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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 2:26:42 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


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From: P'burgh PA
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quote:

Crying is just a relief valve for stress, if people did it more often we'd have less stress in our lives. The last time I cried was 5 years ago when my Father had a massive stroke and the doctor said he didnt expect him to make it through the night. I went into the bathroom and had a good cry, composed myself and went back to sit with my Mother. I can't get emotional in front of people that bothers me for some reason.


I find this interesting as well. I tend to shut myself away when I cry, rarely cry in front of others. I am always seemingly depended on by others around me to take control of a situation or be the voice of reason in difficult or emotional situations. In times of emotional turmoil and grief I am consistantly expected to be the stong one for others to lean on. I'm not imagining this, it's what I've been told. People around me freak out when I cry, even those that don't know about my Dominant lifestyle.

Personally as a Pisces I'm emotional by nature. A stupid Kodak or Folger's commercial can make me teary. Remember the old one with the Father/daughter dancing at her wedding?? Waterworks every time it came on! I've never had a problem showing that side of me to a submissive. It's simply a part of who I am as a person, a human, a woman and a Dominant. However in times of grief I simply can't show that emotional or grieving nature.


_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 2:41:09 PM   
SusanofO


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I am a Pisces, too. Maybe that is part of the reason for me being so emotional. We can't change that, though, nor would I want to. I appreciate your reply.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 2:43:07 PM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 2:44:39 PM   
DiurnalVampire


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From: Nashville, TN
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Angel has seen me cry. I had lost someone very close to me shortly before I cam down to meet him for the first time. Something said during a conversation reminded me of my recent loss, and it just happened. He backed off and left me be. When I clamed down a bit, he put his arm around my shoulders.  He was scared to death he had done womthing to upset me that badly, he had no idea of my loss.  After I explained, we snuggled until I felt better. That earend him more respect in my eyes than just about anything else he couldhave done.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 2:56:36 PM   
SusanofO


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That would be true for me, too. I know that time I called my male submissive friend after something that happened to me with  male Dom, it was because I literally felt completely alone, and had no idea who else to call, as I don't know many locally in the bdsm world.

At the time I really, really needed to talk to someone, and preferably get a male perspective on the situation, too.

He was so very helpful and kind to me. It just made his value to me shoot up about 300%. He even called me for several days afterward, to make sure I was okay. He is to this day, someone I greatly respect. 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 3:53:58 PM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 3:14:04 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


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From: P'burgh PA
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Susan...

Great topic. Yeah fellow Piscean!

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 3:32:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I used to cry less because I'd grown up hearing that "only babies cry" and if I wanted to survive that meant I had to grow up and take care of myself, not be a baby.

But I do understand why it can feel weak to cry.


TammyJo, I can certainly identify with this.  The phrases that some of Us heard in Our younger years come to mind....   Only babies cry.  Big girls don't cry.  Real men don't cry.  I think some of that sticks with Us until We unlearn it.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 4:20:08 PM   
KaramelGoddess


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Pisces here too...it is the water sign dilemma...*sighs*.  I have been known to start weeping in the aisle at Hallmark. LOL.  But go figure, Pisces is supposed to be the one sign that gets along with every other sign...maybe that's why we're sensitive?  I definitely don't get along with everyone, born under a Scorpio moon and all.

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 4:30:04 PM   
SusanofO


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My male submissive friend is a Scorpio, a fellow water sign. I admit I can get along with almost any other sign, but he has an intensity that some might shy from, but as a fellow water sign, it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I admire him for it.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 4:40:16 PM   
KaramelGoddess


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Oh don't get Me wrong, I looooove most Scorpions, they ooze sex appeal and they mean what they say.  I appreciate both of those traits in them.  My first love was a Scorpio and I can totally relate to what you say about intensity *faints*.
 
My Mother is a Scorpio too, and I have inherited her temper, unfortunately.  Or else, I might just get along with everybody!

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 4:48:56 PM   
SusanofO


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They are sexy, aren't they? My male Scorpio submissive friend hasn't directed any temper at me (so far), although I have read they can be vengeful when they are ticked off, whereas a Pisces, IMO, usually just doesn't see the long-run point of doing that, although they might be hurt by someone.

In contrast, from what I've read, a Pisces will probably be able to determine someone's questionable motives, for instance, just as shrewdly as a Scorpio can, but may worry about "hurting their feelings", or how exactly to call them on it, while a Scorpio has no trouble simply calling a spade a spade, and damn the consequences, as far as "ruffling feathers" goes. 

IMO, this isn't all bad, in situations where someone maybe does need the so-called "fear-of-God" put into them. My male submissive friend is an attorney, and I can see how this attitude in his daily life might work to his advantage.

Maybe they struggle with doing it, but the entirety of that struggle isn't usually completely apparent, from what I've read. They are pretty secretive, generally, as far as wanting others to know their motives - even if they have absolutely nothing to hide. My dad is a Scorpio, and sometimes asking him what he had for dinner, for example, is like asking him some CIA-guarded secret. If he doesn't want you to know, you just aren't going to find out, and that's that. 

I do notice that my submssive male friend seems to have the usual Scorpio tenacity, as in - what a Scorpio wants, they are determined to get, and if they have to move a mountain to do that, most of them seem to consider that to be simply a "minor inconvenience". They are not usually "scaredy-cats", from what I can see, whether they are submissive, or Dominant. 

I have noticed they don't tend to "sugar-coat" much, when they feel they want to make a point, which can be both good and bad, IMO. I can usually count on them for a realistic assessment of a situation, but not to say anything, necessarily, just to make me "feel better", although in my experience, they can be very kind as well. This can be good for me, because I can sometimes want to see situations through "rose-colored glasses"- not always, but sometimes. My male Scorpio submissive friend gives me great advice.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 5:29:22 PM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 6:18:56 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

This question is for male submissives, but if Mistresses want to answer as well, feel free to do so, please.

I am just curious about whether it would bother a male submissive to see his Mistress crying.

If you did see her crying, what would you want to do about it? Anything?

Or would it completely turn you off? 

Just wondering.

Thanks for any replies.

- Susan  


Honestly, one of my personal goals is to make any Mistress I am with cry often. Don't tell anyone, it's my sadistic little secret.

One time, I made one cry when I gave her a trip to the Caribbean for Christmas.

Another time I made one cry when I told her how I felt about her. 

The best are when I'm with someone and we're sitting there, and she starts crying. When I ask what's the matter and she tells me that she loves me so much or that she's so happy with me or something along those lines; that gets my sadistic juices flowing. I just want to make her cry all the time after that.

In all seriousness, it's part of the course of the relationship that I want.

I not only want someone to beat the shit out of me on a regular basis, I want someone to be a part of my life and to share life's experiences with.

Sometimes there will be situations in life where tears will be shed, I wish they were all like the situations above, but that's not realistic.

As much as it pains me to see someone in tears, I know that is a part of life and I will hopefully be the rock she can count on as well as the silly putty in her hand .


_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 6:49:50 PM   
aidan


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A Dominant's a human too, subject to the same human frailties. If I saw Her crying, I'd comfort Her as best as I could. Wouldn't really be worrying about roles or dynamics at that moment.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 8:34:37 PM   
MaamJay


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Joined: 9/2/2005
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I have cried in front of a male sub with no concern or shame on My part, and only caring concern on his. I don't think it's at all "unDommely" ... it's human! As a sub, Master has seen me cry over the death of 2 of my beloved pet dogs ... both times He did the burying for me while i watched as i just wasn't up to it. That's a kindness that i will never forget. i've also had a therapeutic cry or 2 in O/our play sessions, and He has held me close and comforted me. And i have seen Him cry too ... He has a soft heart and when O/our new little dogs went missing from O/our new home just one week after W/we got here He was beside Himself with worry and frustration that He couldn't find them and He cried lots of tears. i had never before seen Him so distressed. Even though i was stressed too by their loss, and they had got out under His supervision so it could have been seen as His fault, it just brought out the most tender and loving side of me as i cared for Him. He is MORE of a Master in my eyes for being able to release His feelings in such a healthy way. The good news is that they were both found perfectly OK, just tired and sore after walking 10km of the 5000km journey back towards their old home!

So Susan, I think the count is definitely IN ... any male subbie who thought less of You as their Domme if they saw You cry ... isn't really caring for You! Take heart, being HUMAN is the best way to be!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to aidan)
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RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 9:14:53 PM   
SusanofO


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Thanks for the replies, folks. It appears there are many empathic male subs and resonable Mistresses out there. It is nice to see especially in subs so young, like aidan.

SlaveBlutarsky: Your "Sadism" is the kind I think many Domme women may actually enjoy, hehe.

Ma'amJay: If my dogs died, someone else would have to bury them too. I couldn't deal. They are my babies!

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 9:19:48 PM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 10:16:13 PM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline
ORIGINAL: SusanofO

This question is for male submissives, but if Mistresses want to answer as well, feel free to do so, please.

I am just curious about whether it would bother a male submissive to see his Mistress crying.

If you did see her crying, what would you want to do about it? Anything?

Or would it completely turn you off? 

Just wondering.

Thanks for any replies.

- Susan  

For me, I cannot stand to see anyone in emotional pain. Let alone someone I care deeply for. Much as I couldnt turn away a starving animal, I would be unable to turn away from someone who was hurting. I have a very dear friend who is a Domme and I have only the highest respect for her. I have been there for her when things go wrong around her and I will be there in the future if she so desires it simply because it is in my nature to help her feel better in any way I can. When I was younger, I learned that if I even so much as tried not to help someone who was hurting emotionally, I ended up feeling guilty for days on end about it. I dont have a Mistress in my life, but if I did and I saw her crying, I would move heaven and hell to make her feel better.

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/6/2007 10:43:10 PM   
SusanofO


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That is a very empathic response. After reading this thread, my mind is much more at ease about possibly exhibiting my emotions to a male submissive as a Domme. Thanks.

- Susan 

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/7/2007 12:11:52 AM   
womanworshipper


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Joined: 3/27/2005
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Nothing original to add, just want to agree with pixelslave. i'd be surprised if any sub or slave expected his Mistress to appear invulnerable. First thoughts would be to rush over with a hanky and ask if there's anything you can do.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/7/2007 12:26:14 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
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I appreciate your reply, thank you.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to womanworshipper)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/7/2007 3:09:38 PM   
slavekal


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She's human.  She is a chick.  You gotta expect her to cry at some point.  Of course it would not be a turn off.  If she cries every two seconds, for no good reason, then it's silly, but she is allowed normal human emotions.  Unless Mistress is a robot or a Vulcan, maybe.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Male subs/slaves - would it bother you to see your ... - 4/7/2007 3:14:03 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

Hi Susan!
Yes it would bother me!  It would bother me a great deal, but not in the sense of any concerns about her dominance as my Mistress!  Instead, I would be worried that something had upset my Mistress and I'd want to do whatever I could to help her deal with what had upset her and do something to change the situation to make it better for her if I could! 
 
If she needed a shoulder to cry on as she grieved, someone to listen to her vent, share a sad story with, or unload unpleasant news that she'd just received, I'd want to be there for her and give her my undivided attention as she did.  I'd offer what advice I could, or simply listen if that was what was required for the particular situation.  If there was more I could do, such as brainstorming or researching a solution to her problem, I'd do that too!  At any rate, the bottom line is that I'd want to help.  After all, as her submissive, I'm there in part to make her life easier.  So, unless instructed otherwise, that would naturally be part of my job.
 
In short, I'd be concerned about my Mistress if I saw her crying and would only want to help make things better for her.
 
 - pixel


You're a Treasure, pixel. TM

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 60
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