RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 7:35:46 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

*rolls eyes at the OP's post*

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 7:43:11 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

Personally...from what I have observed of many young people today...it seems to me that he is doing what seems to entice many young women into dropping their pants and bending over. Let's face it, many young people seem to respond in a much more sexual manner to rude and crude behavior than they do to the hearts and flowers. Much as I hate to admit it, I've watched my oldest um respond the same way as many of the women he has described.

It is no secret, as LA noted, that many of the older women on here have been drawn to the bad boy behavior. We've had threads about it. So, while many are quick to point out that the young man is not behaving in a dominant manner...and I agree, he is definitely not acting like a dominant if you think part of being dominant means responsibility and caring about their partner's feelings...he is using dominant characteristics in a manner that seems to be working.

Perhaps he will grow and mature...perhaps he will just sow his oats until he finds the one. If he is serious about becoming a dominant, then he has a lottttttttttttttttttttttttt to learn in regards to how to do that.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 7:43:19 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

~fast reply~

So he's shown that he can manipulate and abuse girls who are used to being manipulated and abused. Groovy. Find the ones who have been molested and you'll find ones who think this is the way sex is supposed to be. But you aren't domming them, just abusing them some more. One day they'll wake up and realize they are worth more than what you're giving them. But will you ever wake up and realize you're just being a jerk?

(in reply to SweetSarijane)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 7:48:44 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie
~fast reply~

So he's shown that he can manipulate and abuse girls who are used to being manipulated and abused. Groovy. Find the ones who have been molested and you'll find ones who think this is the way sex is supposed to be. But you aren't domming them, just abusing them some more. One day they'll wake up and realize they are worth more than what you're giving them. But will you ever wake up and realize you're just being a jerk?

I think that's a bit too presumptuous- plenty of people get off on the danger/naughty/nasty/bad boy who I can't wrap around my finger thing. Nothing he's said seems to suggest this is non consensual.

I dislike people trying to make women less responsible for their own sexual choices.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sublizzie)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 7:50:37 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

In my opinion and experience, a person who is naturally dominant does not need to work on demonstrating it in every day life: we simply are this way.

Furthermore we do not feel the need or even the desire to put down others, tease them, objectify them, or to push ourselves onto others because there is no need.

For whatever reason (charisma, confidence, experience, body language, etc), when we speak, others listen; when we act, others follow; and even when we may wish not to lead because we'd like a break, it seems to simply happen. We tend to want what is best for everyone and from a long-range perspective and not simply what benefits us in the moment. I think that may be what really draws others to us -- the fact that we can be commanding without being assholes.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 5/2/2007 7:54:19 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to VASDEF187)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 7:52:44 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

~fast reply~

One day they'll wake up and realize they are worth more than what you're giving them.

We can only *hope* that they will one day wake up. Sadly, many women never do.

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

Ask a Mistress Forum FAQ
Profile Help

(in reply to sublizzie)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 8:05:52 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Something tells me the OP has been reading David DeAngelo's philosophy on how to be the jerk women love. Like it or not, a lot of women do respond to these joking verbal putdowns. It has nothing to do with dominance though, just manipulation. And while manipulation is definitely a part of a Dominant's repertoire, it is only one very small part of a much wider skill set.

Namsate, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to VASDEF187)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 8:21:33 AM

MasterSohun

Posts: 56
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

hi i qualify my remarks by saying this,i show quiet dominance ,im older i have been in politics,i have been in the international affairs sector,i have been an elder in a church and i have been a teacher and an advisor in a university.i show Dominance in the way i get things done but i dont always have to be agressive in my power.sexually there is a way to show power without being abusive out of the sphere of BDSM.i am set in my ways but also open to change if necessary,i have a friend that believes that all younger women under 27 play games of a sort,i am not sure i agree totally with that,i have had more sucess with a softer word that with a harsh putdown,however i see the thing the guy says,some younger women fall for that put down thing.

(in reply to VASDEF187)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 8:27:26 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

You know...when I was 16 or17...I was "enlightened" by a few of my fellow co workers as to this tactic.

I felt like the lowest of the low, a peice of scum, a completely bad guy, and not anything like myself.

I decided my moral conflictions werent worth getting layed.

Then I was really depressed because I didnt think I was going to get layed.

Then I grew up and realized that these "behaviors" were effective because they were being taken as what women really desired in men...confidence.

So I worked on those aspects of my personality...confidence, directness, assertiveness...the qualities that actually make up a dominant personality.

I have no complaints regarding my past sex life.

I also realized there was more to life then getting layed.

I can only hope that time brings these same lessons for you as well.

(The ability to tell them to be quiet works wonders, too).

I would like to devote the rest of this post in using your own philosophy of dominance on you, but it would just get moderated.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to VASDEF187)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 8:35:00 AM

Questingbear

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/1/2007
Status: offline

Odd that this should be my first post, but this is an example of where I actually have some experience.

If you're 16-22 and you treat a woman well, you end up doing her math homework.
If you're 16-22 and you treat her like a piece of crap that really isn't worth your time, she throws her panties at you.

I did both, and both worked. When I figured it out, I actually experimented with it. I would go to two different bars on one night, nice at one, a-hole at another. Where did I -always- pick up a girl? Yup, A-hole bar.

Now, I didn't take them home because that wasn't what I was interested in, but it was fascinating to see that I could be the same person, same level of intelligence, even same clothes, but the more rude and insulting I was to a young woman, the more eager she was to "find somewhere more quiet". I still don't understand why.

Granted, this also changes DRASTICALLY for most women at around the age of 25ish. For some it is earlier, and for some the change never happens. But eventually women start wanting someone to treat them well, go figure.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:18:32 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

the OP is a ripe candidate for CM's new game show - Are You A Master? where your skills and knowledge as a "master" are challenged

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Questingbear)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:24:26 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Thank you all for saying what I would have said in a much nicer way than Me having to show My a**. *Laughs*

(in reply to VASDEF187)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:25:57 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

& the losers are sent to be reconditioned by the femnazis over in the supremacy game show... Pin the Tail on the Piggie

(or was that Plug the Hole on the Piggy??? )

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:29:51 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Not me I'd show you to the door and boot your ass out of it, if you ever tried to treat me that way. That's not dominance that's immature, rude, insulting behavior. I certaintly don't take any one like that seriously in life or sex either. But then again I don't have to my search criteria rules people like you out automatically.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VASDEF187

to show dominance in conversations with women you should make fun of them, mess up their hair, make them feel stupid, humilliate them, pick at their flaws, and objectify them. if you can do this in a light hearted playful manner girls will want you to fuck them. psychologically you have already shown so much dominance that in the bedroom you call all the shots. lately i have been fucking girls howevery i want, whenever i want. and they like it. is this how nature intended us to behave? do you male Doms out their veiw yourself as an alpha male? subs feel free to give your thoughts too.

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to VASDEF187)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:39:03 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

I have to wonder if he wants a woman or a blow up doll that hugs back.

Stefan

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:39:44 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

To paraphrase and old saying:

"To see just how dominant you are... sick your finger into a bucket of water to see what kind of hole it leaves".

Some women will put up with anything to get your attention. If a woman is having a dry spell", they might do what you do "when sexual encounters are infrequent beggars can't be choosers meaning I'd take sex however i can get it." Thus making you no more a Dom than a dildo with legs.

You have much to learn about women. Such as,women know how to get what they want while making the male think he created the desire. Don't be embarrassed.. just now informed.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to VASDEF187)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:44:26 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Yup the bad boy image can be hard for some to resist & the OP has begun to learn basic manipulation. That in itself isn't a bad thing IMO, he is young and it sounds like these are pretty casual 'relationships'. Hopefully he will grow out of the attitude.. I mean who knows what he will be like in 5 years? He could end up wiser.. or not

. It seems to me that he is just beginning and is stumbling his way albeit gracelessly.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to LotusSong)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 9:49:25 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Not to mention that showing dominance everywhere is a good way to never get or hold onto a job, which he'll need considering he's courting child support payments.

...... doing a segment on Maury's "Who's the Daddy" segments.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 10:01:49 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

the OP is a ripe candidate for CM's new game show - Are You A Master? where your skills and knowledge as a "master" are challenged

.... is that the new spin-off of "Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader"?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: Doms should show dominance everywhere - 5/2/2007 10:18:41 AM

MsParados

Posts: 183
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Furthermore we do not feel the need or even the desire to put down others, tease them, objectify them, or to push ourselves onto others because there is no need.

That is totally what this life is about to some of us. I "get-off" on the occasional mental/emotional torment/toture. Some Doms take pride in being an ass, or the honorific "grand pu-ba of prickdom".
Is not the pushing of themselves (the Dominant) onto the submissive, in some manner or form, just the basis for what some do?
objectification is a kink...

As to the OP, well dude ... my advice would be to rethink that claim of Dominat, learn a little more about control and safety but your young and only time will really show you anything. Thats all I have to say about that. lol

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 60