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RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 11:57:08 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

Because we like to be penetrated.

Serious answer.

Exactly. The more intense, the better.

And bordering rape-but in a safe enviornment-seems a very common fantasy.

It seems that my past partners expressed it to me this way-this was just my favorite.

"I loved it when you had me tied so tight, on my belly.......no way I could move. You were lying on me,pinning me even more, with your weight. Your cock was buried in my asshole-I could feel you-everywhere. You didn't care if I came-I was just meat to you. I was on the edge of coming the whole time-my nerves were on fire...you kept me that way-and I knew I was taken-knew it in my gut."

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(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 21

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 11:57:19 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Interesting topic...
Not having opportunity to attend many lifestyle functions, i can't really debate too much on that, however the few i have been to - the majority were couples, then Doms and the smallest group was subs, and they were primarily women.

i don't buy conditioning for my generation but perhaps my mother's gen. i was raised by her to be Dominant Woman in all ways and if i wanted to, i believe i could be a pretty decent Domme, however my heart would not be in it. i would be coming at it from trying to have some control over how my relationships would turn out. Handing over control to those that don't do so well with it - has left me jaded that the "elusive" Dominant even exists. Lets just say, i can narrow down to 2 that i know personally and have served...not very many~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 22

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 11:59:50 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

Interesting topic...
Not having opportunity to attend many lifestyle functions, i can't really debate too much on that, however the few i have been to - the majority were couples, then Doms and the smallest group was subs, and they were primarily women.

i don't buy conditioning for my generation but perhaps my mother's gen. i was raised by her to be Dominant Woman in all ways and if i wanted to, i believe i could be a pretty decent Domme, however my heart would not be in it. i would be coming at it from trying to have some control over how my relationships would turn out. Handing over control to those that don't do so well with it - has left me jaded that the "elusive" Dominant even exists. Lets just say, i can narrow down to 2 that i know personally and have served...not very many~

Too much emphasis on any one thing magnifies it. The harder your grip-the more it will escape your grasp. Like squeezing a fresh pumpkin seed.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 23

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 12:00:44 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

Because we like to be penetrated.

Serious answer.

Not all of us do..........

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 24

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 12:07:05 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

From my point of view:
There are far more submissives in the lifestyle (overall, across gender lines) than there are Dominants.
There are more females everywhere it seems, so the fact that there are far more female submissives than males is not really that unusual.
There are also quite a few Dominant females who, like LAM said, are only dominant until they meet someone they wish to submit to. Those of us who are Dominant and only dominant are few and far between. Such is life.

I dont know that its necessarily that it is more socially acceptable, as Fox chimed in, but that might be as well. The "typical" gender roles are easier to fall into. AS to how many of the lifestylers in each role are service oriented, masochistic or whatever... though, that would be where it broke for social norms. Female submissives are expected to be service oriented, but not always masochistic.
And there are many male dominants that have started off as sub as well. There is a line of thinking that in order to be a good dominant, you have to have experienced being a submissive first. I dont necessarily agree with the idea, since I have never been submissive and I consider myself a good dominant. However, it does not make someone a switch, it just means they have grown and changed. If they go back and forth with their desires then they are a switch. if they choose one side or the other then they are either a D or an s, regardless of experience.

My opinion, of course. Take it as you will

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 25

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 12:07:29 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

I happen to love penetrative sex with my consort, but that doesn't make me the least bit submissive.

I will concede that when I attend local events, there is rarely more than one other femDomme there, and not that many switches. I'm a natural Domme. When first exposed to the lifestyle, it was a male Dom who offered to train me as a sub. Knowing nothing about the lifestyle (I was 19) I agreed, but it took very little time before I discovered I was topping from the bottom - basically as soon as I knew what that was, I knew I was doing it. I changed teams, found my niche, and have been happy ever since. So I suppose you could say I 'started off as a sub' but that was only because it's what I was introduced to, not because it was my natural inclination.

Lady S

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 26

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 12:22:30 PM

cyberdude611

Posts: 2596
Joined: 5/7/2006
Status: offline

That was a huge debate in another forum once I remember where there was big argument over whether a "good hard fucking" makes a dominant woman submissive. The arguement went on and on....

< Message edited by cyberdude611 -- 10/23/2007 12:23:00 PM >

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 27

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 12:24:07 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Too much emphasis on any one thing magnifies it. The harder your grip-the more it will escape your grasp. Like squeezing a fresh pumpkin seed.

Very true~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 28

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 12:27:10 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

And as for people, there are those who will take offense to "have a nice day" and they all seem to find their way to the internet.

John

Father my children

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The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

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(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 29

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 12:56:07 PM

vegeta

Posts: 93
Joined: 8/14/2004
Status: offline

I have to agree with a previous poster that made alot of sense.
Most women are vanilla. If most women were subs I would not need Collarme.com.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 30

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 2:19:48 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Most women in the life may be subs, but that's a far cry from saying that most women are subs. Most women are vanilla.

But I've also noticed that most women in the life are subs. In fact, I'd venture to say that nearly half the women who call themselves dommes are really subs or switches. That's not to say that there aren't any dommes in the world, just that I've known quite a few who secretly yearned for their One True Master.

lol LM I can't believe you said the 'true' word!

Will contribute more to this thread later ...things to do, people to spank, men to control ...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 31

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 2:36:53 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am sure there are good explanations as to why most women in the lifestyle are subs. My question is, why would anyone be offended by that? That's like being offended that the sun is hot.

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Boycott Whales!

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 32

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 2:52:39 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I am sure there are good explanations as to why most women in the lifestyle are subs. My question is, why would anyone be offended by that? That's like being offended that the sun is hot.

pretty much-yup.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 33

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 3:06:46 PM

cyberdude611

Posts: 2596
Joined: 5/7/2006
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I never said i was offended by it.. I was just wondering the reason why...

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 34

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 3:14:07 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

To simplify........

The poker is on the top.

The pokee is on the bottom.

Make sense now?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to cyberdude611)

Post #: 35

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 3:16:36 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I was dragged into the lifestyle by a Dom.
It didn't take me long to find out that it was totally against my personality.
So I changed sides.
I don't really like the terms but I'm a sadist and a masochist. That doesn't make me a switch.
Lots of controling fem subs out there lol.
And lots of submissive Doms.
And no enjoying a good hard fucking doesn't make me submissive.
If you really think that the ability to do that makes you a Dom then I give up.
Is every woman who wears a strap-on a Domme?
Of course not.
Some women like catering to their man. And some don't.
Probably depends on the man.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 36

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 3:16:53 PM

MidnightMaiden

Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline

Interesting discussion :)

I can explain why I am a sub. In my every day life I am the central core around which everything revolves. I organize the house, the kids, the money, I take care of everything. I am strong, independant, free thinking. I have been told by friends that they admire my confidence, my willingness to tackle any task head on, and I have also been told that I can come across to the uninitiated as intimidating. Perhaps for this reason I typically attract submissive men (not the sexually submissive BDSM type, although they do tend to be the type to want to lay there with the "take me me mentality")... but submissive in the sense that they are sweet and sensitive but with no real backbone. So in a very real sense, not only do I take care of their physical and environmental needs, but I am also their support system.

Who is my support system? Who do I turn to?

SO at the end of the day when I crawl into bed I am left with the thought, who is there to take care of me. When I go to bed and want physical satisfaction, its just another "chore" (not the right word but its close) to have to come up with ways to satisfy my partner and try and get what I want. I think this is one of the reasons that sex wanes in vanilla marriages. One of the partners typically has the role that I do, and by the time they get to bed, they dont want to have to think anymore... its not so much physical exhaustion as emotional/mental weariness.

I want to be elevated from the mundane, to have all responsibilities removed from me for a while. I want a man who is stronger than me that can say "you're mine and thats ALL you need to think about right now".

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 37

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 3:19:19 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

To simplify........

The poker is on the top.

The pokee is on the bottom.

Make sense now?

I was under the impression that this view had become considerably less popular since the Puritans (and Puritanical thought) seem to have lost some steam.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 38

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 3:21:10 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

To simplify........

The poker is on the top.

The pokee is on the bottom.

Make sense now?

I was under the impression that this view had become considerably less popular since the Puritans (and Puritanical thought) seem to have lost some steam.

John

You don't watch politics, do you?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 39

RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 3:24:17 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

To simplify........

The poker is on the top.

The pokee is on the bottom.

Make sense now?

Really?

There are a lot of ways to have sex, even vanilla sex.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 40

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