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ORIGINAL: octavia

From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad?  Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it?

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ORIGINAL: octavia

So here is my dilemma.

I'm a subby dating a Dom who likes to play dress up.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it.  It appeals to the princess in me.   
The problem comes when he asks me to wear things or assume positions that I know are going to be unflattering for me.  I get off on thinking that he finds me sexy and well.. I just know there is nothing sexy about my body in some of those poses/outfits.   I've done it sometimes, just knowing the whole time that I looked horrid.  Of course I can't get sexually aroused when I know I look so bad.  Plus, it leaves me feeling embarassed and ashamed.   So my questions are these;

From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad?  Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it?
From the perspective of a Dom would you rather have an unsexy, completely obeying subby or have one tell you, " that is not going to look the same on my body as it did on the model at the store."  and suggest other outfits and types and/ or styles.

Sometimes I feel like there are different types of sexy and I am just a different type than what he is looking for.  I mean, I got sexy.. just not  cheerleader sexy.  kwim?

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: octavia

From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad?  Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it?

When it comes to outfits that only he is going to see me in, I just go along with it. It really doesn't matter if I think I look sexy because if he thinks I look sexy, he is going to treat me like I look sexy. Which makes me feel sexy.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: octavia

From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad?  Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it?

When it comes to outfits that only he is going to see me in, I just go along with it. It really doesn't matter if I think I look sexy because if he thinks I look sexy, he is going to treat me like I look sexy. Which makes me feel sexy.

Ok...I really almost agree with everything you said....Its just that I'm with the OP on this one...that kind of embarrassment and shame I understand ...so I personally would say to my Master something like..."Baby....I hear that You like outfit "A" but what do You think of "this"....I'll try both on. You tell me which one makes me look even more stunning than I already am.".....LOL  My Master and I have that kind of communication....I actually get a say ...I just don't get the final decision making...

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ORIGINAL: octavia
I just know there is nothing sexy about my body in some of those poses/outfits.   I've done it sometimes, just knowing the whole time that I looked horrid. 

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Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it?

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From the perspective of a Dom would you rather have an unsexy, completely obeying subby or have one tell you, " that is not going to look the same on my body as it did on the model at the store."  and suggest other outfits and types and/ or styles.

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ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

You do it .  Period.  But hopefully he will soon realize that you know how to dress up to  his liking very well without his input.
I know exactly what you mean though.  There have  been times where Michael has instructed me to wear a certain item of clothing.. I do it, but I am fairly certain he notices that I don't quite have that same air of confidence.. I also notice that these items fail to knock his socks off in the same way that things I pick out do..  A few weeks ago, we were going to a party and he walked in the room when I was just about ready...
He stopped in his tracks and just stared..  I can't remember his exact words, something about my beauty leaving him breathless or speechless.. It was the look on his face I will remember always...
From your posts, your Dom sounds like a cool guy.. He'll hand the reins back over to you soon... Unless of course he wants to dress you like that because it makes his cock hard to see you embarrassed.. Then you are S.O.L.  my dear..
Oh, and can I borrow the belly dancing outfit sometime??

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ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: octavia

From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad?  Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it?

When it comes to outfits that only he is going to see me in, I just go along with it. It really doesn't matter if I think I look sexy because if he thinks I look sexy, he is going to treat me like I look sexy. Which makes me feel sexy.

I am going to second this notion. I could be wearing a potatoe sack and if he treated me like I was sexy it would turn me on and it make me feel sexy and desirable.
 
Blessed be,
Nika

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ORIGINAL: RosesHaveThorns

Do you feel comfortable enough asking what he finds sexy, and then perhaps finding a comprimise for the two of you? There could be a nice middle ground that neither of you are aware of.

And do you mind me asking what exactly you two are interested in, if it's not too personal?

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ORIGINAL: Invictus754
I have told a friend of mine who has the same complaint (her waist is bigger than she likes and she hates wearing anything that accentuates it) to wear something that shows cleavage.  If most guys see cleavage, all they have on their mind are your boobs.  They won't notice your freshly done pedicure, or your Prada handbag...they will be thinking "If she leans over far enough, I wonder if I'll see her bra...or mayber her nipples?" and they won't care if you think you are not wearing the most flattering outfit. 
 
Boobs. Show 'em.  You won't go wrong

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ORIGINAL: octavia
So the question then is, does he want me sexy or obedient?

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Oh I completely understand feeling unsexy. When I moved into this house, I was so excited. It was a model house and had mirrors all over the place - particularly in the bedroom. Well, some months later I got some contacts for renacting. We had sex and I got a good look at what I looked like in the mirror. *wince*

But I also had to realize that he'd been having sex with me for over a year and seemed to enjoy the activity, and the view, quite a bit. It was kinda a "I have to get over it" situation because it was either get over it or stand there and try to convince him that I'm not sexy during sex. All things considered, that didn't seem to be the best course of action!