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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 12:33:28 PM   
Vistasub


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		Your are looking at it the right way , if you ask me.

(in reply to pauvis)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 12:39:53 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		You know, it's real easy to yell at a sub and punish her. It's a lot harder to teach her how to do something, frequently breaking the task down into smaller steps until she can master it, and it's a rare dom who pays sufficient attention to his sub so that he can give positive reinforcement at the moment it most needs to be given.

That, imo, is both kind and effective.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 1:13:36 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		I have found that what works for You does just that . There is nothing set in  stone here . I tend to be a kind caring Master , yet I can be harsh if need be as well . so depending on what works for  You and Your`s go for it and enjoy . There is nothing wrong with showing Your submissive respect and kindness . It seems that alot Of Masters have been sterotyped into being theese cruel mean creatures which is by far Not true . Masters are just that Masters . One must learn to Master Himself before even attempting to try and Master another .. ~ Smiles ~ just My 2 cents worth. !!!

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 1:38:22 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pauvis

I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master? I am not the complete humiliating, degregating type of Master. I prefer to control with kindness. Everyone has heard the old phrase you catch more bees with honey. Is this true, or am I just looking at everything the wrong way?


You can be any kind of master you want, and I hope you will.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to pauvis)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 3:57:44 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

If your image of a "master" is the stereotype seen in bad porn and some TV shows of this mean, angry person who is constantly verbally beating the submissive down... that's bullshit, plain and simple.


Yeah...I blame BDSM porn and erotic stories for questions like these.

One of the biggest obstacles you have to face in the beginning of "this thing" is learning to look at a M/S relationship in a realistic and down to earth perspective.

I also wholeheartely concur with everything you have said.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 7:29:56 PM   
NightWindWhisper


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		1. kindness - the quality of being warm-hearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic From the Free Dictionary

It isn't "wrong" to be a kind Master.  However if it is the submissive's style to desire a humiliating, degregating type of master there is somewhat a mismatch.  True, since the submissive wants to be humiliated it cannot really be considerate and sympathetic, on the surface and therefore is not kind treatment.  But beneath, I think that it must be still a form of kindness, and if not, ultimately I believe that the relationship will not last.  In such cases the humiliation and degradation may be a restimulation of early abuse, and can be emotionally dangerous for the submissive and very dangerous for the "master."  In such cases it is not unusual for the person who is restimulating to all of a sudden equate the consensual interaction with an earlier abusive action, and call the police.  If there are any marks that are visible, the "master" in this case would likely be arrested.

But this is an extreme example and I think more often, those who want to be humiliated still end up, at the end of the night (or scene, or whatever) back in a kind, loving state.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 10:27:47 PM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		 
I believe that sincere kindness, compassion, and caring, are of value as a Master, and do not attribute to any lack of assertiveness to control or discipline.
No two relationships or people are exactly alike. Just as one may be kind, and another not. Some at times both in varied balance, I feel the D/s dynamic will be unique for each.
In my opinion it is only wrong for me to portray someone I am not. Wrong towards another, and wrong for the relationship.

< Message edited by szobras -- 3/25/2007 10:33:29 PM >

(in reply to pauvis)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/25/2007 11:49:21 PM   
SimplyTrue


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		Nope.  Not all of us what to be used and treated poorly. 

(in reply to pauvis)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/26/2007 12:37:51 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Its what Ownedgirlie was trying to get across to you, and its also why I chose my tag line.


Thank you for understanding my point, Padriag.

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/26/2007 7:39:14 AM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		i dont think any one wants to be treated poorly, they want to be treated in a way that fulfills them and if you think they are being treated poorly then you may not see whats really taking place

(in reply to SimplyTrue)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/26/2007 7:40:57 AM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		most any master is kind to the apptopriate subbie

(in reply to pauvis)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/26/2007 7:46:38 AM   
MasterC38


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		If it works for you, go for it. Why question it? I personally am both. Kind and Cruel. I care when they have problems, but I am VERY harsh when need be. Also, no two subs or slaves are exactly alike. some NEED harshness. some prefer kindness. you have to balance it to the sub, for best effect. I think it is admirable that you prefer kindness. those that are only cruel are usually monsters in the guise of Men, and thier girls are usually doormats.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/26/2007 8:12:55 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah you can be kind.  In fact I think you will find that although it is a lot easier to be an asshole all the time it will probably leave you pretty lonley.  The idea isnt to read all this shit and decide that you want a realationship like the ones on the boards.... you form the relationship you want then use sources of information like these bored to gain knowledge of making your relationship beter and more satisfying. I personaly have a tendency to lean twords the Shaun Connery --- James Bond type because I love the roles so hence I am more likely to be spanking my girl in a suit than anything else but I do run out of politeness very quickly. Its also fun using words like please because you would be surprised at how easily a sub will move from position to position withouth thinking like on your knees please with a slight tug of the leash she will be on the ground in no time... you can then roughen things up as the scene continues.  Even a dinner date can move from romatic dinner to the sub being strapped to the top of a table having iced champaign shot out all over her.  Be yourself.... do what you like and use your sub to the fullest and you will find that the sub will adjust.....

(in reply to MasterC38)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/26/2007 9:02:24 PM   
hawkwolf7


Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		I, for one, am very kind outside the dungeon, (which doesn't keep me from being firm when required). On the other hand, I simply don't play nice in the dungeon. Pick what works for you, then find someone who wants the same thing.

(in reply to pauvis)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/27/2007 2:17:20 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

pauvis
I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master?

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with being kind, Master or not

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to pauvis)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/27/2007 2:36:56 AM   
redsky


Posts: 228
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		i am very shy & soft spoken, i dont think i could be happy with a hard/harsh Master, i prefer a li'l kindness.

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(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/27/2007 6:45:58 PM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		The first thing you must understand and respect is too be yourself! You can't be something you're not. If you try to be someone your not you'll find it will be difficult  maintain it for a long time. Be true to yourself by being who you are. Much success.

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Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to redsky)
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RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/27/2007 10:39:17 PM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		an unkind master will not be a happy one. one should be tuff but fair... and loving in ones own unique way

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/28/2007 3:30:23 PM   
adanaydi


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pauvis

I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master? I am not the complete humiliating, degregating type of Master. I prefer to control with kindness. Everyone has heard the old phrase you catch more bees with honey. Is this true, or am I just looking at everything the wrong way?



this is the type of Master who draws her to him like a magnet... BUT, having said this, a girl must offer she also needs his guidence... a Dominant that comes on too soft is as big of a turn off to this one as one who comes on too hard and cruel. As a wise one once told this one, "You will come to my hand, and I will keep you there." Meaning, this girl needed to feel him surround her, and sometimes needed that little squeeze to keep her on her toes and knowing he cared enough about her to see that she was the best she could be.

this one is totally honest with herself... a "sugar Daddy type" this one would have HIM eating out of HER hand in no time flat... she wouldn't even do it consciously... with those types of Masters, this one is constantly telling herself to stay submissive, stay where she needs to be, etc... It gets to the point where a whispered wish from here is granted every time by the Master, and this one is bored, spoiled, and wanting more out of life.

There are ways of being kind AND keeping this one in his hand, and when that happens, she totally melts, and the bond and love she has for that Master just multiplies tenfold each day.

ada.


_____________________________

ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

(in reply to pauvis)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 3/28/2007 4:12:21 PM   
bayboundse


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/29/2005
From: Oak Ridge, TN
Status: offline 		Its not wrong to be kind nor is is it wrong to be mean and hard. The perspective you need to look from is what type of relationship you are in and what all parties are seeking.

(in reply to adanaydi)
Profile   Post #: 40
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