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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:36:54 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
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Oh and Kaine...you should make it an American profile fairly close to a metropolitan area. LA, NY, Chigago.
And watch the floodgates open

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:36:56 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
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From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

but some of us that value courtesy feel that it is only right to respond.

Then please stop sending messages such as:

got any face pics
where ya live
I'm in your area next weekend, want to get together
would you like to have a male slave
I'll switch for you

This is just like receiving junk mail at home and deserves the same response

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 4/14/2007 9:37:25 AM >

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:38:51 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KaineD

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

And if grown adults can't seem to understand that no response is a response, that's not my problem. I'd put money on the idea that if ANYONE here who was searching got an email in their inbox that peaked their interest, they would respond to that email.

There's a thing called manners. It's fine ignoring smutty mails or cheesy one liners. But I think it is only polite to reply to someone that has put effort in. The question comes into my mind everytime I see on someones profile "it takes ALOT to grab my interest"... just what does it take to grab someones interest?

You really can't tell an awful lot about a person from one message. No, no response isn't a response. I simply assume everyone that doesn't respond to me falls into two categories. Number one, they have too many messages to reply to, or simply forget to reply to my message. Number two, they're stuck up, ignorant, and rude, and they think their shit smells like roses.

Oh, how horrible it must be to have an inbox full of messages from people interested in you.

Etiquette books and guides disagree.

No response is a response and it is considered a polite and appropriate response.

Any response when you are not interested risks sending the message that further contact or communication is possible. It is rude to mislead someone. Thus if you are not interested in someone, do not respond.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 4/14/2007 10:02:02 AM >

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:41:23 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
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quote:

No response is a response and it is considered a polite and appropriate response.

Amen, TammyJo

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:47:56 AM

NewShoes

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Kaine....you're putting a good fight!!! You have all the right arguments but I learned over at the b.com forums on this subject, it 's like banging your ahead against the wall.

Hell the opening line of my profile goes to being polite enough to reply because EMAIL IS FREE here!!!

Somebody suggested switching genders and boy that is something I wish you girls would think about. Remember it then would be you doing the hunting, sending out the emails.
You sign up here, you find say ohhhh 30 people from around the US you write to....and then you watch and watch as each email is opened but no reply....
(Where is Genesis, " There's No Reply At All,")...
More mail is opened and nothing...
It is damn discouraging...because you sent an email that clearly showed that you read the other persons profile. You were polite and courteous in your note. And now nothing in return....
And all you want is a simple "Thanks but No Thanks" if there isn't a match. But you don't get NOTHING:)
Again, it is damn discouraging.

I use to like to send out a complimentary emails when I read a profile I liked but wasn't a match for 'some' reason.
Again, most women aren't even polite enough to say, "Thanks" for a simple compliment!

Over at b.com if you are a paying member, you can not only tell if the mail was read but if the person deleted it too.
I guess that would be some sort of reply since the mail is in the trash:)

Now if I was a girl getting all of the mail, like the guys who sent a rude/crude note. I would not only delete the mail but put them on block so they couldn't fire another email back at me.

But It only takes five seconds to type, "Thanks but no Thanks" and click send...
Hell you don't even have to type it out each time, cut and paste it once and fire away.
See it's not that hard to be polite to the guys who sent you a POLITE email!!!

Cheers,
Barry

< Message edited by NewShoes -- 4/14/2007 9:49:10 AM >

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:48:15 AM

aSlavesLife

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

.

No response is a response and it is considered a polite and appropriate response.

Do you really believe this? So when you wave at a taxi and they keep going ( no response ), this is a polite and appropriate response? You say hello to someone in the checkout line and they stick their nose in the air and turn their head is a polite and appropriate response? A business line that hangs up on you when you call is a polite and appropriate response?

Wow, no wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket!

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:49:18 AM

igor2003

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I know that people are here for many different reasons. Personally, I am looking for a compatible partner. So I look at a lot of profiles. If anything grabs my attention at first glance then I'll look through the whole thing. If they say they are here only for the message boards, or if they say they won't read their email, or if they say anything that would make me think there wold be no compatibility, then I won't waste their time or mine. But if it looks like there may be some possibility, and if they have listed "Actively seeking: submissive men", then i will write out a letter of introduction, commenting on what they have listed and stated in their profile, and telling a little about myself and why I am responding to their profile.

So...if I take the time to carefully read their profile, and if I take the time to respond to what their profile says, and if I take the time to tell them a little about myself, and if I am cordial and not abusive, then yes, I think it is rude of them to not at least acknowledge the fact that I have taken that kind of time, even if it IS to only say, "Thanks, but no thanks."

BUT...do I get upset if they don't respond:? Well...honestly, maybe a little, but if nothing else the fact that they did not respond tells me that they are rude, insensitive, and uncaring, and that they are not the kind of person I am looking for anyway.

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:49:24 AM

HutchGarahl

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While I do try to respond to all mail I get, ther are some I simply won't touch. If a person takes the time to write mail that is polite, of course you'll get an answer. But when I get mails like the last one I got...hell no. It wasn't a big mail, siimply one line..."My GOD! Who would be with you?! Stuff like that gets ignored.

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 9:59:55 AM

KaineD

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Joined: 2/14/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaineD

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

And if grown adults can't seem to understand that no response is a response, that's not my problem. I'd put money on the idea that if ANYONE here who was searching got an email in their inbox that peaked their interest, they would respond to that email.

There's a thing called manners. It's fine ignoring smutty mails or cheesy one liners. But I think it is only polite to reply to someone that has put effort in. The question comes into my mind everytime I see on someones profile "it takes ALOT to grab my interest"... just what does it take to grab someones interest?

You really can't tell an awful lot about a person from one message. No, no response isn't a response. I simply assume everyone that doesn't respond to me falls into two categories. Number one, they have too many messages to reply to, or simply forget to reply to my message. Number two, they're stuck up, ignorant, and rude, and they think their shit smells like roses.

Oh, how horrible it must be to have an inbox full of messages from people interested in you.

Etiquette books and guides disagree.

No response is a response and it is considered a polite and appropriate response.

Any response when you are not interest risks sending the message that further contact or communication is possible. It is rude to mislead someone. Thus if you are not interested in someone, do not respond.

I disagree. I think to not respond is like a black hole. In the mind of the guy, the girl is neither interested or not interested. I know that I definately prefer an honest response. And I do think to not reply is a little misleading. You mightn't be replying for any number of reasons. But to flat out tell a guy "no", is sufficiant. If a guy isn't mature enough to accept no for an answer, that is his problem.

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:05:12 AM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NewShoes

Kaine....you're putting a good fight!!! You have all the right arguments but I learned over at the b.com forums on this subject, it 's like banging your ahead against the wall.

Hell the opening line of my profile goes to being polite enough to reply because EMAIL IS FREE here!!!

Somebody suggested switching genders and boy that is something I wish you girls would think about. Remember it then would be you doing the hunting, sending out the emails.
You sign up here, you find say ohhhh 30 people from around the US you write to....and then you watch and watch as each email is opened but no reply....
(Where is Genesis, " There's No Reply At All,")...
More mail is opened and nothing...
It is damn discouraging...because you sent an email that clearly showed that you read the other persons profile. You were polite and courteous in your note. And now nothing in return....
And all you want is a simple "Thanks but No Thanks" if there isn't a match. But you don't get NOTHING:)
Again, it is damn discouraging.

I use to like to send out a complimentary emails when I read a profile I liked but wasn't a match for 'some' reason.
Again, most women aren't even polite enough to say, "Thanks" for a simple compliment!

Over at b.com if you are a paying member, you can not only tell if the mail was read but if the person deleted it too.
I guess that would be some sort of reply since the mail is in the trash:)

Now if I was a girl getting all of the mail, like the guys who sent a rude/crude note. I would not only delete the mail but put them on block so they couldn't fire another email back at me.

But It only takes five seconds to type, "Thanks but no Thanks" and click send...
Hell you don't even have to type it out each time, cut and paste it once and fire away.
See it's not that hard to be polite to the guys who sent you a POLITE email!!!

YES!! Thankyou! Someone that understands.

Maybe the girls suggesting I "switch roles", should do so themselves. It is DEFINATELY discouraging to see, time and time again, messages simply being ignored. No response is exactly that - no response. There is nothing polite about that.

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:06:09 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

.

No response is a response and it is considered a polite and appropriate response.

Do you really believe this? So when you wave at a taxi and they keep going ( no response ), this is a polite and appropriate response? You say hello to someone in the checkout line and they stick their nose in the air and turn their head is a polite and appropriate response? A business line that hangs up on you when you call is a polite and appropriate response?

Wow, no wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket!

Now you are trying to compare business situations with personal and private situations. That is not a legitimate comparison.

If you write to a prodom who does not write back when you inquire about her business, then she is rude and rather foolish in terms of doing good business.

When someone contacts you personally and you are not interested, responding risks sending them the message that you are in fact still interested by leaving open a door for further communication.

Read some basic etiquette guides if you do not believe me.

That said, what I do personally when I receive any note on this board is my own business. I am state what is appropriate Western manners above.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 4/14/2007 10:08:22 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:16:20 AM

DiurnalVampire

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From: Nashville, TN
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I have learned after quite a while of trying to be polite enough to respond to every message that often, sending a polite no thank you doesnt cose the door. All the people who complain that they would like at least this, I have to ask you something. If you were to get a "Thanks, but no thanks" email, do you just let it go, or do you try and change their mind and argue your point? If I could send a quick and simple no thank you and actually know it would end at that Id have no problem. However most of the no thank yous I have sent have turned into attempts at changing my mind. I am not looking, in general, which my profile does state. If I find someone I am interested in I will contact them and open the lines of communication.
I think if more of the people who sent emails out initialy would accept the no thank you adn leave it at that, the few of you who want them and would react appropriately wouldnt be so snubbed. However, I find it annoying to send a polite email in response to an offer to serve which shows me tey didnt read my profile, only to have them come back to me with all the reasons I should change my mind for them and them alone. Silence means at least that they will not try agian, and I would hope tey would get the picture that it is not what I am looking for.
But thats just MY take on it.
DV

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:17:07 AM

aSlavesLife

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thetammyjo: A person in a checkout line is not a business situation, but I am glad that you pointed out that these things are not legitimate comparisons, as so many of the people here that don't respond to mail make the illigitimate comparison of a personal e-mail and snailmail junk mail. They are two seperate things, and not responding to junk mail has nothing at all to do with not responding to an e-mail. It is not only a false analogy, but lazy logic as well.

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:33:08 AM

SweetMegan20

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EDIT: Sorry

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:41:04 AM

SweetMegan20

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EDIT: Sorry

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:44:16 AM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I have learned after quite a while of trying to be polite enough to respond to every message that often, sending a polite no thank you doesnt cose the door. All the people who complain that they would like at least this, I have to ask you something. If you were to get a "Thanks, but no thanks" email, do you just let it go, or do you try and change their mind and argue your point? If I could send a quick and simple no thank you and actually know it would end at that Id have no problem. However most of the no thank yous I have sent have turned into attempts at changing my mind. I am not looking, in general, which my profile does state. If I find someone I am interested in I will contact them and open the lines of communication.
I think if more of the people who sent emails out initialy would accept the no thank you adn leave it at that, the few of you who want them and would react appropriately wouldnt be so snubbed. However, I find it annoying to send a polite email in response to an offer to serve which shows me tey didnt read my profile, only to have them come back to me with all the reasons I should change my mind for them and them alone. Silence means at least that they will not try agian, and I would hope tey would get the picture that it is not what I am looking for.
But thats just MY take on it.
DV

If I got a "thanks, but no thanks" of course I would accept it. In fact, I think it is a MASSIVE sign of immaturity to not accept no for an answer. Any guy that continues to pesture a girl after she clearly said no is an idiot.

For the girls saying no response is "polite". There is nothing polite about ignoring people. If there is one thing I absolutely loathe, it is being ignored.

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 10:59:41 AM

igor2003

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DiurnalVampire,

Yes. If someone tells me, "Thanks, but no thanks," i do not bother writing back. I know that not everyone is that way. I just find it very sad that because a person is pestered by a few rude and inconsiderate people that they decide that it makes it okay for them to be rude and inconsiderate to everyone else. I grew up in an age when it was understood that two wrongs don't make a right. Unfortunately, in this day and age such things as manners and being polite are traits that are quickly being lost by our "modern" society. LOL....about 3 years ago i was actually told by one lady (as she was breaking up with me!) that i was TOO polite simply because i did things like open doors for her and tried to always say "please" and "thank you". (sigh) I guess i was just born a few years too late!

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 11:04:05 AM

spanklette

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~Fast Reply~

I'm not sure everyone has the same view of what a "well thought out message" is. My Daddy was saying that people were reading His mail but not responding and He wondered why.

So, ol' nosey (me) logged on to His account and sent out several messages to people that He was interested in opening up discourse with. After a few days, He had received responses from each of them...most of them, if not interested in a relationship, interested in the dynamic and very willing to exchange mail.

He's looked at the difference between the "polite" inquiries He was sending and the messages I had sent in His stead. Now, He's replied to almost 99.9% of the time. It's not that He was being rude or the first messages were short, they just didn't quite make the impression He thought He was making.

So, for those of you who say that the females should switch sides...I did. Maybe you just need to rethink what you're sending. It might be polite, but does it really grab the positive attention that you're looking for?

Just for the record, there were only actually five messages sent by me...the rest are all Him, and of course, so are His posts. I just want to make sure nobody is going to get the wrong impression.

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 11:07:38 AM

MasterFireMaam

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The second email was a childish lashout to try and manipulate you into doing what they want you to do. Since they didn't get positive attention, they are now looking for ANY attention.

Master Fire

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RE: to respond or not to respond - 4/14/2007 12:23:07 PM

ChainedExistence

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It's amazing to me how many people take the time to send a hateful message. I received one on my birthday that said, "You're a moron"...gee, thanks. Now while it shouldn't bother me, it makes me feel compelled to answer back. It's difficult not to want to defend a statement like that, to ask why they said it, or to make some equally ridiculous statement back. Master feels that these types of messages exist primarly for that purpose- they want to engage you, albeit, negatively. Maybe it's sort of a sick little game, but it's not one I really understand. (ahhhh...that must be the moron part...I don't play games that make no sense).

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