RE: Why are most women subs?

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RE: Why are most women subs? - 10/23/2007 8:18:27 PM

writergirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

Hello. First post here, but thought this might be interesting to comment on.

First, I don't really know that any of us are really able to come to conclusions on what orientation/role "most" <gender> are. What we experience is very much based on where we are and what communities we're taking into consideration when making these statements. If you do a general search on 'slave' here on CM, with no gender preference, you get more men than women. How accurate is that, though? If you go to a leather event, depending on where you are, who's sponsoring the evening and what the main topics are, you may find more femdoms, or more femsubs, or anything else. If you go to a munch, you may find many more femsubs. A reason for this might be because it's a safe environment to dip their toes into the lifestyle. Conversely, you may find more maledoms because they might believe femsubs will come out because it's a safe environment.

In my own experience, I have found that more women I know in the lifestyle are submissive or have occasional submissive tendencies (since, of course, a person can be a bottom and not be a submissive). I know quite a number of women who are dominant to all but one man (or woman). I don't know whether the fact that they submit to one makes them submissive. Does it?

I also don't think we can discount cultural history in the debate. Some things are so intimately ingrained in people that it's very difficult to see what is "true self" and what is "upbringing/cultural history." One sees this very often in religion. Children remain in their parents' religion because it's what they know, not because they've done heavy soul searching to reach the conclusion that the religion is right for them.Similarly, the gender dynamic of male dominance is a cultural trait that can be measured in age by millenia. When we turn 18 (or hit puberty, or whatever your measure of 'adulthood' is), we don't begin with a blank slate. We are influenced by everything from our families, to the tv shows we watch, to books we read, to the god(s) we worship, to the history we learn. And all those elements are influenced by our own cultural histories, as well.

So, do I think women are naturally submissive to men? No, not really. I feel naturally submissive to some men, but certainly not most. There are many, many men that I feel naturally dominant over.

I think this lifestyle draws many manner of people for even more reasons. Not all submissive women are really submissive -- some are simply broken in their lives and cannot function without someone else to make their decisions. Not all submissive men are submissive -- some are 'do-me subs' and really are just looking to get their rocks off. Not all dominant women are dominant -- some really are man-hating psychos. And not all dominant ment are really dominant -- some are just little boys who don't like not getting their own way.

While I was planning on only adding my .02, it looks like I ran over a bit and tossed about a buck seventy eight in there.

writergirl
...also sometimes known as verbosegirl :)

(in reply to came4U)