quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: eri

DES,

even then it does not matter -what- the submissive has been doing. At that point it becomes a matter of his not presenting it as an issue in the most effective manner.

I don't see the OP asking for specific answers or solutions, though. He does not even seem to be asking any questions at all. What I read was a man who has reached a list of potential solutions to his problem and now he is simply deciding which one he will use. Is our input even really necessary?

Well if he knew what he was going to do he wouldn't have posted in the beginning asking for help.

If he gave us more info then maybe we could brainstorm a possible solution he doesnt see. Brainstorming is a good thing, yes you get a lot of ideas that won't work but you frequently get one that will which you can't see because you're too close to the problem.

I didn't get the idea he wants the relationship to end. I got a feeling of frustration that is making him throw his hands up in the air. Again if he wanted to end it, he wouldn't have started the thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AStudyInScarlet

first off, ultimatums don't work. i think we all agree on that. there's no point. so let's throw that one out as an option. ending it- if you wanted to end the relationship you already would have, but instead you are agonizing over it. so you can see this isn't as black and white as the two clear cut options you have laid out for yourself. the third, and most logical, would be to talk to her! she obviously doesn't get how important the issue is to you if she glibly mentions in passing that it's still going on. you haven't held up your end of the relationship by communicating. impress upon her how serious you take this issue and lay out there how it makes you feel. saying do this or else makes you nothing but a jerk and will breed resentment. being open about your feelings is more likely to get respect and a response.

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ORIGINAL: utopicus

You really are upset... Generally, when somebody is upset, things tend to be more black or white. However, I suggest that you should not rush into making a decision that you could regret later on. It's best that you take some time off, breath in and out and let the anger go away. You could thereafter have a discussion and try to compromise. An armistice is better than a defeat, wherever the defeat is scored.
There will always be ups and downs in a relationship and it's always the pleasure of reconciliation that makes people wise.
Don't rush, take your time. Consider the pros and cons. Balance them out. What you'll lose and what you'll gain. all in good time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad

I've been debating about laying down an ultimatum or ending things.  The issue this is over is one that I can not deal with anymore.  She is aware that I have a problem over this issue.  I thought the issue was resolved on her end. Last night during a phone conversation she brought up the fact it was still going on.

If I make the decision to end things, it will be final.  There will be no second chances or turning back.  If I lay down an ultimatum it gives her one last opportunity or chance. 

I can not press forward in the relationship as long as this is still going on.  In fact, I will end up emotionally detaching from her.  She has not taken this issue as a serious matter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad

If I make the decision to end things, it will be final.  There will be no second chances or turning back.  If I lay down an ultimatum it gives her one last opportunity or chance. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Come on.  Brandon Fraser was in the Mummy movies...Return to the Center of the Earth, Bedazzled...he's just a total cutie.  David, on the other hand, is in x files