Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: The "S" word


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The "S" word Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 8:04:52 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		{So now the question is - why do you ask? }

excellent question....well because >
 {- It means different things to different people at different times.  }
 
...and I was interesting in hearing as many of them as possible...  : ) 
 
and because, a  diff thread was going on where the term was used to "emotionally wound and insult" ..and it made me think about where that comes from and how is it received......
 
 
thanks for your response and input.
 
 



_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to Invictus754)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 8:06:30 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Means nothing to me.

Beleive me, I can say things with a great deal more impact-that aren't cliches.


I have no doubts about that.
Thank you, for your response..
 

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 8:12:55 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

warmth to you too Lawrence
   today my daughter who was born in 1986 turned 21..
to say I have learned so much in the last 21 years..is quite the understatement ...so you are not alone in that ..
 
smiles.


Dear Cyndi-
 
Cool. Is she a slut? can I date her?
 
jeskiddin'
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 8:13:21 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Seriously Long and Useless Threads.

I hate SLUTS and there is too many of them on Collarme.com

(This wasn't directed towards your thread)

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 8:14:58 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i'm Daddy's slut and proud of it.  i don't feel it's negative because He says out of love for me. besides one of many names He bestows to make me all gooey and horny inside.





so the intentions of the caller and the attitude of the receiver has alot to do with how its defined even??
can be an endearment, even..
interesting ...
thanks for responding : )

exactly!

when Daddy's in the mood, i'm His slut (or the ever popular "lil black bitch with her sexy big black ass").  when He's being serious and Daddy-like, i'm daughter, pussy, etc.  all the names He gives me it's said out of love ...and He wouldn't say them if He did love me.

i think of them as cute pet names.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 8:23:12 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating
Thanks Harry !
    how do you define the word "slut"   what does it mean to you?
   you use it
    cbt slut  pain slut
  meaning??   loving it   wanting it  more more more  ?  <<<makes you a slut about it?
or something else??
 
does it have to be sexual to have "slut" conotation...?
 
if someone loves mint chocolate chip icecream..can that make them an ice cream slut??  or are they only a slut if they use the icecream to slather and fill kinky places on another person ??
 
not meaning this to pick on you...you just bring up a good point ( no pun intended ) ..
thanks for indulging me : )and responding..You seem like a person who really knows who he is and what he likes..


Cyndi

It doesn't have to be sexual, in my book.  I'm an ice cream slut too.  I think you hit it on the head, what makes a slut is loving it (whatever "it" is) and wanting it more and more.

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 9:00:03 PM   
littlehumbledone


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

So, I am reading one of the other threads and the term SLUT is being thrown around in various ways.
 
I don't want to hijack the other thread, so asking my question here..
 
Slut
 
What does the word mean to you?
 
Does it mean a negative thing when you use it ( call someone that ) ??
Does it feel negative when you are called a slut?
Does it feel different? less acceptable?  > when a man calls a woman that or when a woman calls another woman that?
Can men be sluts too?
  (giggles)
 
positive or negative<< is determined more by the attitude of the caller of the name  or   the attitude of the receiver of the name ?
 


On the whole I have  a negative response to the word, to me, used in a general situation it is nothing but a put down, and not meant in a positive way, doesn't matter who is using it, the implication is that the person is of loose morals and sexually promiscious.

However I have found that depending on who is saying it to me, that it has a different meaning, like when my special someone calls me 'his slutling' I know he means it as a term of affection... THAT took some getting used to.



_____________________________

...
I don't need anyone to blow out another woman's candle to make mine burn brighter.

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 9:25:02 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

, the implication is that the person is of loose morals and sexually promiscious.


And that's bad because.........



A man of loose morals and sexual promiscuity is called a what??????  Name ONE word that is used for promisuous males in the same light as slut is used.   


OK.....THINK CAREFULLY of your answer to the above.   There's TWO approaches to the question.




FIRST is the vanilla approach where slut is a bad thing.  The male equivalent is generally considered acceptable if not preferrable in the vanilla context.


SECOND is the poly/ kink approach where a slut is a desirable woman who can be had by the men/women who she or her master choose to let enjoy her.  Where do male sluts fit into this picture?  I have NEVER seen a male slut presented as being remotely close to the desirability of a female slut in a poly/ kink setting.


Pick your preference.   Are you a vanilla who is so uptight that they can't accept sexual desire outside strict guidelines of monogomy (even monogomy of fantasy and desire) or can you embrace our world where limits are determined by individual members of a relationship instead of social norms.

(in reply to littlehumbledone)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 9:43:59 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think the definition of the word slut depends in the context in which it is used.

I have only been called that term by two men in my life, and one was my ex husband when we would be in the sack because I enjoyed being called that back at that time in my life.. so it was foreplay to us... My Daddy has called me that jokingly, but I do not feel badly about that... He does not call me that to put me down, so why would I care?

I have a swinger friend that rather embraces the term slut, does not see it as insulting at all.

I think I am a slut, which is basically a woman that enjoys sex in my mind (not necessarily promiscuous), and I enjoy sex quite a bit


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 9:44:15 PM   
littlehumbledone


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

Pick your preference.   Are you a vanilla who is so uptight that they can't accept sexual desire outside strict guidelines of monogomy (even monogomy of fantasy and desire) or can you embrace our world where limits are determined by individual members of a relationship instead of social norms.


And thank you for missing out the entire bit where I said it was MY opinion, I am not making judgements about anyone else or how they view the word, unlike you who seems to have made a whole judgemental leap about what sort of person I am.

I really couldn't care less about who sleeps with whom, and how frequently they do it, be they male or female, to me the word slut is a derogatory term, when it is used as an obvious putdown.

Other variations and uses of the word are entirely up to the individuals concerned.





_____________________________

...
I don't need anyone to blow out another woman's candle to make mine burn brighter.

(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 9:46:55 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlehumbledone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

Pick your preference.   Are you a vanilla who is so uptight that they can't accept sexual desire outside strict guidelines of monogomy (even monogomy of fantasy and desire) or can you embrace our world where limits are determined by individual members of a relationship instead of social norms.


And thank you for missing out the entire bit where I said it was MY opinion, I am not making judgements about anyone else or how they view the word, unlike you who seems to have made a whole judgemental leap about what sort of person I am.

I really couldn't care less about who sleeps with whom, and how frequently they do it, be they male or female, to me the word slut is a derogatory term, when it is used as an obvious putdown.

Other variations and uses of the word are entirely up to the individuals concerned.







Thank you for the clarification and my sincere apologies for dramatically missing the mark.

(in reply to littlehumbledone)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 9:50:56 PM   
littlehumbledone


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlehumbledone


And thank you for missing out the entire bit where I said it was MY opinion, I am not making judgements about anyone else or how they view the word, unlike you who seems to have made a whole judgemental leap about what sort of person I am.

I really couldn't care less about who sleeps with whom, and how frequently they do it, be they male or female, to me the word slut is a derogatory term, when it is used as an obvious putdown.

Other variations and uses of the word are entirely up to the individuals concerned.







Thank you for the clarification and my sincere apologies for dramatically missing the mark.


Apology accepted.



_____________________________

...
I don't need anyone to blow out another woman's candle to make mine burn brighter.

(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 10:06:10 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

What does the word mean to you?


A slut is an individual who engages in sexual practices arbitrarily.
 
quote:

Does it mean a negative thing when you use it ( call someone that ) ??


It has a meaning.  Good or bad is based off one's idea of what that meaning implies.

quote:

Does it feel negative when you are called a slut?


Bah, no.  Back in highschool, female friends called me "a man whore" pretty often.  It was funny.

quote:

Does it feel different? less acceptable?  > when a man calls a woman that or when a woman calls another woman that?


Oh, yes, I'm so insecure.

quote:

Can men be sluts too?


Yeah.

quote:

positive or negative<< is determined more by the attitude of the caller of the name  or   the attitude of the receiver of the name ?

 
Good or bad is determined by the particular member of the audience for that particular member.

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 10:11:27 PM   
AbsitInvidia


Posts: 164
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline 		Fast Reply

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

So, I am reading one of the other threads and the term SLUT is being thrown around in various ways.
 
I don't want to hijack the other thread, so asking my question here..
 
Slut
 
What does the word mean to you?


To me it's a woman who is indiscriminate about her sexual partners.

Someone who doesn't moderate their sex drive, and is driven to have sex because of the act itself. Someone who sees her sexual partners as a vessel for her own sexual pleasure, no more, no less.

quote:

 
Does it mean a negative thing when you use it ( call someone that ) ??


Yes

quote:


Does it feel negative when you are called a slut?


Yes...it really bothers me. Actually that word more than anything else sets something off in me that just feels so degrading and makes me feel ashamed of my own sexuality. It makes me want to *prove* somehow I'm not one.

Master used to use it, before he met me, but he doesn't use it with me because he knows how I react to it. I can see the reasons that people use it with their significant others on an intellectual level, but my emotions can't follow suit.

quote:


Does it feel different? less acceptable?  > when a man calls a woman that or when a woman calls another woman that?


It depends...a lot of times a man will call a woman a slut because he's mad at her, or she rejected him. That doesn't necessarily make her one. When a woman calls another woman a slut it's usually because she actually did something slutty.

quote:

Can men be sluts too?


Oh definitely. I know that gay men use it quite frequently to describe a promiscuous gay guy...and I've heard it a few times to talk about straight guys. But usually the term is "male slut" to specify. It definitely has a different connotation than 'player' does...although both can be used either negatively or positively.

I haven't read this thread past the first page yet, I'm sort of multitasking at the moment, but I definitely look forward to reading all of it. I've always hated how casually this word is thrown around in the scene. Obviously its a part of humiliation/degradation fetishes...but it's so commonly used outside of that and it seems like anyone who gets offended by it is just told "get over it, your feelings are archaic" or something like that.

I personally see the word 'slut' as an attack against women's sexuality. It is a sexist term that is used to attack and degrade a certain segment of the population. I don't see words like 'spic' or 'nigger' being thrown around casually even though race play is a fetish just like humiliation and degradation is. It's definitely offensive for those of us who don't aspire to be sluts when the word is used towards us...and then half the time when we say we're offended instead of an apology we hear "get over it."

Something I obviously feel strongly about, can't you tell?

-Soshi


_____________________________

-=SixFoot and Soshi=-

What most people call rights are merely social norms, they are expectations - but expectations can and will be violated on a daily basis. On her knees. In the mud. Hard, and savagely. Expectations likes it like that.

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 10:22:09 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsitInvidia

To me it's a woman who is indiscriminate about her sexual partners.




What is the equivalent word for a man who is indiscriminate about his sexual partners and what are the attitudes towards him?

By this definition, the closest thing I can come to a male version of a slut is a rapist.   Obviously, they are not equal in the type of actions they choose to perform but society's views upon them are fairly similar as both are outcasts from society

The REAL crime of society is upon the males who are victim to female rapists (yes, this IS a reality.)   Sadly, I'm certain that more than half of those who read this statement will go so far as to deny the very existance of what I speak.

< Message edited by Muttling -- 11/23/2007 10:23:02 PM >

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 10:30:48 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

By this definition, the closest thing I can come to a male version of a slut is a rapist.   Obviously, they are not equal in the type of actions they choose to perform but society's views upon them are fairly similar as both are outcasts from society


You're comparing a slut and a rapist..?

(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 10:37:10 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

By this definition, the closest thing I can come to a male version of a slut is a rapist.   Obviously, they are not equal in the type of actions they choose to perform but society's views upon them are fairly similar as both are outcasts from society


You're comparing a slut and a rapist..?



Negative.


I am comparing society's attitudes and acceptance towards the two.  In short, both are condemmed and considered socially unacceptable.

< Message edited by Muttling -- 11/23/2007 10:38:03 PM >

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 10:42:59 PM   
leadinghand


Posts: 23
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		As for the word. I don't really care for the use as a noun. It is negative and cheaping term for someone who is eager to be sexual. I know my cyn isn't one (the noun). But when she shows that eagerness (the adjective "being slutty" ) she is smiling and so am I, and it is most valued. But I don't think I would ever call her one.

< Message edited by leadinghand -- 11/23/2007 10:50:27 PM >

_____________________________

LeadingHand

When insired by a great and extraordinary purpose, thoughts break their bounds. You transcend limitations, consciousness expands and you find yourself in a new, and wonderful world

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: The "S" word - 11/23/2007 10:51:51 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Ah, alright.

In my experience, rapists are typically reviled while sluts simply aren't respected.

(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: The "S" word - 11/24/2007 12:14:25 AM   
AbsitInvidia


Posts: 164
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsitInvidia

To me it's a woman who is indiscriminate about her sexual partners.




What is the equivalent word for a man who is indiscriminate about his sexual partners and what are the attitudes towards him?

By this definition, the closest thing I can come to a male version of a slut is a rapist.   Obviously, they are not equal in the type of actions they choose to perform but society's views upon them are fairly similar as both are outcasts from society

The REAL crime of society is upon the males who are victim to female rapists (yes, this IS a reality.)   Sadly, I'm certain that more than half of those who read this statement will go so far as to deny the very existance of what I speak.


Actually I would say the word for a man who is indiscriminate about his sexual partners is either a male slut or a player (used negatively). Surprisingly enough despite what they teach you in Women's Lib 101 not everyone uses the term 'player' as a compliment. In fact most of the women I know would wrinkle their nose and say "No way would I ever consider doing anything with him...he's such a player" or if they really want to get mean about it they'll just call him an STD on an engraved silver platter.

I don't know what 'society' you are talking about but I would imagine anyone who is indiscriminate about their sexual partners (and indiscreet about it as well) would be looked down on by anyone who has different sexual morals/values....just as they would be applauded by people who are equally indiscriminate.

This is the year 2007. STD's are a reality. Maybe back in the 60's or 70's it was cool for a man to be a player and hook up with 'chicks' in the backseat of his Chevy but now that is considered tacky, if not dangerous. Sleeping with a 'player' or a 'slut' is like playing Russian Roulette...and anyone who is interested in a relationship will actively avoid a slut/player because they don't want to put themselves at risk for not only getting herpes, but for being another notch on a belt as well.

I'm young enough that there isn't much difference in what's acceptable for a woman or a man to do. Now women are players, playettes, pimpettes, pimpstresses, whatever the local slang is for a woman who drinks whiskey and fucks like a man. I think the argument "men can be sluts but women can't" is way outdated.

Soshi


_____________________________

-=SixFoot and Soshi=-

What most people call rights are merely social norms, they are expectations - but expectations can and will be violated on a daily basis. On her knees. In the mud. Hard, and savagely. Expectations likes it like that.

(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The "S" word Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094