RE: Why is age such a big deal?

RE: Why is age such a big deal? (Full Version)

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imtempting -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/5/2005 7:14:28 PM)
Well if its only play id go for nearly any age but since im mainly after someone for a one on one relationship that I could potentially spend the rest of my life with id want someone within 8 years of my age.

subsapphire -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/5/2005 8:09:57 PM)
Time will generally take care of any problems related to being too young. Unfortunately, the same can't always be said of the correlation between time and maturity. That being said, I have been involved with those 10 years younger to 15 years older but wouldn't rule out those outside of that range simply because of a number (assuming the other person has reached the age of majority). Factors such as common life experiences, education, values, humor and intellect are much more important to me than age.

testlimit -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/5/2005 9:27:35 PM)
I'm not sure which side of this issue I come down on. On the one hand I'm really only attracted to women who are around my general age (I am a little more leniant toward the younger end of the spectrum, merely because I find that's who I get along with better ATM). It's not a hard and fast rule, there have been women 10-15 years older than I, that I found quite alluring (I usually stick to around 5 years older). On the other hand I can't help being frustrated by the prospect that I'm being dismissed merely based on my age. If anything the predominant vibe I've gotten in the lifestyle is that subs are more strongly inclined toward older Doms (as many such statements go, that is a sweeping generalization and by no means neccessarily indicative of reality, but it's the impression I get [also as I'm sure those of you coming across my occasional post are realizing, I tend to write in alot of asides]). While I can understand some of the drives behind this, as it's working against me, I can't help but resent it, just a little. I also have a similar view of Doms "collecting" submissives, and the numbers of such on personals sites such as this. While I can see a good Dom, "spreading the love" so to speak, it does somewhat limit the field for those of us not so lucky as to have stumbled across the right combination yet. sorry, went off on a little tangent there....I was trying to feel out a possible connection recently only to be informed of her intrests lying elsewhere. Nothing to do with the lifestyle but it gets me in a certain frame of mind.

lovingmaster45 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/6/2005 4:34:03 AM)
quote: I am 53 and my girl is 19...she has posted here...and we get along wonderfully. She sometimes seeks my advice and I'm glad to give it, but I'm not constantly "imparting my great wisdom" to her. With us, it's just a very natural thing. In all ways it's like we were meant for each other and there just happens to be this huge age differential. We're not blind to it. We've discussed it extensively. Our discussions before we got seriously involved were particularly deep, in fact. But here we are, and I am very very happy about it! I am with DesertRat on this one. I am 60; my wife is 40; sub #1 is 21; sub # 2 is 50. All of us are strong people and none of us is in need of anyone else to impart "great wisdom" but we are all in need of each other for the different perspectives of the other. I am a retired USC sociologist; my wife has her advancerd degree in Environmental Resource Management; danielle runs her own graphic design business; s is a retired executive from Sony. There are no slackards here; just people who find joy in each other and FUN with this lifestyle. All three women look to me for guidance; not as the fountain of all that is good and wise. Oh yeah; and they all try to fuck me to death...lol.

punnishme -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/10/2005 7:06:48 PM)
I am a 20 year old submissive who has been enjoying this lifestyle now for two years non stop. My Master is older but not too old for me to not be attracted to Him. I see Him like a lover, like my Master, and also like a father figure that I have never had in my life. Months ago I figured out that this Man who I have called Master for two years now reminds me so much of the man that I loved and cherrished the person that I think of when I think of my childhood that person being my grandfather. One day He will eventually release me but the feelings I have for Him as well as the great respect I have for Him will never leave me. This man has shown me how to be the slave that I want to be, He has shown me what my life vanilla and kinky should be and I could never thank Him enough. For those of you older men who would like the opportunity of teaching those of us who are younger to become the submissives and slaves that are fantasies and even our personalities have enticed us to become I wish you the best of luck and I would not ever put you down unless I had a reason and at this very moment, time and place I do not. Infact I would highly recomend to girls and women my age that a partnership with someone older and more experience would be in their best interest if this was something that they knew or even believed in a slight possibility that this lifestyle was for them. Good luck to all

dechala -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/10/2005 7:20:45 PM)
i always try to reply politely to every email and i have my preferences and what i'm looking for specifically outlined on my profile.But everyones different and they have thier own preferences.Some just don't prefer such a wide age gap but i've seen some here that actually want an older Dom/me or sub.It's just all about what floats your boat.

OsideGirl -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/10/2005 9:03:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordBennett Especially the younger members who are just getting into the lifestyle. Don't they realize that an older partner is more likely to have a lot more experience and could train them better and then release them to find whomever they want. What is really rediculous is when you email someone to say good luck or congratulations and they do not even read it because you are of the wrong sex for them or you are too old for them. They miss out on positive emails that way and why? My feeling is that I will have very little in common with someone that is too many years older than I am.

slavedesires -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/11/2005 6:12:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordBennett Especially the younger members who are just getting into the lifestyle. Don't they realize that an older partner is more likely to have a lot more experience and could train them better and then release them to find whomever they want. What is really rediculous is when you email someone to say good luck or congratulations and they do not even read it because you are of the wrong sex for them or you are too old for them. They miss out on positive emails that way and why? In younger girls with little or no expereince, i think it is their vanilla mind set...eek! he's the age of my grandad! Master always says...their loss. Because of the closemindedness. Will they learn? Maybe. What i personally am not really "in to" is the word EXPERIENCE. It means relatively nothing to me. If i have a session, with my man's consent, with an expreinced dom and the negotiations are NOT adhered to, what expereince are they talking about? On the other hand, i also think most young girls have no idea what they seek at that age, no matterwaht they put on their profile while some mature 18 year olds know exactly what they seek... while other older subs might just romantacize the lifestyle becasue of past issues with men. Instead of "hanging up" why not ask questions, explore and be open. Yes a conundrum for sure. Many closeminded people in this lifestyle. ~~shy

pleasureforHim -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/11/2005 8:53:58 AM)
i am 51..will soon be 52..and so have some life experience. The man my age who seeks and finds a woman aged in her tweens or twenties is invariably frightened. What he will say is "i feel younger with her". But what actually happened is he was with his wife or a woman my age and lost his erection..or could not get it up like he once could...or a parent died..or something else triggered the panic in him..and he seeks to suck the youth from his little girl like a vampire. It may work, on some level, but to me, the girl has always seemed exploited. i do say "invariably". So i expect to hear from some May/December couples that i am wrong, wrong, wrong. Does not matter. On the 'net, You can claim anything; in real life i have a great deal of experience with this phenoneum and i stand by what i have said. As for girls "chosen" by men old enough to be their daddy; i say, beware. Your tweens and twenties are a period of your life in which you are intended to struggle and find yourself; form a whole personality; a world view; a character. You will be unable to do so as intended with someone so much older in control of you. You will be isolated from your peers in subtle ways. You may miss out on college altogether. Finally, i my experience, he never wants to remarry or have more children -- dreams of most girls. It's very difficult to see what the older man costs the younger woman, but the price is very high. pleasureforHim

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/11/2005 9:04:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pleasureforHim The man my age who seeks and finds a woman aged in her tweens or twenties is invariably frightened. Are you capable of making a post without making at least one sweeping horrendously negatively WRONG generalization? quote: in real life i have a great deal of experience with this phenoneum and i stand by what i have said. It certainly does happen. I certainly don't MIND being a piece of hot young arm candy for someone older either- since I know that's not nearly ALL of who I am to them. quote: You will be unable to do so as intended with someone so much older in control of you. Not true. quote: You will be isolated from your peers in subtle ways. Not true, the Owner encourages me to make friends and socialize with people more my age. quote: You may miss out on college altogether. I'd expect a dominant to have exceedingly good reason to tell his slave to end a college career. quote: Finally, i my experience, he never wants to remarry or have more children -- dreams of most girls. Well, some men DO want to remarry and have more children, and some girls like me DONT want to marry or have children. See beyond your box. quote: It's very difficult to see what the older man costs the younger woman, but the price is very high. pleasureforHim Since the average relationship I've ever had is with someone 12-20 years older than me, I can say, it's simply how it works out for me. I was more shocked than anyone when the boyfriend (who is 21) was so attractive to me and I became so connected with him. Age does matter, no denying that. There are challenges to age distance relationships. And yes, many older men simply are looking for a hot young arm candy piece. But not all. And as long as you understand who they are and understand the compatibility, it can be fine. Like anything else, age is a preference. Some people hate smokers, some people hate children, some people hate the west coast. Find what works for you.

ricanmami678 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/11/2005 9:46:23 AM)
yes a older person would be able to teach them better but alot of it is they are new and theya re scared thats like being scared of heights and going for the top at begining of there venture to help them so alot of start with some who is not as extreme

dominmd -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/11/2005 3:16:26 PM)
I believe that if both the Dom and the sub are that into each other marriage and children are a possibility. But both have to be willing to do this. Could I care for anyone younger than me, sure, as long as she is over 18. Older people (I am 30) have more experience both in life and in bed. While we have to learn each new partner, the experience will show. As a older person I can guide someone younger through life so they don't have to make the same mistakes that we all do. Again it is more about commitment, love, caring, respect than any thing else.

SophiaBelle -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/11/2005 4:52:27 PM)
Mm. I agree on and off with most of the people here- as all of them have presented their feelings well. Most importantly, I agree with their feelings because honestly, they are the only people they apply to- thus, they are right for them. Personally, I do not have an age preference as of yet. Notably though, I am not looking for a partner. I am very up front about this in both my profile and my journal, as well, I believe in my posts. So, when an older gentlemen message me- I always read them. The same with younger gentlement. I respond in kind between the two. When the person is clearly coming on to me- and thus, not respecting my relationship- I admit, I will often not respond. I find it a little insulting. If they are polite, I may gently turn them down. If the person is wishing me well or inviting me to be their friend, I will of course respond- and have made quite a few marvellous friends this way. I am immensely content with the feeling of support I have right now. On a related note- my father is 15 years my stepmother's senior. They have a good, and from what I can see, healthy relationship. Similarly my stepfather is 10 years my mother's senior, and my father was 11 years my mother's senior. To me, though it seems a little odd, I do believe once you get out of your twenties, these things do not matter as much. I know I'm sort of rambling, but if I was not engaged in a relationship- I am not positive I would date a dramatically older man. I am in deep period of self discovery, and someone much older might be a hindrance. Similarly, they might be a great help- but I don't know if I'd take that risk. It is much more difficult to develope who I am than I had thought it would be. My current other has not hit this period yet- but he is allowing me pretty free growth, which is good. Anyway, if anyone can tell me the point of that whole post, they deserve an award in ciphering.

fnswart318 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/11/2005 8:04:43 PM)
I got tired of training a long time ago. Now I want a woman who can throw me down and give me a proper f@@@. Since then the youngest woman I have been with is thirty two (I'm twenty four). I have even picked up a fifty something. Age equals experiance.

slavedesires -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/12/2005 10:33:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pleasureforHim As for girls "chosen" by men old enough to be their daddy; i say, beware. Your tweens and twenties are a period of your life in which you are intended to struggle and find yourself; form a whole personality; a world view; a character. You will be unable to do so as intended with someone so much older in control of you. You will be isolated from your peers in subtle ways. You may miss out on college altogether. Finally, i my experience, he never wants to remarry or have more children -- dreams of most girls. It's very difficult to see what the older man costs the younger woman, but the price is very high. pleasureforHim I will need to disagree gf, but not entirely. Yes this can and does happen...it even happens to older women. I remember one forum poster with breast cancer abandoned by her dom, she was older. wtf is that nonsense? But to categorically across the board say all older doms or even dommes will do this to submissives between 18 and 29 is just not fair. There are many who seek to make sure a girl/boy is educated, has a healthy self esteen, self confidence, their own job, their own friends, and the ability to have their own desires of marriage or children. Poly households need to face these issues before they come together. "It's very difficult to see what the older man costs the younger woman, but the price is very high." I really do not understand this statement. Honesty, trust, respect, communication and choice of all parties involved is imperative. ~~Shy

Lordandmaster -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/12/2005 11:51:56 PM)
I insist that a prospective sub be less than 150 years old. Otherwise I'm just not interested. Sorry, but it's my opinion and like I'm entitled to it. (Trying very hard to impersonate a dumass without using those dreaded caps.)

lonewolf05 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/13/2005 2:11:15 AM)
thought i had a response in here. that's what i get for being up at 4 am. age in some ways, should not be a factor. but in some it should. i used to bitch piss and moan about some dommes looking for those young boys when the ones i talked to were my age bracket. seemed pretty selfish. but i waited, and talked to a few, and discovered, the long term IS more beneficial with younger guys. not just in years, but stamina and flexibility. and again, some of us just cannot relate to someone too young. i could not be with a domme too young. i met one in real time, that was young enough to be my daughter. a bit TOO young. i want a woman, grown up, not a kid i have to raise. so i guess, it does depend. and of course, there is the sterotype of a dirty old man of 50 something looking for some young thing about 20 or so. makes me wonder. but that is, a stereotype. many are not old fat men looking for something they shouldn't have. i actually met a couple, in real time, that were nice guys, and by chance had subs less than half their age, but you couldn't tell coz the girls were mature enough in their head to know what life is about and those 2 couples are doing strong as i type. i am happy for them. so what is all this jabber mean? i guess, each case 1 by 1 and see if there is some kind of chemistry? and that, yet, is something, "i" have not found. i have not felt any "chemistry" with anyone since i was 16. oh gawd. i feel real old now. i have a proxy daughter about 25 now. oh my. the wolf

lovingmaster45 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/13/2005 4:34:00 AM)
quote: The man my age who seeks and finds a woman aged in her tweens or twenties is invariably frightened. pleasureforHim, I am personally offended by this. In fact most of your post shows an intolerance for age differences that I find offensive. If you look at my life and your statements; everything I do is "wrong", and will not work. Emerald slave has met me and my "family" and can tell you it has/does/and continues to "work". In fact her post pretty well sums up my reaction to your post. I hope you find a man your age who perfectly fits your narrow definition of what a proper relationship should be. We will stick to what works for us.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/13/2005 5:24:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45 Emerald slave has met me and my "family" and can tell you it has/does/and continues to "work". Heh, first time I saw you guys at the Woodshed I thought you were a typical over-arrogant dom with a harem of chicks. After really seeing you guys over time I see how it fits in together very well and happily.

pleasureforHim -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (7/13/2005 6:14:15 AM)
color=#CC0099] quote: "It's very difficult to see what the older man costs the younger woman, but the price is very high." I really do not understand this statement. First..let me offer an apology to LovingMaster. i did generalize, which means i caught the good with the bad, and for that reason, i was wrong in what i said. i offended a real person here, and that was not my intent. Let me explain, LovingMaster, Sir. i spoke from real life experiences which are filled with sorrow and pain and suffering.....and i have certainly not taken the time to get to know You and therefor should not have made a statement that could have been taken as applicable to You. i do hope You will accept my apology. Slavedesires..a girl in her tweens or twenties does not (generally) have a fully-formed personality or character. She lacks a measure of personal power that older people have. She lacks life experience. GENEALLY, a girl this age in a relationship with a man aged in his 40's or 50's is going to be somewhat isolated from her peers; take her viewpoint from him; stop exploring as much as she would if she were unattached or dating a man/boy her own age..etc. That is what i meant when i said such girls lose something valuable. i know...because i married a man 10 years older than i when i was only 20...and never felt i could disagree with him since i had nothing on which to base an opinion. There were other, darker, problms, in the marriage, but i came away feeling i had missed a developmental stage and had to experience in my 30's what i should have done in my 20's. As i aged, and grew to be friends with people, i would see married men walk away from marriages of 20 years..and begin dating women in their tweens and twenties. (These men also tried to hide assests from their wives in the divorce, even though minor children remained at home. i know, because they called me for help in perpetrating this fraud -- which i refused them.) This is the trend that sparked my comments about the "frightened man", LovingMaster. Again, please accept my apologies. i think, as a rule, i need to be more sensitive in writing on the boards so as not to catch the dolphins with the tuna. pleasureforHim [/font]

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