DominantJenny
Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
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I'm a SAHM. I don't do as much as a lot of vanilla SAHMs, but I do the laundry, generally clean (occasionally he'll pitch in, like cleaning the microwave last week/we'll do a "big cleaning day" type thing together), raise the kids, take care of meals most of the time (he does dinner prep probably 75% of the time, but only easy "out of a box/in a microwave" stuff...I do any real cooking...and we eat out 3-4 times a week), do most of the dishwasher un/reloading (occasionally I need a break and I'll leave it for him a time or two...he does any handwashing that needs doing), and, in addition to the bits mentioned, he's responsible for all the outside maintenance (although I have mowed the lawn on occasion and we have both a good lawnmower and an awesome snowblower) (that was actually part of the deal of getting a house, something he wanted and I didn't at the time), the trash, cleaning the bathtub (my bad knees get me out of that one), cleaning the cat litter and the turtle tank and, um, I think that's it. When he's home, he is given major parenting duty, including being in charge of bathtime (my knees again) and changing all/most of the diapers (this is because we choose as a couple to have him be as close to a primary caregiver as a secondary caregiver can be, so that he will have (and he does) a ridiculously excellent relationship with his children)...and he works 40 hours a week, with a 1 hour, 15 minute commute (currently carpooling, yay!) and he's TEMPORARILY working a weekend job (about 6.5 hours a day, five minutes away) because we're crawling out from under some debt. Right now, he's helping a lot with the laundry (I'm pregnant and those knees make the stairs hard to start with...our laundry is in the basement) and we jointly do the weekly grocery shopping most of the time (sometimes I go by myself if we need the extra time, although not as much right now because the pregnancy sends me to the potty a lot and dealing with that, wrangling a high-energy toddler, and a cart full of groceries is a bit much. :P)
No one wanted that much detail about my life, but it was handy for me to write it out, anyway. :P
In the bedroom, I'm a highly active dominant...there's a lot of me flogging/spanking/doing things TO him...I generally lay back and receive near the end of the proceedings. Sometimes I really think I do FAR more work in the end...something I've been working on balancing, actually.
I consider our set-up to be pretty egalitarian overall (apart from the bedroom), although we consider ourselves 24/7. (I make the final decisions. He is expected to submit to me in all things, etc.)
I think most vanilla marriages are grossly distorted in the favor of the male.
Jenny
Edited to add: Oh, yes, I handle the finances, except for his 401K, which he manages. He does most things that involve dealing with strangers, as I'm an introvert and he's an extrovert. He is also responsible for the cars, although I value his time too much and rarely have him do anything other than tell me when they need to go to the mechanic/need something replaced. He'd rather change the oil himself than have it done cheaply, but I'd rather have it done cheaply and not lose the time with him, and my "rather" wins.
< Message edited by DominantJenny -- 5/10/2008 6:42:35 AM >
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RE: Slaves do everything while Master do nothing - 
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