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How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 1:09:35 AM

luvnchains

Posts: 52
Joined: 8/17/2005
Status: offline

It's recently come to my attention, that a good freind of mine is being black mailed by someone they met through this site. It made me wonder just how many of us are being abused in this manner for fear of their non-vanilla activities being made public.
And so my question, ever been black mailed or had it threatened?

Post #: 1

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 1:22:31 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

nope. blackmail only works if the person is afraid of being outted... I'm not. :)

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Post #: 2

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 1:33:31 AM

luvnchains

Posts: 52
Joined: 8/17/2005
Status: offline

Me neither, I'm out to just about everyone I know....so I'm safe from the scumbags..... Guess that's the only way to deal with them, take away the fear and they have nothing to sell, well maybe some kinky stories or pics...LOL

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 3

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 3:10:00 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

Nope. never even run in to anyone in the grocery---makes Me wonder what someone would have to blackmail with unless the person is a Pro in secret--I mean what we do these days is pretty tame.

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Post #: 4

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 3:49:33 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

i have never been black mailed. i am unblackmailable...lol just like GT said.

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Post #: 5

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 3:51:15 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

The people I've met from here have all been decent. What's to blackmail? The blackmailer is doing it, too! Out them right back!

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Post #: 6

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 4:04:33 AM

MissMacey

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/27/2007
Status: offline

I think the stories (the many lies upon a real truth) fuel the justification felt by those in smaller cities/towns/communities not to share real information and/or pictures. Because some persons go looking for it ('forced' blackmail), others feel too threatened and develop a complex so they never really connect with anyone because they can't be completely honest.

Now for someone who is sorta out--they participate in some fashion and are comfortable amongst that grouping--but who would still be devastated by having their name next to their photo with KINKY stamped across on the front page of the local paper, it can be a real problem. When do you trust someone and what to do when you choose wrong?

It reads like the OPs friend chose the wrong person to trust and is stuck. If there is a criminal angle, try a consult with a lawyer. They are obliged to keep the secret and would make themselves liable if they divulged it. If they don't feel they can trust someone local to draft a "quit it or we'll charge you and that will be more dangerous for you" letter to the nutbag, there is an organization called KAP--Kink Aware Professionals. They have doctors, lawyers, therapeutic persons (MSWs, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc) who help those who in "kink-tainted" situations.

I hope your friend is able to turn things around OP.

(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 7

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 4:11:27 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

I haven't been blackmailed....yet, but I take time to trust people cos I'm an old cynic lol, but I know someone who -has- been. Not on this site though.

(in reply to luvnchains)

Post #: 8

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:03:30 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Ironically, I have men on here that beg me to blackmail them. I even worked out a scenario with one where he would bring a bag of money, I would slip a 20 out of it to keep for myself, and he would simply take the rest back at the end of a session. He was so disappointed that I wasn't going to take thousands from him that he stopped writing.

I actually had someone offer me his service on cam yesterday with the provision that he doesn't show his face. He wants to keep his privacy. It may very well be that he is afraid of being blackmailed, though I am sure I wouldn't recognize his face anyway. I am amazed at how many on this site choose not to put up a photo for privacy's sake. To me it smacks of fear and of discomfort with one's own life choices.

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Post #: 9

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:12:18 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Backmail me away. At least then I would get some mail.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 10

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:15:48 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

You cant blackmail someone who isnt worried about being found out. I am not, everyone of any consequence they could tell pretty much already knows, or wouldnt believe anyone else anyway.
There are tons of people on here with blackmail fantasies, who are ASKING for that sort of abuse...

DV

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Post #: 11

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:17:01 AM

born4serving

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2007
Status: offline

i have not been blackmailed, though i have been ripped of from paying tributes. i would like to meet someone in the legal field who could blackmail me though, it would make work a bit more interesting.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 12

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:19:57 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

At a company I used to work for, a rather nasty woman told me that unless I backed off going for a position we were both vying for, she'd "out" me to my supervisor. Later that day, I took that same supervisor to lunch, and we had a heart to heart. After lunch, the woman who tried to hold it over me was told that she had blown her chances, and if she attempted anything like that again, she'd be terminated. I didn't get the promotion either, but that was because someone else with senoirity had applied.

When you are out, and proud of who you are... these small, dirty people can't touch you.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 13

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:22:59 AM

StrangerThan

Posts: 1515
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen
I am amazed at how many on this site choose not to put up a photo for privacy's sake. To me it smacks of fear and of discomfort with one's own life choices.

Not necessarily. Society has its own set of rules when it comes to what is appropriate and what isn't and a great many of them seriously look down on the things practiced in alternative lifestyles. Being a sadist doesn't mean you can't be a good... police officer for example. Dominating your spouse or partner doesn't mean you can't be a good abuse counselor. Regardless of what it is or what one is, too often they're the cog in a machine that defines what is appropriate. I suppose the off-the-shoulder reply to that is to be a cog in a more accepting machine or strike out in some other profession that may have more lenient guidelines. I'll grant you that, but some of us seriously like money, and doing so often puts you in circles where the standard that's defined indicates that if you're into things that will make clients uncomfortable or give them reason for pause, then you damned well better keep it to yourself and neither foist that knowledge upon others nor plaster yourself all over the internet where any idiot can find you.

Nuff said. We can toss this subject back and forth all day long, but there are many things people prefer to be kept within the confines of their own homes or own circle of family and friends. This is just one of them.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 14

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:33:43 AM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerThan

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen
I am amazed at how many on this site choose not to put up a photo for privacy's sake. To me it smacks of fear and of discomfort with one's own life choices.

Not necessarily. Society has its own set of rules when it comes to what is appropriate and what isn't and a great many of them seriously look down on the things practiced in alternative lifestyles. Being a sadist doesn't mean you can't be a good... police officer for example. Dominating your spouse or partner doesn't mean you can't be a good abuse counselor. Regardless of what it is or what one is, too often they're the cog in a machine that defines what is appropriate. I suppose the off-the-shoulder reply to that is to be a cog in a more accepting machine or strike out in some other profession that may have more lenient guidelines. I'll grant you that, but some of us seriously like money, and doing so often puts you in circles where the standard that's defined indicates that if you're into things that will make clients uncomfortable or give them reason for pause, then you damned well better keep it to yourself and neither foist that knowledge upon others nor plaster yourself all over the internet where any idiot can find you.

Nuff said. We can toss this subject back and forth all day long, but there are many things people prefer to be kept within the confines of their own homes or own circle of family and friends. This is just one of them.

Wow.

You put my thoughts on this into words extremely well. I completely agree.

Once in a very great while, I'll attend a BDSM function or whatnot. Without fail, however, it is some distance from my home. That's just the way I prefer it for me. I don't feel like I have to live my life in a haze of paranoia, but I also don't feel like I need to live it on a billboard.

There is no photo of me on this website. There never will be.

(in reply to StrangerThan)

Post #: 15

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:36:48 AM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

At a company I used to work for, a rather nasty woman told me that unless I backed off going for a position we were both vying for, she'd "out" me to my supervisor. Later that day, I took that same supervisor to lunch, and we had a heart to heart. After lunch, the woman who tried to hold it over me was told that she had blown her chances, and if she attempted anything like that again, she'd be terminated. I didn't get the promotion either, but that was because someone else with senoirity had applied.

When you are out, and proud of who you are... these small, dirty people can't touch you.

I'm apalled the woman who pulled this on you wasn't terminated period. There are some things, imo, that deserve ye olde written warning.... and then there are some things that deserve to have the plug pulled immediately.

Threatening a co worker falls into the latter camp in my book.

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 16

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:39:05 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

While I am mostly private, outing me wouldnt mean a thing. I live under the belief that if you choose to do any activity/action you also assume the risk of exposure. There were long periods I could not take that risk so I did not do this at all. Now, I am free to do or be whatever I choose with no fear.
Kyst

(in reply to luvnchains)

Post #: 17

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:42:22 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Don't ask, Don't tell......

Really though, it is easy to be nonchalant about being outed if being outed wiill not harm you personally or professionally. Yet there are quite a number of professions where being outed would be extremely damaging, if not career ruining. For those folks, being outed has to remain a major concern. One has to walk in the other's shoes. I think the actual number of those blackmailed is probably rather small. That doesn't really matter to those who would be permanently harmed if their fetish was made public.

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Post #: 18

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:44:32 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I am pretty comfy with who I am and what I do. Fear and discomfort has nothing to do with why I dont put a picture up. I dont do it because I hate feeling like a cut of meat in the butcher case. If I were seriously looking with intent to find someone I might. But I never think of connecting with anyone from online.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen
I am amazed at how many on this site choose not to put up a photo for privacy's sake. To me it smacks of fear and of discomfort with one's own life choices.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 19

RE: How many on here have been blackmailed? - 5/16/2008 5:45:28 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Blackmail is a 2 way street with dire consequences for the Blackmailer if it can be proven that they are attempting it.

1. Legally it is a felony. You don't have to blackmail for money for it to be a felony, and if it is for sex or favors of other types, it can lead to other charges as well. Tell your friend to tape record, save emails and chats and then tell the blackmailer..the police are being contacted.

2. The self same exposure they are threatening can affect them as well with the added kicker of "and after he found me on this site having joined up himself for his OWN reasons, he tried to blackmail me into doing such adn so for him..." If the community and people she deadls with are subject to looking down on her/him for being here, it' it going to be worse for the person doing the blackmail as not onloy are they on the site themsleves for their own reasons, BUT they are lower than the bottom of the slime a snail leaves behind to try and blackmail someone over it.

As for myself, I am pretty much blackmail proof. Been out and outspoken most of my life and my relatives are mostly dead now.

poenkitten

(in reply to luvnchains)

Post #: 20

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