Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (Full Version)

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Passion357 -> Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/26/2007 9:58:21 PM)

 Greetings, All,

This question was posed to me a while back and I have *always* wanted to know what others think about it and what they would do or not do.

How would one handle a situation of a slave or submissive repeatedly challenging the authority of his/her Owner in a group setting with other M/s couples around?
 I understand that the Owner of said slave is the only one that should correct them, however as an unwilling observer of the action how would one handle the situation?

It's just a general question, no details needed. Like "What is she doing?" Well, it does not matter :-) She is challenging authority in a public M/s setting. That's bad enough.

You are the "unwilling observer". You may be a Master friend of the Master, a slave friend of the slave, or a complete stranger new to the scene.
That is why I think this is perfect for this forum. The responses will be *so* vast, and from every different outlook.

Thank you, Stephann. I should have done this long ago.

Well Wishes,
~Passion~



MagiksSlave -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/26/2007 10:07:22 PM)

It isnt up to anyone els to do anything aspecialy in a M/s setting I would hope no one would but in I would hope people would know better then to do anything to someone els's slave while they where right there, it is up to the Master and that Master only to correct behavior. if he isnt then it is obviouse that the behavior is exeptable and or he will deal with it at a later time when others arent around. It isnt up to others to challange that period.


Magik's slave



Stephann -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/26/2007 10:07:57 PM)

Good evening Passion,

Um... well... uhh...

I dunno?

Seriously, it depends on the nature of the situation.  Disobedience isn't really an issue for me.  It's not my job to keep other people's property in their place.  It's not my job to babysit submissives.  However, when I'm in a group of people who are blatently disrespectful, rude, or impolite, I won't think twice about exerting whatever authority I might muster to fix it.  As a bouncer I've used every trick; from cajoling, to offering a free beer, to throwing a guy out head first into a garbage can.  I'm not interested in 'right' as much as I am in 'peace' in a public setting, because without peace, there can be no right.

There's a good start.  Interesting question, though.

Warm wishes,

Stephan



leakylee -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/26/2007 10:14:17 PM)

oh wow Passion,
That is a really good question. If it was my freind, someone that I knew, and it was unusual behavior for her/him. I might be inclined to see if there was something wrong. I know that I wouldnt stick my nose in the behavior department, not in my job description, but as a freind it might be helpful to try and reach out there. That would be about all I would know to do.

lee



junecleaver -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/26/2007 10:18:47 PM)

I would be really uncomfortable and move over to another conversation/area.  Any time a submissive disobeys around me or couples fight near me, I get this feeling like, 'Oh no are mommy and daddy going to get a divorce?'  It's just uncomfortable to witness and the tension doesn't feel that pleasant either. 



hawkwolf7 -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/26/2007 10:25:26 PM)

I understand the idea of not needing to know the details, and I agree with the following caveat. Are you absolutely sure that the submissive/slave is challenging his/her owner's authority. I ask because there have been many situations where someone could assume my sub was challenging mine when they weren't. In other words, it is the Owner who determines what is and isn't a challenge. And some Masters/Owners want resistance; that is part of their kink.

Having said all of that, my answer is to watch the Owner/Master. He/She may be enjoying the challenge. They may not be. But, in either case, I think it is for the Owner/Master to deal with, or not. How they choose to respond may be the critical factor in the future of the relationship.

The bottom line is that no one can know all the details of the negotiation behind the relationship except the participants. Interfering in any way is just that: interfering. Even when it's clearly messed up. Besides, doing it wrong is an important part of learning how to do it right.



rmanrr -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/26/2007 10:43:37 PM)

I have bounced a few as well Stephann...heh. As for the situation in question....it is His right to discipline. And his resonsibility. In My own bailiwick, any Free can and will correct behavior unbecoming. Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr



MasterNdorei -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 2:09:16 AM)

It is a good question Passion. i too know it's origins, but for the sake of this board i will answer as you have directed the question in this forum.

It would be for the One who owns me to determine how He allows others to speak to Him.

Master's dorei




Lashra -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 2:21:34 AM)

I wouldnt do anything s/he doesn't belong to me, its up to the Owner to do something. If S/he doesn't do anything then the Owner must enjoy the behavior. The only time I would say something is if s/he was annoying Me and Mine. Then I'd say something to the sub/slave and the Owner.

~Lashra



orfunboi -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 2:37:22 AM)

If the slave in question, where a part of my household, i would speak to the head of the house. Other  wise, i wouldn't do anything. Unless she is part of my family, it is up to her house to deal with it.



julietsierra -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 2:50:54 AM)

I'd excuse myself from the situation and move to another area of the room. If that's not possible, I do everything in my power to not appear as if I'm paying the least bit attention to the elephant in the living room. I won't give the submissive an audience in front of which to perform and I won't further embarrass the dominant by appearing to be the voyeur to his/her difficulties. But mostly, I'm just really really uncomfortable by actions like this and do my  best to avoid them.

juliet 



SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 3:01:23 AM)

This happened to Me with a new subbie at a party....problem was she had just discovered a tramatic memory earlier when We played before hand in private at Our room.

Then she decided to drink at the party creating scenes and being defiant to Me.

Knowing what she was through earlier and this must be her way of processing it I did not enforce anything  but pretty much did damage control.

This was her first group party so she decided she wanted to be the center of attention for everything which I was beside her for.

Admittedly I was getting looks from some doms and subs like you are letting her get away with that? but I did not feel the need to let anyone know except the gracious hostess.

I knew what was going on it it was simply a matter of damage control.

Spent the night with her making sure she was ok and that she did not offer herself up as fresh meat to all the wannas parannas and left in the morning.

Never saw her again as she had much too much baggage and had a hard time distinguishing the truth from her embellishments and fabrications to cover her activities while out of sight.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©



StellaByStarlite -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 3:32:56 AM)

I'd stay the hell out of it... just like I would if I saw witnessed a vanilla couple fighting.



mystiquenz -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 3:49:48 AM)

I agree with most of the other posters, on this topic passion. 

For myself, I do not particularly care for situations that are not pleasant, so as quickly as i found the front door, i would find the exit. 

If it was at a munch or a play party, I would expect the organisers to speak to the person concerned and/or their Master and have the matter resolved quietly and swiftly.  Why should a group of people suffer when two people are having difficulty?  That's not fair play, and in my opinion, it is just bad manners. 

Agreed, we don't know the background, you don't know what has been negotiated between the Dominant and the submissive, but being aware of the feelings of others around you, being polite and well mannered doesn't cost a cent. 

If I felt that uncomfortable and if i was on my own, i would leave.  The choice is mine, and that is how I would exercise it.  Simple really. 



kyraofMists -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 4:01:34 AM)

For the most part, the only option I would have is to remove myself from interacting with them.  If it was someone that I was required to interact with by my Lord, then I would discuss it with him and he can decide what I would do.  As long as their behavior did not personally violate my boundaries then I would say nothing to them at the time.

If the slave was a close personal friend, I might talk to them later to see if something is wrong or if my perception of the events was even accurate.  Just because the behavior is unacceptable to me or my Lord does not make it unacceptable to others.

Knight's kyra



agirl -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 4:02:15 AM)

It would depend on how much of a *scene* they were causing. It's not pleasant being around a vanilla
couple who snipe and bitch at each other, either, but I wouldn't see it as any of my business, whoever it was.

If I was a friend, and they were acting out of character, I might ask, *Are you ok? You don't seem yourself tonight*. But in a general sense, people rarely thank you for involving yourself in their problems.

agirl



mstrjx -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 4:39:27 AM)

My 'quick and dirty' answer, as I'm running out of time this morning, is fairly simple.

I understand something 'unpleasant' is going on in front of me.  I don't exactly walk away, I don't really acknowledge it either.  I keep whatever feelings I have (if any) to myself, and once it's over I don't say anything about it to the parties involved.  It's not my place.

I handle vanilla unpleasantries the same way.  I file the information about the parties in the back of my mind, for future reference if necessary.

Jeff



jauntyone -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 4:42:01 AM)

quote:

How would one handle a situation of a slave or submissive repeatedly challenging the authority of his/her Owner in a group setting with other M/s couples around?
I understand that the Owner of said slave is the only one that should correct them, however as an unwilling observer of the action how would one handle the situation?

Greetings
 
quite frankly, I would not 'handle' the situation at all. It is not my place, as a slave, to speak up or correct the behavior of others.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa



canupleaseme -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 5:18:10 AM)

I agree with most of the other posters.  Its not my place to chastise someone elses sub/slave/whatevr we all like to call it.  If I was at a party and someone was being really naughty but not directly at me I would just ignor any behaviour.  If they were being naughty to me then I would talk to their dom/domme/again whatever you like to call it  and tell them im not at all happy with the behavur but leave it for them to sort out.

I went to a friends house once and her boyfriend had been really rude to her the night before and she was so upset.  When she told me what he had done she said you know what he needs spanking!!!  Bearing in mind they are a vanilla couple I know so it was quite amusing to see.  She asked me if I would like to spank him too with a hairbrush.  I politely declined which she found quite strange knowing I am a mistress but as I pointed out to her he didnt piss me off so I'm not bothered!!!
This topic just reminded me of that [:)]



Wildfleurs -> RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) (3/27/2007 5:21:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Passion357

Greetings, All,

This question was posed to me a while back and I have *always* wanted to know what others think about it and what they would do or not do.

How would one handle a situation of a slave or submissive repeatedly challenging the authority of his/her Owner in a group setting with other M/s couples around?
 I understand that the Owner of said slave is the only one that should correct them, however as an unwilling observer of the action how would one handle the situation?

It's just a general question, no details needed. Like "What is she doing?" Well, it does not matter :-) She is challenging authority in a public M/s setting. That's bad enough.

You are the "unwilling observer". You may be a Master friend of the Master, a slave friend of the slave, or a complete stranger new to the scene.
That is why I think this is perfect for this forum. The responses will be *so* vast, and from every different outlook.

Thank you, Stephann. I should have done this long ago.

Well Wishes,
~Passion~



At the moment?  Nothing but extricate myself from that conversation or if we were all sitting at the table together (like if we were all eating a meal together) I'd try to move the conversation at the table to something different.

Later on I'd be talking about it with my owner, and not in a positive way.

C~



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