ownedgirlie
Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I have two lines of thought regarding this thread. Bear with me (or bare with me, whatever suits your fancy, heh) as I attempt to channel these thoughts into words that might somehow be comprehendable.
Re: the aura of violence. I can't say I feel that, or that I am attracted to it. I remember when first trying to explain my "kinky sex" feelings to my ex husband, he made a comment (aside from telling me I was mentally ill, selfish, etc.) that I see sex as something violent, and he doesn't.
He was wrong (about many things, but hey that's an entirely different subject). Violence, to me, is an intent to bring damage to another. It goes back to what LA and others say on these boards - an ACT is neither dominant nor submissive. It is the intent behind the act. In other words, a face slap can come from a violent place (anger, ill feelings, frustration, to cause anguish to the recipient), it can also come from a place of domination and power (eroticism, lust, power, control).
I have an inherent magnetic pull toward the power, and a complete disdain toward the voilence.
Having said that, I have to admit, truly in due respect Mad Rabbit, that I was also surprised to see what you have written. You & I have had disagreements on these boards, and not always amiable ones, I admit. I assure you this does not come from a place of antagonism, and I hope you receive it as such.
What I see in your posts is a man who struggles with this very dark nature within. Who has a near hatred in judgment of a man who, from what I am seeing (admitting my perception may be incorrect but it's what I see in your words), demonstrates himself as being something that you find inside of yourself - something dark, violent, seductive, "wrong", and alluring). Perhaps you have such disdain for him because you haven't come to terms with this same entity within.
Mind you, I'm truly not trying to play armchair shrink; I am recognizing a similar process that I once went through myself. I could be all wrong here. But I am moved to write, so here I am.
Perhaps this is why you have reacted so strongly to the posts of some slaves, myself included? I believe you have implied before that my mental state may not be healthy, because of things I have written about. But really, what I have written is the extreme opposite of where you seem to be coming from here; I've just expressed it differently. Having come to terms with such an extreme darkness within me, I can easily say that yes, I can actually see myself going to such places that some would deem as "unhealthy", but those places are not enticed by violence - they are enticed by a perhaps "abnormally extreme" connection with the man I call my Master...knowing he can tap into that dark place in me to a point which I could most certainly "go there." Being a responsible owner, he does not take me too far, and therefore he does not take me to such "unhealthy places."
Such a mindset, however, is a very difficult place to explain, and so those of us who go there have a lot of difficulty bringing others to understand it, without thinking we are somehow mentally ill (not pointing solely at you here, MR, it's come from many sources).
But on the outset, not understanding where you are coming from, one could read your post as a stand alone post, without even knowing who posted it, and might come to the same conclusion, yes?
And now I have written a whole lot, and I apologize as I do not want to bring this thread to an "All About MadRabbit" place. But what can I say - when the spirit is inspired to write, it writes. And I assure you this is all about trying to understand and making an effort to bring you to understand the dark places I sometimes write from, in such "no limits" type of threads. But this isn't about No Limits, MadRabbit. It's about acknowledging that "dark place" within, and understanding where it might move a person and where it might take a person.
And so I offer these thoughts with a sincere invitation for you to consider them and think about them, whether or not you wish to respond, here or on the other side.
I know this was long, and I thank those who had the patience to read it. I am processing and understanding some things within myself as I write, and it's been good for me to lay this all out here. I have a new understanding for those who might put a "mentally ill" judgment on me and others, because I realize where the depth of my own inner seduction is, and how absurd it may appear to others.
Best Regards to all, and a wonderful holiday.
|
RE: Aura of violence - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread