RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master?

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 5 [6]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/16/2009 1:01:48 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

You gotta be cruel to be kind,
in the right measure,

Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign,

and so on.

P.S. Don't listen to country

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 101

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/16/2009 2:47:53 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pauvis

I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master? I am not the complete humiliating, degregating type of Master. I prefer to control with kindness. Everyone has heard the old phrase you catch more bees with honey. Is this true, or am I just looking at everything the wrong way?

Greetings pauvis:

You asked “Is it wrong to be a kind Master?” IMO --- Obviously no! If a man is naturally kind towards who he decides to enslave then without reserve he will naturally be the man he is while he “kindly” enslaves who he chooses to enslave.

Hopefully he has mastered within himself the ability to effectively do such or else in some situations kindness can be interpreted as weakness and not appreciated as a strength that a man possesses.

In the long term a man is who he is and if he is kind then naturally this trait will not change due to the opinions’ of others. What is natural for a man is irreversibly natural.

The key is to not allow what is natural to be inverted by those who view it as a weakness or else the outcome is in vain. IMO

I wish you well,
~Zevar~

< Message edited by Zevar -- 7/16/2009 2:51:28 PM >

(in reply to pauvis)

Profile

Post #: 102

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/17/2009 5:05:20 AM

blackeagle58

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline

In my opinion , a master is not obliged to shape his actions in behalf of his slave..Being kind is not a word that suits D/S relatıons...I may care my slave , get involved with his problems but when I dominate him , will never intend to be kind ....When I have my slave under my feet , under my control , he has to see the darkness in my eyes and I have to see the fear in his soul and mind ...Can you imagine a master calling his slave like this : " my dear one , will you be so kind to get under my feet ? I am gonna whip you hard if you dont mind ? " ....A D/S relatıon has to be lived as it has to be ....

(in reply to Zevar)

Profile

Post #: 103

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/17/2009 1:01:42 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackeagle58

In my opinion , a master is not obliged to shape his actions in behalf of his slave..Being kind is not a word that suits D/S relatıons...I may care my slave , get involved with his problems but when I dominate him , will never intend to be kind ....When I have my slave under my feet , under my control , he has to see the darkness in my eyes and I have to see the fear in his soul and mind ...Can you imagine a master calling his slave like this : " my dear one , will you be so kind to get under my feet ? I am gonna whip you hard if you dont mind ? " ....A D/S relatıon has to be lived as it has to be ....

full of BS?

Personally, I think you are full of it. But hey, if you are indeed satisfied living your D/s life that way..........coolio. However, not ALL D/s or M/s relationSHIPS work this way. If I told a girl "my dear, will you be so kind as to crawl to my feet." she would know it was a command, regardless.

Not that I actually talk like that mind you, just pointing out that it's all about context.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to blackeagle58)

Profile

Post #: 104

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/17/2009 1:08:51 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackeagle58

In my opinion , a master is not obliged to shape his actions in behalf of his slave..

Nope, he (or she) is not. He would be well served, however, if he knew how to get the best out of his slave, understanding her emotional and intellectual make up, her desires, and the best way to reach into her mind.

You present two extremes here and life is not so black and white. Is there no flexibility with you? No middle ground? Simply darkness and fear? That would leave me a withered and depressed spirit. Funny though, a simple "Come here, dear" with his finger pointing at his feet had me happily there in a split second.

I suppose the difference is you want a fearful slave and he wants a happy slave. To each his own. There's time and place for fear and other intensities, but if that was all he created, I would find him one dimensional.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to blackeagle58)

Profile

Post #: 105

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/17/2009 6:20:39 PM

MasterMatty

Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

'Wrong' is not correct word that should be used here // There is not right or wrong went it comes be been a Dom, it is what ever works for you // Whatever makes you feel comfortable and in control of the play and of course it also depends on the sub that you ate playing with // Some sub's like to be treated like dirt and others like kittens and then others who want both which is always fun

-M

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Profile

Post #: 106

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/17/2009 6:28:56 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I'm a Dom. And I'm going to be a Dom any way I damn well please. And that will include caring (I prefer that word to "kind").

Bluntly, if I needed a stamp of approval to be me, I would not consider myself to be a Dom, let alone a Master.

He frequently says "Honey can you get me a glass of water?" and guess what folks, I do know it isn't a question and I do get it for him right away.

Somebody who was cruel and heartless is not someone I would ever be with.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 107

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/18/2009 5:36:25 PM

blackeagle58

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackeagle58

In my opinion , a master is not obliged to shape his actions in behalf of his slave..

Nope, he (or she) is not. He would be well served, however, if he knew how to get the best out of his slave, understanding her emotional and intellectual make up, her desires, and the best way to reach into her mind.

You present two extremes here and life is not so black and white. Is there no flexibility with you? No middle ground? Simply darkness and fear? That would leave me a withered and depressed spirit. Funny though, a simple "Come here, dear" with his finger pointing at his feet had me happily there in a split second.

I suppose the difference is you want a fearful slave and he wants a happy slave. To each his own. There's time and place for fear and other intensities, but if that was all he created, I would find him one dimensional.

Ofcourse , I do not judge anybody for his / her own way of thinking...I believe that my slave should only be happy when he/she is under my control and humiliatıon..And if he has accepted to be mine by his soul and body , he has to act as I want to...You say you should be withered and depressed in such a manner and that would exactly be the mood I would prefer my slave should have felt...I am very normally oriented in my job , among my friends and in my family and very kind and tender in my normal relatıons ......But here , we are not talkıng about normal relatıons...BDSM is the landscape of our dark and hidden feelings...And I do believe that normal behaviours such as being kind and tender or what ever you may name cannot exist in this life style..My slave is not my friend when he is under my feet...Being kind and tender is not valid for him ...This does not mean that I will ruın his social life as a human being and harm him in general...I accept my slave as my property and do all my best to achive his submission just like the way I should .....

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Profile

Post #: 108

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/18/2009 5:55:24 PM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

It took me some time but I read all the posts, I wanted to have a clear idea of what I was stepping into.

Should you be a kind Dom? What is your goal?

I believe it was NuevaVida who asked, do you rule by love, or do you rule by fear?

Fear will never win you a sub's true devotion, only love will do that.

(in reply to blackeagle58)

Profile

Post #: 109

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/18/2009 9:36:52 PM

HeadmasterDavid

Posts: 15
Joined: 7/12/2009
Status: offline

The question posed is akin to asking "Should a car be really fast?"

There is a correct "Master" for every "Sub". Some want their titles capitalized. Some don't care.
Some want to be called "Master" some want to be called "Sir".
Some want their subs to talk in the third person.
Whenever we start judging someone on the basis of how they define their D/s relationship, we are treading on thin ice. They may have 20 years more experience than we do, and have already been here and done that which we are just now trying to learn. So be careful making statements about what a Master should or should not be like. It all depends on who he is interacting with.

That said, there are some D/s relationships that are just plain pathological. I look at them and wonder how long it is going to take a therapist to heal both of them after they are finished with this crazy thing they are doing to each other.

If you're too kind to be dominating, then you may not be achieving the desired result of Dominance. You may be letting the sub get away with things she knows she should not be able to get away with. And you'll lose your Dominance. Lose your dominance and you've lost the respect of your sub.

I've interviewed more subs than I care to admit, doing some research in 1986, and every single one of them said "I wish my Master was more dominant". Not one of them complained that he wasn't kind enough.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Profile

Post #: 110

RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? - 7/18/2009 11:22:23 PM

blackeagle58

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeadmasterDavid

If you're too kind to be dominating, then you may not be achieving the desired result of Dominance. You may be letting the sub get away with things she knows she should not be able to get away with. And you'll lose your Dominance. Lose your dominance and you've lost the respect of your sub.

That is exactly correct and is really what I meant in my statement....

(in reply to HeadmasterDavid)