CreativeDominant
Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MidnightMaiden
quote:
And to MidnightMaiden...
I am a single parent.. the only one to handle the money, the house, the job, the lunches, the homework...doctors, dentists, sick days, sick dogs... And I'm the one at work with the most experience.
I still don't give up control at the end of the day.
I can accept a shoulder to lean on, I can delegate responsibility and I will accept help when its offered. But I will not, can not let other people make decisions for me. I cannot let another person tell me what to do... it isn't in my nature and it annoys the hell out of me when people try to do it.
Its important to remember in my post that I said I could explain why *I* was a sub, not any other woman, just my reasons, and mine alone.... that doesnt make them applicable to anyone else but me.
Its also important to remember that it is my choice, my decision, made freely and with a clear mind to be a sub. I was not born into slavery, nor sold on a market, I was born into a free society, and I still make the decision to be supplicant to my Master.
Some people clear their headspace and destress with drugs, others use alcohol, some choose the healthier methods of exercise or meditation, I choose submission.
I read a survey once that asked women with domestic responsibilities what chore they disliked the most. It was cooking the evening meal, and not the cooking and prep itself, but having to decide each day what to put on the table for their family. Imagine then if that choice was made for me, a simple and respectful direction as to what should be served that evening. No guesswork, no wondering will they like it, the meal will be perfect and appreciated because it was what was asked for.
How many women agonize each day over what to wear, to work, to the store, to an event or outing? Do they do this for their own sense of style, for appropriateness, to please or attract another? I would love walking into the bedroom and seeing my outfit laid out for me on the bed, knowing that day I was wearing the perfect outfit, and that every second my Master gazed upon me he did so with approval.
Having decisions like that made for me is liberating, it free's my mind to ponder other things, to read a book, to surf the net, to do a million other things, more meaningful things, than wonder if those shoes go with that dress, or if my butt looks big in that, or is it ok to have chicken for the third time this week, I dont have to worry about any of that... and at the same time it's still my decision for I am free to walk away when ever I choose... I simply choose not to.
Nicely said, MM.
Lord knows there is a big enough tent in D/s to include all the variety of roles...and the people holding those roles.
There are female (and male) dominants whose view of men (and women) is disdainful and there are female (and male) dominants who love men (and women) and want to control their lives in ways that fit and work for both partners.
There are male dominants who want to control their female submissive's lives and do a piss poor job of it or whose control is more of the domineering nature rather than a dominant nature. e.g....many of the dominants cited by submissives like dawntreader. There are female dominants who want to run every aspect of a male's life, control their money, be paid for it and not have to give the male submissive anything except the pleasure of their company (which has been bought and paid for).
There are female submissives who want a male dominant to control their lives but who fight giving up that control or who question the dominant's every move in the areas ceded to him. Many of these female submissives call this being strong when in reality the word strong is a cover for their own undermining of the control they have stated they have given over. There are male submissives who state that they just live to serve but who in reality expect most of that service to be sexual in nature or to be dressed up as a housemaid and who undermine any real service with whining about their dominatrix never accomodating their wishes and desires.
It comes down to you (the generic you) and the choices you have made. If you have agreed to submit, then submit. Be wise about who you choose to submit to. If you have agreed to dominate, then dominate. Be wise about who you choose to dominate. Live up to your agreements. But do your best not to get ALL starry-eyed. That way...at the very least, if it all comes crashing down, you will know that you walked into it eyes wide open and if you are really mature, you'll be able to look at your part in the crash and not just your partner's. And if it all works and goes on to become the most magnificent thing ever built between two humans, you'll be able to look at your own role in building it and know that it could not have been done by one.
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RE: Why are most women subs? - 
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