RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your Mistress cry?

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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 7:08:38 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Crying is just a relief valve for stress, if people did it more often we'd have less stress in our lives. The last time I cried was 5 years ago when my Father had a massive stroke and the doctor said he didnt expect him to make it through the night. I went into the bathroom and had a good cry, composed myself and went back to sit with my Mother. I can't get emotional in front of people that bothers me for some reason.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 21

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 7:50:55 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Being fully human in a relationship is really important to me. Being authentically real. Which means that sometimes I am hurt and cry. I need someone who also seeks the same gritty realness, there is such intimacy built in those moments of sharing. I have found it isn't important to everyone but that's what screening is for.

< Message edited by arayofsunshine55 -- 4/6/2007 7:51:29 AM >

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 22

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 8:03:16 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Fox has seen me cry, he holds me when that happens, offer validation. I do the same for him. Our goal is to become the best human beings we can first and foremost, one of our ways to do that is through our Ds relationship.

Does he feel bad? I think it depends on why I'm crying. Not all crying is negative afterall. Same for me with him.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 23

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 10:15:53 AM

stockingluvr54

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

Any woman crying bothers me especially if I thought it was something I'd done or caused.

On the other hand it would also show me she was human and not some heartless woman.....so that's a good thing too.

Not sure what I'd do except to try and communicate and/or do whatever was in my power to help?

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 24

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 10:47:37 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

I like to make women happy,this feeds me,my self worth I suppose,but a woman crying or sad,this turns me inside out and usually sets me off as well,followed by feelings of loss and I try to remedy the situation,just to once again see that smile.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 25

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 11:26:39 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I really appreciate all of the thoughtful replies. It is really encouraging to hear, everyone. Thanks.

Maybe I should add that one of my dearest friends here at CM is also a male submissive. I did call him one time when I was extremely upset (and crying) and he was most helpful to me when that happened, and I was very grateful for that, and still am.

But I asked the question anyway, because he is also a friend, and I was just wondering if there was some general way male submissives felt about this issue, as a group, when it comes to interacting w/ a Domme partner, because that is a different situation, w/possibly different expectations, from both parties. Guess I've concluded most all of male submissives are very empathic beings, which is good to know.

onestandingstill: I've always been a Switch, just recently began exploring the possibility of opening up my Domme side more. The submissive side of me is still in operation, too. Don't worry, when I come to visit you at the end of April, we are still gonna paint the town red!

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 12:07:11 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 26

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 11:50:50 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I was in a bit of a smart-assed mode until I saw this post. I firmly believe serious questions deserve serious answers.

It took some thinking on My part to relate the question to Myself. Truthfully, there have only been two times in which I can apply the topic. I cried when I stood beside the casket of My first slave. I cried when My last pet chose to leave. The one who actually saw Me cry on both instances was My husband.

Particularly in the case of the later, I had the thought process of ..... "I shouldn't be crying..... This is such an unDommely (is that a word?) thing to do..... I must appear so weak right now" Granted, it took Me a little while to see how foolish that was. When it became a little clearer, it brought Me something. I know that any boy that I would take would have to accept the fact that, underneath it all, I'm still human. I'm not perfect. I'm not always strong. Tears can be, should be, a part of that.

Should a boy care? Hell yes!

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 27

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 11:53:48 AM

SusanofO

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Joined: 12/19/2005
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I appreciate your reply, LadyPact.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 28

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 12:13:09 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I appreciate your reply, LadyPact.

- Susan

You are very welcome, Susan. Thank you for the topic.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 29

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 12:33:48 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
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Well this thread has been refreshing for me to read. Because I know what I see as far as the expectations some female submissives seem to have for male Dominants, and some of them (not all, but more than a few) seem to express the idea that it would totally blow them away, to see a male Dominant become in any way "emotional" (Please, no flames for that remark. It is just a personal observation).

I know that females are in a different group, being female and all, but still the Dominant "role" seemed (to me) to include particular expectations as far as behavior, and I was just wondering how that was affected by the sex of the Dominant in question. It is refreshing to know that a woman can still cry if she needs to cry, even in the Dominant "role."

I do appreciate all of the replies.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 1:14:24 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 30

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 12:39:12 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

That is interesting, Lashra. I cannot stand to cry in front of
people either and will go off somewhere to compose myself.

A few movies have moved me to tears in a darkened theatre
or in the privacy of my own living room, "Wuthering Heights"
gets me every time.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032145/

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 31

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 12:43:26 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

Susan,

I am much like Lashra, in that I rarely cry in front of people. The three people in the world I can cry in front of are: My houseboy, my mother, and my friend/bratsub, in that order. I do cry when I need it, but rarely in front of anyone but my boy. For his part (and this is the same for my bratsub) he knows I'm human, and that sometimes we need to let out our emotions to relieve the stress. He often doesn't know what to say, but he comforts me and holds me until I feel better.

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 32

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 12:46:45 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
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Oh I love Wuthering Heights, especially the 1970 version, w/Timothy Dalton playing Heathcliff (what a total hunky man-babe!). I definitely cry during that movie, too.

There are certainly times I want to cry, but stop myself for the sake of those around me, particularly in my volunteer job at the children's shelter. I mean, some of what those kids go through is just unbelievable, but I can't exactly melt into a puddle of Jell-o around them, or they would maybe lose confidence in me.

Of course, they are a lot younger, but the same thought was in operation (to a degree) when I posted this thread, because a Dominant is somewhat in the "protective" role, whether male or female.

Although, men are men, IMO, whether submissive or Dominant, and seem to be somewhat protective of females generally (seems to me, anyway) so I got confused as far as what any expectation might be in that regard, for females in the Dominant role, and I wondered about them crying, etc., and so asked the question.

I very much appreciate the thoughtful responses from everyone.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 1:15:08 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 33

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 12:56:44 PM

draba

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline

I agree with Pixel. It would not bother me to see Mistess cry, but I would be more concerned with what made her cry. Especellay if it had anything to do with me. I would be honored to have My Mistress show me her sensitive side and feel comfortable enough with me. Actually my Mistress does share alot of her feelings with me. She is a Pro and often when I see her (I am collared and her personal plaything) she needs to vent. I am as much a convidant to her as a slave. I feel as if trust is stronger when a Mistress is able to share her feelings with a slave/sub. It shows a level of trust but also resect, if she is asking for advice.
draba - a genus in the musturd family

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 34

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 12:58:14 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

What a thoughtful reply. Your Mistress sounds like a lucky woman. Thank you.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 12:59:02 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to draba)

Post #: 35

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 1:32:43 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

While I might not like admitting that I have a sensitive side, I know it's there and it comes out when I deal with emotionally-charged issues. If he is going to be a part of my life, that's just one of the parts of me he learns how to deal with. I can very clearly remember breaking into tears in the midst of a rather intense scene where my then-boy had an emotional and spiritual breakthrough. The two of us wound up kissing away each others tears as the beginnings of the aftercare when playtime came to an end.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 36

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 1:39:29 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

That's beautiful, IMO. I'd think it would feel wonderful to be that close with a male submissive. Thanks for the reply.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 1:40:19 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 37

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 1:47:00 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

it would bother me, in the same way that it bothers me when anyone is crying... it would bother me all the more because Ma'am is someone whom i care very deeply for, and that we are both empathic, emotionally

i am submissive, but i am also a man and take it upon myself to do whatever it is in my power to comfort those i care about

some may say that wrapping Her in my arms and giving loving assurances, or taking control of the situation and finding a way to remedy Her pain would not be acts of a submissive; but, i ask You what is more submissive than taking the initiative to do whatever it is that my Dominant needs me to do at any given moment?

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 38

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 1:49:08 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Great point. Thanks for replying.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 39

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 2:05:37 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I used to cry less because I'd grown up hearing that "only babies cry" and if I wanted to survive that meant I had to grow up and take care of myself, not be a baby.

The first few years of therapy I would repeat that phrase and even hurt myself when I started to cry.

I consider it be a sign of mental health and not letting my past control me now that I can cry even in front of my slave.

But I do understand why it can feel weak to cry.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 40

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