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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:15:47 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Concentrating on the issue in this thread....

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

my point, and i do have one...is that while it is a fundamental tenant of D/s that there be a Master and a slave...Dom/sub....sometimes serving the best interest of the dynamic doesnt coincide with what either party might really want...in this case, an unfortunate ultimatum...


If he is to *be* Master, he has to begin by acting like Master.  If he wants to make a choice that's in his own best interest rather than her best interest or the best interest of the relationship, so be it.  That's his perogative.  If he wants to do what is best for the relationship at the expense of his own best interest, that is also his choice.  And finally, if he wants to serve her interests, at the expense of the relationship and his own best interest, that too is up to him.

The point is, no matter what he decides, no matter what reasoning he uses.... HE has to decide (not us).  And in doing so, no matter what his decision, he has reinforced the dynamic.  And he is, literally, Master.
 
That's really my point.  Though I was much less verbose in my initial post.  When you get brevity from me, accept it happily.  ;)

quote:


lets help the man decide what to do...shall we?


If he needs someone to reinforce the fact that he can make this decision, and by doing so he's fulfilling his obligation to a power exchange dynamic, by all means let's help him.  But if helping him means making the decision for him, or advocating what he *should* decide, then we are (in my opinion) doing him a great disservice.
 
He knows the issues.  He knows the consequences to those issues.  He expressed them very well.  He just doesn't want to decide.  Well, I'm not going to do that for him.

quote:


(wow, im soooo unruly tonite....someone needs a spanking...)


I'm sure there are ample volunteers. ;)
 
John

I'm using this thread as sounding board for careful thought.  Ending a relationship or giving an ultimatum is very serious business. How one goes about laying down an ultimatum or ending things requires equal careful thought.


DogGoneBad----
Except that you haven't provided any important details!!!  All you've put forth are some vagaries that people are picking up and running with.  Do you needspecific questions asked of you or can you detail your own circumstance a bit more thoroughly so that people can understand what you're actually talking about rather than rattling around in their head about theoreticals?  
  Davan 

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:21:57 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2
I would, but David is having dinner with me right now :)  Um...we may just be awhile.


Take your time, then send him along.  :> 
Davan
(Who figures that since verbal masturbation is the fare, she may as well order up hot men for potential future use in non-verbal forms)


What...no women???...*mutters...not very poly, now is she?*

harumph
perse


Wouldn't that make me not very bi-, perse? 
  Davan
(An admittedly straight-leaning bi-female and come on, it's David Duchovny; the man got HOT after he hit 40; can you blame a girl?!)
< who has yet to hear the X-files theme song start but is enjoying kitty purrs and the quiet murmur of the fireplace >
(And who still would like to know WTF exactly the OP is talking about)

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:25:18 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

(And who still would like to know WTF exactly the OP is talking about)


Me too! 



(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:25:52 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		Psst....hes saying that if he gives her an ultimatum that shell flake on him....instead of internalizing her actions and taking accountabilty for her actions prior....

and youre right...not very BI....and David is hot, but i did him last year, and hes kinda full of himself....and hits like a girl.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:28:15 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah, but ya gotta do him this year now.  (I showed him how to hit).  And we're NOT telling you what this is about Davan...that'd just kinda blow the whole conspiracy bit, wouldn't it?

LOL!  He's beyond hot...he's fucking smoking!

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:29:03 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		she doesnt need to know...its need to know only....we could tell her but then wed have to.....

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:35:51 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		I'm game if you are :)

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:38:34 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Thank you for playing along. *smooches the Domliest of all Dominants*



I feel betrayed... ... Oh the pain of it!!!!!   *w*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:40:28 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		oops - completely misread the post. 

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 12/3/2008 5:41:23 PM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:44:27 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Thank you for playing along. *smooches the Domliest of all Dominants*



I feel betrayed... ... Oh the pain of it!!!!!   *w*


...eyes lowered, kneeling in all her sorrow...whats a perse to do, shes at her sexual peak...KoM is all busy with his lovely girls....sniffle.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 5:52:25 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee
...eyes lowered, kneeling in all her sorrow...whats a perse to do, shes at her sexual peak...KoM is all busy with his lovely girls....sniffle.



mmmmm the sadist in me wants to keep you kneeling an sniffling as it just seem to get me more aroused  *w*

but the compassionate man that I am wants to get you off you your knees and send out on your way with a friendly smack on your backside.....

Oh the choices one must make.... both being personally satisfying in the moment... 

oh... run along little perse... you could of choosen far worse than Rover to flirt with.... I hope he teaches you to roll over and other appropriate subby tricks  *EG*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:00:21 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2
I'm game if you are :)


**Wondering if I can distract perse and simpleplan2 with thoughts of cuffing David up on the new toy I just ordered**
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:09:29 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		perse----
I got the vagaries of what he's saying but, I mean if it's a "she cheated for the 15th time"  situation versus a "she put the toilet paper on the dispenser with the paper dispensing over the roll rather than behind the roll" situation, these are details that will likely impact my answer to his OP.  I'm really not trying to bash the dude, but I've asked him several times for more info and he's not responded...hmmm, wonder if that plays out in his relationships; maybe.  I just don't know!  But, the post is being made interesting via the side conversations. 
Davan
(Who'd offer to let perse and simpleplan < and mc1234 for making so much sense!!! > have their way with David while she's got him chained up; see, I play nicely with other when treated well  :>  ) 

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 12/3/2008 6:12:26 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:16:19 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

(Who'd offer to let perse and simpleplan < and mc1234 for making so much sense!!! > have their way with David while she's got him chained up; see, I play nicely with other when treated well  :>  ) 


Yay me!    I'm game ... 

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:18:51 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		oooo...all this action....and im off to frickin work!!!!!.....figures.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:20:52 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee
...eyes lowered, kneeling in all her sorrow...whats a perse to do, shes at her sexual peak...KoM is all busy with his lovely girls....sniffle.



mmmmm the sadist in me wants to keep you kneeling an sniffling as it just seem to get me more aroused  *w*

but the compassionate man that I am wants to get you off you your knees and send out on your way with a friendly smack on your backside.....

Oh the choices one must make.... both being personally satisfying in the moment... 

oh... run along little perse... you could of choosen far worse than Rover to flirt with.... I hope he teaches you to roll over and other appropriate subby tricks  *EG*


ahem...

i would like it duly noted by all who peruses CM...that perse has the bestest taste in dominants....*all of them*

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:24:13 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
(Who'd offer to let perse and simpleplan < and mc1234 for making so much sense!!! > have their way with David while she's got him chained up; see, I play nicely with other when treated well  :>  ) 

Yay me!    I'm game ... 

perse:  oooo...all this action....and im off to frickin work!!!!!.....figures.

Okay, so we've got a couple of weeks for construction and shipment.  Someone needs to be in charge of Duchovny acquisition and since it'll be close to the Holidays by that point, I'm gonna request he arrive wearing a ribbon.  Refreshments to be provided.  :> 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:25:27 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		What color ribbon...im calling his agent now....*dials phone*

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:28:41 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hmmmmm, so many options, so little desire to cover up very much flesh...how about a deep, rich blue?
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 6:59:34 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		mmmmmmmmdelish

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 60
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