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RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 12:50:57 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I would love to eat vanilla ice cream every night for the rest of my life.


With or without the spankings, uh, I mean 'sprinkles'?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 1:24:56 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		The trappings don't matter.  None at all would be lovely just to know I had that sweetness every day.

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 2:34:45 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Enjoying the courtship is fine- but people who focus on the chase for itself are not people I want to form long term mature relationships with.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_841749/mpage_1/key_chase/tm.htm#841761
dominas need pursuit?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_102787/mpage_1/key_challenge/tm.htm#102787
What happens when you reach the destination?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_281193/mpage_1/key_challenge/tm.htm#281193
Does total submission make a master lose interest?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_561643/mpage_1/key_bored/tm.htm#561662
too compliant

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 2:55:20 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		Thanks...I've been the "victim" more than once, and wondered about this -- I don't often have a keen sense of the obvious, however..lol...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Enjoying the courtship is fine- but people who focus on the chase for itself are not people I want to form long term mature relationships with.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_841749/mpage_1/key_chase/tm.htm#841761
dominas need pursuit?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_102787/mpage_1/key_challenge/tm.htm#102787
What happens when you reach the destination?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_281193/mpage_1/key_challenge/tm.htm#281193
Does total submission make a master lose interest?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_561643/mpage_1/key_bored/tm.htm#561662
too compliant


_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 7:08:02 PM   
Sweetbluerose


Posts: 54
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		The chase is fun until you have caught the prize, and then its on to another prize. my experience on collarme as well as alt, and indeed in vanilla, is that men, usually want what they don't have...  i think it is the nature of the male wanted to spread his seed around as much as possible,  And for others to look for something better than what you have...
also that goes for some women as well, they want what they don't have...

(in reply to Jevousadore)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 7:16:14 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		does that mean a Master wants a sub to act unobtainable?

minnetar

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 7:32:50 PM   
PoeticMotion


Posts: 22
Joined: 3/17/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		I like courtship, and certain aspects of the chase...what I don't like is playing coy or hard to get. I value honesty and forthrightness above all things. If you're interested, tell me. Don't play hard to get and expect me to try to play guessing games.

_____________________________

-"To be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming is the only end of life" - Robert Louis Stevenson

(in reply to minnetar)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 10:06:21 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Liiaa

The chase is what keeps you alive your imagination growing.it impowers the both of you to seek new intrestes that with out the chase may have never flurished.
If the chase becomes boring you will lose the will to explore new intrests...kinda like eating vanilla ice cream every night for the rest of your life :p


The chase ends when you get what you want. If you aren't satisfied with it, you shouldn't have been chasing it to start with.

And vanilla ice cream is pretty damn tasty. Sometimes I'd much rather have it then chocolate. Whoever decided that vanilla = boring has some screws loose.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/15/2007 10:07:23 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Liiaa)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 10:31:15 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Oh, i think it goes back to old human mating things.  We've all heard of  "the one that got away"

One of the things i noticed in my youth, was the guys i was really into.. and wanted.. had little interest in me....

and at the same time........ the ones i wasnt into and had little interest..... really really wanted me.  Spoke to a few other girls about it and it seems i'm not the only one to experience this absurdity of nature. 

Its that "availablity" thing too.  The more you are available, the less effort they'll make.  i've deduced that it comes down to when a person is ready and willing to drop things, be there when wanted, being available - then the other person doesnt have to make the effort to make time.  Why should they?  The other person will be there when they want them.  There is no effort needed............and the greater the effort needed.... the greater the want arises... the less effort needed the less the want is there.  Why want something you have..... waiting.  Take anything you have.. and indulge in it.. and you'll see.. the more you have of it.. the less "special" it is........take something else.. take it away.... the longer you go with out........ the more you'll want.  We all want what we cant have?  The grass is greener?

ok - i'm not making sense, i was sleeping, maybe some one else will know what i'm getting at


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/15/2007 11:24:02 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		There was only one relationship that I formed that there was no chasing on either side, and I married him.

I prefer to be chased a little. It is not because I enjoy it, or because I am into games. I just reserve judgment for a little while, especially as I get older. I need to know someone really likes me before I allow myself to get "caught". That means they call me at first, go out of their way to see me at first, are willing to show their affection. I tend to think that men value that which they expend energy on, and since I see myself as someone of value, I expect a certain amount of energy expended to "catch" me.

Am I a runner? Not really. I am friendly, kind, considerate. I do not play games with my affection, but neither do I put all my eggs in one basket until I have a reason to, and  the man who desires me to do that should give me a reason. Life is just too short to expend all my energy on someone that is lukewarm in their affection for me. I answer phone calls, I return messages, I make myself available too.

It seems that the above has become more crucial than it was before I discovered WIITWD. When I submit it kind of does away with bitching about being taken for granted. It takes away some of my voice about not being called enough, or given enough attention. I do not "stand up" for myself when I submit to someone. They call the shots, so it felt more imperative for me to make sure that he knew I valued myself deeply. I needed my Dom to know that I chose him from all the others that I could have chosen, because I really did chose him among many many others... none of which came close to him. I think men chase all women until one catches them...ha ha.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 2:55:17 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

juliaoceania
I prefer to be chased a little. It is not because I enjoy it, or because I am into games. I just reserve judgment for a little while, especially as I get older. I need to know someone really likes me before I allow myself to get "caught". That means they call me at first, go out of their way to see me at first, are willing to show their affection. I tend to think that men value that which they expend energy on, and since I see myself as someone of value, I expect a certain amount of energy expended to "catch" me.

I agree
Said much better than what I tried to say.
Thank you

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 5:20:41 AM   
StellaByStarlite


Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		Hello. =)

There's something so charming and romantic about being woo'd. It brings to mind the "gentleman callers" of the 19th century, or the ritual courtly love in medieval times. If both parties are aware of the gentle game of pursue/resist.. it can be fun. =)

My husband won my heart forever by wooing. I never felt so feminine or fluttery in my entire life.

S

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 6:23:28 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		That is kind of something I have a struggle with.  Why does the 'wooinig' have to stop just because a woman eagerly and joyfully submits and desires to offer pleasure to a man? 

I do not see this as a D/s issue.. I think it is a human issue.

I know for my parents part, what my father told me was that what he felt for my mother was so prescious to him that taking her or what she gave him for granted was never an option.

I wonder if that isn't the crux of it... taking that which you have with such beauty and ease from the willing submissive for granted... it's there.. where's the thrill in that?, all ya have to do is sit back and receive...

But that, for me at least, is one of the few things that will make me, a non-runner, run. 

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 7:53:16 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella
I wonder if that isn't the crux of it... taking that which you have with such beauty and ease from the willing submissive for granted... it's there.. where's the thrill in that?, all ya have to do is sit back and receive...

But that, for me at least, is one of the few things that will make me, a non-runner, run. 

I think there's a touch of lack of gratitude involved as well.  While Ienjoy being taken for granted in certain contexts as a kink, when it comes to the long term solid relationship thing, it takes everyone working together.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 8:41:00 AM   
longtimemuse


Posts: 15
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		Ohhh... I love the chase...or being chased...especially in the literal sence...ran down, tackeled, fought and subdued....sexy

I think that most men (and many women) enjoy the idea of the chase... the lure of capturing the difficult to obtain. If its too easy...anyone can do it. The idea of being chased also has its charms, it gives a heady feeling of power and can seriously stroke the ego. Nothing wrong with either of these emotional triggers....for me the problem comes when the chase is used as manipulation and not done with real intention behind the motions.

Its not honest when women (or men) lead someone on a merry chase just to build their own ego. Its not honest when someone chases  an interested party only to toy with the prey and move onto the next tasty tidbit.... this is how "the chase" gives most people a bad taste in their mouth.

I am married and dedicated as a submissive to my Master.... does he still chase me? You bet he does! But he chases me from a place of security, knowing that I am teasing and playing and provoking him because I want to be caught. If he was not certain of me and my intentions the occasional chase might quickly feel threatening and manipulative. When he sees that I am still attractive to other people, but Very dedicated to him it sharpens the sweetness of being together. When I see other people admire him, it reminds me of what I have and what I could lose if I don't pay attention to the relationship. But nder it all we love and respect each other as husband/wife and Master/slave.

I think a little bit of chase is a good thing...it makes you remember......and think...and sparks that edge many of us find so enticing.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 8:49:12 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		not all men, and particularly Dominants, seek a chase. my Master often says that the first thing that really seriously attracted him to me, and let him know that i was something special, was the fact that my submission was right there, on the table, out in the open. He gave me a command the very first night we met, which i later discovered he honestly did not expect to be obeyed. it was somewhat extreme of a command considering it was our first meeting in person, and our Mentor/mentee relationship. but he gave the command and i just obeyed. i didn't think about it. i didn't hesitate. and i will be honest and say that i didn't necessarily "want" to do what i was told, but something within me compelled me to move anyway. that is just my nature. someone says jump, i jump first, question later. and it was precisely this aspect of my nature...this raw, at times dangerous submissiveness, that my Master found to be attractive and desireable.

and here we are, almost 7 years later, and he is still not tired of my "easy" submission.


(in reply to longtimemuse)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 9:21:11 AM   
ONEDEMANDINGMSTR


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		I think what's required, here, is the definition of 'the chase'. I've read in the replies   so many different contexts that the question lies in the definition of the word. In My definition, there is the original 'courtship' phase, ie. learning enough about one another to know there is interest. Then there is the continual learning process coupled with the experimentation. If two are truly compatible, the second process never ends!!
It all, however, is a part of the 'chase'. The sub is 'lured' from her shell, the Dom is learning about her and revels in the process.
I have been involved in several relationships wherein the chase was never-ending
and the sub has evolved from vanilla to BDSM and loved that freedom that only can happen through submission.
Now, whether we call it a chase, or not, is the quandary.

Dan

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 9:40:05 AM   
wyldsubmissive


Posts: 157
Joined: 5/7/2005
Status: offline 		Quick reply to no one in particular:

I've never been chased. I've always been the "chaser". (I sound like an alcoholic drink. Tequila anyone? ) I don't know what its like to be chased, because everyone from subs to doms to 'nillas don't seem to want to chase back.

Batards. grr.

So, in a wrap up statement: never been chased, always the chaser, and some part of me likes it that way. It's normal to me. But to be shocked out of my own normalcy might be a good thing. Any takers? o.0


_____________________________

"A man's ability to have an erection has very little to do with my desire to submit to him.... If that were the case, I would have submitted to my vibrator years ago."

-credited to champangewishes

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 3:17:19 PM   
willowspirit


Posts: 164
Joined: 6/20/2005
From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
Status: offline 		I understand "Daddysprop" and "juliaoceania" very deeply. I know what you both mean.
And definitions really help in this discussion too. In some ways I like to be "chased"  -- but it's not that I am playing any game. It is a natural caution and a desire to be made sure and to gently being shown that His motives are a match with mine.
I like to be convinced and to be "grown in trust", but it shouldn't be a game on His side either.

And I am worth protecting myself from emotional harm, as well as physical harm.
It took a while to learn this....

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The deliciousness of the chase. - 4/16/2007 3:21:40 PM   
Stranger1


Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		It gets a bit hard to see exactly who is chasing who at times.

(in reply to willowspirit)
Profile   Post #: 60
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