RE: subs who don't know their place

RE: subs who don't know their place (Full Version)

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BoiJen -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 8:40:09 AM)
Alls I'm sayin is this: We openly choose to enter the relationships we're in as adults. And when beginning that relationship wheather it be friend or lover or whatever...we talk about what we expect. And if you don't...well that's kinda foolish. For BDSM and D/s oriented relationships, the bottom end of that gets to be the reason that the Domme broke a nail...even if they aren't there. That's just how it is. and yeah sometimes.. "becuase I'm the Domme" is the only answer we get and we get to suck it up like it or not becuase that's what we agreed to. Frankly, if you take away that part of the power dynamic you take away the power dynamic it self. Someone's in charge someone isn't. And when you agree not to be in charge, well...that's on you. At that point...when compromise is what your relationship is based not power dynamic...well it aint BDSM anymore...much less anthing resembling D/s...it's time to call it somethin else. my opinion yadda yadda

bearincuffs -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 8:50:34 AM)
I do see where you are coming from. It's just I can't see everything as being "cut and dried" in every aspect of life, whether it's in a BDSM oriented relationship or in a vanilla relationship. How my thought process works, is I try to see any situation from many different angles beyond the obvious. It helps myself to form a clearer understanding of the dynamics of any relationship without limiting myself to one one specific dynamic.

BoiJen -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 8:56:54 AM)
There's no reason that should conflict with D/s none at all...saying "please and thank you" doesn't make one less Dominant...nor does "please" suddenly mean it's a request..it's just courtesy. Way I see it is this. If it works don't break it...just this whole line of "I'm not a doormat" is bullshit is all...at least in the ways of this lifestyle. If someone don't like being a doormat maybe this aint for them. It's all choice..become responsible for your own choices...it's the adult thing to do. Too many people complain for my tastes...'at's all.

stevepops -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 9:00:07 AM)
"Hello, I'm a Dom..." great way to introduce yourself in the profile .... makes me think about doing some youtube videos like BDSM versions of Apple's "Hello, I'm a Mac" commercials. Runs out to set up a new profile - look for LordSirDomMaster soon

bearincuffs -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 9:05:46 AM)
I may be wrong in this but when I see someone using the phrase "I'm not a doormat" I interpret that to mean they do not want to place themself in a dynamic where they will endure (negative) abuse. I too see this pharse used quite often and though I can understand why they may feel they have to state this, it does get to be redundant after awhile. Often the person doesn't know themself as well as they could/should and make choices that may not be quite suitable?

BoiJen -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 9:16:38 AM)
right! And that's their responsibility as adults to know themselves well enough to state their nees and desires...in a D/s relationship coming from the bottom half well...it's indulgence to fill these wants and desires...from the top end...well wants needs and desires are all the same and must be met to the best of one's ability...comppromise gone.

ONEDEMANDINGMSTR -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 9:27:22 AM)
Whew!!! Finally read them all.!! When I came to the realization that I was a Dom(Learned about BDSM from a subbie, btw) It was long before I had any contact with the internet...20+yrs ago. I learned from what little there was in books and online and immersed Myself in the lore. I met women locally, through the local 'underground' newspaper.....and most of us learned together. The 'bible belt' is no an easy place to practice BDSM. Communication between Me and My subs was paramount if we were ever to maintain what is now called a D/s, or M/s relationship. Therefore it was also imperative that the sub was treated as an equal partner. Then, as now, that respect for a sub as a person, an intellect, and as a woman has never wavered. I expect, require and demand that a sub never lose respect for herself, or her role, in the either the vanilla or BDSM world. I have always seen My role as a Dom........as that of a 'catalyst'........to help her react and grow in both worlds and feel good about the 'process'. I was going to reply to the OP early on, but the subs jumped right in there!! They chewed the guy up and spit him out in little chunks of phony domliness.....hehehehe I have been proud to read their posts.........even though they all belong to the 'Troll"!! As a Dom , it is gratifying to see that I have never been wrong all these years of respecting the women who call themselves subs..........and are proud of their choice. For it truly is a choice......... KUDOS FOR THE SUBs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JackAnory -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 9:39:06 AM)
One could see it that way but one should also be in possession of the facts. Sometimes the facts do speak for themselves. We like to call these, self speaking facts. This is unlike the hidden facts that daunt us all as we travel through life. I think also that some of what was said was slightly ineffectual and maybe could have been disregarded as such.

missturbation -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 9:40:56 AM)
just this whole line of "I'm not a doormat" is bullshit is all...at least in the ways of this lifestyle. If someone don't like being a doormat maybe this aint for them. No what you said there is bull shit. I do not have to be a doormat to serve well. I am no doormat either, you need to rethink if you ask me!!

Darias -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/29/2007 9:49:47 AM)
let me see if i got this right ? ( and believe me im quite amazed that the OP has managed to draw the attention of a simularly uninitiated mind when the thread was moved to the random stupidty forums by our enlightened mods ) boijen you are of the belief that for a submissive to be a submissive they must infact choose to and allow themselves to be abused treated like crap and basicly walked all over ? this seems rather far fetched and i might understand your mistake were you refering to a slave but you dont appear to be . a submissive by choice submits to their dominant yes . and they choose to obey serve please and be pleased by that dominant . they do not however make the choice to give up their free will individuality and freedom to refuse should they feel a certain act is dangerous or beyond their ability to accept and perform thus for a submissive to be a doormat they would infact be throwing away much of what makes the a submissive in the first place

BoiJen -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 10:23:35 AM)
When does being a doormat becomes abuse? Seriousl? And when do people stop having their own responsibility in being in a relationship. Frankly you're not being tied to a bed post withou the ability to leave at all times. So if you're unhappy be an adult and get your ass out of their. It's all in the connotation of the word doormat. And frankly if you think yourself serious enough to say "I won't be your doormat" then own up to your role and choice to BE in that relationship. say I won't be abused rather than that tired old line.

mistoferin -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 10:38:03 AM)
I'm so glad I found this thread.....I think I will be laughing the rest of the day.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 11:00:55 AM)
saying "i'm not a doormat" merely states to any potential Dom that i don't wish to be used/abused like a thing he merely wipes his feet on. i'm a person whose opinions matter ...has high self-esteem about and confidence within herself ...yes, respect me as your submissive. however i guess according to you i wouldn't be a twue submissive.

bearincuffs -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 11:14:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen When does being a doormat becomes abuse? I'm just wondering if it would be better to specifically ask the person using this phrase to clarify their definition? As it appears there seems to be a conflict between how many people interpret this phrase. If the person clarifies their meaning, then hopefully this will avoid further misundrstanding.

BoiJen -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 12:26:37 PM)
Okay last I checked D/s relationships weren't democracies...your opinion matters when an Owner wants it to matter to them

SweetSarijane -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 12:37:59 PM)
Last time I checked, D/s, M/s relationships were what the 2 or more involved in them, made them. They way THEY want them, not what others say or think it should be.

bearincuffs -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 12:43:49 PM)
Hmmm....last time I checked, my opinion matters irregardless to having a Master or not! But f you are determined to believe this isn't the case, I suggest you ask him yourself ok and his user name on here is irishric smile

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: subs who don't know their place (3/30/2007 2:31:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen Okay last I checked D/s relationships weren't democracies...your opinion matters when an Owner wants it to matter to them and which BDSM book are you quoting this from? last i checked, there wasn't one twue book to clearly define every D/s relationship for everyone to follow. btw - between Daddy and me, my opinions do matter though He makes the final decision.

butterfly22022 -> RE: subs who don't know their place (4/14/2007 7:27:55 PM)
i have read your post and can perhaps appreciate the fact that maybe you have not been having much luck finding a compatible submissive. however, your post sounds very hostile. i for one, am NOT looking for a hostile Dominant and i don't know very many submissives who are. i also must say something about the doormat comment that you posted. i am not a doormat. it says that right in my profile and i stand by that. i have a doormat in my house. i put my dirty shoes on it (especially when they're wet or muddy), i wipe my feet on it, and i leave it on the floor. i am more than that. i don't want someone to come over, beat the crap out of me and just leave me there. i am a person first being submissive is just part of who i am as a person. i need time, attention, play and affection from a Dominant....and even more than that. i personally don't pick up my doormat and give it a hug and kiss after i've stomped and scraped my shoes on it...but then again...maybe that's your kink??? maybe that's why you would suggest that a doormat and a submissive go hand and hand??? if so, then my apologies 'Sir'. if not, then maybe you should heed some advice from this submissive and think before you write.

MasterRandpet -> RE: subs who don't know their place (4/15/2007 9:40:07 AM)
You silly silly boy.

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