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Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:08:51 PM   
Geoffozi


Posts: 1
Status: offline 		I have been trying to put down my list of rules and I am curious as to what other people like.  By that I mean are my expectations realistic or no...if you could please take a look at what I have written down and give me your opinion...it would be greatly appreciated.

External Interaction
  • Relationship
    • Communication
      • Submissive may address the Dominant by name in the presence of company where "Master" or "Sir" is not appropriate (ie. Parents, Bosses)
      • Conflict Resolution
        • Vanilla issues will be resolved without influence of the D/s relationship
        • All other issues will be resolved at the discretion of the dominant
          •   If appropriate, the dominant may choose to punish the submissive immediately

    • Personal Freedoms
        Submissive may think as she wishes  Submissive may choose company of friends Submissive may choose activities not involving the Dominant 
          Must first ask permission for each night to avoid conflict
            Priority is given to the Dominant

    • Sexual Interaction
      • Submissive will adhere to all sexual requests regardless of location, occasion, schedule or company.

  • Image
    • Dress
      • Clothing
        • Will dress classy and sexy at all times unless told otherwise

      • Jewelry
        • A tight necklace will be worn at all times
        • Jewelry appropriate to outfit will be worn as needed

    • Personal Hygiene
      • Hair and makeup must be tactful at all times
      • Legs must be shaved even if not being exposed

    • Body Modification

  • Behavior
    • Movement/Poise
      • Submissive will consider the Dominant's needs before her own at all times
          Includes, but is not limited to
            Serving food/drinks Providing comfort of sitting or standing accommodations 

    • Speech
      • Submissive will address the Dominant as "Master" (or "Sir", according to preference) according to who is around 

  • Public/Vanilla Interaction
    • While out with friends
      • Submissive will consider the Dominant's needs before her own at all times
          Includes, but is not limited to
            Serving food/drinks Providing comfort of sitting or standing accommodations 

    • While out to dinner
      • As a couple
          Submissive will not eat or drink until Dom gives permission Submissive will sit where Dom commands

      • With others
          Submissive will not eat or drink until Dom gives permission (by nod or other pre arranged signal) Submissive will sit where Dom commands (points or pulls out chair)

    • Other activities
  Internal Interaction 
  • Relationship
    • Communication
      • Submissive will address the Dominant as "Master" (or "Sir", according to preference) at all times
      • Submissive will ask permission to speak or ask a question before continuing 
      • Conflict Resolution
          Punishment
            If disobeying a rule set by the Dominant
              Spanking till ass is all red Whipping till ass is all red Tied up, blind folded, and left kneeling on the floor for an hr conversation
            If relating to a vanilla topic, it will be talked about and worked out like a regular relationship without influence of the D/s relationship

    • Personal Freedoms
      • Submissive can think what she wants
      • Submissive is entitled to her own opinion, but the Dominant's opinion outweighs hers
      •  

    • Sexual Interaction
        When, How, Where
          Submissive is responsible for waking the Dominant at the prescribed time every morning by initiating oral sex.
        Who can initiate
          Submissive may initiate sexual interaction without waiting for the Dominant to grant permission in specific situations
            Oral sex
        Restrictions (orgasm, masturbation, etc)
          Submissive will ask permission before being allowed to climax Masturbation is prohibited, unless specifically requested by the Dominant
        Incorporating others
          Shall be discussed on a case by case basis
      Physical Domination
      • Safe words
        • Safe word will be established in the beginning of the relationship

      • Consent
        • Hard Limits will be set at
          • Children, Animals, Family, Feces (excrement), Drawing blood
          • Limits requested by Submissive are also be taken into consideration

  • Image
    • Dress
      • Clothing
        • Panties are worn only at the request of the Dominant
        • Dress is sexy but classy unless otherwise specified

      • Jewelry
          Collar is worn while in private Cuffs are worn at the Dominant's discretion Tight necklace at all times

    • Personal Hygiene
        Genitals must be shaved smooth at all times

        Legs must be smooth and soft Must smell good Submissive will maintain a healthy weight and diet   
      Body Modification
        Tattoos and Piercings

        Dominant will grant permission regarding location and design
    Behavior
    • Movement/Poise
        Submissive will sit, stand or sleep when and as requested by the Dom  Submissive will stand chin up, shoulders back looking straight ahead Submissive will sit or kneel on the floor, palms up, legs parted, head bowed. If the submissive is allowed to sleep in the bed with her Dom, she will be cuffed, collared and blindfolded. Otherwise, the slave will sleep on provided cushion on the floor at the foot of the bed. 

    • Speech
      • Submissive must call Dom by proper name before each sentence
      • Submissive must not raise her voice
    Responsibilities
    • Daily Chores
      • When walking in, if no other command is given check and do the following:
          Check the kitchen
            If dishes in the sink, wash them and put them in the dishwasher If dishwater is full and clean empty If the counters are dirty, then clean them
          Check bedroom
            If bed is not made, then make it If clothes are on the floor
              If dirty, put in hamper If clean, hang up or put in dresser
          Check bathroom
            If towels are on the floor, fold and hang them up If sink and/or tub is dirty, clean it Look at the floor, if dust is collection use wet rag or swiffer to clean
          Check the furniture, floors, counters
            If dusty and/or dirty, clean them

    • Meals
      • Times for meals will be establish and followed
        • Extra time will be granted on a meal by meal basis

      • The content of the meals will be discussed/determined ahead of time
        • Preference going to the Dom

    • Entertainment/Events
      • As a couple
      • With others
  Internal Interaction rules override External rules unless otherwise specified    Dominant Privileges
  • Dominant maintains all privileges not specifically given to the submissive
  • Dominant reserves the right to add new rules with the consent of the submissive 
  Submissive Privileges
  • All activities will follow safe, sane and consensual guidelines
  • Submissive may choose whether to consent to or participate in activities prohibited by federal, state, or local law
  • Activities not agreed upon beforehand are subject to safe words and actions
    • Submissive does not require permission to speak when using safe words during any activity in which she is not comfortable. Dominant may not punish or in any way retaliate for the submissive's use of safe words at any time.
      • "Red" for stop immediately;
      • "Yellow" when the tolerable threshold is reached (Dominant may continue current actions, but must not proceed any further)

    • In situations where the submissive is unable to speak, safe actions will be used instead. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to watch for these actions.
      • A waving, open hand signifies "red."
      • A waving fist signifies "yellow."
 
[mod edit to remove coding]

< Message edited by ModeratorSixteen -- 12/3/2008 12:44:13 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:23:03 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Unless you or the person you are trying to attract has a paperwork fetish, this would pretty much suck.
 
As a list of your expectations, it's pretty fantasy based.  Shaving everyday for most females would be totally impossible, unless you want them to end up with legs like leather and hopefully you have taken into consideration that you are prepared to maintain her?  The interaction list is unworkable.  The clothing options bland and badly explained.  It give out virtually nil information on what is supposedly suitable.  The oral sex every morning?  Unworkable - doesn't take into consideration work/illness/commitments elsewhere.  I could pull apart about 80% of the list, but that wouldn't be constructive IMO.
 
It's a cool fantasy, but in practice it's expectations exceed reality.
 
the.dark.



_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Geoffozi)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:23:13 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Are you an attorney by any chance?
 
I mean this as some genuine well intentioned advice.... you cannot legislate every facet or potential twist and turn of life.  Now, you may be into micro management and that's fine, you may want more rules than most.  But if you have a bunch of these very specific rules, it only encourages your girl to become an attorney right back at you. 
 
Be prepared to testify, counselor.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Geoffozi)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:34:57 PM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline 		very... complicated
i agree with rover on that.
and dittoing what the dark said about shaving every day. some people have skin that'll deal with it but from most people that i know, shaving every day is a one way ticket to elephant skin =p (elephants are brilliant creatures but i wouldn't want to feel like one =p)

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:47:43 PM   
SageFemmexx


Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry, but this is laughable. You've obviously never lived with a woman much less had one live with you in any form of D/s relationship.

Women have an entirely different set of needs both physical, emotional and mental than men do. Nowhere in your rules do you take responsibility for birth control, medical care nor even acknowledge that this female person cycles every month.

As I often tell dominants with their lists--tell you what--you live by your own rules for a month and figure out how ridiculous they are. Oh and make sure you do that oral sex thing EVERY SINGLE MORNING before you wake up, brush your teeth or have your first cup of coffee.

Get a reality check, any empowered sub is going to tell you to shove your list where the sun don't shine.

(in reply to RainydayNE)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:48:27 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		It looks good to me, though you might want to consider reducing some of the repetitiveness--for example, having a section for "Order and style of address", rather than stating how you're to be addressed every couple of sections.

Off topic, but funny and applicable, sort of... when I was in training, I (accidentally-on-purpose) 'forgot' a couple of my rules--at which point, part of my discipline was to hand-letter, in calligraphy, 14 sets of my rules, which were then framed and posted around the house... by the time I'd written them 14 times, there was no way I'd forget them, which made posting them redundant -- though everyone knew that I probably hadn't forgotten them in the first place, and was trying to skate out of doing the ones I really didn't like... so they were posted so that I'd be reminded that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. *chuckles* 

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:50:27 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline 		I find this to be both too complicated and too vauge...

A lot of areas there seem to be just assumptions... like under conflict resolution (what constitutes a "vanilla" issue) and clothing. While others seem impractical as others have already noted.

One thing too, as is often recommended on here, when it comes down to rules, protocols, preferences, etc. These are things you really need to discuss with your sub to make sure you are both on the same page as far as hard limits, etc.

Also just to toss something in for fun... in my state (Virginia) oral and anal sex is technically against the law and I know there are other states that have similar outdated laws still on the books so "Submissive may choose whether to consent to or participate in activities prohibited by federal, state, or local law " could be a real interesting point if something like oral sex is "illegal" and you're requiring it every day :). Just a thought.

(in reply to RainydayNE)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:55:41 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I think dark was being really, really generous in saying she could pick apart only 80% of this. It's ridiculous. And this:
quote:

Submissive can think what she wants  

Did you really have to put that on paper?????

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Geoffozi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 12:59:04 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		I'm curious how many human beings it would actually require to enforce all that at all times. Even on my domliest days, I wouldn't have the energy to enforce all of the enforcable points...

All kidding aside, relationships (and life in general) are not so linear and static, so I'd say something like this would not be workable. I'll also agree much of it is fantasy fodder.

I'm thinking less focus on logistics and organization, and more on creating a healthy, happy relationship would work a bit better, but that's just my opinion. Also, I'd be willing to bet most submissive women who would be willing to go along with at least the majority of this would very much prefer to learn all this from YOU as opposed to reading it from a piece of paper...I guess what I'm saying here is that you're short-changing yourself by cutting past a good bit of the fun stuff...

Edited cause I caught myself sugar-coating the truthiness a bit too much...


< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 12/3/2008 1:04:04 PM >

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to RainydayNE)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:01:18 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		This would royally piss me off, but then it does't matter because i am not your submissive.  Micromanagement works for some subs, but definitely not for this one.    The micromanagement issue aside, the majority of this is just not feasible or realistic in the REAL world.

< Message edited by natasha66 -- 12/3/2008 1:56:05 PM >

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:01:57 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Personal Freedoms


  • Submissive can think what she wants.



.......wtf?

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:06:04 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		You might want to research on the net.   I have expectations, but it is not a list, but it is an outline, and it's very specific and realistic. 

I put it together years ago after a lot of research on the net and a lot of trial and error with having a full time slave over the years.

I think by doing this you might come up with something that gets your thoughts out a tad bit better, and it will fit day to day living little better.

Good luck to you on your searching....although you won't need it, it's pretty easy, lots of good ideas out there!  :>

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:09:16 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		just curious, but what do you consider to be "vanilla issues"...and "vanilla topics"?

(in reply to Geoffozi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:09:26 PM   
slaveforsure


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline 		Like everyone else has said, too much. I’ll second dark on the premise of it being too fantastical and not so much practical.

It appears as you’ve written the “contract of rules” you want to make room for a vanilla aspect of the relationship as well – If that’s the case no girl, no matter how submissive is going to come into that situation and be ok with all the rules set out like that.  Regardless of if you want the vanilla side or you just want the M/s the “code of conduct” is too much. If you want to be a Dominant your job is to guide and teach…So teach her how you want things done, demonstrate what your expectations are. Use positive and negative reinforcement. Encourage her. Don’t demean her by slapping a pile of papers I mean “contract” in front of her and expecting her to conform – that isn’t going to happen. As with any relationship, you should explore it together and let things fall into place. Be confident as yourself as a Dom – you don’t need to have a manual of how things will be.

(in reply to trealeon)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:11:10 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have to say I also laughed at the "submissive is allowed to think as she wishes" bit. That is rather rediculous a statement to make.

Also, the clothing.......dude, you are going to have to become alot more aware of the options available to women and show your's, what you find appropriate.

The rest......it's a bit on the extreme side but I have a friend that probably lives it even moreso. BUT, both parties focus on their M/s dynamic 24/7 also. Neither has to work. That means they can take the time to do so.

You've just got to know that finding the right person to fit your wishes is going to be allot more difficult based upon the fact that most won't want that tight of a dynamic.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Geoffozi)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:11:26 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Personal Freedoms

  • Submissive can think what she wants.

    .......wtf?

Well, on certain other planets, that's not always a given  .

_____________________________



(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:13:51 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Rules are made to be broken--always. The more rules you have the less obedience you will get.

_____________________________



(in reply to Geoffozi)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:19:38 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Tal kittin,

I know this.


quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Personal Freedoms

  • Submissive can think what she wants.

    .......wtf?

Well, on certain other planets, that's not always a given  .


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:28:52 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I think its great that you've put so much thought into this, and it looks like you've spent a lot of time organizing it all. But..like many others have said it is too convoluted and unrealistic. I don't have a problem with plans or goals so long as they are feasible.

If I were reading your post from the view of someone interested in you, it would make me wonder about the failure rate. You have so much involved yet at the same time there is a lot that isn't clear, I would end up failing. A lot. And feeling pretty wretched over that.

Maybe if you stop trying to overthink and overanalyze things it would flow better.

Argh sorry about typos. Need to file my nails off!


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to Geoffozi)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Set of rules... - 12/3/2008 1:35:41 PM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Personal Freedoms

  • Submissive can think what she wants.

    .......wtf?


Well, on certain other planets, that's not always a given  .


haha :)

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 20
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