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How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 6:15:09 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Ok, a lot of threads have been dancing around this particular subject of late, but haven't quite hit the nail on the head. I may not be the only One thinking along this line, but some of the threads have come very close without getting the actual point. I would have posted this to a more specialized board, but if I had picked just one catagory, there would have been certain related specifics left out.

For lack of a better term, how did you claim your title? By title, I mean any of the specific names that you use, meaning Master, Mistress, slave, etc.? How much experience did you have in the lifestyle before Y/you took it, or it was bestowed on Y/you? Do you ever get offended when someone proclaims Themselves "Master" (etc.) without any real time experience? What is your reaction to people who proclaim certain titles without any hands on experience? I have certain opinions on this, but I would like to hear from a variety of viewpoints.

Post #: 1

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 6:23:46 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't have a title other than what I'll earn through my scholarship and teaching -- some day I hope that title is Full Professor.

I have a name that my slave may call me ("Mistress") and a name my trainees may call me ("Milady") but I would never, ever ask someone or expect someone to call me those things.

I'm really just TammyJo to anyone else.

Now I know that titles are popular so I'll read this thread with interest to try and figure out why and how they are choosen by others.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 2

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 6:31:45 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

When I began this life, my first words upon hearing what it entailed was "Are you fucking looney?!"

But the more I explored, the more I liked what I saw. The more I explored, the more I came to realize that top, dominant, master, etc just really really didn't work for me. But then, neither did bottom actually. I didn't want all that control. In fact, obedience was a particular thrill for me. So, when I finally felt I had to pick, submissive came to me rather easily.

That being said, "slave" was NOT something I wanted. NO WAY, NO HOW, IT'D BE A COLD DAY IN HELL BEFORE THAT HAPPENED!!

So imagine my surprise, and concern, and fear and oh hell, ABJECT TERROR, the first time my Master called me "slave." Again, it was "NO WAY, NO HOW, NOPE NOPE NOPE!!" He just smiled and let me stew it over.

And I did...for a long long time. Finally, I realized I could fight it all I wanted. I could say "I'm not a slave" and yet... everything I did smacked of slavery to him. He put me through some rigorous and difficult times. Submissive or not, under any other circumstances, I'd have said "Fuck off" and walked away. But I didn't. He didn't do or say anything that made me want to stay really, but stay I did...and the more he did - the more he treated me as his slave - the more I connected to him, cared for him, thrilled to his touch, loved him.

And so, I gave up the ghost. I submitted. (mostly I submitted to myself and my fears) I stopped fighting and simply acknowledged that even if never again, with no other person, would I ever say I was slave...but I was, and I am, and I will be his slave - for as long as he wants me.

And I guess hell did have a cold day - maybe quite a few of them, because now...

With him, all I can really think of is to be his slave.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 4/12/2007 6:35:20 AM >

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 6:44:56 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Tammyjo, always a pleasure to see you post. Thank you for your view.

Juliet, thank you for the view into your personal history. Kind of the nuts and bolts of the idea that I am looking for. I think everyone has a story behind certain things, and this subject is one of them. My thanks for sharing this bit of yourself.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 4

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 6:50:38 AM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Actually, even "spanklette" was given to me along with my training collar. And, when both were given to me, it was actually assumed by many in our circle that I would eventually become a dominant. But, as we progressed through the blur of play parties, Gentlemen's evenings, munches, and private play...I just never felt the need to dominate. I topped a few times, at the request of others, but it never really suited me.

Submission fits like a glove. Actually, Daddy's little girl fits even better. And, so spanklette truly claimed her title...submissive.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 5

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 6:52:44 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

I don’t lay claim to any title. I do however refer to myself as a slave simply as a means of identification on this site.

A person can call themselves anything that they wish to do so; it in no way impacts my life or my own reality.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 6:52:44 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Thank you, spanklette. I do happen to think it is quite the cute little name. You must have been very proud to receive it.

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 7

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:02:22 AM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline

When I started out, I was very nieve and chest thumping, I called myself Mistress from the start although I had a problem with that title since it was traditionally used to describe the "other" woman. As I gleaned knowledge and experience, I dropped the Mistress part personally and started telling those that addressed me as such to call me Ma'am if they needed to greet me with a title. Now I am Loren or Ms Loren as some of my closer friends refer to me. For others I am Ms L, Ms L7 Ms BBBTBW or some other variation of names I have used. I answer to all of them There are still some that are not comfortable greeting me as anything but Mistress or Ma'am...so I allow it....I have come to realize regardless of the title, I am who I am.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 8

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:04:44 AM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I was...actually, it took them a while to come up with something that would work on both sides of the whip. I wish I could say that I thought of the name myself, but alas, it was my chosen moniker.

The reason I still use it is because of the spirit in which it was given. I was named spanklette of House of _____. spanklette was mine to keep.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 9

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:18:56 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

The handle I use in other chat forems id THELORDEWILLIAM,this was given to me in nam by a famous general,When we wanted a diffucult thing done we would say"give this job to lordewilliam he can get it done "and it stuck.I think its a bit much for this site so it lies dormant only to be used in other chat on other sites.....bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 10

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:21:02 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

For lack of a better term, how did you claim your title? By title, I mean any of the specific names that you use, meaning Master, Mistress, slave, etc.?

never "claimed" my title - i "discovered" that i was submissive after chatting with a Dom online 4yrs ago. in August, that title changed to "daughter" when i met Daddy.

How much experience did you have in the lifestyle before Y/you took it, or it was bestowed on Y/you?

had no experience per se however Daddy's not interested in training me either so there was no need to bestow anything on me except His chain and collar.

quote:

Do you ever get offended when someone proclaims Themselves "Master" (etc.) without any real time experience?

it doesn't offend me however it would be a concern because i have seen profiles of young Doms with x-amount years of experience of their "domly" ways and they're only 23 or 25. not saying they're not "experts" as they claim to be but a young Dom wouldn't have the same interest and/or goals that a submissive of my age would.

quote:

What is your reaction to people who proclaim certain titles without any hands on experience?

so are you saying that since i'm in a ldr my submissive experience doesn't matter because Daddy and i aren't 24/7? seems kinda presumptuous of you to assume that hands on experience is the only way to go in this community. i do take offense to those who feel that since i'm not in a 24/7 BDSM with Daddy then i'm not a a twue submissive. i'm no less of a submissive even if i had constant r/t with Daddy however we have a strong D/s dynamic that is totally committed. i would like a 24/7 D/s with Him yet our professions and other factors keep us grounded where we currently reside. if we were living closer then certain aspects of our relationship would change for example, i wouldn't be allowed to meet and date others. there's no standard rule of what a D/s relationship should and should not be ...so our ldr is unique and works only for us likewise everyone else's is unique and works for them.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:26:48 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

I don't claim any title or place. Just be oneself.

Sure, CM has a listing and - unfortunately - I have to adhere to listing myself as submissive. However, that isn't what I am but how I am to one individual. Labels and titles can be helpful, but more often they are restrictive. They place a picture in someones mind that may or maynot be correct.

So I am me - .dark. - and I participate in BDSM practises plus my spelling can be awful. Other than that, talk to me and get to know me.

We are all human after all (well, save Ron - I haven't worked him out yet... )...

Peace and Rapture

< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 4/12/2007 7:40:50 AM >

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:28:43 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

when i first entered "The Scene" i had already a fair understanding of how i indentified myself within itthough my real time experience was almost non-existant, i would describe myself as "a submissive" as a statement of fact about my character just as i would say i am "a brunette", "a bit chubby" and "bad in the mornings" these are objective statements about my person and character.

i did not allow myself, or others, to refer to me as a slave until i had been in service and lived in service. i thought of it as much the same as my career ... i didn't refer to myself as a teacher until i was qualified and had stood in a classroom or two - i was a trainee or a student until i was officially ,,, ya know .. the real mcoy. it would have been an empty title for me otherwise - like medical students who call themselves doctors when the have never touched a live patient.

being single and not in service is difficult though ... i am back to referring to myself as "a submissive" again ... because i am not actively serving ... in my mind ... i am not a slave .. if someone asked what my goal was .. or what i was seeking .. then i would say "slavery" .. not "submission"

this is just the way i think of myself, please dont shout at me if this is not your feeling or understanding of "slave status" *s*

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 13

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:39:36 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

my "title" of slave had to be earned, it was something i became once i became someone's property. although i knew instantly upon discovery of the D/s lifestyle that i longed and needed to be a slave, i understood that i was not a slave until i was actually owned.

as for "submissive", that is not a title, it is simply what i was/am. just as i'm female, black, and a scorpio, i'm a submissive. just the way i was born, for some odd reason. :)

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 14

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:45:01 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

How did you claim your title?

She was laying spread eagle on the floor and I placed my right foot firmly on the small of her back and shouted, "I proclaim that all of this land as far as the eye can see and as deep as the Domidong can reach to be the property of Domiguy. May her legs never cross, may her jaw never tire, may her breasts never sag and if possible may her snatch remain fresh and unsullied.".......

I then rammed the Flag of Domiland into her hiney and wept.

_____________________________

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 15

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:45:38 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

As I told beth when I met her; "The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Merc, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!" ...I mean Master.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 4/12/2007 7:49:38 AM >

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 16

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:48:16 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

i called myself a submissive when entering this lifestyle because that was the direction i was pulled. It felt natural, seemed natural and so i just followed whatever part of myself that lead me this way.

Master calls me "slave" because i am his collared slave and it is the basis of our relationship.

My original "RiotGirl" was given to me by a guy (who thought he was a Dom) gave me from a song by good charlotte and the attitude of the song seemed to fit.

Devilslilsister comes from the song "Twisted Transistor" and it fit for me as my brother has always teased me that i am the spawn of Satan. He even uses it to explain why i'm the only one in the family that was not baptized.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 17

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:54:29 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

For lack of a better term, how did you claim your title? By title, I mean any of the specific names that you use, meaning Master, Mistress, slave, etc.? How much experience did you have in the lifestyle before Y/you took it, or it was bestowed on Y/you?

I don't use a title except in my personal relationships with those who I have formed that specific relationship with.

But I've always used what felt right and what I felt I lived up to. It took a long time to accept myself as a dominant, a few years of playing around and wriggling into it, but eventually, there it was.

quote:

Do you ever get offended when someone proclaims Themselves "Master" (etc.) without any real time experience?

Nope, more amused.

quote:

What is your reaction to people who proclaim certain titles without any hands on experience? I have certain opinions on this, but I would like to hear from a variety of viewpoints.

Amusement, a bit of spite in hoping they realize what they are doing before they make a total fool of themselves, otherwise, just move on.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 18

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 7:59:51 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

The really really simple version goes something like this.

First I discovered this lifestyle and learned a little about it.

From that I developed a general idea of where I wanted to go with it, who I wanted to be. I began defining for myself what that was and what it would require of me.

I gave it a name.

I worked to become that which I had envisioned, I became that which I had named.

That's the really, really short and abstracted version of events. I think to some extent its what many do, regardless of how they identify themselves. They envision themselves as being this or that, and then move towards it. Sometimes that vision changes in unexpected ways, we discover things about ourselves, capabilities we didn't know we had. As our vision changes, so does what we are moving towards.

I consider myself a master, that's my particular brand of dominance. What exactly that entails today is not exactly the same as when I began. Who I am as a master has changed over time as I've learned, gained new insights, and grown as a person. I expect that process will continue to happen in the future, its something I look forward too. Keeps my busy and gives me something to do.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 19

RE: How did you claim your title? - 4/12/2007 8:07:35 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Some very excellent answers. I hope this thread reamins thought provoking.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 20

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