domtimothy46176
Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
quote:
ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176
Ahh, but how many threads do you see where the OP is preaching about the immorality of cheating? It doesn't happen much if ever. The usual pattern is an OP asking how to do it better or make it more gratifying or otherwise seeking some form of tacit approval. My position is don't publicise it if you aren't willing to have it discussed. It's no different than anything else posted for public discussion on the boards, is it?
Agreed, 100%, however, if seeing a post asking you to condone cheating upsets you so much you need to do more than post in that thread, why not just ignore it?
Sure, there are lots of posts asking people to say "it's ok that you're doing this." If you believe it is morally wrong, say that on the thread, and leave it at that. There don't need to be blanket statements made in the entire forum based on my morality, because it certainly isn't the universal morality.
Point of fact, I -agree- with RiotGirl. And I generally say so on a given thread. What I don't get is allowing it to make you so upset that you -need- to attempt to force everyone into that world view.
The same thing goes for definitions. Ok, as you like, there is "one" definition. Think that, be happy, and -move on- Don't expect everyone -else- to think it because you do.
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And for the record, it's my position that the unknowing spouse is always harmed by the cheating spouse. She's being deceived and robbed of the attention and the fidelity that was promised to her. Her marriage is lessened by the cheaters actions.
I partially agree here as well. I should have been clearer. I think that if someone is in immediate, mortal danger, it is the obligation of every person that becomes aware to -do- something. Potential, future danger? Well, there are -lots- of people in that positon and while I abhore it, I don't believe it is my duty as a good human to fix that. I was trying to say "if someone isn't being killed/mutilated/murdered et al while it sucks, it isn't our duty to remove them from the situation"
quote:
"I would reverse your question, if I may. What's the point of coming into the forums if you aren't willing to speak up about your values, your beliefs, your thoughts, comments and opinions? It is a forum for the exchange of ideas and information, why would yours not have as much value as anyone else's?"
Didn't say you should speak up. Say anything you like -in the appropriate place- which would be on the threads invovling the things you object to. If you notice, I do exactly that. I speak up on the threads, and state my opinions. '
What I -don't- understand are creating whole threads to, basically, bash someone elses ideas.
Anyone who is on this forum frequently knows at least one perso who is in a committed relationship with someone who may or may not be cheating. To create an entire post saying that his/her life is -wrong- is...well...misguided in my view. Tell him/her that in threads that relate and where it is warented.
again, like financial domination. WHY do people feel the need to create entire threads saying it's wrong? Or, write to someone, unsolicited, to tell them they are evil?
I see those situations as one where, well, there is nothing benificial happening from doing so. I believe the same is true here.
I'm terribly confused. I didn't start an entire thread to preach about my opinons, I only responded to RiotGirl's OP. However, if I felt strongly enough about it, why wouldn't I start a new thread? It's just as valid a topic as many others out there on the boards, don't you think? For some of us, it touches respect, honor, trust and commitment, all of which are intregal parts of many relationships. For at least a minority of those who practice wiitwd, cheating is a big issue.
Furthermore, spounting my position on ANY topic is not the same as forcing anyone to comply with my standards. AS a matter of fact, I explicitly stated this in my post, writing, " I have never told anyone they can't do whatever foolish thing they want to do but I have no compunction at all explaining precisely why I would not take that path." and again when I wrote, " My personal POV is that cheaters should slink back under their slime-covered rocks and hide their disgraceful cowardice from the light of day. I do not, however, flame them when they choose to post about their adulterous affairs, telling them they have no business masquerading as doms and subs nor do I tell them they have no business talking about their shameful behavior among decent people.
On the contrary, I respect their right to say what they will and do what they will, regardless of how wrong it is. It's only when they choose to open their choices to public discussion that I make my opinion known. Even then I hold myself to a clear standard of civil discourse." At no time do I demand anyone on these forums accept my definitions or standards. I relate my opinions and those judgements which rule my life. I really fail to see how my doing so is any less appropriate than anyone relating his or her POV that odds with mine. Although Taggard and I are on opposite sides of the fence on some things, I don't suggest he doesn't have the right to practice whatever morals he finds appropriate or speak his mind about mine or anyone else's. I can and will say, however, that I disagree and explain why I disagree. This is called discussion and debate.
Timothy
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RE: Putting it straight AGAIN - 
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