RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males?

RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (Full Version)

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TeeGO -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (7/26/2008 9:12:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo Why would beta = wuss? Beta is the second in position not the omega, omega would be the end, the wuss. That is the best post of the thread. Absolutely, IMHO, is how it works. I am second to Ma'am, or more accurately I do whatever she says. Doesn't mean I'm not strong and cow-tow to anybody else. Unless she tells me to.

firefey -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (7/26/2008 9:20:58 PM)
but not all omegas are wusses either. i think that's a misnomer too. as stated above, my boy pet is an omega in a very pack-like way. it's part of his charm. he does silly, goofy, playful things to amuse me and those around me. he does as i ask, usually when i ask, and is accomidating as much as he can be. but he pulls his weight, as any member of a pack should. he just has no leadership aspirations, not in his personal life and not in our relationship, which a beta will often have. and an alpha almost always has. i am in charge. full stop. end of discussion. with an alpha, in my experience, there is typically somewhat of a power struggle. or at least an undercurrent of one.

subexploring -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (7/26/2008 9:32:12 PM)
Actually, you know, I've always felt I make a better follower than a leader. It's not that I'm not strong, opinionated, my own person, blah blah blah. It's more that I don't really enjoy making final decisions and I'm often too independent for my own good, veering in random unhelpful directions when I should be more focused. I do feel this characteristic is related to my submissiveness. It's like, something in me understands I'd do better with someone I trusted setting direction for me, and then sexualizes the desire for someone to help me with it.

SaraZeal -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (7/27/2008 6:03:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subexploring Actually, you know, I've always felt I make a better follower than a leader. It's not that I'm not strong, opinionated, my own person, blah blah blah. It's more that I don't really enjoy making final decisions and I'm often too independent for my own good, veering in random unhelpful directions when I should be more focused. I do feel this characteristic is related to my submissiveness. It's like, something in me understands I'd do better with someone I trusted setting direction for me, and then sexualizes the desire for someone to help me with it. I can totally relate to this, I feel the same way. I feel life gives me too many options, and it becomes easily overwhelming, stressful, and it becomes easy to make wrong decisions.

DominaSusan -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (7/27/2008 6:59:48 PM)
I can understand your point sara…but as a Domina who is often making many decisions, this can be a stressful position to be in as well. Sometimes I want my sub to make a decision or two. There has to be a balance. I’m sure you’re not given away all your autonomy. There is something to be said for a strong, opinionated beta sub.

yrmommydearest -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (7/31/2008 2:47:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadameMarque As submissives, they took to their role aggressively. You can be someone who waits to be nudged or goaded into doing something that is needed or desired, hoping your dominant will perform for you, will "give you a scene" over each act; or you can be someone who is an "alpha submissive." Though the terms are contradictory, what I call an "alpha" submissive, is one who is motivated, who takes his responsibility to serve and please and excels with it. He observes the subtle and the obvious, getting to know the person he submits to, learning how best to serve at each task. He is naturally constantly looking for opportunities to have a positive effect. Well... there's yet another definition for you. Many in this thread speak of an Alpha submissive as a kind of "First girl" (of whatever gender). While I do respect a person's right to use and define the term any way they please, I believe the term Alpha submissive originated with Mistress Steel of Steel Door fame, aka F.R.R.Malloy. She described a personality that presented as Dominant in an attempt to protect an extremely submissive nature, oftentimes unknowingly. When this person encountered the rare individual to whom they felt submissive, this person would go to extreme subspace very quickly, so quickly it was perceived as dangerous. And indeed, such a reaction could very well BE dangerous, based on several things, including how trust-worthy the Dominant was. Going that far that fast doesn't give one much time to assess little things like that. [;)] Beta submissive? I haven't heard of it. Sometimes our arguments get a little convoluted trying to make some concept or model work. Perhaps in a large poly family there would be need of a Beta submissive, meaning second-in-charge, but... <shrugs>... it seems pretty meaningless to most of us. I've skipped around a bit in the thread. Has the OP defined Beta males? Now Omega submissive, that I understand...[:D] Scarlett

lightscribe -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 4:30:40 PM)
Playing devils advocate here, so please bear with me okay? I had a similar conversation like this about a week ago at a local munch that I was attending. The conversation revolved around Dommes who seek out alpha male submissives. The Domme I was talking to about this is someone I had seen around a few times and we started up a conversation in which this peculiar topic came forth. Now this Domme is 31 years old, very, very hefty, did not take particular pride in her words or inflection, had stains on her clothing and looked overall like she had just woken up from a bad dream. She started to lament (quite arrogantly actually) the fact that women like her cannot find a true alpha male submissive and that she had just about given up hope on ever finding one. I asked her bluntly about what exactly it is that she is looking for in an alpha male submissive. Her response was that an alpha male submissive was the type of guy who was take charge, career driven, goal oriented, took great care of himself physically and mentally and who could submit to her and only her. I gave that some thought while she stared at me, almost challenging me to dispute this. Finally after a few moments I asked her if she would not mind me playing devils advocate here. She smirked and said that she did not mind at all. So I asked her: "What do YOU have to offer someone like that?" She asked me what I meant by that and replied back that if a male is take charge, career driven, goal oriented, physically and mentally well to do and climbing the corporate ladder, then what did she have to offer him in return? She said that she did not understand what I was saying by that because she did not have to offer him anything. She was a Dominant after all and did not need to offer anyone anything, let alone a mere male. I let that thought linger for a minute, then I asked her to bear in mind with me that I was still playing devils advocate here and not looking to make her mad or angry. She nodded that she understood. I then said that: "Fine, you are a Dominant woman and that should be enough, right?" And she said yes, that should be enough. Then I replied again and said: "So let me get this straight, a man who has all these things going for him, who is on top of the world right now, should give all that to a lady who is obviously very much overwieght, arrogant, condescending and in general unpleasant with her demeanor?" At this point she just glared daggers at me and I shrugged at it, sipped my drink and waited a few more moments before continuing. Finally I said to her: "Why would a man who does all those things, has all those things, give them to someone like you when he could simply hire a 20 year old blonde bimbo, see a beautiful professional Dominatrix or in general be very selective about who he chooses to be with? Why would he give that all up to someone who is unappealing to his type of personality in so many ways simply because she expects that with her self-title of domme?" After that, I thanked her for the conversation politely and went about my way for the rest of the evening. She did not deign to speak with me anymore that night though. shrugs But it is no loss though. So now the questions are posed to all the dommes on here: "What do you have to offer to an alpha type male submissive who has all these wonderful things going for him? How can you justify even thinking that you are good enough for a male submissive who does all those things and more and who can pretty much be discriminitory in his choice of women? Especially if you are nowhere near his class, are not goal driven, career oriented, take care of yourselves both mentally and physically? What possesses you to be so unrealistic with yourselves and your expectations in having an 'alpha' male submissive when most of you are out of that persons league to start with?" Bear in mind finally that I am simply playing devils advocate here and not looking to incite flame wars, hate mail or anything of the ilk. I simply am asking that the Dommes on here do some very serious soul searching, self-reflection and self-actualization before passing over very loving, kind, caring and hard working 'beta' submissives.

thetammyjo -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 4:42:11 PM)
Did you notice that some of us said we weren't interested in the supposed alpha male?

Lockit -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 4:57:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lightscribe "So let me get this straight, a man who has all these things going for him, who is on top of the world right now, should give all that to a lady who is obviously very much overwieght, arrogant, condescending and in general unpleasant with her demeanor?" At this point she just glared daggers at me and I shrugged at it, sipped my drink and waited a few more moments before continuing. AND So now the questions are posed to all the dommes on here: "What do you have to offer to an alpha type male submissive who has all these wonderful things going for him? How can you justify even thinking that you are good enough for a male submissive who does all those things and more and who can pretty much be discriminitory in his choice of women? Especially if you are nowhere near his class, are not goal driven, career oriented, take care of yourselves both mentally and physically? What possesses you to be so unrealistic with yourselves and your expectations in having an 'alpha' male submissive when most of you are out of that persons league to start with?" Bear in mind finally that I am simply playing devils advocate here and not looking to incite flame wars, hate mail or anything of the ilk. I simply am asking that the Dommes on here do some very serious soul searching, self-reflection and self-actualization before passing over very loving, kind, caring and hard working 'beta' submissives. I felt this was arrogant, condescending and unpleasant. You want the domme's here to do some very serious soul searching, self-relfection and self-actualization and you say all this playing devil's advocate... okay... right. If you are an example of this self-discribed beta submissive... I pass. Not because you are not loving, kind, caring and hard working... but because you are judgmental, opinionated (not in a good way) and seem rather aggressive and angry. I take my submissive's who feel I have a lot to offer them, for their heart, their intelligence, their humor and good will.

lightscribe -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 5:12:15 PM)
[/quote] I felt this was arrogant, condescending and unpleasant. You want the domme's here to do some very serious soul searching, self-relfection and self-actualization and you say all this playing devil's advocate... okay... right. If you are an example of this self-discribed beta submissive... I pass. Not because you are not loving, kind, caring and hard working... but because you are judgmental, opinionated (not in a good way) and seem rather aggressive and angry. I take my submissive's who feel I have a lot to offer them, for their heart, their intelligence, their humor and good will. [/quote] Interestingly said. I never once put a label on myself, called myself alpha, beta, omega, etc. Instead of actually giving this some thought you instead decided to pass judgement, act arrogant yourself and generally unpleasant while hiding behind your vitriol for any words that challenge you and your way of thinking. So could I not then turn this around and say that your actions and words themselves are arrogant, condescending and unpleasant? And that if you are a representative of the so called "Dominants" of this community then is it any wonder a career driven, goal oriented, alpha submissive is going to pass you or any dominants who act like you by in a heartbeat? After all, if you cannot do self-actualization, self-reflection and some serious soul searching while being honest with yourself at the same time, it then has to be asked again, what do you have to offer anyone? Let alone an alpha male submissive who is already at the top of his game? Anyone who wishes to play nice and give some serious thought to my questions posed will in turn get a serious and respectful answer in return. Act like a social ass and be treated as thus. shrugs It is no loss to me in this matter. I simply wish to see a polite conversation ensue.

Lockit -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 5:15:12 PM)
ROFL

bottomboy81 -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 5:52:56 PM)
99 percent of males are not good enough for most women on this site so I guess most women are looking for so called beta males who don't exist. If you're a woman looking for long term and have been here for more than a few months, there is some thing wrong with your expectations as EVERY SINGLE WOMAN on this site has no problem getting the opposite gender interested. I think many to most dommes on this site need a serious reality check on their expectations. If you are man or woman and have had 100s or 1000s of offers and remain here for months or years, you're expectations are obviously not functional.

Raechard -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 6:06:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo Why would beta = wuss? Beta is the second in position not the omega, omega would be the end, the wuss. I see this film in a whole new light now. nmta

RedMagic1 -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 6:06:38 PM)
I've never noticed Lockit to be a social ass. Also, I believe in criticizing someone directly, not passive-aggressively as a devil's "advocate."

lightscribe -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 6:20:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 I've never noticed Lockit to be a social ass. Also, I believe in criticizing someone directly, not passive-aggressively as a devil's "advocate." Your words would have more merit RedMagic1 if I had chosen to single out any one Domme in particular. However, I did not and the questions were posed to the Dommes in general who frequent this board and have unrealistic expectations about alpha male submissives and what they have to offer them in return. Instead of judging me as passive aggressive, perhaps next time you may consider seriously your words and what context you are speaking in so as to avoid looking like you have not given any serious thoughts to what you are saying. After all, as the saying goes: "Sloppy words beget sloppy thoughts...."

RedMagic1 -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 6:26:47 PM)
Dude. Your solitude and joylessness is entirely of your own creation. If you continue with this borderline trollposting, everyone here will blow you off, as has happened to you in other spheres of your life. Now please excuse me. I need to roll on the floor laughing with Ms. Lockit.[8D]

Lockit -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 6:34:15 PM)
Woohooo... I like floor parties!

bottomboy81 -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 6:37:32 PM)
I agree with just about everything lightscribe has said. I always wonder the exact same thing. The dommes have big expectations as for expecting a classy guy but are these dommes classy themselves? What are they offering in equivalent? Like I have said in the past, the dommes in here will mostly reply and take things further if the guy stands out from most in this site but how many dommes stand out from most on this site? The narcissism is beyond belief.

MISTRESSKUMA -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 7:14:34 PM)
Ever wonder why you're the only one on the block hostile and alone? Ever wonder why other people are successful and you are not? Ever wonder why others find happiness in this world, but you don't? It's the same world, isn't it? Are you hostile to the sidewalk too? You get what you put out so what your seeing in this world you hate, is a reflection of you. You are your worst enemy.

Ferns -> RE: Do any ladies prefer beta males? (8/1/2008 7:20:57 PM)
While this is off topic, and the point could have been articulated differently, I agree with lightscribe and bottomboy81's point. It's perfectly valid. I expect an equal and what I offer has to be compelling enough to attract what I want. If I seek someone with two degrees, a great body, a stellar career and financial security, of course I should be able to offer a comparable set of qualities. I wouldn't settle for less, why should he just because he is submissive?

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