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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:21:47 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Is the female aura different from the male one?


Only in being less common.  A person with a violent nature is a person with a violent nature.


Are women less violent, or do they hide it better?

_____________________________

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Let go it's harder holding on
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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:22:00 PM   
laurell3


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Status: offline 		I'm not sure what the original quoter was meaning when they said "aura of violence", and I can say that someone that is physically violent outside of work necessity is not attractive to me.  However, the feeling that someone has a darker side and very primal types of preferences and thoughts even if they would never act on all of them is very attractive to me as a submissive.

I would like to comment that sometimes I believe the people that are labeled "wimps" may actually be sadists that have not yet come to terms with that aspect of themselves and I have found as a submissive you can be the one to support that exploration and help them with the struggle.  Other times, obviously, it's merely not their preference which is perfectly acceptable too.

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:24:08 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Is the female aura different from the male one?


Only in being less common.  A person with a violent nature is a person with a violent nature.


Are women less violent, or do they hide it better?


I remember watching a show about women who murder, they usually pick ways to commit the crime that are impersonal, like poison or a gas leak, or giving a man medicine that will kill him. They are more likely to kill for mercenary reasons and for profit... oh yes women are violent, they just are more likely to use devices that do not put them in harm's way or that can be turned on them... like a bomb for example.

At least that is what this documentary I watched stated.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:25:12 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
I heard someone say once, "I want a man who would be capable of killing me but would never actually follow through with it..."

LA, does what xiam wrote above define "aura of violence" to you?

It doesn't have to go quite that far for me. :)  More a touch of chaos/instability that lends itself towards physical violence.

It also might be attractive to me because I think I have it in myself.  It took a long time for me to become ok with knowing I have that violent side of me, and yes that would including the absolute knowledge that I would consciously and willingly kill another person.  A like to like attraction.


LA, I believe like to like has far more of an attraction than opposites, so to me, that makes sense. Especially when talking about taboo type subjects like violence and kink.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:33:20 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I'm not sure what the original quoter was meaning when they said "aura of violence", and I can say that someone that is physically violent outside of work necessity is not attractive to me.  However, the feeling that someone has a darker side and very primal types of preferences and thoughts even if they would never act on all of them is very attractive to me as a submissive.

I would like to comment that sometimes I believe the people that are labeled "wimps" may actually be sadists that have not yet come to terms with that aspect of themselves and I have found as a submissive you can be the one to support that exploration and help them with the struggle.  Other times, obviously, it's merely not their preference which is perfectly acceptable too.


laurell, this is what IrishMist was speaking of:

quote:

As a lead in, I am going to use what xiam said here

I heard someone say once, "I want a man who would be capable of killing me but would never actually follow through with it..." Food for thought. :)

Probably not the food for thought you were thinking when you wrote this; but it’s pretty close to what is on my mind when I say that I am attracted to a man who has an aura of violence.

I tend to be a violent person; and there are those who are the same way, yet, manage to keep a strong hold on themselves. You can feel that violence just simmering under the surface. For some reason, I am able to connect with those kind; they give me an outlet that I can use to release on…and in return, when they let go, I get my pain cravings filled. At the same time though, the one thing that I have learned from those who are like this; is how to control MYSELF so that I don’t fly off the handle at a moments notice.

It balances itself out for me in a good way.



quote:

However, the feeling that someone has a darker side and very primal types of preferences and thoughts even if they would never act on all of them is very attractive to me as a submissive.


So, an aura  of darkness and primalness floats your boat.
 
quote:

I would like to comment that sometimes I believe the people that are labeled "wimps" may actually be sadists that have not yet come to terms with that aspect of themselves and I have found as a submissive you can be the one to support that exploration and help them with the struggle.  Other times, obviously, it's merely not their preference which is perfectly acceptable too.
 
Agreed. 




_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:38:06 PM   
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quote:

I remember watching a show about women who murder, they usually pick ways to commit the crime that are impersonal, like poison or a gas leak, or giving a man medicine that will kill him. They are more likely to kill for mercenary reasons and for profit... oh yes women are violent, they just are more likely to use devices that do not put them in harm's way or that can be turned on them... like a bomb for example.

At least that is what this documentary I watched stated.


Julia, I read a book once (just once) (and do you think that we're getting all this info from documentaries and books makes us untwue? ) that gave alot of credence to women being just as violent as men, but due to embarrasement on the male's part, and lack of seriousness on the police's behalf, much of it goes unreported, or under-reported.
 
As someone said, violent is violent. But, men and women see the violence in one another so differently....


_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:42:37 PM   
juliaoceania


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Status: offline 		This could be very true, I know of women that either beat the crap out of men, or attempted to, and nothing of any import ever happened to them.. they were not prosecuted, were not labeled as abusers, and no one took them seriously. Most abusive and violent people select mates that will allow it, whether male or female. I remember my brother's ex wife attempted to beat the crap out of him, tore his shirt off his back.... all he did was hold her wrists until she gave up. The cops were called by the neighbors, and they almost arrested my brother for "bruising" her wrists... until the neighbors told them that they called because SHE was abusing HIM  They did not arrest her.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:47:02 PM   
Daddysredhead


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Is the female aura different from the male one?



*brief hijack*

Level, if you show me yours, I'll show you mine.  ~ giggles wildly runs off ~

Signed,
Red and her aura

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:52:56 PM   
ShaktiSama


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Are women less violent, or do they hide it better?


Biochemical answer:  probably slightly less prone to violence than men at birth and up to age 30.  Increasing tendency to violence from 35-50.  Decreasing from there, as in men. 

Cultural answer:  females are trained from birth in every possible means of suppressing violent behavior and encouraging empathy and submission.  This conditioning works to diminish violence and encourage submission in the majority of females, all but those with the strongest propensities or the most unusually violent upbringing.

Men by contrast are encouraged from birth to develope violent propensities and use them to assert their worth and social status.  This conditioning works to encourage violence and dominant behavior in the majority of males, all but those with the strongest propensities or the most unusually non-violent upbringing. 

Criminal answer:  women hide and disavow violence much more effectively than men do, even when they commit the most appalling acts, because they can take advantage of our society's "victim" narrative for females. 


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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:54:34 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

This could be very true, I know of women that either beat the crap out of men, or attempted to, and nothing of any import ever happened to them.. they were not prosecuted, were not labeled as abusers, and no one took them seriously. Most abusive and violent people select mates that will allow it, whether male or female. I remember my brother's ex wife attempted to beat the crap out of him, tore his shirt off his back.... all he did was hold her wrists until she gave up. The cops were called by the neighbors, and they almost arrested my brother for "bruising" her wrists... until the neighbors told them that they called because SHE was abusing HIM  They did not arrest her.


Exactly. It's very bizarre.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:56:13 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Is the female aura different from the male one?



*brief hijack*

Level, if you show me yours, I'll show you mine.  ~ giggles wildly runs off ~

Signed,
Red and her aura


I'm sorry red, if I don't know if CM's bandwidth is sufficient for me to do so.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 6:58:54 PM   
simplewhispers


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Status: offline 		would translate to me into the ability to protect what was his.

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:00:33 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Are women less violent, or do they hide it better?


Biochemical answer:  probably slightly less prone to violence than men at birth and up to age 30.  Increasing tendency to violence from 35-50.  Decreasing from there, as in men. 

Cultural answer:  females are trained from birth in every possible means of suppressing violent behavior and encouraging empathy and submission.  This conditioning works to diminish violence and encourage submission in the majority of females, all but those with the strongest propensities or the most unusually violent upbringing.

Men by contrast are encouraged from birth to develope violent propensities and use them to assert their worth and social status.  This conditioning works to encourage violence and dominant behavior in the majority of males, all but those with the strongest propensities or the most unusually non-violent upbringing. 

Criminal answer:  women hide and disavow violence much more effectively than men do, even when they commit the most appalling acts, because they can take advantage of our society's "victim" narrative for females. 




Looking at your cultural answer...... it seems women are catching up somewhat, perhaps due to crappier parenting? Or feminism?
 
And, if we all can agree that women are as violent (or nearly so) as men, how does that translate into the "aura"?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:05:57 PM   
Daddysredhead


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Is the female aura different from the male one?



*brief hijack*

Level, if you show me yours, I'll show you mine.  ~ giggles wildly runs off ~

Signed,
Red and her aura


I'm sorry red, if I don't know if CM's bandwidth is sufficient for me to do so.


Level!!!  I think I just might love you right now!  I almost fell outta my chair, reading your reply.       ~ giggle, giggle ~

You're just awesome... 

Red

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:06:21 PM   
laurell3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

This could be very true, I know of women that either beat the crap out of men, or attempted to, and nothing of any import ever happened to them.. they were not prosecuted, were not labeled as abusers, and no one took them seriously. Most abusive and violent people select mates that will allow it, whether male or female. I remember my brother's ex wife attempted to beat the crap out of him, tore his shirt off his back.... all he did was hold her wrists until she gave up. The cops were called by the neighbors, and they almost arrested my brother for "bruising" her wrists... until the neighbors told them that they called because SHE was abusing HIM  They did not arrest her.


I have been starting to see more arrests for female on male violence, sadly, however, the majority of the men don't want to go forward on the charges as they are embarassed and it's still an area that juries tend to have a hard time with.  It would be much more difficult for most women (not all) to be successfully violent against men who for the most part can overpower them. It's not, unfortunately as uncommon to see females arrested for violence to um's and other women. 

There are experts that will tell you that allowing yourself to be the victim of unwanted violence is the same symptom as being the perpetrator of it and can be for similar reasons ie: self-loathing, fear, etc.  While I do agree that it can be a sign of learned behavior for both, I've never really been all that sold on the idea personally, but there is a whole school or thought and treatment approach based on dv victims and perpetrators being the same.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:10:40 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead


Level!!!  I think I just might love you right now!  I almost fell outta my chair, reading your reply.       ~ giggle, giggle ~

You're just awesome... 

Red


 Don't make me pretend to be modest, now......

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:21:07 PM   
Daddysredhead


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead


Level!!!  I think I just might love you right now!  I almost fell outta my chair, reading your reply.       ~ giggle, giggle ~

You're just awesome... 

Red


 Don't make me pretend to be modest, now......


hehehe....  no need for false modesty, just "own" your awesomeness... 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

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RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:33:04 PM   
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Status: offline 		Okay, I'm going to own my butt to bed, it's been a long Christmas day here. Good night, red, everyone.



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:40:13 PM   
Daddysredhead


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Status: offline 		Nighty-nite, Level.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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Profile   Post #: 139
RE: Aura of violence - 12/25/2007 7:58:43 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

Too far by being violent, or allowing too much violence to yourself?

Both

I have said before; if anyone else was to ask my advice about whether or not a relationship like what I am used to is a good one or not...I would tell them straight out to run as fast as they could. 99% of the people in this world, would say that it was abusive. I liked it though; for some reason, it worked in the opposite way for me. Instead of bringing me down; it gave me something to work upwards toward; the ability to learn how to control myself. If I had to go through it all again; knowing what I know now; I would in a heartbeat.
In addition to that...the abuse...yes, I will call it that, I don't find any negative conotations in it...the abuse turned me on. So....it worked out in every direction.

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