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RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you?


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RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 12:51:30 PM   
justangelic


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/23/2006
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I love this topic!!
There really isn't a correct answer in my mind.
The lifestyle is not something that can be completely defined in Black & White.

I live on my own and have been seeing a Dom for 2 years weekends only and when holidays come around. I am seen in many eyes as a slave to him, yet many people would call me a sub. I have not defined myself as far as being a sub or slave and never will. Why? Because there are so many opinions on both terms and I really don't believe who we really are is that easy to define in life period.

My relationship with my Trainer is fairly easy for me to understand. He makes the decisions, he does ask my opinion and thoughts however he is the one who decides. There are tasks and things I do in day to day life that he expects me to handle without always having to check with him. There are times where he will allow me to make a choice, it may be what to cook or a movie we will watch, however that is if he gives me that choice otherwise again it is he who decides. We will be moving into 24/7 this Summer he will have control over all in my life including my finances, what I eat, and so on. We have built a strong and trusting relationship to the point where I know he would never use or abuse me or my trust in him.

Am I a slave or a sub?

To me I am a girl who wants to belong to a Man who I can bring happiness and pleasure and in doing so my life will also be happy and I will feel grounded in life.

angel

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 1:42:01 PM   
hereyesruponyou


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Joined: 1/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: justangelic

Am I a slave or a sub?

To me I am a girl who wants to belong to a Man who I can bring happiness and pleasure and in doing so my life will also be happy and I will feel grounded in life.

angel


Good for you! It's great to hear about people who are HAPPY!

(in reply to justangelic)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 1:56:10 PM   
bayboundse


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/29/2005
From: Oak Ridge, TN
Status: offline
My sub is also my slave. She willingly is both. In our Vanilla life she is a sub, she is openely respectful and I am very much the "Man of the House". In our private life she is my slave. Its a subtle switch in view and the way we act towards each other. I know its not the same for everyone. As her Master I protect her, cherish her, provide the comforts and security she needs, control her, and most of all love her. As her Dom it is basically the same except the control is alot less open. In my writings here and in other places I refer to her as my sub/slave and myself as her Dom/Master. She always refers to me as her Master and herself as my slave. So even in our relationship we have a slightly diffrent view on our titles for each other.

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 5/28/2007 12:40:24 PM   
sentinel2u


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
I have often debated these definiations and I think they will vary from person to person. I personally identify myself as submissive. In my mind a submissive isn't different from a slave at all when she completely surrenders to a dominant.

Yes, there are limits that a submissive has, and I think limits are what makes the D/s relationship interesting, challenging and intense. Without a limit, there is not so much to push or explore and I don't personally see it as being realistic. I feel that every person has their own limits. Are they pushable or set in the stone? That is the part that gets interesting. 

I also feel that as submissive I am not giving to my dominant anything less than a slave does. In the end it all comes to communication, feelings, devotion, respect and love.


(in reply to Lawrence111)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 5/28/2007 2:32:51 PM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline
Well said

beanie

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to bearincuffs)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 6/5/2007 2:40:03 PM   
MasterBRD


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline
The following article was originally written by Raven Shadowborne © 2001

I think it says a great deal... Out of courtesy I won't copy/paste the entire thing here. Anyone who wishes to read the entire thing may do so by looking at my journal entry from
3/19/2007 7:22:06 AM

Many ask if slaves truly exist. In the way a dictionary  
and history define slavery, no they do not exist in most modern countries.  
(Though there is some contention that slavery rings do still exist in  
secret) Most people in civilized countries generally agree that the  
legal ownership of another human being is immoral and thus make it illegal.  
However, in the world of BDSM, one will find that some of the people  
involved call themselves by many different terms; one of these is the  
term "slave". Of course, this often raises the question of how is a  
slave different from a submissive. This question often is met with outright  
hostility, disbelief in the existence of slaves and the thought that  
the words slave and submissive (as nouns) are interchangeable terms  
within the context of BDSM. Many will not agree with any of those thoughts,  
and I am one of them. I have spent a great deal of time talking with  
slaves in the honest attempt to better understand them, their lifestyle  
choices, and judge for myself whether or not this is a healthy variation  
to the BDSM lifestyle.
 
To the question of whether or not slaves exist inside  
of BDSM I say that yes they do. They may not be the largest group, but  
there are quite a few. Do slaves differ from submissives? Again, my  
answer is yes they do. Slaves tend to differ from submissives by the  
way they think, act, submit and their expectations.


_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 6/5/2007 3:25:17 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
Total Power Exchange vs. Partial Power Exchange

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 6/5/2007 3:52:34 PM   
Blueyelady


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Joined: 6/3/2007
Status: offline
i am completely in agreement with you on your discription of the difference in "slave" and "sub"

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 6/5/2007 5:10:42 PM   
bliss1


Posts: 497
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline
Submissive - with one man who is head of household, I choice to follow his rules - but retain my right to say no
Slave - I give up my right to say no


_____________________________

Witch before, during, and after my coffee.

(in reply to Blueyelady)
Profile   Post #: 109
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