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So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:00:29 PM

cyberdude611

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They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?

Post #: 1

RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:03:29 PM

SusanofO

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I dunno, do male Doms hate female submissives and slaves?

I imagine it's the same kind of dynamic at work in both kinds of relationships (although I also imagine there could be a few people who genuinely have what I consider a very dysfunctional attitude toward either sex, I don't like to consider that as the "norm").

I am a Switch, and I certainly don't hate men - I think men can be interesting and wonderful (one of them, in particular). I think you could be forgetting that these guys say they want to be dominated. It's consensual. And a turn-on for both people involved. Is that "bad"?

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/31/2007 7:45:34 PM >

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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:03:58 PM

MagiksSlave

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Do Dommes hate men??

Well do Doms hate women??

Some do I guess and they get into BDSM to be able to take out that hatred on a willing victom (I think this has to be one of the worst reasons to get into BDSM but Im sure it does happen just as some get into BDSM because they think its an easy fuck or a good way to get free labor with no real wish to be a Dom)

Im also sure some do go into it just for the money Gawd knows there are many many that demand a tribute to even talk with a sub. But by no means is it all of them its just some.

ms

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to cyberdude611)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:04:07 PM

domiguy

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There is no doubt in my mind.

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:05:36 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I dunno, do male Doms hate female submissives and slaves?

I imagine it's the same kindm of dynamic at work in both relationships. I am a Switch and i certainly don't hate men, I think men can be interesting and wonderful (one of them, in particular).

- Susan

GRR you just hit the send button faster then I did!!

ms

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to SusanofO)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:08:15 PM

SusanofO

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Magik: Great minds must think alike, hehe. - Susan

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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 6

RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:10:26 PM

domiguy

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Well since most male Doms are not demanding cash from their subs there is a obviously a smaller chance that this would be the driving force in seeking out this type of relationship.......It seems that you couldn't understand what the op was alluding to. Which is really a shame.

Not in response to anyone in particular...lol

< Message edited by domiguy -- 7/31/2007 7:11:04 PM >

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:14:59 PM

SusanofO

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Personally, I'd never demand cash from a submissive man. I think if someone is a "Pro" it's an entirely different thing. But I just plain don't care what other people wanna do (I am not trying to sound "judgmental").

Submissive men are not what I consider "un-masculine" - at all (although I admit, I am not personally attracted to the "Sissy" type, (but I do think some of the "Sissy" types can be nice people, of course).

For most males, submissive or Dominant, the traditional "masculine role" has always been thought of as "taking care of a woman". So I can see how the financial domination thing evolved, because for most people, their role models for relationshiops have been those in society at large (and maybe in their own families, on a smaller scale). So I can see how "financial domination" might actually be a turn-on for some men, I really can.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/31/2007 7:47:06 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to domiguy)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:17:00 PM

jj292

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I'll just jump in and say I think the money aspect is the difference...

Money is looked at as dirty. And anything connected to money is perceived as dirty as well. And people see dommes charge money for their "services" and I think it becomes very difficult for the vanilla world to view that as any different than a prostitute that charges $20 bucks for a handjob. So basically I think the vanilla world views Dommes as prostitutes. And that is why they have that negative stereotype. Meanwhile, male doms practically never charge money from their submissives, so that is more viewed as just playing around in the bedroom.

Do dommes hate men? Most don't. Some do. Those that get into this lifestyle to just make money or hate on men usually don't last too long. But like I said, those women unfortunately give all dominant women a bad name.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 9

RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:17:52 PM

domiguy

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What in the hell does your response have to do with the question that was asked by the op?

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:18:20 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?

The basis of the stereotype? It's what people want to believe and it's what you hear the most about. Exactly like how people hear more about the abusive fucks who masquerade under the title of master and assume that all subs/slaves are battered women and all masters/doms are evil, abusive shitheads.

Last I heard "Happy couple has a weekend together and celebrates 10 years of happiness" didn't make the top ten on CNN, regardless of the lifestyle involved.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/31/2007 7:22:39 PM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to cyberdude611)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:19:47 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Magik: Great minds must think alike, hehe. - Susan

((giggles)) yup yup

ms

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 12

RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:21:25 PM

MissIsis

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I love men. They are wonderful & they make the very best of friends. I wouldn't the world to be without them.

(in reply to jj292)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:22:17 PM

MHOO314

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You are so --ugh---most Dominas do NOT demand cash from their submissives--- ohh and you over look the many Doms who can't hold jobs, have their asses so far in debt from living the fantasy, have their submissves support them financially--don't think your side of the equation is so damn pure, cause it ain't.

And to the OP---that statement is as ridiculous as saying women are Presidents of companies because they hate men---grow up boys its 2007---

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Mistress Hathor

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Post #: 14

RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:23:18 PM

SusanofO

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domiguy: I just think my comment kind of relates to why some men might think all Dommes must hate men in general (if you were addressing me with your comment. If you weren't, then ignore mine here).

jj292 - And that is because, unfair though it might seem, most men want to "get laid", and females don't usually have to look too far to find a male who simply wants to have sex (or BDSM activity).

Men are biologically programmed to want a lot of sex (and BDSM relates to sexual activity for most people, IMO, even if sex is not always included, it is considered within the broad realm of what I'd consider "sexually related activity").

I don't see a preponderance of male Gigolos (in proportion to female prostitutes) in the non-BDSM world, either. There are way, way more female prostitutes in the non-BDSM world, than there are Gigolos (I even researched this briefly once, out of sheer curiosity). Although I do realize that Gigolos (male "Pros") exist outside of the BDSM world, as well.

I am Not slamming Pro Dommes (and don't want to get into an argument about my use of the word "prostitute" in this example I am using. It was a lopsided analogy, but a fairly apt one to make my point).

There is apparently a need for the services of Pro Dommes, or so many of them wouldn't be thriving. I think they're just fine. Nobody is being forced against their will to use their services (unless it's in their BDSM contract, hehe).

For every complaint a man can come up with about how "unfair" it might be, that females can do this or that, females can come up with an equal-sized (and maybe legitimate) complaint about males having an unfair advantage in the world-at-large, let alone the BDSM world. So. There you have it, IMO.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/31/2007 7:56:01 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:23:39 PM

MidMichCowboy

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I don't think you can make a blanket statement like that. I have good friends who are Dommes. They treat me as an equal and we are very close. We discuss things like how to tie someone up, or good punishments. We also have a lot of very vanilla conversations. They are my friends.
Do some women hate men? Yes. Do some men hate women? Yes.
As to the payment thing .. I do know ladies who are dommes (lower case because they are not natural) who are in it for the buck. There are a lot of guys who will pay to crawl around and be humiliated. There are also a lot of doms (same reason) who are in it for just getting laid. They read books and crow like little roosters.
Me ... I'm just a neandrathol who can't help what he is :)
Michael

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I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to SusanofO)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:29:09 PM

cyberdude611

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First off, I think you need to look around this website and the internet a bit more if you think most dominas dont demand cash from their subs. 90% of the female dominant profiles on this site alone demand money up front before they will even answer your e-mail.

And I just love the ones that say you have to pay them $100 to prove you are "worthy." LOL! In other words, they want proof the person they are talking to is rich and can provide for the lavish and spoiled lifestyles they think they deserve. Most of these women have also never worked a day in their lives, will never accomplish all that much, and will always depend on men to stay afloat.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 17

RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:29:18 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?

I think that when you are talking about only the "Pros" that there is some truth to the above statement....I should have clarified...Sorry.

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:33:35 PM

bluesteel762x51

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Do Pro Dommes hate men?

It has been my experience that they niether love, like or hate men. They only love MONEY. It beats whoring on the streets and it is legal almost everywhere. I have never had a good experience with a pro dommes EVER. This is after about seventeen sessions in four different states.

I had the most fun in Florida where I just paid streetwalkers to do it, and it was much better because I also go laid as a bonus(safe and protected of course). BTW it usually only cost me between $40 and $60 as of 2005. Beats the hell out of the $300 price tag some of them want and all you get to do is jerk off.

So, as the old addage goes.......men want sex....and women want money. I think I found a good solution personally. Unfortunately here in central Nebraska I cannot find a pro at anything. If there was only a pro lady here I could find life would be perfect.

< Message edited by bluesteel762x51 -- 7/31/2007 8:12:43 PM >

(in reply to cyberdude611)

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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 7/31/2007 7:37:39 PM

SusanofO

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cyberdude: Maybe many, but certainly not all Dommes, want to be paid with money or huge, expensive gifts (I am referring here to non "Pros"). Stick around awhile, and you'll maybe find that out.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/31/2007 7:49:33 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to bluesteel762x51)

Post #: 20

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