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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 12:56:09 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

No bent feelings here.  People use terms they choose to use.  I am not being offensive.  If you can't handle a word then quit reading.  




Hmm, I don't recall saying you were offensive, nor that I couldn't handle it.  In fact, I answered your question earlier in the thread (although, at the time you were arguing with others, so you might have missed it).

It was an honest question about your particular way of repeatedly phrasing things.  But way to bite my head off for asking.


_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 12:59:40 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline 		You seemed like you were not too happy with a word.

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:00:55 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

quote:

Thank you.  But what if one of his needs didn't match with yours, since you love him would you still service the need?


Too broad a question to answer absolutely.  It would depend completely on the specific need or if it was a need or a want.  If it is a want, probably not.  If it was a need, then that may be compromise time, time for him to step up or time to end it.  Depends.


Thanks.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:14:31 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		No, I asked if there was some conotation you were putting on the word the rest of us weren't privy to.  And if there was, that it might be a good idea to share it so we could better understand the question.

And I noted that it appeared to be a sticking point in this thread.

A single word can derail a perfectly good question.  It can cloud the answers, and it can take on different meanings for different people (in this case 'servicing' means different things to different folks in different relationships).  If you're not getting the answers you'd hoped for, sometimes it's a good idea to try rephrasing to clarify instead of repeating the same thing over and over.  

< Message edited by valeca -- 2/27/2007 1:15:35 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:18:35 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline 		roflmao, thanks

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:28:11 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


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Joined: 2/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca

No, I asked if there was some conotation you were putting on the word the rest of us weren't privy to.  And if there was, that it might be a good idea to share it so we could better understand the question.

And I noted that it appeared to be a sticking point in this thread.

A single word can derail a perfectly good question.  It can cloud the answers, and it can take on different meanings for different people (in this case 'servicing' means different things to different folks in different relationships).  If you're not getting the answers you'd hoped for, sometimes it's a good idea to try rephrasing to clarify instead of repeating the same thing over and over.  


Your clarification:  Do dominants submit to requests?

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Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:29:27 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

Do Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes?  If so, is the dominant being submissive when acting out the sub's fantasy for the sub?  If yes,  does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship? 


Thanks to everyone who were kind enough to contribute.  Your responses were appreciated.  Thank you again.

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Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:36:21 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

quote:

So as I am gathering that yes sometimes a dom will service a sub's needs on occasion.


If I didn't serve his needs, why would he stay with me?  It's a lucky coincidence for him that his needs coincide with my own so well.  It's what makes us compatible. 


Dead on the nail!!! Total agreement with this one!!!

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:47:47 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		How to best illustrate this...

Let's say there's Dom/me which has a big thing for whips.
Let's say there's sub which has a big thing for being tickled senseless with feathers.
If the Dom only whips the sub, and never tickles the sub with feathers.

It's a matter of the sub finding somebody Dom enough to do so.
If you are Dom enough to whip ass, why not be Dom enough to tickle as well..
You can still tickle and be in complete control, you know.

A Dom which wants to maintain control will tickle the sub, else
they are at risk of loosing all control, if the sub unsubmits to the relationship.

A very general illustration to think about...



< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 2/27/2007 1:48:51 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:51:35 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		It seems to me, that this OP has a definite point that he is trying to make, and in my opinion, the point that he seems to be trying to get agreement on is that if a Dominant ever does what a submissive requests then the authority has shifted in the relationship and the Dominant has become nothing more than a Service Top, serving the whims of the submissive.

Multiple people have responded with the fact that service has nothing to do with who hold the authority in the relationship and that a relationship is about both peoples' needs being met. As a submissive i have a need to submit, to give authority to another, is a Dominant any less of a Dominant by allowing my need to submit to be met in my submitting to Him? Has He become a Service Top by allowing me to submit to Him at all because that is fulfilling my need to submit? Because by doing so, He is fulfilling (to use the OP's word serving) my need to submit. As multiple people have said, a Dominant is serving His or Her own need in fulfilling the request or need of the submissive and if said request does not serve the need of the Dominant, is doesn't get fulfilled.

Although i am not owned, i would never even think about telling the Dominant that i play with what kind of scene i want and exactly how i want Him to do it. That would in fact have me in the place of authority or calling the shots. But when He specifically asks what i would like Him to do to me, i answer but without any specifics, leaving the authority in His hands. Dominance and submissive is about the transfer of authority and that authority did not leave Him and come to me just because He asked me what kind of scene i might like on a particular occasion. His intent was to try to do something nice for me because He WANTED to.

heartfelt

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:53:47 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think the OP needs to stop posting for a few hours and digest the answers given.


Thank you for gracing us with your witty insightful intelligence and delusions of adequaqcy but this OP thinks you need to release your bowels and crawl back when you feel better. 


Also to add, it doesn't matter how many times one says Thank you to various posters, comments like this makes a person rude.

heartfelt

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:56:16 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Indeed, I don't know why people are playing along.  The OP's intentions and false-and-mocking act of politeness have been obvious from page one.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 1:58:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

Indeed, I don't know why people are playing along.  The OP's intentions and false-and-mocking act of politeness have been obvious from page one.


I wasn't so much playing along as interested in whether or not the OP would serve a submissive.  Having asked twice and ignored, I lost interest.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 2:05:26 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		WhiplashSmile: I agree, it's a matter of finding someone compatible.
 
CreatefreeAccount: I noticed you're a Switch couple. How do you see the answer to your own question? By that I mean, do you have a philosophy about when it is okay or not for a Dominant to serve a submissive? I am simply curious, and just asking.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/27/2007 2:07:37 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 2:06:38 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline 		Have something to contribute to the topic?  Then post it.  I may end up thanking you too, (as I did the other polite responders).   Not my problem you can't see sincerity even if it slaps you dead in the face. 

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 2:08:07 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Susan he/she already said he does not feel there is a right or wrong (hence "okay" or not "okay").  My question was more directly whether he/she would serve the submissive. 

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 2:08:31 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think the OP needs to stop posting for a few hours and digest the answers given.


Thank you for gracing us with your witty insightful intelligence and delusions of adequaqcy but this OP thinks you need to release your bowels and crawl back when you feel better. 


Also to add, it doesn't matter how many times one says Thank you to various posters, comments like this makes a person rude.

heartfelt


So forget all the positive exchanges in one on one respones and all the thank yous and instead focus on one rude exchange between someone WHO STARTED in with the rudeness first.  Yes, that makes a lot of sense.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 2:10:39 PM   
CreatfreeAccount


Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

WhiplashSmile: I agree, it's a matter of finding someone compatible.
 
CreatefreeAccount: I noticed you're a Switch couple. How do you see the answer to your own question? By that I mean, do you have a philosophy about when it is okay or not for a Dominant to serve a submissive? I am simply curious, and just asking.

- Susan


By all means, ask.  I have not much to go on.  But like I said before when a sub reguests the dom do her in a certain manner and the dom does, the dom is servicing her request.  So, doms do sometimes service a sub and a sub's needs. 

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 2:17:00 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, whatever works. If they're happy, who can argue with success? I don't think it would make him any less "Domly" to go along with a request, if there is some question about that, IMO. But if they are debating it, or can't decide or something, I think it'sthe Dominant's desires that take precedence, due to the nature of the relationship.

They hopefully have discussed things like "limits" between them, etc. before they agreed to embark on a D/s relationship to begin with. But if not, there's no time like the present, I guess. 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/27/2007 2:20:59 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 2:17:38 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I think it is improtant for the sub to be able to key in on the Dom/dommes interests and be able to read his/her mood and thoughts....For instance if I was a sub male I might suggest to my Domme that maybe we could go out and get somethingto eat....No matter what time it is you can bank on it that she will probably agree and this way I could get something to eat and my domme would be pleased as well.

Easy peeeezy!!!!

_____________________________



(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)
Profile   Post #: 160
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