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Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:38:04 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Do you think that a person in the Role of Dominance is responsible for helping a sub to overcome thier emotional baggage?

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:39:03 AM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Not unless you've agreed to that.

(in reply to RRafe)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:40:52 AM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		to a certain point yes, but they need to work on it also, we should give guidence,a shoulder an ear or what ever they need but its up to them to over come it

(in reply to RRafe)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:41:23 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		If the dominant one wants to do it sure. But to be expecting that a dominant will automatically want to 'fix' the baggage of a submissive is something that shouldn't happen.
Some want to fix, others want pre-fixed etc. etc.

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:42:50 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Its like any relationship isnt it? both are just as responsible as the other to make them feel better but i dont think baggage can ever be fixed anyways just become less of an issue.

(in reply to camille65)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:43:08 AM   
WisconsinOwner


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline 		My answer to a lot of those issues is:  that sounds like a personal problem, I don't do personal problems.


(in reply to PairOfDimes)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:44:57 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Responsible? not unless he accepts that responsibility.

I wouldn't ask nor suggest it nor burden another as such.


(in reply to WisconsinOwner)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 8:53:01 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		That depends on what the emotional baggage is, what it stems from and how it impacts the relationship.
There is some baggage that has to be dealt with and gotten over before you can even start a healthy relationship. There is other issues that can have no impact on it whatsoever.  And if the Dominant keeps the sub as a playmate and not a romantic or emotional partner then they have little to no reason to help with that baggage unless both decide to. In a romantic or emotional relationship, thats a little different.

Short answer, no obligation necessarily, but it depends onthe participants.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:02:17 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Only if it's something they both want and agree to, and have the sense to get some professional advice of how to accomplish this.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:07:56 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Do you think that a person in the Role of Dominance is responsible for helping a sub to overcome thier emotional baggage?

I think it really depends on how deep the emotional 'baggage' goes and how much the submissive is willing to help in overcoming it also.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:26:22 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		If he chooses to, yes.  In my case, he insisted on it:  "You will shed your baggage or I will strip it from you."

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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:27:15 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Do you think that a person in the Role of Dominance is responsible for helping a sub to overcome thier emotional baggage?


No. I want a partner, not a therapist. Valyraen has helped me, but only by being who he is. It was not something we intended to happen, only a happy by-product of being in a healthy relationship.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/21/2007 9:29:21 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RRafe)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:28:16 AM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I've always felt that, for the most part, people's baggage is their own to deal with. I can offer my ear, but beyond that it's best if I remain quiet, since my advice is rarely what someone wants to hear.


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It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:32:33 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		but what if you added to that baggage what if you were the cause of some of that

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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:33:25 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

If the dominant one wants to do it sure. But to be expecting that a dominant will automatically want to 'fix' the baggage of a submissive is something that shouldn't happen.

What she said.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to camille65)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:34:11 AM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82

I've always felt that, for the most part, people's baggage is their own to deal with. I can offer my ear, but beyond that it's best if I remain quiet, since my advice is rarely what someone wants to hear.




lol, truth hurts when its not what you want to hear

(in reply to SmokingGun82)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:36:22 AM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		then you should want to fix it, but thats just my opinion

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:38:32 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Only if they are capable of doing so. Wanting to help is not the same as being able to help.

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to RRafe)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 9:40:07 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline






No more than a person in the Role of Sub is responsible for helping a dom to overcome their emotional baggage.  I guess what I am saying is that I can't figure out why it's so often assumed that the sub has emotional baggage and that the dom is qualified to "fix" it.


< Message edited by bandit25 -- 10/21/2007 9:42:45 AM >

(in reply to RRafe)
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RE: Quick Question - 10/21/2007 10:24:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		FR- nope.

As others have said, if a dom wants to, then sure, as long as they make it clear and are actually competent enough to do so (being a dom certainly does not in itself make one competent to do so) but this is no different than anyone else in any other relationship.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to bandit25)
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