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Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 10:05:57 PM

katsmeow

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?

I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs? =[

Post #: 1

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 10:18:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Yes, it really is that common.

But I wouldn't go around saying people aren't sane, or immoral, just because they want to and enjoy fucking and playing casually. It's just a matter of choice and preference for what works. If someone wants what you don't, you say no thanks and move on. If you want something that they don't, you say ok and move on.

_____________________________

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(in reply to katsmeow)

Post #: 2

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 10:26:20 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs? =[

When where those days?

There once was a time where men wanted two types of women. The "good girl" as the wife where there was some sex now and then to bring up a family to raise. Then you had the naughty mistress on the side for the freaky hanky panky.

It's all there in the History of Sex and double standards in the morals of sex.

Anyrate, I will answer yes to the question that my morals are in tact as I activly participate in BDSM with my wife/sub. Rather than having someone on the side, pet is queen around my arm in public and my naughty whore in bed. I wouldn't have it any other way.

We chatted over a month before we met. We got to know each other and knew what to expect for our first date. Yes, there always has to be physical chemistry with me. Also, with or without an emotional connection, I also need there to be a mental connection. I like being with people who think a little bit like me.

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(in reply to katsmeow)

Post #: 3

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 10:28:31 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

And when did play become fucking? Lots and lots of play that can be done without sex ... and even without taking too many clothes off! Methinks the OP needs to widen her concepts of play and at least ASK what others might have in mind when they use that term.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 10:40:22 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Ma'amJay, I'm with you 100%. Time after time I write a reply to a post that talks about casual play, and it's almost an automatic need to add a disclaimer that I'm talking about play, NOT sex. There really is a possibility that one might exist without the other, though I have had many issues with those who couldn't understand that there was a difference.

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Post #: 5

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 11:09:38 PM

tebe12345

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline

Also, there's a lot of requests like that in vanilla chatrooms. Just a thought.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 11:23:26 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs? =[

So many non sequiturs, where to even begin. What does BDSM play have to do with intact or non-intact morals? And what do intact or non-intact morals have to do with "this lifestyle"?

What does sanity have to do or not have to do with wanting to have sex?

Why do you imply that anyone without YOUR morals is immoral?

Cali

_____________________________

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(in reply to katsmeow)

Post #: 7

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 11:38:41 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I am reading this and seeing that you are making just as many assumptions about others and what constitutes play or BDSM or immoral as you are accusing others of(in a sense).

So obviously it is common and you are no exception but a part of.

the.dark.

_____________________________

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to katsmeow)

Post #: 8

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/13/2008 11:46:52 PM

UncleNasty

Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline

We all get to make the parameters that suit us. Best not to judge anyone else for theirs lest they judge us for ours.

Just be patient. A suitable partner will eventually be found.

Bringing morals into it could be hazardous. Many of the vanillas think we're all just one step away from being Satanists already.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 9

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 12:02:31 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I agree with most of what is said here. It is the same cross section of humanity as you'd get at any international group. That you choose to maintain yourt personal morality says a lot for you and fgor that I say BRAVA!!! It will restrict you to those who respect your requirements but that to happens to many here.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to UncleNasty)

Post #: 10

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 12:31:48 AM

SNoB

Posts: 145
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

Well for a lot of people, play can be a very intense emotional experience as well as very intimate, a lot like sex. So they may tend to be most comfortable only sharing that with someone that they are in a relationship with, or people they know very well. That is their right, isnt it? No one should pressure them to do something they dont want to do, or be upset when they turn someone down.

For a lot of other people playing is a very fun experience that can be casual with no emotional connection that just feels good, a lot like sex. So those people might feel just fine playing with people they just met, much like a swinger might have sex with someone they just met. Again, its totally their choice.

For me personally, I do play casually outside of the relationship I have with my sub. I dont do it often, I have no know the person, and I also prefer not to play with someone that everyone plays with. My sub on the other hand, only enjoys playing with someone she is in a relationship with.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 11

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 12:44:39 AM

SweetiePie26

Posts: 17
Joined: 3/5/2008
Status: offline

why would what other adults choose to do bother you? and who are you to say someone is immoral for wanting to play casually?... a bit judgemental don't you think.. just the ones who say you are a prude..

(in reply to SNoB)

Post #: 12

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 12:53:00 AM

daddysblondie

Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline

Dammit, just when i spent the weekend trying to come up with a good rebuttal to the argument that being into BDSM doesn't make us immoral and now i find out we ARE!

Daddy and i played (no sex) the first time we met. We talked for a couple weeks, decided we wanted to meet in person. We met in public and went back to his house about two hours later. The rest, as they say, is history...

(in reply to katsmeow)

Post #: 13

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 1:41:00 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

Seriously, when did this become a joke?

Nov 1, 2004 when Lois Griffin turned to Peter Griffin on Family Guy and said, "Tonight's safeword is banana."

Celeste

_____________________________

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to daddysblondie)

Post #: 14

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 1:45:29 AM

maisy10

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

I totally agree with you, Katsmeow. Its gets me down sometimes because sometimes this lifestyle or site seems like one big porn show.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:40:26 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: maisy10

I totally agree with you, Katsmeow. Its gets me down sometimes because sometimes this lifestyle or site seems like one big porn show.

And what would be wrong with that?

In seriousness get over it, sorry but not everyone wants what you want, (how is that a shock to you) some people want play good for them, least they are honest about it. And you are 21, as am I without being rude, how can you talk about the days when people didnt just want someone to open their legs, people have liked that as long as I have been aware of sex (and thats not very long, I kinda think that talking about the good old days at 21 is a bit ummm odd) And as has been mentioned D/s play doesnt mean sexual intercourse.

I think this post was inspired by a bad encounter with another member, report the journal entry and move on.

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Post #: 16

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:46:58 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?

I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs? =[

Oh before AIDS and HIV? The world of the 60's and 70's makes today's scene look like a fundamentalist church outing.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/14/2008 2:48:04 AM >

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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Post #: 17

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:11:10 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

Seriously, when did this become a joke?

Nov 1, 2004 when Lois Griffin turned to Peter Griffin on Family Guy and said, "Tonight's safeword is banana."

Celeste

Morning coffee.....choking.
OMFG.That's why I've been so badly treated...I never used the banana word....used the banana but never used the word! Et voila a safer saner future! Thanks Celeste.
ed to even check on the spelling of the word: can't even spell it let alone say it.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/14/2008 3:12:04 AM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 18

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:46:44 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?

Not everyone lives by your moral code.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to katsmeow)

Post #: 19

RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:53:18 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Play for me almost always does NOT include sex. I'm one of those hyper-paranoid people about Stds and such.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 20

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