RE: safe words when does stop mean more?

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 8:49:35 PM

IrishMist

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LMAO

Jeff...now that was funny

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 8:57:22 PM

Padriag

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ROFLMAO!

Bravo man, bravo!

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 9:22:43 PM

nookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

I posited that same thought in my first post to this thread, how could she have said "red" with a mouth full of cock. To be blunt, something isn't adding up here. But, since I don't really know what did or didn't happen, its hard to say.

I agree wholeheartedly.

quote:

Even if she could not have responded right away, then she should have said something to her "dom" as soon as the "scene" was over. And if not then, then in the car when asked. She probably had several opportunities but apparently never said anything....

Again my concern with what the OP's statement "Did not seem to object to his delayed stopping." means exactly. If a safe word doesn't mean anything, would an objection be taken for what it is?

quote:

I've seen too many submissives who meekly accept whatever is done to them, even when what was done is wrong or was not what they consented too.

This is abuse, plain and simple. I've seen subs take all forms of abuse, complain to others of the abuse, and go back for more because they believe they must. Being submissive, in my mind, does not mean I must take abuse. And before it comes up, I understand that what might be abuse to some is not abuse to all.

quote:

I give a very strong reprimand to submissives who do this, because its important they understand the need to speak up when certain boundaries have been crossed....

...While I teach any submissive I deal with to obey, I also stress developing core values that should never be violated. There are rules that should never be broken by anyone, not even me. If that does happen, I stress to these submissives the importance that they speak up and if necessary remove themselves from a situation because they have a responsibility to protect themselves. Not everyone teaches this, I wish they would, we might have a few less submissives who allow themselves to be abused....

...That's why teaching the importance of certain rules and core values is so important... that a submissive doesn't have to consciously think about it, it becomes a reflex. That reflex can protect, just as the reflex to pull you hand out of a fire protects... you don't need to think about and it doesn't matter if you are shocked or confused, the reflex happens anyway. Apparently, this submissive has never been taught that, and that left her vulnerable.

You appear to be a strong, responsible Dom who truly takes responsibility for the safety of his subs, and teaches them to do so also, to the point of being what you term "harsh".

However, you do point out that not all Doms teach their subs this and in not doing so, IMO, take full responsibility for their safety upon themselves.

And therein lies my questioning whether this particular sub was at "fault".

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 9:24:19 PM

nookie

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Jeff,

That is truly funny. Thank you. ~grinning~

nookie

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 10:04:11 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

obe, i so agree that sucks........but mostly people forgive and forget.....i mean after all bush was elected twice! *grin*

i really respect someone who says "hey i fucked up...and i am sorry"....i really admire someone who is strong enough to lead by his own moral compass then to cower behind an illusion of himself....or herself.

if certain folks wont forgive him, well, in a way they are the ones loosing out, because folks that have the quality's of leadership, self accountability, integrity, and courage...are pretty few and far between....

The thing is he doesnt seem to be saying sorry or even admitting he or his mentor did anything wrong, even if the sub didnt say anything about him not stoping him as her Master still should have.. I know my Master has let others use me only while he was there watching and never while he was ingaged in anything els he always watched and made sure I was ok.. getting a blowjob while another canes your property PASSED the safe word is un exeptable behavior from a Master in my opinion, if he where my Master, well he would no longer be... He said nothing when the first cane fell when the secent cane fell or when the thrid cane fell passed the safe word and then nothing even after that.. it was his responsablity to say hey bud she called her safe word not hers even if it ment stoping his own plesure and grabbing the cane away... The moment you heard RED you should have become allert and stoped what you where doing and made sure she was ok and things stoped..You didnt protect your property and in my opinion that signifies you dont deserve to own anyone, How can she trust that she is safe if you allow this to happen... and dont get me even started about this so called mentor his behavior is inexcusable.

fusion said this as well
Excuse the sorry meant means! Also: Should add my mentor(alex) has over 30 years experience as both submissive and dominant, he is know nation wide.

Id like to know why this excuses his deplorable behavior!?! No matter how well know or how long you are in the lifestyl you never have the right to cross that line!

Id also like to know how she called the safe word while giveing him a blowjob???

Magik's slave

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 10:30:25 PM

crouchingtigress

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Hey folks i have seen the movie of the session in question, and guess what ...she never safeworded her safe word was red and she never used it. What happened was the dom (who i did not like the energy of) asked her if it was time to stop....she said yes...he said 3 more ok? She nodded and moaned and then he whacked her 3 more times...

No harm no foul as it turns out.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 10:31:53 PM

MagiksSlave

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wait.. there was a movie!!!

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 10:31:54 PM

zindyslave

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Okay sorry if this sounds mean, but why keep arguing over this if he isn't interested enough to even respond kindly to the advise given. Maybe he just started this thread to get everyone upset...that is what it seems to me. I agree with most of you that it was wrong. He evidently doesn't care one whit about her and we should do what we can to get the word out that he is someone not worthy of being anyones Dom.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 10:33:11 PM

zindyslave

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okay what MagiksSlave said...there was a movie?

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 10:41:58 PM

crouchingtigress

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yes the session was video taped.....isnt everything these days?...

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 10:43:17 PM

MagiksSlave

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well that paints a very different pic then the op did

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RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? - 4/5/2007 10:49:11 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

Violation is a weird thing- rape victims don't always physically fight back, that doesn't mean they deserved it or are irresponsible for their protection.

And yes, they do not always process the violation until much after the fact, and sometimes not until put into the same circumstances all over again.. it might take a while for this sub to really know if she was damaged or not.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/5/2007 11:51:59 PM

OhBeMyMind

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

Oh, no, no, no... not you OhBeMyMind... take a look at the original post

That is was I was referring to

So sorry that my post was vague & caused you to think I was speaking of you.

Thank you for letting me know and clearing that up.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/6/2007 12:11:34 AM

OhBeMyMind

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Hey folks i have seen the movie of the session in question, and guess what ...she never safeworded her safe word was red and she never used it. What happened was the dom (who i did not like the energy of) asked her if it was time to stop....she said yes...he said 3 more ok? She nodded and moaned and then he whacked her 3 more times...

No harm no foul as it turns out.

Isn't that fucking interesting........well, that conflicts with what fusion described....oh yeah that's right, I almost forgot....he was distracted.
fusion, evidently, is not dependable at recalling 'facts', at least not while he is getting a nut off, maybe he should have watched the video before he posted.

However, the thread has not been a complete waste.

Sooooo, how did she speak with her mouth full of cock?

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RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? - 4/6/2007 12:18:54 AM

DocTSH

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Not stopping after the safeword was said, makes about as much sense as choosing "More" for a safeword. That's a serious lack of control as I see it. If you cannot control yourself, how could you possible feel you could control another?

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RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? - 4/6/2007 12:21:48 AM

susie

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Fast reply

I guess the OP got what he came here for then. Viewers for his movie.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/6/2007 4:12:51 AM

MistressRouge

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This is why I have never had the use for "safewords", My subs have no need to request them either, as I like to take FULL control of My submissive's. They have faith and comfort in the fact of My knowledge, gauging all responses, and the over-all wellbeing of My intuition and receptive analysis of them. Sometimes, a no means "yes", and My subs enjoy offering themselves to Me totally.

I do not say this in an arrogant or egotistical way, but if a sub offered a safeword, I would question My Dominance, and it would change the whole dynamic of our session.

I have indulged in this wonderful world of BDSM, fantasies and fetishes for almost 9 years now, I once filmed & featured in a FemDomme film, which a novice underwent some very intense senario's for a filmshoot. A safeword was presented, and yet he did not, I commended him on his resilence, and praised his servitude throughout our intense film shots.

I do however use signals, signals are so much more effective especially when subs are; gagged, mummified/restricted, hooded and verbal communication is limited.

To be receptive and "tuned in" to a submissive, gauging their responses, breath, body language, state of mind, reactions, stretching their capabilities, and challenge their thresholds, urging and willing them to euphoric endorphins, at My Dominant attentions, is far more rewarding then having a sub safeword, as I believe : using a "safeword" as a comfort blanket.

Instilling trust, and care, and competence, is a wonderful, liberating and fulfilling to Me personally.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/6/2007 4:51:44 AM

SweetAndInnocent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

obe, i so agree that sucks........but mostly people forgive and forget.....i mean after all bush was elected twice! *grin*

i really respect someone who says "hey i fucked up...and i am sorry"....i really admire someone who is strong enough to lead by his own moral compass then to cower behind an illusion of himself....or herself.

if certain folks wont forgive him, well, in a way they are the ones loosing out, because folks that have the quality's of leadership, self accountability, integrity, and courage...are pretty few and far between....

I made sure to read all replies before I posted this. While after reading the end results, he is obviously lacking in integrity, I'm still curious as to why you feel people should forgive him. Not once in any of these posts did he say he was sorry, or admit he fucked up.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/6/2007 5:00:14 AM

MistressRouge

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Dom's and Domme's make mistakes, we are only human after-all!

It takes alot of trial and error regarding BDSM and such-forth, and nobody is perfect. I am sure He will learn from this experience, as we all do.

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RE: safe words when does stop mean more? - 4/6/2007 6:32:52 AM

Trampler

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KOM, You have a good point about pushing limits, But I do feel the need to point out that you probably at some point discussed with your subs about pushing their limits, the reasons, maybe the philosophy behind it. The thing of it is, is that it doesn't sound like there was much if any communication in that session.

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