juliaoceania
Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006 From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Status: offline
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quote:
And - somehow i don't think violating a court's order is anywhere near as bad as this "father's" message to his daughter. I am of the opinion that violating court orders in custody cases is indeed a bad thing. I think the phone call was dreadful. I listened to it, and to be very honest I have heard worse from my mother, and said ugly things to my son out of complete and utter frustration and anger (although I do not name call anyone, especially my son). You do not know the history of what has occurred in their family. I have never respected people that put their children in the middle of their shit... it seems both sides have done this here. I state that the mother in this case is better than the father really reeks of prejudice. You do not know the things this mother has said to poison the well, you do not know their personal business. I have been involved with men that had harpie ex wives that used their children as a weapon, drug them into court for no reason, and basically were psychotic while managing to put a show on for the rest of the world about how "good" they were. There are no winners when parents can't work their personal bullshit out. Invariably the kids get hurt. This is a classic example of that. What I heard in this man's voice was complete hurt and being rejected by his daughter, whether he deserves that or not I cannot decide as an outsider to this situation.. but rest assured, the mother is no angel.. providing this tape to the media is very telling to me because if this is an example of the worst it has ever gotten, it does not rise to the level of completely demonizing him as a father in the eyes of the public. Half of her child's DNA is the same as her ex husband's, for that very fact alone she should try to be a balm on that relationship... not a hinderance. I have an ex that refused to be a part of my UM's life in any real or meaningful way. I begged him when my UM was young to do so. I tried to be a force of peace in helping them get to know each other as my UM grew up and was angry with his father, not because I gave a rat's ass about my ex, it was for the love of my son. Who wants their child to be wounded and angry and hate their other parent? Who would try to divide the loyalty and the heart of a child that way? That is not loving, that is the epitome of selfishness, expecting your child to take "your" side. It is damaging. I knew that even when I was only 23 and split with my ex husband, and I swore I would do everything I could not to hurt my UM by involving him in a dispute. The idea of doing this to my UM is revolting to me. It is a trespass of the worst sort, and the girl may very well grow up and reject her mother completely for it.
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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt
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