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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

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ORIGINAL: velvetears


Only through awareness can you possibly hope for change.  Once you understand that others are well aware and irregardless carry on, then you go from there. 

But are you then assuming that the awareness is not already there?

Change is within you only.  You cannot possibly hope to change other people.

You are just true to yourself.  The rest is indeed - history.

 

Unfortunately people hate.  I know not everyone cares for me, but that doesn't matter.  I still care for them.

I wouldnt hate them.  Or feel sorry.

I believe the most wonderous thing is disagreeing with someone, yet loving them unconditionally.

And when I fail, I am reminded that I am imperfect.

And even imperfect, Darcy still loves me.

How groovy is that?

 

Peace

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ORIGINAL: velvetears


What i find worth mentioning is that it seems there is a "click" of posters who seem to follow these threads with almost a jubilent attitude that there's "new entertainment" for them to enjoy their popcorn with.  They disparage the op, make cruel remarks and insults and generally make as much, if not more drama, then the original poster.  Don't they realize they are as much a part of the drama, if not more, by carrying on in this fashion?  If they were truly interested in cutting down on the drama they would not indulge in this kind of behavior. Why do they do it?

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What could be done instead, that's more contructive, when you see a thread that's considered drama?  We all come here for our own reasons and have our own purposes for posting what we do, but aren't attention-drama-seeking-posters entitled just as everyone else to post what they want?  i don't begrudge them saying what they want to say because i have the option of not reading and or responding to them, simple as that. 

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By clique i mean a group that consistently shows up on certain posters threads, and drama threads in general...

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

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Well i am glad you brought that up. In one of the clique following threads 4 specific names were mentioned in a post, and those were not even a part of the drama thread being presented. They were just used as a sounding board for someone to throw a snarky comment about. They didn't even have the opportunity to defend themselves.  i guess the mods missed it - like Dauric said they can't be everywhere.  So much for leaving it up to the mods to handle. 

 

Then assist the moderators and help them.  Show them the post.

Your not being a snitch, or a baby or running to 'tell' - and this isnt a school ground.  Youre assisting some very busy people, who hold down jobs as well as moderating a forum that is restricted to certain laws and has to be careful on copyright issues.

Don't become part of the problem - be the solution.

(Geez I sound like a politician)

 

Like I suggested - offer your time to become a moderator if you feel that strongly and not perpetuate the hate.  But be aware you must be unbiased and unaffected by drama yourself.  And if the moderators disappoint you that much, why come here when there are boards elsewhere that may be more in tune with what you want?  I know I certainly do not hang around when a group/munch/club is not to my taste.

 

Peace and Rapture

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Of course I am entitled to my opinion, just as everyone else is, including you. One of yours you have been declaring here. All I am saying is that just because you feel a certain way about something.........your opinion......does not mean it is applicable to everyone or that it is even correct. Yes, you will always find someone to agree with you, that is the nature of the beast, it still does not make it the truth, at least not for ALL people. It is only the truth for you and those that agree with you. You cannot force feed it upon anyone else regardless of how vehemently you try.

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ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

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ORIGINAL: velvetears


What i find worth mentioning is that it seems there is a "click" of posters who seem to follow these threads with almost a jubilent attitude that there's "new entertainment" for them to enjoy their popcorn with.  They disparage the op, make cruel remarks and insults and generally make as much, if not more drama, then the original poster.  Don't they realize they are as much a part of the drama, if not more, by carrying on in this fashion?  If they were truly interested in cutting down on the drama they would not indulge in this kind of behavior. Why do they do it?

Of course they realize that. They want to be part of the drama, For them this is a form of entertainment and for some its how they get off, in many ways it's a fetish for them.

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What could be done instead, that's more contructive, when you see a thread that's considered drama?  We all come here for our own reasons and have our own purposes for posting what we do, but aren't attention-drama-seeking-posters entitled just as everyone else to post what they want?  i don't begrudge them saying what they want to say because i have the option of not reading and or responding to them, simple as that. 

It seems however that you do begrudge them. I do not understand exactly what constructive ideas you are looking for?

Milton Friedman said you cannot have open borders and a welfare state as the two are not compatible. Well you cannot have open forums and drama free threads, it just doesn't work that way.

So you your ignore button. (If they have one here? do they?) If you don't want to use the iggy for fear of missing something... well then, live with the a-holes and deal with it.

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Then you have them - both the good and the bad.

And if they do not agree with you, does not make them a clique.

Same as the clique that supports you does not exist.

 

It just makes people human.

Peace

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Of course I am entitled to my opinion, just as everyone else is, including you. One of yours you have been declaring here. All I am saying is that just because you feel a certain way about something.........your opinion......does not mean it is applicable to everyone or that it is even correct. Yes, you will always find someone to agree with you, that is the nature of the beast, it still does not make it the truth, at least not for ALL people. It is only the truth for you and those that agree with you. You cannot force feed it upon anyone else regardless of how vehemently you try.

Not force feeding anything LaT - just responding to posts directed at me.  And my truth is just that mine - others will agree or disagree, as is their right.  i never said my opinion is the only one or the right one - that would be foolish.  i am just calling things as i see them and bring to light something i personally find distasteful and seeing if anyone has any ideas on how to go about handling it or perhaps generating change. 

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ORIGINAL: Marc2b

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By clique i mean a group that consistently shows up on certain posters threads, and drama threads in general...

That part I get. But I am no longer sure what you mean by "initiated as a means to carry out drama or get attention..." I took this to mean the kind of OP that goes: "help, I’m being abused by my boyfriend..." I’ve noticed that two kinds of people respond to these types of threads: those who offer sympathy and advice, and those who doubt the OP and proceed to tell everyone why, usually in snide terms.

As for cliques, it is inevitable that people with similar views will keep squaring off against those with opposite views (conservatives versus liberals, free marketers versus socialists). What remains then is a question of civility. There are those who reflexively believe that disagreement with them makes the other a moron and therefore they have no compunctions about being nasty (you don’t have to concern yourself with the feelings of a moron since they are obviously inferior to you).

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
i wasn't sure either FatDomDaddy, all ideas presented have given me food for thought.  Maybe i do begrudge them, i sure wish they would find better ways to spend their time. i don't like drama threads either, but if you are really interested in seeing them hit the highroad, the best way is to not repond at all. They claim not to like them but they encourage them even relish them - and yes it is a fetish to them in that i agree.  Let them enjoy - too bad it's at others expense though.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Of course I am entitled to my opinion, just as everyone else is, including you. One of yours you have been declaring here. All I am saying is that just because you feel a certain way about something.........your opinion......does not mean it is applicable to everyone or that it is even correct. Yes, you will always find someone to agree with you, that is the nature of the beast, it still does not make it the truth, at least not for ALL people. It is only the truth for you and those that agree with you. You cannot force feed it upon anyone else regardless of how vehemently you try.

Not force feeding anything LaT - just responding to posts directed at me.  And my truth is just that mine - others will agree or disagree, as is their right.  i never said my opinion is the only one or the right one - that would be foolish.  i am just calling things as i see them and bring to light something i personally find distasteful and seeing if anyone has any ideas on how to go about handling it or perhaps generating change. 

Okay velvet, do you not see the hypocrisy just in this statement? First you say that yes, it is just your truth and that others will disagree or agree. Yet later in the same paragraph you wonder if others do agree with you and have any ideas about handling or, more importantly generating a change. Now if you agree that everyone has a different truth and are entitled to their own truth then what gives anyone the right to change it or more importantly to say it needs to be changed????

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ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
i wasn't sure either FatDomDaddy, all ideas presented have given me food for thought.  Maybe i do begrudge them, i sure wish they would find better ways to spend their time. i don't like drama threads either, but if you are really interested in seeing them hit the highroad, the best way is to not repond at all. They claim not to like them but they encourage them even relish them - and yes it is a fetish to them in that i agree.  Let them enjoy - too bad it's at others expense though.

But you have to admit... sometime the drama ones are the most fun. I especially like to see the "uber realists" melt down when things don't go their way and then watch their pandering sycophants rally to the defense hoping to get phone sex or a naked picture down the line...lol

But again... these are open forums, you need to take the good with the bad. 

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

Not force feeding anything LaT - just responding to posts directed at me.  And my truth is just that mine - others will agree or disagree, as is their right.  i never said my opinion is the only one or the right one - that would be foolish.  i am just calling things as i see them and bring to light something i personally find distasteful and seeing if anyone has any ideas on how to go about handling it or perhaps generating change. 

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Velvet, you are missing my point entirely. 

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
Why is wanting to change something i see as needing change a bad thing?  i am not doing it by bashing anyone - or following those that annoy me (and yes i do as well have posters that annoy me) and harassing them. All i am doing is bringing thigs that are being done to light. If no one wanted to generate change - what would be the point of debate in the first place? 

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

Not force feeding anything LaT - just responding to posts directed at me.  And my truth is just that mine - others will agree or disagree, as is their right.  i never said my opinion is the only one or the right one - that would be foolish.  i am just calling things as i see them and bring to light something i personally find distasteful and seeing if anyone has any ideas on how to go about handling it or perhaps generating change. 

I could use these exact words that you wrote as to why I post the way I do towards certain people and in certain drama threads.  That is what LaT meant by irony.