RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your Mistress cry?

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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/24/2007 12:44:34 AM

Sublime5446

Posts: 18
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline

hey everyone, yes it would bother me to see my mistress crying, i would, of course, try anything to comfort her, and if i couldn't i would just be there with her to let her know i care. Mistresses are dominant yes, but that doesnt mean that they aren't people and don't cry at times. and of course, if she wanted to be left alone i would leave her alone, but still be around to comfort, just at a distance.

tom

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 81

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 4:11:59 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I called this old thread up for two reasons. One, I had something that I thought was signifigant to add to it. Two, it's something that I will be directing My boy to read later.

Last evening, literally as I was on My way to pick up My boy for a local munch, I had a car accident. Head on with a two door truck. To My saving grace, no one was seriously injured, but the initial shock..... Well, the mix of the impact, and the thought that I might have actually harmed someone got the better of Me. Oh, yes! I was scared. So many things went running through My head. Believe Me. I cried.

My husband actually made the scene first. I was still quite a mess when he got there. He did his best to calm Me down enough to talk to the officers and start making arrangements. The tears stopped and I regressed a bit back into shock. Some of the details are quite fuzzy.

My boy, who is not familiar with My neighborhood, got terrible directions from Me, borrowed a car, and chased all over trying to find Us. When he did catch up with Us, I was completely surprised at how concerned he was. It's a bit hard to explain, but there are reasons for it.

Once things had (ok, once I had) settled down, and the three of U/us went to get something to eat, it suddenly occurred to Me that I was probably a complete mess. Make-up smeared from crying and hair probably looking like a bird's nest. It made Me realize that My boy had never seen Me cry, really been scared, or anything of the kind. Nothing like I had been during these course of events.

Did he care? Absolutely.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Sublime5446)

Post #: 82

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 6:34:49 AM

slavebrandyj

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

Hiding Her tears from me would hurt so much more then if She would have let them go and let me be Her Pillar and rock to comfort Her, help Her, and be first and foremost a partner to Her, before any consideration about this lifestyle we shared.
She is a person first, a female second, a Woman third, a friend fourth, a Dominant Woman last. Yes, Dominant Woman need to, and do cry. Why would She not?
I am a submissive...true. But to me, only to the one and only Woman I love and want a long term committment from. Not just any Woman that can dominate me. That to me is empty and a waste of time. So yes, I want to see my Woman cry when and if She has a need. I'll be there.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 83

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 7:26:31 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

My slave has seen me cry upon occasion. I don't cry often. I am former military, so I have that mental aspect as far as tears go.
Also, after my divorce, I could not cry for a while.
If you are in a serious relationship with your sub/slave, sooner or later there will be a cause for tears such as death of a family member, sadness, personal loss, etc, etc, and etc.
It is perfectly ok for a Domme to cry occasionally.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 84

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 7:57:43 AM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikko1962

Have been reading many of the insightful posts. Have not had the desire to post until now. I have had similar situations watching someone weep. Very difficult. I wrote this little snippet after such an episode.

--
I came home from work tonight to a dark apartment. As I came into the living room, I heard something from our bedroom. You shouldn’t be home yet? I thought you had a late dinner with a potential business client?

As I opened the bedroom door, I felt your energy as I always do, but something was wrong. The room felt odd. As I gently called your name and slipped into bed to cuddle with you and run my fingers through your hair, I felt a wetness on your pillow. Your hair wasn’t wet from a shower? Tears? I was startled. What’s wrong? I had seen you cry before, many times, but typically at a movie or some sad personal event. Never at home. Never like this.

As I held you, not asking any questions, just holding you, I fell in love with you again, knowing that there were hidden doors inside. Still the mysterious woman I met last year. Still full of surprises. I had always known that the softness was there. I had seen it many times. I don’t know why I thought that a woman who knew how to use a whip couldn’t also curl up into a ball and cry. Why did I think that you were always so strong and in control. I can’t do it. I need the balance of submitting to you. What made me think that you didn’t need the balance of letting go sometimes as well?

As I held you, feeling your silent muffled sobs, knowing you were trying to be strong, I felt you relax, melting into me, understanding each other without a word. You know that when I am submitting to you that I am offering you my strength, my soul. I’m doing the same now, offering you my strength, my soul, letting you feed off of the energy. As you fell asleep in my arms, I knew that I would always love you, always be in love with you.

Nikko

OMG that is so lovely...I think I am gona cry...damn! tears illuded me again.

Tears are a stress reliever and just needed at times. I've a dear friends who I've known since our highschool years (over 25 years). She rarely cries. The first time I met her we were working at a summer camp and our job was to set up for lunch etc...She dropped and broke a bottle of katsup. She started crying and could not stop....took her about an hour to stop and then for the rest of the day any emotion from laughter to anxiety would get her started again. As I recall she did not cry again for the enitre summer. To this day on the rare occassion that her tears come I usually will get a call. Sometimes she will wait till I am present to let it out cause I can hold the space for her and just be there - so simple really. Anyway, Petdave hit the nail on the head in the simple phrase of "the last straw" etc...

I am truely touched by all the fellas who posted and said that they just want to make it better and their instinct for making it better entails is just being there, holding her and loving her at those moments of vulnerability...and to offer to kill the cat if need be. lol

Lady Pact...glad you are okay and that your hubby and boy came through when you needed them. :-)

< Message edited by ocilla -- 10/12/2007 7:59:53 AM >

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 85

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 12:04:32 PM

planomaid

Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline

No, it would not bother me. People cry for lots of reasons, women more than men (usually). Maybe she was stressed, maybe she got bad news, maybe.... she could be crying for lots of reasons.

My first response would be to do what I could to comfort her. Then I would try to see what I could do to alleviate her feeling the way she does. I can honestly say that I wouldn't "do anything" to make her feel better - that's a rather bold statement to make when you don't know what the situation is. And sometimes doing anything will make it worse for her.

I don't see any reason to make a distinction between submissive male and male. The fact that I'm submissive does not alter the situation. Heck, I may even have to boss her around a bit before she is able to regain control and stop crying (again it would depend on the domme and the situation). But I don't see that as an issue of 'topping from the bottom'. A submissive should be dedicated in their desire to make their domme happy, who will in turn make the submissive happy. This might entail me doing something to remedy the situation, or just letting her finish her crying till she has it out of her system.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 86

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 1:12:51 PM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I am so glad this thread was revived.

I am sorry to hear about our accident Ladypact. Hope your feeling a bit better now.
Its so encouraging and positive to see how people are responding to this thread. I agree with Undergroundsea about it being a turn off when its seemingly to manipulate a situation. I'm not sure how your thread came across badly it didnt to me. It brought to mind two women that I know that will reguarly do this to get what they want from someone or a situation and its silly.
I think it would be most unhealthy to not cry and if someone was in a relationship with me and couldnt handle me crying at all then we wouldnt work out.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to planomaid)

Post #: 87

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 3:27:44 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Sorry to hear about the accident, but I'm glad no one was injured. Slavebrandyj stated very eloquently what I believe is very true about human beings in general. Often we get too caught up in roles and forget to just be. Crying isn't dominant or submissive, it's human and I can't imagine wanting to be with someone that doesn't recognize that they are human.

My experience as a sub has been that Doms that don't recognize their own fraility and flaws as a human tend to be rigid and lack depth and can be unattachable. Honestly I want a relationship with a person that happens to be a dom or sub, not with the dom/sub part of them.

For me as a switch in either role, this issue is one I always discuss as I tend to bawl like a baby when I have a really intense orgasm and release and I have learned that if I don't address it up front it causes some frightful reactions.
l

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Post #: 88

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 4:04:07 PM

ricar00

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline

In terrms of thinking there is something wrong with crying is denying your domme her humanity. Well that is true for anyone too. In terms of being there for her, helping her, holding her, or just listening to her there is no doubt i would do all i could to comfort her.
Sometimes the best thing is not to do anything but be there, sometimes you might need to take some control to make her feel better or gain some sanity in a difficult situation. Sometimes you might need to laugh with her when the crying is done. And sometimes you won't know what to do but just be with her. And if you cry too (and i have a difficult time crying) you should.

Tears are wonderful.

(in reply to planomaid)

Post #: 89

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/12/2007 4:31:16 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I'd be inhuman if it didn't bother me if she was crying. It would probably kill me if she was crying because of something I've done. And yes, I've been there in some years past, and nothing has really ever made more of an impact than a moment like that. No one really wants to talk about those moments because everyone likes to give the impression that they would never do anything of such a nature, but I don't think that in so intimate a relationship that a moment like that is possible to be avoided, unless the relationship isn't as deep as one believes.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to ricar00)

Post #: 90

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/13/2007 9:36:06 AM

dahaye

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

Yes, I think it would bother me but I would just have to try harder to please her to cheer her up.Then hopefully she would think up something wonderful for her/us to do.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 91

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/13/2007 9:39:17 AM

InnocentYoungSub

Posts: 210
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

It would really bother me to see her crying. I'd definitely hold her and talk to her about it, that is if she wants to talk about it. And I'd do anything else I could to make her feel better.

_____________________________

I live for.. I die for.. I breathe for..

(in reply to dahaye)

Post #: 92

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/13/2007 10:44:49 AM

sodsta

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

The thing to remember is, before being Dominant or submissive, we are, first and foremost, human beings - and human beings are not infallible. If seeing a Domme cry would turn a submissive off, or make him view Her as a wimp, then he is living in a bit of a fantasy world, to be honest. Human beings - people, will always have their off days. They will occasionally receive bad news, or watch a sad film... that's real life.

Personally, if I had a Domme and saw her cry, I would give her and hug and sit with her, be there if she wanted to talk, or just hold her hand in silence if she didn't. If she wanted to be left alone, I would respect her wishes, but I would not view her as any less of a Domme, or any less of a person. :)

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 93

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/13/2007 10:54:51 AM

AFlyInYourWeb

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I called this old thread up for two reasons. One, I had something that I thought was signifigant to add to it. Two, it's something that I will be directing My boy to read later.

Thanks for doing so. I'm relatively new to the Message Board, and enjoyed seeing this thread.

If I saw my Mistress cry, I would not be "bothered"...I'd prefer "affected". Of course I'm going to have empathy for her emotional distress...I care about her...but I'm not going to be "bothered" by seeing it.

I try to see a Mistress as a Person-Woman-Domme in that order. By taking that view, if she cries, it is not a diminuation of her Authority, but just a human reaction.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 94

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/13/2007 7:03:02 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

about this time a year ago, my former Sir and i were hip deep in all the drama that is involved with a terminal cancer diagnosis. his first reaction was to look at me and cry because he had promised to outlive me...i had lost my previous sweetheart about 4 months before he moved to be with me, and he never wanted me to go through that pain again.

i never felt that he was any less of a man, nor any less of a dominant, because he was able to let his emotions out and tell me what was in his heart and mind at the news....it made me respect and love him even more for having the strength to show me his time of weakness, and allow me to support him through it.

kitten, who can sometimes still hear him whisper "myyyyy cat!!" in her ear....

(in reply to AFlyInYourWeb)

Post #: 95

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/13/2007 7:30:42 PM

mercifulsiren

Posts: 339
Joined: 7/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

about this time a year ago, my former Sir and i were hip deep in all the drama that is involved with a terminal cancer diagnosis. his first reaction was to look at me and cry because he had promised to outlive me...i had lost my previous sweetheart about 4 months before he moved to be with me, and he never wanted me to go through that pain again.

i never felt that he was any less of a man, nor any less of a dominant, because he was able to let his emotions out and tell me what was in his heart and mind at the news....it made me respect and love him even more for having the strength to show me his time of weakness, and allow me to support him through it.

kitten, who can sometimes still hear him whisper "myyyyy cat!!" in her ear....

By you putting this out here it has reminded all of us that we are all human and there will be things that happen to us that will knock everyone of us on our ass. For you it was cancer for us here it is the never ending fight that I have with bi-polar. There are times that it rears its ugly head and I feel so loved when my people are there for me to wipe away the tears. The support that my family has for me is what gets me by when the going gets tough.

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 96

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/14/2007 8:18:46 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Thanks to those who sent their hopes of My well being here on the board and in private messages. It's very kind of you.

The point of it really, is a good reminder of something I do keep as one of My personal ideals. That of, I am a person first, and a Domme second. It goes right along with the lifestyle being a part of My life. In My life, things will happen. Some good, some bad. Just like there will be things that make Me laugh, some things will make Me cry. Not everything has to be as extreme as My most recent example, but these things do happen in life. I think that bit of humanity, makes for stronger dynamics.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mercifulsiren)

Post #: 97

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/14/2007 4:43:49 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

i am still somewhat new to the lifestyle but i know that we are all humans. i would of course be distresed by my M'Lady crying, but not to the point that i would feel less of her.I have been in the army for 19years married for 17 have 4 teenage kids now deployed 3 timesin 2 difrent wars and responsible for the lives of all of the soldiers in my company. as a leader i must have support from those with whome i serve, the same is true of my M'Lady. i am being collared soon and i will do anything my M'Lady requests. and when it all is a bit much for her i will be there to support and comfort her in any way i can even just to sit and hold her as she has done for me. i trust in my M'Lady and she trusts me, i am devoted to her not a image that is unobtainable by any human. i have willingly submitted to my M'Lady as she is and she has accepted me.i accept that there will be times that i will be weak and need reinforcement needing further learning, my M'Lady will provide for this as a submissive i must also be able to love my domminant when she is not at her best. M'Lady loves me even when i do something not quite right it is in love that she corrects this. it is in love for my domminant that i will hold and comfort her when she needs it, it is part of what i am of what we all are,human.
written in love and support of my M'Lady .

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 98

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/14/2007 5:19:39 PM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline

If I saw my Domme crying, Id try to comfort her and help her feel better. I never understood why some subs are turned off by seeing a dom/me cry. To me, it only proves that they are human. We all cry, no matter who you are. Just part of being human.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 99

RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 10/14/2007 6:05:51 PM

MistressFaye1

Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Nikko... please pass Me the Kleenex! *Sniff*

Wonderful posts and so assuring to read so much support for the human side of U/us all!!!!

Mistress Faye

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 100

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