RE: should a slave in training be allowed safewords?

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RE: should a slave in training be allowed safewords? - 5/6/2006 5:26:59 AM

texasbutterfly

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Joined: 4/17/2006
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i have been reading this thread with great interest. i will be the first to admit i have no real experience in this area, however, i can easily see myself refusing to "safeword out" in fear of disappointing my dom. that said, when i do get to have the real experience, he is going to have to be able to read my body language and know me well enough to know my true condition. that is just my humble opinion based on nothing but what little i do know about myself.

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RE: should a slave in training be allowed safewords? - 5/6/2006 9:54:55 AM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: texasbutterfly

i have been reading this thread with great interest. i will be the first to admit i have no real experience in this area, however, i can easily see myself refusing to "safeword out" in fear of disappointing my dom. that said, when i do get to have the real experience, he is going to have to be able to read my body language and know me well enough to know my true condition. that is just my humble opinion based on nothing but what little i do know about myself.

and that is the problem isn't it.... That's why open free communication should be occuring particularly with someone that is new. It's only thru actually verbal communication that i can actually KNOW... what you body language is saying.... because you confirm it.... but as one gains experience with one another... one is able to read the body language without as much need for the verbal communication. I also believe having some trigger words as an important thing as well. I like the analogy that some used as it being like the fire alarm being pulled. Maybe you will not pull it... maybe the Top should be telling you to get out of the building because it's on fire. But either way.. one should be taking slow steps as they venture into new experiences.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: should a slave in training be allowed safewords? - 5/6/2006 10:59:08 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
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Should a slave in training have a safe word? Yes 100% YES! Has nothing to do with status, especially in training the two of you don't know each others body language fully. The dom wont be able to tell just by your body language you are close to or at the breaking point with a new slave as he could with one he has had for many years.

My thinking on a safe word is that there should be no safe word, but rather words. Two of them. For generic purposes I will simply use yellow and red. Just like a traffic light. Yellow would be used for instance "I like what you are doing but you need to go lighter" or "don't have to stop the scene but you need to move onto something else" and red is simply no questions asked "Stop" and then you can find out why. Yellow is there more as a safe guard so that you don't need to stop the flow of a scene and to guide the dominant. Red is there in the role of the single safe word to stop the scene cold because something is wrong.

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