ownedgirlie
Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania If the opportunity to learn about this never came to you then there would have been no choice really, would there have been? In other words, if you could take back learning about WIITWD, would you? I see my inner being different than pursuing a relationship with Ds overtones. There never was a choice, because I was already naturally submitting in my relationships, yearning to have what I thought were "abnormal" desires met. Before knowing there were actually "normal" people who did this, I thought I was crazy. But my earliest memories, long before dating was even in my realm of thinking, bring me to a place where my thoughts were subservient to men, and my fantasies were of being used by them. Throughout my life I wanted to change that about me, prior to knowing this was an actual way of living that people actually did. Even after knowing there was a word for this and that I wasn't mentally ill, I wished I was not submissive. The road was too hard for me at the time. It's not that I didn't want to know about D/s, M/s, BDSM, LMNOP, I didn't want to HAVE to know about it. I wished I were different. I no longer think that way. I embrace who and what I am, and I love submitting to my Master. This way of life for me comes with some challenges, but I would not change how fulfilled I am or the love I now know for a minute. It was a painful road for me to get here, and many times I did not want to be on it. But now that I'm here, I'd take it all over again.
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