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to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 6:38:54 AM

misspage

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/4/2007
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I know that we have all gotten messages that we don't respond too. I know that i have sent out mails that never recived a return responce. I tend not to let that bother me.... If the person in question was interested i felt that would have said something in return. Ok now as to why i posted all that ramble. I recived a mail from a person i felt was in my best interest not to reply to then today i get a mail that says well are you going to reply or just be rude? Now i could have been very rude within a reply but that's just not my way nor is it respectful.

So do you all think it rude when you don't get a reply back or do you feel like you are being rude when you don't reply?

Post #: 1

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 6:41:19 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Since a reply was requested, why not go ahead and send one. Tell them how you really feel. Only if you want to, of course. Or ignore them. Either way, I get the impression they aren't going to like your response.

(in reply to misspage)

Post #: 2

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 6:42:24 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
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I reply to all e-mails I receive, even if it is to tell someone I am not interested.

In my opinion, if someone took the time to send me a message, I can take the time to reply. They may not like my reply, but then again, I may not have liked their message.

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Post #: 3

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 6:52:50 AM

aSlavesLife

Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
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I do feel that it is rude to not reply. We get tons of mail, and we reply to every one of them, even the ones that just say " hi ". We even respond to the obvious form letters with a brief letter of our own advising them that they might have better luck if they actually read the profiles and tailor letters accordingly.

I have never let it bother me if I don't get a reply, and kind of see it as the person doing me a favor because they have let me know due to their lack of response that they don't hold courtesy in the same regard as I do.

I know that a bunch of parrots will give the standard mantra of " Do you reply to every piece of junk mail? ", but this response is intellectually dishonest and a false analogy at best. This is a forum and community, and the senders of mail here are individuals, not corporations that are trying to get you to buy a particular brand of detergent or vehicle.

Sure it is time consuming, but if the person has taken the time to write, both L and myself feel that it is only courteous to send a reply.

Your case may be different. You say that you felt it was in your best interest not to reply. I would presume to think that the letter you received was vulgar or otherwise inappropriate. While we do respond even to those, I can certainly understand someone choosing to not reply to them.

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Post #: 4

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 6:57:31 AM

Nikolette

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Joined: 10/2/2004
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*hangs head* I'll be honest.... I've sent that sort of second email. Only mine tends to be of the variation: "I noticed you read my message and was wondering if you were interested. If not, no problem, best of luck."

There are three reasons why I do this:

1- I often get wrapped up in too many messages and miss replying to people I might ordinarily want to. Its because I tend to pass by messages because I want to reply when I have more time than just a simple. "No thanks, not interested." Ironically I am more consistent at rejection emails. So I think maybe its possible they just put it off and forgot like I occasionally do.

and 2- I almost always reply to a letter that was thoughtfully written and seemed sincere. (and even reply to most that aren't. I reply to 95% of my mail) And so when I send out messages that are like sincere and polite - I do anticipate a response back. If I send out a tiny line or a random comment or compliment- I don't expect a reply. But the general idea is that I wish to be treated as I treat others and am curious when there is an absence of said treatment.

3- I really liked something about the person and they stayed on my mind and I am ~REALLY~ hoping that they will respond back.

Many people say that it isn't rude to not reply to someone because they never asked to be messaged to begin with. And I too once thought that. But months ago it occurred to me- Yes... I DO ask to be messaged. Since I am on a personals site... that is exactly what the profile is. An invitation to be contacted. So unless I say something like "Don't mail me." "Not looking" etc etc or they haven't read my profile correctly or at all to see if they FIT the invitation, or are exempt from it (ie wrong age or gender)...... I do owe them some sort of response for the sake of good manners- assuming that manners matters to me at all. Because to me when you are on a personals site that is an initiation of contact. But its all about perspective.

Even if I do send a second query email I don't get all worked up about things, and if someone sends no reply its ultimately no skin off my back. And if this person was irritated you didn't reply- it too shouldn't be any skin off your back. If you felt like its in your best interest not to reply to the person who messaged you- it probably STILL isn't in your best interest.

< Message edited by Nikolette -- 4/14/2007 7:01:34 AM >

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Post #: 5

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 6:57:54 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
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From: Pennsylvania
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I don't get bent out of shape about people viewing my profile, or not responding to me. I also don't care what others think if I don't respond to their pm's. I don't understand why people are so sensy about on-line stuff. I figure they have nothing else going on in their world and this is their life.

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Post #: 6

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:05:00 AM

Nikolette

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Joined: 10/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife
We even respond to the obvious form letters with a brief letter of our own advising them that they might have better luck if they actually read the profiles and tailor letters accordingly.

Ha! That is great. I do that too.

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Post #: 7

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:06:03 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I don't get bent out of shape about people viewing my profile, or not responding to me. I also don't care what others think if I don't respond to their pm's. I don't understand why people are so sensy about on-line stuff. I figure they have nothing else going on in their world and this is their life.

Ditto. I don't really send out too many PMs to folks, anyway. Anybody can PM me, I don't give a shit, it's stated in my profile. If they seem cool, friendly, and polite, I'll respond. If not, they're ignored, no biggie.

All in all, though, the doms that have PM'd me to "test the waters" so to speak have been pretty polite. They'll let it go if I state that I'm happily married and monogamous.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 8

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:07:30 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I always feel guilty if I do not respond.
But sometimes no responce is better then saying the only thing that comes to mind.
Geeee, sometimes it's hard to speak with respect when you want to tell someone to take a flying.
Other times, the question asked requires a well thought out reply that I intend to answer, but loose track of time only to realize months later I never responded. Eventually all I can do is shrug, it's the Net.

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(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 9

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:07:33 AM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

In a way, it is rude not to reply to messages.

If a person is just sending cheesy or smutty one liners, then generally they should not expect a reply.

However, if a person is being polite and putting a little effort into their message, it is only polite to message back. I've messaged many people, and hardly ever get a reply. It's very annoying. Especially given that I do put effort into pretty much all of my messages. I'm always polite. I never send out one liners.

So yeah, if you are on a personels site, you should expect to be messaged. And I do think the least you could do is reply to people that are putting effort in.

(in reply to misspage)

Post #: 10

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:09:31 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I get mail at my home, unsolicited, I don't respond to it. I don't feel bad about it. I throw it away for the junk it is. You should see some of the messages I get. It's not rude to not answer that sort of crap.

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Post #: 11

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:10:08 AM

Nikolette

Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline

KatyLied:

Yes I have NO idea why people are weirded out about other's viewing their profile.... It seems absurd to me. I look at other people's profile all the time. If they aren't someone I'd obviously be interested in- often I'm just curious about them in the platonic way. Additionally if people make interesting posts on the message boards 70% of the time I will look at their profile just because I'd like to know more about them.

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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 12

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:13:01 AM

Fnordstrum

Posts: 164
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

I reply to any message I get, unless it was something really stupid/insulting, then I'd just ignore it...

But yeah, as Domin8tingUrDrmz put it, "If someone took the time to send me a message, I can take the time to reply."

I'd hope for the same from anyone I sent a message to. (Of course, I wouldn't expect a reply from anyone I sent a message to (Unless I already knew them of course), but it'd be nice.)

Fnord.

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Post #: 13

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:14:20 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

I agree with katylied here. Just ignore it and move on. Personally, I don't even read any mail that I receive. It is deleted unread.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to misspage)

Post #: 14

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:17:15 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I get mail at my home, unsolicited, I don't respond to it. I don't feel bad about it. I throw it away for the junk it is. You should see some of the messages I get. It's not rude to not answer that sort of crap.

LOL....can you imagine Ed McMahon sending a snotty follow-up letter to everyone who didn't respond to the "You may have already won....." letters we all get every year? "I went to all the trouble of sending you and seventeen billion other people letters, the least you could do is respond and tell me personally you're not interested, hyohhhhhhhh!"

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Post #: 15

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:19:33 AM

misspage

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Generally i do respond to all mails sent to me because i do like being treated nicely even if i'm not interested it's nice to atleast hear something. I don't get mad or send mails back saying people are rude if they don't reply, i figure if they were really interested in knowing who i was or were attracted they would have.

There was a lot of drama surounding this person on one of the other forums here so my first thought was "oh no way am i getting wrapped up in that kind of stinky mess." And the msg he sent was a one liner, i didn't really think much more about it until i got the msg this morning asking me was i just going to be rude. Now i'm feeling kind of bad i didn't but a girl never wants to be sucked into someone elses mess.

(in reply to KaineD)

Post #: 16

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:25:03 AM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

I reply to everyone but then again I don't get a lot of e-mail. And normally it's from people that I've been e-mailing with. But in this case I might let it go or a simple no thank you.

(in reply to misspage)

Post #: 17

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:25:42 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

FR

I definitely do not respond to all emails. It does not annoy me or amuse me anymore to get emails from prospective doms or submissive men showing interest in me, it just goes into the "Im not responding pile" 99% of the time because it is a one liner. I find if I email these people back and "explain" what I wrote in my profile in the first place, I have a Daddy and I am not interested, it only feeds them. I get snotty and defensive replies. I have better things to do with the time I get online.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 4/14/2007 7:26:59 AM >

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Post #: 18

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:28:10 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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Another strange phenemenon on this site, when you respond with a "thanks, but no thanks", is that, often, the next email from that person is so verbally abusive. Or they think they've got their foot in the door and bombard you with all kinds of emails and request for yahoo ids. It's easier to just not respond most times.

(in reply to misspage)

Post #: 19

RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 7:30:15 AM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I try to reply to e-mails which seem to thoughtfully address my profile specifically. I do not think it's rude at all to forgo a reply to a canned e-mail that most likely has been sent to a hearty percentage of women on the website. Nor do I think it's rude to not respond to any introductory e-mail if I don't feel like doing so.

If someone is trying to sell me something I don't want, I throw away the advertisement. I thoughtfully take my time in communicating with people that have potential as someone I would like to get to know, and I would much rather spend what little time I have to e-mail, on people who I may possibly get to know beyond a 'sorry, not interested' e-mail. I think that those I do communicate with can appreciate that I have more time and focus for them.

Besides.... It is ever so irritating to send a 'thanks for the e-mail, I'm not interested, good luck anyway' reply, to then get a whiny e-mail back about why I am not interested, and what a great guy he really is if only I would give him a chance. Grrrr.....

< Message edited by MistressLorelei -- 4/14/2007 8:26:44 AM >

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 20

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