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How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:46:20 PM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline 		We’ve heard of how to have a terrrrrrific, fantaaaaastic BDSM relationship…. Now, I’d like your comments on how to have a horribly dissatisfyingly dull inane BDSM relationship.  Note, let’s exclude violence or unsafe stuff here… I’m talking about HOW TO MAKE A BDSM THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO RIGHT, GO WRONG.  Yes indeed, we are not looking for the needle in the haystack, but rather the hay surrounding that darned needle!

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:48:21 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Every evening after work, your ritual isn't kneeling at his feet, it's plopping down on the couch, giving him a look and saying "What the fuck do you want NOW?"

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:48:51 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Famous last words for a BDSM-based relationship?

Dom:  Okay, now You top me.

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:51:22 PM   
Kirren


Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		when the kink isnt there.
when unrealistic demands are made.
when unreasonable expectations occur.
when trust is broken and never put back in place.
When you get criticism and not re-enforcement for correct behaviors.
when there is distance...and no real reason why.
When only one person is happy with the progression of the way things are.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name


Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:51:28 PM   
sylkenkitten


Posts: 335
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		~cracks up~ .. how about ... you're kneeling wearing what he instructed you to wear when he gets home, he forgot to call to say guests were coming, ie his boss, and he walks in with his boss....

you're wearing nothing but his collar

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:52:02 PM   
Aceton


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline 		Two Words: Long Distance


(Okay, not true for everyone, and every situation, but goddamn it can be a life waster.)

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:53:04 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Dishonesty usually does the trick.

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:53:53 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

Every evening after work, your ritual isn't kneeling at his feet, it's plopping down on the couch, giving him a look and saying "What the fuck do you want NOW?"


Oh, and tying him up while he sleeps, then topping him in the morning.  Take pictures and make sure everyone at any club he visists has copies with links to the PhotoBucket URL on them for digital copies.

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:55:05 PM   
SoHott


Posts: 80
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

Famous last words for a BDSM-based relationship?

Dom:  Okay, now You top me.


YES!

_____________________________

If everything in life was free
We'd float in our own reverie
The things that you can't seem to see
seal the gap between you and me

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:56:30 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		There are several things that can harm a bdsm relationship. 
Poor communication between the couple would be the most important I think.  Then simple things like not having things in common that you once did.   Cheating on your partner.  It is no different than a real realationship in my opinion.  We need to be kind and courteous to each other, and help each other out.  Then, there may come a time when the thrill is gone.  

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Aceton)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:57:43 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		The same things that can screw up ANY relationship can mess up a "BDSM" relationship.  What are they?  Who can count the ways?

For us, our relationship could be screwed up by many things.  It really has nothing to do with the BDSM it involves.  Disrespect, dishonesty, and myriad other things could do it.  Thank goodness we don't have those to deal with............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 7:59:19 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Dom: Okay, now You top me


That wouldn't phase me although Bush is more likely to say that Iraq was a vicious and colossal mistake than my Dom is likely to say that.



(in reply to SoHott)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 8:03:55 PM   
MrSpectacular


Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Getting bored - realising that you really are not a sub or a dom - it is just a game, not part of your life.

_____________________________

Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 8:07:49 PM   
charmdpetKeira


Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		Constantly telling your new Dom “You’re doing that wrong, my last Dom used to do it like….”
 
k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to MrSpectacular)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 8:09:54 PM   
MsterStoney442


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/19/2007
From: All
Status: offline 		I can answer that . And its cause of me that did it make it go wrong . 1 lack of honest comunnication . 2 lack of taking TOTAL control .3 Letting to many things get in the way .3 walking away the first time .
I lst the best slave in this world due to me . There it is for all to see .
 
MasterStoney442

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 8:20:39 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		When she walks in,the first words out of her mouth are "so,what happened to the control-did it dissapear with your hard on?"

Very endearing.....
 
He comments...."It's still here, but I only Dominate girls who are worth it-what have you done for me lately-besides spend the rent money on shoes?"

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 8:23:13 PM   
treehugger42


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		Oooh, ooh, how about dishonesty PLUS long distance. That did'er in for me.

Also, talking endlessly about all the crazy shit you're going to do to your sub... later... when you have more time... so, how about I give you a few spanks and then you give me a blowjob? Repeat x infinity.

(in reply to MsterStoney442)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 8:45:53 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I'd like to share something but I can't since I'm perfect and its never my fault when a relationship goes wrong, it was always her fault.  Besides which I'm much too busy playing World of Warcraft/EverQuest/Online Poker while swilling down yet another 12 pack of beers and ignoring the fact that the bills are still unpaid, the bank is about to take the car and the house, I have no job and can't look for one because I conveniently believe I should have four slaves who all work to support me... no wait, two who work and the other two stay home and wait on me hand and foot.... which mostly consists of fixing me a sandwich and getting another cold beer.  And I expect them to dress in really sexy lingere all the time, while wearing 6 inch stilletto heels and have cheerleader hardbodies while I continue to see just how big my hairy beer belly can get. 

Yup, that ought to pretty much do it.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 8:55:01 PM   
themischievous1


Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

Now, I’d like your comments on how to have a horribly dissatisfyingly dull inane BDSM relationship. 

Sit back and watch the aging female part of the dynamic ride the rollercoaster of peri menopause..heh. This will result in one BDSM relationship that is in for one hell of a ride, in many more cases than we're aware of, I suspect. I don't know how dull and inane things will eventually become, but I doubt they'll be all drama-free and the picture of perfection. lol. No matter what anyone else says to the contrary..

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 9:46:26 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

We’ve heard of how to have a terrrrrrific, fantaaaaastic BDSM relationship…. Now, I’d like your comments on how to have a horribly dissatisfyingly dull inane BDSM relationship.  Note, let’s exclude violence or unsafe stuff here… I’m talking about HOW TO MAKE A BDSM THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO RIGHT, GO WRONG.  Yes indeed, we are not looking for the needle in the haystack, but rather the hay surrounding that darned needle!



That's easy.

Don't communicate with each other.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 20
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