RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you on here, that turn you OFF?

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RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 5:16:54 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RWAble

But what about the ones that don't approach? Won't see no way to do it. The shy ones? You miss out on so much.

Doubtful, if they dont approach and we dont see them come up anywhere, we dont miss what we didnt know was there in the first place. However, these ultra shy ones are ikely also not going to be the ones saying or demainding things in their initial (or any other) emails that will turn us off right away.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to RWAble)

Post #: 41

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 6:09:23 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

See the idea that someone could turn me on or turn me off via one email is really strange to me.

I don't think of those who send me notes as "types" or "categories" because I try to take each note as it is.

In general I never say "yes" or "no" but instead ask a return question. If the person clearly does not live within easy driving distance of me, I ask how they will change that. If they clearly haven't read my profile, I say "please read my profile".

So far those people who just simply do not write back to me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 42

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 8:34:27 AM

GoddessKai

Posts: 119
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Hazel Park, Michigan
Status: offline

"Will you pop my balls with your high heels Mistress?"
Can we say no? Come on now, don't be a dumbass.

"Send pictures of your feet."
Even if I took pictures of my feet, I wouldn't send them out so they can be your jerkoff material.

"Do you seek a full toilet slave? I am experienced in golden, roman and brown showers."
Uh.. gross. Just.. no. NO. I said NO.

When asked what skills a slave has to bring to the table that will differentiate them from the other dozens of like-minded messages I get each day, the slave/sub has nothing to say, or comes off with one of their kinks or by telling me they've never had their asshole plundered. I don't care if you're an anal virgin... do you do windows? ;)

The typical "blackmail me" messages.

Those that demand my AOL/Yahoo/MSN names.

Subs that hope to catch my attention with lists of what they will and will not do for me, to make me happy.

Any sub that expects me to drop everything on a dime just to reply to their endless messages that usually consist of asking "what I would do to them."

Subs that seem alright at first, and then one of their kinks turns quickly into an obsession and they won't shut up about it. Every other word out of their mouth has something to do with the aforementioned kink/obsession and their world revolves around it completely. This is especially annoying when I've told them that I'm not interested in such a kink. Guh. GET THE PICTURE.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 43

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 10:46:21 AM

MissTreatinyou

Posts: 11
Joined: 11/18/2005
Status: offline

I personally can get turned off by someone's chosen screen name alone. Like anyone with 69 as part of their name unless they really did happen to be born in that year.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 44

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 11:17:06 AM

TravelingDomme

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline

Those that cannot or will not read. Despite being told I am not a member of the lonely hearts club they wish to tell Me of how they would want an "exclusive" relationship.

Those that wish to top from the bottom
Those that make reference to sexually pleasing Me (how would they know what pleases Me)

_____________________________

Check my calendar on my website at www.sensual-alexis.com for my travel schedule.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 45

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 2:53:56 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RWAble

Hum....makes one wonder why they even bother. To get lost in the many folds of humanity. A true servant, does so in and out of the lifestyle. It's not a game, it is what they are. They are happy to do so in their daily life, because it gives them the pleasure they seek in giving. Thus they hide in the forest. Waiting for the One to claim them. The One with more knowledge about how they feel, than themselves.

If they are hiding in the forest, then they aren't bothering to try.

This isn't a game to us either, and I honestly have no idea why you seem to think that it is. This is who and what we are - every day, every night, at work, at home, at the grocery store, visiting friends and relatives, etc. And we still aren't going to go out into the "forest" very often ... we want someone who is brave enough and sure enough of himself to come out into the meadow once in awhile.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to RWAble)

Post #: 46

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 4:00:56 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

These sorts of messages you note, GoddessKai, don't turn me on or off -- that's investing too much emotional energy in an email from a stranger.

And I can't remember the last time I got such an email. Not sure why but most of the notes I get aren't this vulgar.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to GoddessKai)

Post #: 47

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 4:10:52 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

I'm a dominant though and it doesn't stand for what I think you are meaning,,,,,am I ok?

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to MissTreatinyou)

Post #: 48

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 4:19:03 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

I'm a dominant though and it doesn't stand for what I think you are meaning,,,,,am I ok?

Oh, sweet Lady K! I needed to smile. Thank you!

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 49

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 4:39:11 PM

DianeB269

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

That's what I was thinking when I read his message.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ineedotk

"Subs" that tell you what they are going to do to you don't really sound like subs to me. More like desparate little boys trying to get your attention.

(in reply to ineedotk)

Post #: 50

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 4:50:52 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

Good to see you Dusty. Everyone needs to smile!!! Don't forget, if you ever need to hear funny stories or to vent, call me!!!!

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 51

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 5:55:17 PM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

I think the ladies here have covered just about every thing I don't like to hear
from a submissive.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 52

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 9:33:06 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I love all the posts here and seeing new posters!
Hello MsRose, I hope to see you post more often!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MsRose)

Post #: 53

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 9:38:13 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Thank you for all the wonderful responses ladies!!
I actually thought I had heard them all, but I heard a few new ones tonight!
Whoppeeee!
I will say, for those of us that have not made our D/s match, it can happen.
Maybe a few submissive men will read this thread, and not make these mistakes!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

Post #: 54

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/19/2007 11:20:49 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

One wrote to me tonight and said at the close of his introductory letter, "I require a picture as I have met enough TV's and males posing as femdoms....just so I can be sure...even with a pic. one can never be sure."

He did not include a picture with his response, nor was there one on his profile. There of course is nothing wrong with asking for a Domme's picture, if worded in a polite, respectful, and non-demanding manner. I didn't like his attitude and didn't write back.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 55

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/20/2007 4:57:00 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Yesterday a sub wrote to me that he was a young, fit and good looking

I replied "Why are you single?"

His reply was short and sweet.

"Because I enjoy it"

OK......is it just me being picky or was that a really dumb way to attract the interest of a Dominant woman?

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 56

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/20/2007 5:06:31 AM

GoddessKai

Posts: 119
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Hazel Park, Michigan
Status: offline

In response to thetammyjo:

It's not that I invest much time in them in the first place, it's just that I'm disgusted with the way they approach a woman. ANY woman, Dominant or submissive.

Usually these messages are met with the question "Would you want a man talking like that to your mother or sister?" If the answer is no, then don't do it.

I may be a Domina, but that doesn't mean I like being treated like a whore from someone I've never met before that first message. The rudeness is apalling, because many of them are serious and generally expect a reply.

Oh, as a sidenote, I especially like the "subs" that message me for a first time and tell me I'm fake. Never before have I spoken with them, they know nothing about me aside from what my profile states, and I'm fake. And it's usually because I'm a BBW.
"ur not a reel mistress ur to fat"
Right, as if being a fat chick is going to make me drop to my knees in submission.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 57

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/20/2007 5:15:18 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I dont think its turned on or off as much as disinterested very quickly. I believe a first email is a first impression. If someone is going to make the move to email me in the first place, Id expect them to put their absolute best foot forward. What I should be seeing is the best effort they have to look good and set themselves apart. If some of these notes are the best they can do, then I see really very little reason to hope it is going to get better later on. I will forgive siliness that comes from nerves for a first email, but I will not forgive rudeness or demands. I get enough polite, sweet and properly constructed emails that I dont need to bother with the ones who are nasty, demanding and too lazy to write out the words in their sentences to impress their would-be new contact.

but thats just me
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to GoddessKai)

Post #: 58

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/20/2007 7:16:52 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Yes, RWAble, it can be extremely difficult to find ... someone who views servitude the same way the dominant does ...

Most submissives I know love to have someone clean our house, cook our meals, and run errands for us while we are tired. So, I would say we do view it the same way.

quote:

Tammyjo: See the idea that someone could turn me on or turn me off via one email is really strange to me.

I don't think of those who send me notes as "types" or "categories" because I try to take each note as it is.

In general I never say "yes" or "no" but instead ask a return question. If the person clearly does not live within easy driving distance of me, I ask how they will change that. If they clearly haven't read my profile, I say "please read my profile".

So far those people who just simply do not write back to me.

The real reward is in meeting people F2F. It adds to our experience, it makes coffee taste better, and typically one learns something about himself and others. B/C this is your orientation in meeting others, you don't find yourself disappointed in trifles. You are very sensible in this regard.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 3/20/2007 7:23:38 AM >

(in reply to MsD)

Post #: 59

RE: What "type" of submissive's approach you ... - 3/20/2007 10:40:44 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

I just got another one that "rubbed me the wrong way." The guys used the term "dear" three times in his introductory letter. Now as a salutation, dear is fine, as in "Dear MysticFireTopaz." Other than that, I don't think it's appropriate, e.g. "I think we'd be a great match, dear," "Looking forward to hearing from you soon, dear," "You sound absolutely wonderful, dear." The same holds true of other overly familiar terms such as "honey" or "sweetheart."

Now I do know of some established couples where the submissive is permitted to call the Domme "dear," and have no problem with that if it works for them, but in an introductory letter???

Lady Topaz

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 60

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