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RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 4:46:43 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

first of all, did you exhibit your slaveness into the public world or was it behind closed doors? did everyone on the board fully know and comprehended that you were owned as slave?

granted there are those who are "successful" in the vanilla life however for some reason they exhibit tendencies of slave mentality (low self-esteem and lack confidence to motivate) deep inside themselves because they need someone to tell them constantly "you're doing a good job" or "you need to get this and this done".

me on the other hand, i was raised to think and be independent and self-motivated and that's why cannot see myself in a slave position because of the way i was raised to think.

edited to remove my commentary because my opinion about yours is really unnecessary and wrong of me to state... peace

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/27/2007 4:48:11 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 21

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 4:53:36 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

~Quicky~

Slave lives for me.
Sub lives for his/her agenda.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 22

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 5:03:57 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

~Quicky~

Slave lives for me.
Sub lives for his/her agenda.

This definition works for you, but I am wondering, what if you both are living for a common dream? Ooopps, that is called marriage, huh

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 23

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 5:07:21 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

~Quicky~

Slave lives for me.
Sub lives for his/her agenda.

This definition works for you, but I am wondering, what if you both are living for a common dream? Ooopps, that is called marriage, huh

Somehow the title of the thread mislead me. Let me try again.

All you beyatches and ho's out there get readys for the one true and real way!

You skanky lil slave sluts live for me... that all of ya!

You nasty ass subs... live for me too!!

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 24

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 5:17:43 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

i use them interchangeably, because as many people define slave, i am a slave - i would self-identify as a slave. He calls me His submissive, so that's what's in my profile. in my posts, i tend to refer to myself as a slave or a submissive, depending on the post, or just on whatever happens to come out of my fingers first. :) however, i understand a lot of people define them differently, and i'm cool with that.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 25

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 5:21:40 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you?

Is there a difference for you?

They don't mean much to me anymore. I know my place in my relationship and he has authority over whatever he chooses to have authority over. Some might think that makes me a slave and others might think that because I am intelligent, self-reliant, self confident and direct that I cannot be a slave. Others can think what they want; it doesn't change my intimate relationships.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 26

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 5:46:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
first of all, did you exhibit your slaveness into the public world or was it behind closed doors? did everyone on the board fully know and comprehended that you were owned as slave?

Everyone in attendance knew that I was an owned slave- my owner and I were frequent regulars at social events.

quote:

me on the other hand, i was raised to think and be independent and self-motivated and that's why cannot see myself in a slave position because of the way i was raised to think.

So you're suggesting that I was "hiding" my lack of motivation and lack of goal orientation during those meetings and thus only appearing to be motivated and goal oriented?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 27

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 6:21:33 PM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

Historically slaves have always been a hard working peoples..........
Seriously for me, when I hear slave I think 2 things, long term relationship or confused beginner. I have to acknowledge I am a slave to my Daddy. He is the first one to bring that out in me and the only one to date. On occasion random others have inspired a feeling of submission but for the most part by sambas' girl, definition of a submissive I should call myself that....... even though it doesn't even scratch the surface. Some people even think I am spoiled, bratty, mean, even stoic but their not my Daddy. For the most We all have to try and create a label for an idea, concept, or product that can be easily understood cause it would be hell going grocery shopping then. These definition discussions aways remind me of Alice in wonderland, when the Mad Hatter said, " I mean what ever I want it to mean."

Edited to add: Safe, Sane and consenual are not everyones motto. It was a good starting place for us but personally not alot of what we do could be considered exactly safe. I know sane is not a term heard alot around here, unless it is following the prefix in -. We are still working on getting rid of that consensual but so far there has never been a time where I wasn't willing and I can never quite act like the victum I would like to be..... but I digress.

< Message edited by BDSM05478 -- 2/27/2007 6:28:12 PM >

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 28

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 6:37:27 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I've settled on what someone told me as the best way to think about it. A slave is the noun referring to someone who submits. I've been working with this idea and it makes sense to me.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 29

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 6:52:05 PM

bearincuffs

Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

my personal pov (flame away when i'm finished).

a submissive to me is a strong, self-motivated, successful, confident, high self-esteem, organized, goal-minded person who wouldn't work well in a micromanaged and/or TPE envirnonment. they seek to enhance and expand the gifts and talents already possessed and/or obtain more with guidance. they don't use words like "i think i deserve His love" because they already know they're loved. this description describes me.

a slave to me is someone who is clingy, less goal oriented, not so much motivated unless their Dom tells what to do and how to do it, unorganized and works best in a D/s relationship that involves task type of servitude and TPE. there's probably signs of low self-esteem and confidence. they hope someday to live up to their Master's expectations and earn his love.

as i stated earlier - my personal point of view. you may now flame away.

I had to read this several times before I understood exactly what you were saying. To a certain exyent I do agree and I also believe that many subs/slaves are a combination of both qualities. At least, that is how I see myself. My Master considers me as his slave and I see myself as being more of a submissive, so to compromise in my own mind, I think as both.

A few of your opinions about slave qualities may or may not be true some extent in many people yet I do admit I see some in me, which I am slowly working on fixing. Though this is maily due to much of what I've experienced since childhood.

This is how I see it strictly from my own life and how it applies to myself!

< Message edited by bearincuffs -- 2/27/2007 6:53:58 PM >

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 30

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:01:15 PM

TheMasterBear

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/3/2005
Status: offline

Very interesting answers, all of you. I have come to find the term slave refers to someone who can submit fully, and I do mean in all aspects. This is how it is with my slave. She had originally identified herself as a submissive, because in her words, “I have children and need to maintain some level of control”. Now she identifies more with the slave term for she will do what ever I want when ever I want and her first thought is to please me. That, to me at least, is the definition of a “slave” in our modern society. Conversely, a submissive is some one who enjoys the bdsm activities however cant, or wont give up that sense of “self”

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 31

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:05:46 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

A difference between amount of responsibility and control a Dom has over the other person.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 32

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:14:35 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

Daddy decides whatever he chooses to decide, when he chooses to decide and lets me have the freedom of choice in matters he chooses.
There is no ongoing negotiation.
I regard my submission as a deeply spiritual act.
My limits are his limits.

Whatever this makes me, I identify as a submissive. That's all that matters to me.

< Message edited by justheather -- 2/27/2007 7:15:57 PM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 33

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:24:52 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Daddy decides whatever he chooses to decide, when he chooses to decide and lets me have the freedom of choice in matters he chooses.
There is no ongoing negotiation.
I regard my submission as a deeply spiritual act.
My limits are his limits.

Whatever this makes me, I identify as a submissive. That's all that matters to me.

This is where we have been heading, and as those who have been reading us know, it is a process and not a destination. I know that there was supposed to be ongoing negotiations as we developed our dynamic.... but it I do not notice much negotiating going on these days when he says he wants something from me...lol. Like kyra said, it just does not seem very important anymore, I self identify as a submissive, but it just does not matter to me how other people define themselves... it's all about the happiness

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 34

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:30:25 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
... it's all about the happiness

And here I was under the impression that it was All About the Subbie.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 35

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:36:16 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you?

Is there a difference for you?

To me and for me, there is a difference. These are the definitions that i use and that have relevance in my life experience.

A submissive is someone who submits to another's authority or will.

A slave is an owned person and the property of another. In this society, which outlawed slavery, being owned by another is strictly consensensual and is based on the Owner and the property agreeing to and accepting this arrangement.

As a submissive, i kept my birth name.

As a slave, my Master chose my name.

When i was in D/s relationships, i submitted when my Doms were present, otherwise, i was just as independent and self-determined in what i did and when and how as i chose to be. When He was with me, i served Him completely but, as soon as He was gone, i was right back to doing whatever i felt like, until the next time i was with Him or the next time He gave me a task to complete. It was almost like having a split personality and i didn't like it. i wanted to be under His control all the time and not have the freedom to make my own choices. That was one of my main reasons for seeking a 24/7/365 Master/slave TPE relationship.

When i became a slave, i had to go through a period of readjustment but, i was extremely motivated to become a total slave to my Master. He had to break a few bad habits that i had from years of being a submissive and not a slave. The main bad habit that i brought with me was a mindset that i knew better than my Master of what was good for me, when, in fact, my very smart and caring Master who is very concerned about His slave's health and well being and wants to protect her, even from herself (a workaholic and below-knee amputee), actually knows what is best for His slave, including how much sleep she needs to be at her best and when to get off of her leg.

As a slave, even when my Master isn't present, i continue to hear His voice and to do what He has told me to do and what He would want me to do, if He were present. i don't stop being a slave when He is not with me. It is within me to stay a slave every minute of the day, instead of deciding to just do whatever i feel like just because He isn't there to see. i am not locked up or chained all the time and i could get away with a lot when He is at work or doing other things but, i don't because i don't want to. i want to stay true to my obligation to serve my Master 24/7, whether He is with me or not. He isn't forcing me to do this. It is an internal drive within me. Other than that, i serve my Master exactly as i served every Dom i had relationships with, all of which lasted between 1 - 7 years each. My life as a slave is now much more strict and structured, which is what i was needing in my life.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 36

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:39:31 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

didn't know i needed to have experience first to express my own personal point of view - someone didn't give me a rulebook when i "discovered" my submissiveness.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 2/27/2007 7:40:20 PM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 37

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:40:36 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Daddy decides whatever he chooses to decide, when he chooses to decide and lets me have the freedom of choice in matters he chooses.
There is no ongoing negotiation.
I regard my submission as a deeply spiritual act.
My limits are his limits.

Whatever this makes me, I identify as a submissive. That's all that matters to me.

This is where we have been heading, and as those who have been reading us know, it is a process and not a destination. I know that there was supposed to be ongoing negotiations as we developed our dynamic.... but it I do not notice much negotiating going on these days when he says he wants something from me...lol. Like kyra said, it just does not seem very important anymore, I self identify as a submissive, but it just does not matter to me how other people define themselves... it's all about the happiness

yeah, but I thought all I had to do was get stranded somewhere, find a magic lamp.. and rub... Poof!!
"Your wish Sir!!".... lol
Oh wait, I'm confused I meant to say... get lost in cyberspace, find the right ass... and rub... Poof!!
"Your wish Sir!!".... lol

I think most of the negotiation process is done at the early stages and a lot before entering into the relationship. Anything which was not clearly worked out before hand should get worked out. After awhile, everything should be running smooth like a well serviced automobile... if not then time to see the mechanic.. and get the problem fixed... if it can't be fixed... sell the car.. or send it to the junk yard... MMmmmm... some people just leave it the yard and watch it slowly rust....though....

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 38

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:46:08 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

didn't know i needed to have experience first to express my own personal point of view - someone didn't give me a rulebook when i "discovered" my submissiveness.

It is best to base one's opinions on real life interactions with many people instead of what one thinks up on their own. I mean I could say all lawyers are crooks.. but I do not know enough lawyers to make that generalization... it is really a flaw in your logic to stereotype someone based upon a label. It is called a faulty generalization.

You can do that as much as you want, but others that you negatively stereotype will respond to it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 39

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/27/2007 7:51:01 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I thought I would add this:

You kinda set yourself up when you said "slaves are this way and submissives are that way" instead of saying what your own personal experience is with your label. It was a very negative statement you made about people that call themselves slaves, and if someone made that statement about you based on calling yourself a submissive, I bet you would react too.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 40

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