RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 9:55:10 AM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

??Daddy Dom - Sugar Daddy??

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:01:20 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Well maybe, but not for my Daddy. He even says that in his profile. I think he may have had submissives approach him who thought he was going to support them financially in terms of their wanton spending habits - but he set them straight, I think. He doesn't mind a "stay-at-home" submissive - but he isn't going to support someone who just wants to sit around and watch tv and pop bon-bons all day long, and use his credit cards to shop for whatever they want all the time (although he can be generous, or so he has stated. I think he means he is not a tight-wad in terms of giving presents, etc.).

But I don't have any expectations, in that regard. I can (and plan to, if things go well) contribute financially to any household we'd ever set up together (as I would with any Dominant). Although there are probably men, and even so-called "Daddy Doms" who don't mind being Sugar-Daddies, I guess, and like giving them anything they ask for.

My real life Daddy prepared me not to be that way. I remember asking him for a car at sixteen (I had a friend whose Dad bought her a car). He just chuckled, and looked at me and said: "Get a job!"

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/13/2007 10:22:01 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to domahpet)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:05:48 AM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

just curious....any other opinions?

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:07:44 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Well I think there are probably Daddy Doms who are Sugar-Daddies. Just not my Daddy, maybe.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to domahpet)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:08:54 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i can only speak from my experience thus far with Daddy and can say He's a loving, caring, and nuturing Daddy. He does have the patience in the Daddy role however there are times when His Dom side appears while talking to Him or during a session. i can tell by the sound of His words and mood whether He's in the Daddy or Dom role ...sometimes both. if He calls me a "bitch", then i know He's in that Dom role which arouses me. if He calls me "honey" or "daughter", it's snuggle time on Daddy's lap.

oh about Daddy-Doms being a sugar-Daddy. mine's almost like one since i'm a "kept" daughter-submissive. He likes spoiling me with presents and little things from His heart because i'm His princess. this month i received my Valentine's Day present over the weekend ...next month it might be sexy lingerie and shoes ...for my birthday in April - who knows what Daddy might surprise me with.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 2/13/2007 10:13:36 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:09:44 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

My real life Daddy prepared me not to be that way. I remember asking him for a car at sixteen (I had a friend who's Dad bought her a car). He just chuckled and looked at me and said: "Get a job!"

I had a car at 16, and I certainly was not spoiled. My dad bought a used car, put pin stripes on it and told me that in order to keep it I had to get a job. He said he'd pay for everything but the gas.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:10:10 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

sambamanslilgirl: Thanks for the reply.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:12:09 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

KatyLied: Well, I got screwed (kind of) because I was the oldest. By the time my little sister was sixteen, she made the same arrangement as you with my dad, and he did buy her a car. I should say that my dad did buy me a car when I graduated from college (it was a "beater", but it was still a car. I had to pay for the gas and insurance, of course).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/13/2007 10:17:45 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:16:10 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Well if our relationships with our real dad is a part of the discussion, I think that my father passing away when I was 13 maybe a major part of what feels very healing about the daddy dom dynamic for me. I am not saying that I feel as though I have a replacement, but there is a sense of gaining something lost on some level.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:19:09 AM

findmedaddy

Posts: 254
Joined: 5/18/2006
From: Maine
Status: offline

Julia,

That's a lovely post you wrote. Thanks.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:19:57 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

juliaoceania: Yes, I think that probably was a very significant thing. I know my Dominant was maybe a bit taken aback by what I told him (which is really personal, but if you want to know, feel free to write e-mail me), and that's when he said: "Would you like to call me Daddy?" I think he thought I needed one - and maybe I do, although today, I get along great with my real Dad, and love him very much (he's a great Dad).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/13/2007 10:22:45 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:20:21 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I disagree, with that guuy, I fully own my desires, I am extreamly comfortable with them have been for years, I know my mind, I know what I want, and I identify fully as an adult toddler, woh has a daddy who because it fufils us, not because I don't know what I want, or am a poor learner, or anything else implied. I have child like traits because it's who I am and a part of me, it never had one thing to do with slavery submission or D.s. James wouldn't have it any other way, I am open and loving and for the most part not cynical, like I would be if I did not have the child like wonderment of things. I am easily delighted, easily pleased* well most times* and he enjoys my child like traits.* well most of them lol, some frusterate him*

Second of all, we can identify ourself and his power in many ways, him saying that d/lg can't is simply his one sided opinion. James gave me an engraved kitty cat tag, it says cruels subby kitty, and I am sure we;ll get another one that says Daddy's baby, or Daddies slut, and I will wear a collar just like any one else out there who does when it comes time to. in fact right this minute for months I have worn a ring h e approved of me getting so I can have an everyday apropriate symble of us, and what the words on the ring represent to me. faith love purity, I wear cuffs to on ocasion, will more often when we're full time.

I have no frustrations that he claims adult little girls have, and I will never "run away" from James to find someone better. I have never left someone for someone better, I refuse to that's dispicable, self centered, and it's hurtful to the one being left. I have left however because it just wasn't a good thing to be in any more, or it'd expired naturally. NEVER EVER though because "somone better" had come along.

quote:

ORIGINAL: servicewithsmile

A little girl on the other hand typically has not reached that juncture in life. She likely will be a grown and mature woman who by most definition would be considered to have led a full and even richly rewarding life. Because she hasn’t yet reached that place where she is comfortable or experienced with her desires and as such can’t communicate them fully or honestly she retains more childlike traits than does the ideal slave.

Unlike Master/slave relationships that can connote status and commitment through collaring, the Daddy/little girl relationship have nothing to neither signify nor sanctify it. This can also be a frustration for a little girl who would like to have something physically tangible to display as commitment, like a collar or wedding ring does.

Little girl’s can successfully grow up during the course of a Daddy/little girl relationship and it’s up to each Daddy as to what form of relationship they want to have with their grown little girl.

Most little girls will end up running away though at some point from their Daddy to foster a new relationship or resume an old one.

(in reply to servicewithsmile)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:23:41 AM

findmedaddy

Posts: 254
Joined: 5/18/2006
From: Maine
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domahpet

??Daddy Dom - Sugar Daddy??

Hard to generalize. There are some men here who portray themselves as sugar daddies, and I expect that women who are looking for one will respond to that. For me the desire is for something much deeper -- nurture, structure, patience, discipline, something that feels unconditional. And, like JuliaofOceana, for me it's about trying to fill a need that couldn't be filled by my own dad, much as I loved him.

< Message edited by findmedaddy -- 2/13/2007 10:26:37 AM >

(in reply to domahpet)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:25:03 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Also, I feel for me personally any dominant who is worthy of being a dominant wouldn't hold back forgiveness nor deny it after all is supposedly put right.

quote:

ORIGINAL: servicewithsmile
Though he will likely choose to discipline her, and continue to try to teach her better he does not withhold or deny forgiveness.

(in reply to servicewithsmile)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:28:08 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

findmedaddy: I feel the same way. I can support myself - I don't need anyone to do that for me, really. I did that for 8 years before I was married, and I am doing it now. And, while I like the role of being a "stay-at-home" submissive, I am somewhat uncomfortable with putting my total financial welfare in someone else's hands (although I did it for years with my husband, I still feel funny and insecure about letting anyone else handle that for me). Although I will say about that - to each their own, etc.

So I am glad that my Dominant has made it clear he prefers a submissive handle her own money (at least day-to-day spending, has her own checking account, etc.). He will support a submissive as a stay at home person, but she has to be able to financially contribute (at least a bit, unless that is impossible, for some reason), and also he wants her to have her bank accounts.

I think if he was with someone who found it impossible to contribute financially (as I think it was with his submissive with the severe medical problems), he would feel fine about supporting them. Although I believe she had her own (very good) medical coverage. We still would need to discuss all of that, if things work out, of course.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/13/2007 10:37:58 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to findmedaddy)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:36:54 AM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

Susan, what I really want to know is: What are you going to do if he is a bad kisser?
Maybe we can start a thread about that!

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:40:01 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

justheather: If he's a bad kisser, he's gone.

It's that simple (really. Nothing can replace "chemistry", I don't think. I know that might sound superficial, but I think it's really not). But - believe it or not - we've asked eachother that question already. He claims he is a great kisser (and so do I, about myself). I will send you a full report, upon my return from my trip!

We should start a thread about that - we really should. I saw a whole segment on the Today show this morning about people in relationships that are "dead" (no "chemistry" left at all) who are just together because they fear leaving. Well, I say why be in that kind of relationship? If you're not "feeling it" from the beginning - I do understand why peope do this, but especially in a bdsm relationship, I think it would be hard to fake "feeling the feeling" (or love, or whatever) if it just isn't there.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/13/2007 10:48:56 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to justheather)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:43:49 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

People who are bad kisser never realize it. Just saying.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:47:28 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

KatyLied: Well, that makes sense. But, I'd tell them (but I tell them nicely). Heck I'd even tell them what I'd like better, or what I'd like them to do, etc., but some Doms, I suppose would consider that "insubordinate" (but hopefully, they'd take it as a sign there might be a way to salvage whatever was going right, instead).

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Are Daddy Doms really more nurturing than Masters? - 2/13/2007 10:50:52 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

The question was asked is there any mummy Dommes. The answer is yes I am one. I am also a daddy Domme. I know they are both archetypal so they are only useful as labels.
What I mean by that is if a submissive needs a type of relationship that is mummy or daddy then I provide it. Until the need is no longer there.
Relationships change and develop over time. When considering a relationship which will hopefully last for life I am careful to be aware of the possible changes in the submissives needs. D/s relationships take more nurturing and trust than any other type of relationship anyway because hopefully they are emotionally deeper than any other type. My sadism is perfectly under control. I will use it at the right time in a relationship and not before.
The main elements of a D/s relationship for me are nurture and control just as in a parent/child relationship.
Discipline of one sort or another is part of control. But it has to be loving discipline. That's why the traditional Mistress/slave relationship would never work for me.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 40