Really looking or just there?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Really looking or just there?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Really looking or just there?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 10:30:35 AM

TantricOne

Posts: 28
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

Post #: 1

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 10:38:50 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

While it's indeed frustrating to have your messages ignored you have to look at it much like telemarketing calls.
You'll have to work the laws of numbers, not be discouraged by rudeness and all the no's and just keep plugging away with your eyes on the prize or leave it alone.
suzanne

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 2

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 10:40:04 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking,
I'm not looking at present as i am involved in a relationship.
I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist.
Maybe there is a perfect for them!! Who are you to say there perfect dom isn't out there?
In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real.
Now we are getting to your real whinge. Ok so its rude not to reply blah blah blah but there is no law to say we have to either.
There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)
Again your not perfect may be someone else perfect.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 3

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 10:42:37 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

First thing to keep in mind, hon, is that a lot of female submissives get flooded with email every day. They just can't reply to them all, even with the handy insta-reply buttons.

As to searching for the "perfect" whatever, they may not exist, but knowing what you are really looking for helps a lot with the winnowing process. Some folks are not comfortable with dishing out direct rejection, especially if they self-identify as submissive, which also leads to a lot of unsent Email.

Finally, yes there are a lot of folks who are just here to play some games, get a little ego boost by sucking up attention, and who have no intention of meeting face to face. I'm afraid that's just life.

Best advice I can offer is not to wait for a reply, but allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised when you get one any way. Be cool, hang out on the message boards, and let the regulars get a better idea of who you are - folks will start coming out of the woodwork once your personality gets a chance to come out and shine. It may take a while before you actually find someone, but it can and will happen. Until then, just hang out.

~S

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 4

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 10:45:24 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i've received no responses from Doms before though they have received and read my messages to them. i suppose my profile would scare them away because i'm with Daddy however i'm allowed to meet and date (with His prior approval). oh well, that's their lost not mine since i've caught the interest of 2 from here.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 5

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 10:58:22 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

'On here' can mean a lot of things. There's the 'profile' side, for lack of a better expression; then there's the message boards.

Many people on the boards are here just for that. They have partners or in an exploratory phase in their minds, such that they aren't quite ready for a partner.

Even when it does get to the point of 'hunting' (or being 'hunted' - my favorite pastime), people set whatever standards for whatever reason. Usually a little experience under your belt, especially as a submissive, means that you require a certain level of experience from a dominant.

For my part specifically, it's all unicorns and rainbows. Wouldn't it be nice to wake up every morning thinking you were the luckiest person you could possibly be? You would think that were improbable, wouldn't you?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 6

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 11:12:35 AM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)?
I'm really looking, just keep running into alot of Doms between 25 and 35 that are married and/or poly or are just looking for casual play partners. Cyber wanking is a huge turn off.

I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist.
My standards are as follows: 1. Must be employed. 2. Must have own transportation. 3. Must have all hair and front teeth. Not all of us are that picky.
In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)
It seems like a waste of time to reply to Doms from other states when I can't re-locate and Doms that are old enough to be my father, which I would have nothing in common with. I figure it's better not to reply than to hurt their feelings.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 7

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 11:12:43 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I'm not looking. I'm here for the forums.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 8

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 11:12:56 AM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)?

Well I'm not into cyber anything. Strictly looking for something real time. Yes, I am truly looking, however, looking for a partner is not the sole focus of my life.

I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist.

I'm not looking for a perfect dominant but I'm looking for the perfect dominant for ME. Somewhere out there is a person who is just perfect for GeekyGirl!

In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

I don't reply to the majority of my emails because most of them don't meet the criteria spelled out in my profile. I figure if you can't be polite enough to read my profile then I can't be polite enough to respond. As for getting real, I've been contacted by literally hundreds of people on this site and only one met my criteria well enough to go on a first date..by date number two, I realized he wasn't what I was looking for. Such is life.

Yes, I am looking for a partner, but I am looking for a partner who is perfect for me. I'm 24yrs old...I've got my whole life ahead of me. I see no reason to settle at this point. If I can't find Mr. Perfect, I'll just be alone. I happen to enjoy my own company quite a bit!

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 9

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 11:21:30 AM

SquirtMistress

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline

I like my sub to be looking for "US".
So he is looking, and not looking all at the same time. Does this make sense?
I would like for us both to agree on a "third" M or F, we want our prospect to catch both of our eyes, and its tough, theres a lot of names, and profiles and such, After a while things run together.
We have yet to find anyone, and are happy where we are at, but maybe... just maybe there will be a "perfect" one for us.

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 10

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 11:25:07 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

Why didn't you just continue your previous whine instead of starting a new thread?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 11

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 1:38:27 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

You sound a little bitter TantricOne.
Some subs are looking and some are not. You have met a few but they obviously didnt work out because they were looking for the perfect dominant. In other words you and them did not work out but thats not to say that they can not go on to meet who they would consider to be the perfect Dom (he just happens not to be you) and you going on to meet 'your perfect sub', though obviously in your mind there is no such thing!
You must have a mindset of what would be your perfect sub and yet if you actually believe that your ideal does not exist then what hope have you got?

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 12

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 2:12:07 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

Why didn't you just continue your previous whine instead of starting a new thread?

~stef

now a little music to accentuate the alto chorus

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 13

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 2:13:04 PM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

I'm here for the forums...I think

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 14

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 2:26:42 PM

whisperedsighs

Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

Reading your profile would lead any sub to think that you are looking for instant meet up and relationship. Your profile also implies, ( in my opinion ), "don't waste my time", so by not answering your email, maybe they just don't want to waste their time. You say you won't play phone tag or internet tag, but I know for a fact that many subs use the time spent in email/IM conversations, and phone conversations to get to know someone a little before meeting them in person. Perhaps you should revamp your profile a little. I know the first thing I do when I get an email is look at the person's profile, if they are not a match, depending on how many I have I may or may not answer.

_____________________________

oh my god that was so wrong! .... again please!

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 15

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 3:59:46 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I liken the "search" to sending out messages in a bottle. Some will be found, others won't. Some will be understood and, again, other's won't.

For me...I have a kind of "whatever" attitude about the other side. I've met some awesome people, but for every awesome person there are 10 HNG's standing in line behind them. It's the internet, and I expect to get back exactly what I've paid for this site...

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 16

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 4:35:15 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

The only emails which get no response from me, and mind you those are 95% of the emails I get, are the one liners and others which demonstrate the person did not read my profile and is doing net fishing. You got to be pretty creative to catch my attention while net fishing. I've got a Daddy so I know what I desrie exists. :) but not many are up for the task. It's really OK. Reality is that most of us are really not compatible. This is not a whole lot to have in common IMO.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 17

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 5:01:16 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

mmmmmm do you send a message to each an every person that sends you junk mail in you mail box at home. You know all those flyers and advertisements shows all the good they have... ? Why not? Those people took time to make those flyers and spent money to get it sent to your house. How rude of you not to respond to each and every one of them.

Gosh just a simple "Thank You.. but no thanks"

Interesting thing.. when a flyer comes my way and strikes my interest... I take a closer look.. and might even go to the store.... but the rest.. just get tossed....

So I guess you tired of getting the toss?

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 4/6/2007 5:02:02 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 18

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 6:10:36 PM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline

As i was taught manners i have answered all but a few and those were due to illness. I even answered the disgustig one liners asking what size i was. Granted i told them off or rather told them they were crude, little boys that needed to go home to mommy and grow up before they started talking to grown women.

I check the profile of all who send me messages. I have yet to met a honest Dom. all so far have been players, fakes, or wanna be. I feel like giving up but i keep hoping that some day we will meet if i just keep looking, learning, and growing.

patina

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 19

RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/6/2007 6:42:39 PM

sillygirl09

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I am truly looking. I also do answer every email if only to say no thanks, however if I've done that and they email me again then they get no response.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Really looking or just there?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078