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RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:03:46 AM

BDSM05478

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Joined: 10/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

didn't know i needed to have experience first to express my own personal point of view - someone didn't give me a rulebook when i "discovered" my submissiveness.

If we don't base our opinions on experience than they carry no weight what so ever..... no wonder that post came off so ignorant ...... you have little experince and knowledge then?

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 61

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:10:19 AM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

now if you and anyone else too my OPINIONS (hint the word opinions) to heart -

Since I am not a slave I cannot imagine why I would be heartfelt upset by your opinions

I do not respect all opinions equally btw.. for example I do not think much about the opinions of racist people either, and they can say exactly what you have "it's only an opinion"

Julia, you took the words right outta my mouth! I find it funny that the closed minded ones always think it is the rest of the population that need to open up their minds to be more narrow.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 62

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:14:41 AM

cillydom

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
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Submissiveness is a character trait, slave is an emotional state.
I think one is born with submissive traits but becomes a slave within the context of a relationship, the point being "becomes".
How or when that happens is hard to tell and she may not realize when, only afterward that it has happened.
As I believe becoming a slave is a process there is no discernable line that is crossed.
My working definition of a slave is any woman that needs the relationship so much she is willing to do most anything to preserve it. The kind of relationship is not the important thing just her need of it is. So a woman can be a slave in a nilla relationship as well as in a master/slave relationship.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 63

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:21:03 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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i have experience and knowledge - more than you'll ever know so i have a right like anyone else here to voice my opinions. or is that wrong too?

oh to responded to your close-minded opinion at least i have the guts to express how i truly think and feel. call me racist, ignorant fool etc. i particularly don't care. it doesn't effect and affect me one bit.

never asked the population to be more narrow just expand their range of thinking to consider all sides of the trapaziod and then decide for themselves with their own minds. what i see is many sheeple following the herd too afraid to think for themselves.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to BDSM05478)

Post #: 64

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:32:52 AM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

(hint flame away - i have a thicker skin than most).

*sighs*

anyone have some lighter fluid and a match?

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 65

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:37:27 AM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
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Or more than likely you see alot of people that disagree with your faulty resoning. Forgive me but I too am not bashfull to speak my mind and call a spade a spade. I am sure you have alot of experince in life just I do not think you know any slaves. For my experince I could take you pov and switch the titles cause all the subs I know would fit into you slave catagory but I am not arrogant enough to label ALL subs as lazy, shiftless, spineless and bitchy..... cause there are a few exceptions to all rules, even if those rules are delusional ones made up in our heads.

"Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and some of them stink"

edited to add: your pov is akin to those outsiders that say anyone that is a sub or slave is really a punk. IME if someone tried to punk an s/s they would find they have biten off more than they could chew........... It is about personality types. If someone is lazy naturally then they will still be lazy with in a relationship no matter what name that relationship is given. I personally think that people in LD D/s relationships are kidding themselves about the differences in being local compared to LD but hell if it works for them, who am I to judge?

< Message edited by BDSM05478 -- 2/28/2007 6:49:52 AM >

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 66

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:46:29 AM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
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Joy, thank you for putting that into a perspective that doesn't come naturally to me. I have always looked at it from the bottom half, that it was a term defined by the person who claims it. It never occured to me in terms of control inforced by the Top side, most definately something to think about.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 67

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 6:49:38 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have experience and knowledge - more than you'll ever know so i have a right like anyone else here to voice my opinions. or is that wrong too?

oh to responded to your close-minded opinion at least i have the guts to express how i truly think and feel. call me racist, ignorant fool etc. i particularly don't care. it doesn't effect and affect me one bit.

never asked the population to be more narrow just expand their range of thinking to consider all sides of the trapaziod and then decide for themselves with their own minds. what i see is many sheeple following the herd too afraid to think for themselves.

Well you need to know some slaves before you decide if we are all lowley and lack self esteem. You put it out there and now you have to answer for it. Once again many subs as well as slaves have low self esteem. Many Dominants do also. I do not have a low self esteem or need someone to constantly tell me how to live. I have my own mind and express it. I think for myself. My job is to obey Master and meet his needs before my own. I am independant , self motivated and very successfull in my job. Being a slave doesn't mean one is depedant on another. So just know your defintion of slaves or image of them is not the way it is for everyone. Your defintion can apply to anyone vanilla, D/s. M/s or whatever.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 68

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 8:51:26 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

Once again many subs as well as slaves have low self esteem. Many Dominants do also.

Many people suffer from low self esteem, and one of the biggest indicators of low self esteem in my experience (almost 39 years of it) is that the most insecure people have to devalue others in order to increase their own value in their mind. Hey, whatever works for them, right!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 69

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 9:17:40 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

Well you need to know some slaves before you decide if we are all lowley and lack self esteem.

classic assumption on you as well as the others. i know and have friends who are slaves in the literal and/or mental sense.

i stand by opinions and dare not change them to conform the norm that is. as not every D/s relationship is alike the other, then no two opinions will be either. as also stated this will be a neverending argument until the bloody cows come home and there won't be a set right/wrong answers that everyone here has to follow. - something everyone who commented about my opinions failed to realize.

flame away,BBBTBW, for i suspect i will be continuously singled from now until eternity.

oh well
c'est le vie

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 70

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 9:25:14 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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The more proudly people cling to a label, the more I tend to dismiss them.

I tend to dismiss slaves as overly demanding and filled with drama, people who identify as bottoms I have found to be level headed and quite obedient.

In real life, I can simply close my eyes and spot the SAMs, here I just look for those who have the most flowery profiles.

Again, all of this is a broad brush stroke and there are many exceptions but like any generalization, it is true more often than it isn't.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 71

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 10:06:23 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

my personal pov (flame away when i'm finished).

a submissive to me is a strong, self-motivated, successful, confident, high self-esteem, organized, goal-minded person who wouldn't work well in a micromanaged and/or TPE envirnonment. they seek to enhance and expand the gifts and talents already possessed and/or obtain more with guidance. they don't use words like "i think i deserve His love" because they already know they're loved. this description describes me.

a slave to me is someone who is clingy, less goal oriented, not so much motivated unless their Dom tells what to do and how to do it, unorganized and works best in a D/s relationship that involves task type of servitude and TPE. there's probably signs of low self-esteem and confidence. they hope someday to live up to their Master's expectations and earn his love.

as i stated earlier - my personal point of view. you may now flame away.

Very well put ;) Except I would change the "I think I desrve his love" to "I feel that I deserve his love"... but of coures that's just simantics.

Shylah

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Post #: 72

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 10:18:37 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

~Quicky~

Slave lives for me.
Sub lives for his/her agenda.

This definition works for you, but I am wondering, what if you both are living for a common dream? Ooopps, that is called marriage, huh

Somehow the title of the thread mislead me. Let me try again.

All you beyatches and ho's out there get readys for the one true and real way!

You skanky lil slave sluts live for me... that all of ya!

You nasty ass subs... live for me too!!

I don't know what to say to this one... If my impression is corect then you are a very closed minded, possably online only, "dom" who has no clue how D/s really is.

As a sub I can tell you that I live for no one but my self, Master has trained me that way and I fell that for me it is the right way.

That is of coures, if you're not just jokeing around.

Shylah

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RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 10:22:24 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
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Thank you all for your wonderful answers... I was very intrested to know how others thought on this topic.

The only disterbing thins that I have noticed were the people that were imeditaly hostial towards others for there points of view on the subject. I knew that this would possably be a touchy issue, but I was hoping that everyone would respect others points of view as much at thire owne. To much to ask?

Just because someone does not agree with you doesn't mean they're wrong or you're wrong... it just means you have diffrent ideas and that you probably shouldn't be in a relationship ;) lol.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 2/28/2007 10:24:10 AM >

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Post #: 74

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 10:26:21 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

FR....

To me a slave is property like a house, pet, car, etc with all of the implications of being someones owned property and a submissive is someone that submits typically within negotiated/heavily discussed parameters.

C~

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"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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(in reply to Shylahgirl)

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RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 11:05:09 AM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

as also stated this will be a neverending argument until the bloody cows come home and there won't be a set right/wrong answers that everyone here has to follow. - something everyone who commented about my opinions failed to realize.

Now wait just a minute. I went out of my way to be polite to you. I even asked a clarifying question to get a better understanding of how/why you feel the way you do with no implication of 'right or wrong' on anyone's part. For my effort, I got snarked at. At what point did you feel I deserved that sort of treatment?

I've read a lot of your posts on here, and for the most part I've respected them all, but all I've seen in this thread is you looking for a fight and striking out at anyone who taps you on the shoulder--friendly or not.

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 76

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 11:12:19 AM

bearincuffs

Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
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Glad to be able to offer my humble opinion. Probably best to try to read past the confusion and misinterrpreted opinions here and see the exact answers you were inquiring about. Though even here, north of the border, we have the same issue of views being mistakenly interpretted the wrong way or accidentally misconstrued. But such is human nature!

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 77

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 11:13:50 AM

Shylahgirl

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Joined: 8/28/2006
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Why does there have to be an argument at all?

If you don't respont to the negitive coments made about you thoughts then who really wins or looses.

In an argument there is never a winner, since it takes so much of your energy to win. So, why start a back and forth negativity stream in the first place?

Shylah

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Post #: 78

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 11:16:50 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Why does there have to be an argument at all?

If you don't respont to the negitive coments made about you thoughts then who really wins or looses.

In an argument there is never a winner, since it takes so much of your energy to win. So, why start a back and forth negativity stream in the first place?

Shylah

Ok, what if someone told you switches tended to be confused people unsuitable for long term relationships because they cannot decide who they are? Would that be just some sort of passing opinion to you, or would you feel judged by that?

BTW, I do not think that about switches at all, I am just noting that since you do not identify as a slave perhaps you could identify with the slams that some made on switches since you may have heard them (I have read people who actually say these things about switches and I find them full of hubris and I do not respect those opinions either)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 79

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? - 2/28/2007 11:21:11 AM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline

Who's arguing? If I don't understand something someone has said, I'll ask for clarification to gain understanding. It's better for me than working off of assumptions. I've never known this to be a bad thing. Although, I'm really starting to wonder at this point...

Edit: These were my posts:

quote:

ust a question:

What in your experiences has fostered these impressions you have about those who identify as slave?

And the extended version:

quote:

I think you've misunderstood the question. I'm not asking you to justify your opinion or point of view, nor did I say you have to have a certain amount of experience before forming opinions. I'm just wondering if there has been something in your experiences with those who identify as slaves (if any) that has fostered your view of them. Maybe there wasn't; maybe it was an opinion that sprung up fully formed from nothing...How'm I to know if I don't ask?

< Message edited by valeca -- 2/28/2007 11:30:47 AM >

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

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