 112
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		To me, it seems like an intrusion into my play space.  Sure, I am playing in a public place, but I am not playing for the benefit of other people, I am playing for me.  Its awesome if other people enjoy it, but they should not interfere with the headspace.

In addition, at one of the SF dungeons, it was awkward walking around with guys openly masturbating.  Their kink was the shock and horror of other people watching them, not their appreciation of the scenes they are witnessing.  That borders on the non consensual, like the guy that exposes himself on the subway.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:58:14 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

One of the things that has continuously puzzled me is how so many kinksters say they are grossed out and consider it yucky if there are people (usually males) walking around or standing next to a scene and openly masturbating.

My question is why?  Why is it ok to put a naked butt up on a cross and whip it a bunch in public, but somehow a guy getting turned on and quietly (though blatantly) playing with himself is not cool?

Not that we should all find every type of scene lovely and beautiful- obviously we all have preferences and that's fine.  But many places will actually have rules AGAINST openly masturbating or complaints about it.  I don't get why kinksters seem to have such a problem with this, versus all the other stuff that goes on?


I think it's the feeling of being used without consent. "That guy" is using scenes as free porn, or something. Being a voyuer still has a big taboo tagged to it (which is WHY lots of people like it). I have to say that I'd not totally be comfortable with it (I have a "dirty old man" squick factor) if I saw it, but if I knew it wasn't against club/party rules, he wasn't invading a scene and he damn well cleaned up after himself, I'd simply not watch him. Hmmm...actually...that might be fun.

Master Fire


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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 7:59:17 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		well for me,  it is the fact that i end up stepping in the puddles that the men frequently leave even before they reach the peek.....and when they do reach the peak,  I have gotten hit with the arrow of cupid on at least 1 occassion...that is JUST WRONG!!! It wouldnt bother me if they at least put condoms on...then there wouldnt be the stickies every where.  just my nickels worth!

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(in reply to StacyCat)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:01:17 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Some of the biggest prudes I've ever met have been in the BDSM scene. Some think mixing BDSM and sex is tantamount to heresy because everyone knows BDSM isn't about sex so I can't imagine them being too keen on some guy quietly tossing off to their scene. It would sully the good name of BDSM!  Feh.

At a play party I used to attend there was a guy who came a few times on his own. He'd walk around naked, watch scenes, never got a hard on that I noticed and occassionally he'd offer women who appeared to be obviously single a foot rub or neck massage. He never even touched his penis that I noticed. Well, the comments about that guy after the fact were something else. I suspect all the male dominant were up in arms because he was pretty well hung. Actually, really well hung. I'd have walked around nekkid too LOL


< Message edited by MsIncognito -- 2/10/2007 8:04:45 PM >

(in reply to StacyCat)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:05:28 PM   
Meerkad


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		Why is it a problem to some? It's similar to a portion of the populace having a problem with BDSM. It throws them off their game. 

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:09:31 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I would have a problem with them walking around cause of the precum and pre ejaculate they'd be spreading all over the place. It's very bad ettiqute to spread your fluids all over.

(in reply to Meerkad)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:12:08 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you wanted privacy, stay home.  While I have never masterbated by myself, I get naked, have sex, fuck women and have spit into their mouthes and jacked off into them.  To me it is ALL sex on one level or another.

(in reply to Meerkad)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:13:57 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feylin

I was at Paddles one night when a bound woman was openly manipulated to orgasm and everyone seemed quite pleased but I thought the mood changed in the same crowd when a man became obviously hard.  While he did not masturbate, there seemed to be (at the very least) discomfort with his passion.  

The floor at Paddles certainly does not seem to be ...hmmm.....well, not any cleaner than the public restroom floor in the Akron, OH bus station at seven in the morning during August, 1995 so I am going to set aside my ick factor about any mess and just say that, for me, it seems too initimate a thing to share with the public.  That certainly might be because I have only been in a few public situations like Paddles.  When I have been at private parties and the D/s or M/s interaction has been tangible, I felt like an intrusion.  Although beautiful to see, I felt like I should walk away to give them privacy.

To bring it back to the OP, men touching themselves just turns me on ~ rubbing their stomach, masturbating, smoothing a hand on the stubble along their jaw....good lord, life is good.  There should be more of it where I can see.  


Masterbation isnt even aloud at paddles... at least not on the upper floor I though it was for the entire club but I could be wrong.


Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to feylin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:18:45 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		When we went brat there was someone jacking off there, course he was doing it over his clothing.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:23:09 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Let me tell you like this Lucky Albatross, most people including other men, do not want to see men
beating their meat in public.
I have never seen a woman masturbating herself in public so it is normally a one sided occurrence.

This makes this a man issue, and again people do not want to see men beating/jacking off in public.
When women start doing this in great numbers, maybe people's opinions will change.

< Message edited by asubmissiveheart -- 2/10/2007 8:24:05 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:25:30 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

If you wanted privacy, stay home.  While I have never masterbated by myself, I get naked, have sex, fuck women and have spit into their mouthes and jacked off into them.  To me it is ALL sex on one level or another.


I think that if the rules of the play space accomodated you that is fine, and that others should be able to make rules to their comfort level, and if the play space has certain rules then the people that play there should not have to be around things that they have not consented to be around.  Like if I went to a club that had this restriced, yet some guy was watching my Daddy beat me while he was doing his " thang" I would think that it is someone else foisting a nonconsensual kink on to others, because what we consented to was to play within rules.


Not everyone likes the same thing... shrugs

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:43:02 PM   
feylin


Posts: 182
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


I think that if the rules of the play space accomodated you that is fine, and that others should be able to make rules to their comfort level, and if the play space has certain rules then the people that play there should not have to be around things that they have not consented to be around.  Like if I went to a club that had this restriced, yet some guy was watching my Daddy beat me while he was doing his " thang" I would think that it is someone else foisting a nonconsensual kink on to others, because what we consented to was to play within rules.


Not everyone likes the same thing... shrugs


This makes me wonder what you do consent to during public play.   Once you put yourself out there, isn't anything game?  I mean, could folks hold up Olympic-size score cards or shout out encouragement or discouragement?  Sure, it isn't the thing to do, but it made me laugh thinking of all the ways people could invade your public display.  Of course, if there is a rule against masturbation it should be upheld, but isn't public play giving a lot of free reign to strangers...a part of yourself, perhaps (just in that moment, of course)?

I think we need kinky sport commentators....."oooh, look at that back swing, Mike, I don't even think he connected where he wanted to with last stroke."  "Sure you're right, Frank, but we need to take into consideration the ceiling height.  Okay, here we go, he's going to switch to the Thumper....shorter strands but certainly a more substantial weight...this is a whole new ball game, Frank." 

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Masturbating & Public Play - 2/10/2007 8:45:28 PM   
Meerkad


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		"I mean, could folks hold up Olympic-size score cards"

I so have to develop that fetish. Heck with just in clubs...it'd be great in everyday life to just have a backpack with Olympic-size score cards within.

(in reply to feylin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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