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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/4/2008 8:46:31 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

Oh hell. I still don't know what the problem is. I must be like a block of wood. If she is cheating ... dump her. If its a disagreement over some little thing, talk it out like adults. Quite whining and talk to her.

To the ladies perving over David D, well, I sure as hell look nothing like him. No wonder I'm alone.

There ... I said it.


None of us know what the problem is; the op is not communicating that despite numerous requests from folks that he do so. 
There's a special lady out there for you!  :> 
And, in the meantime, since it's near impossible to make heads or tails of what this thread is actually supposed to be about, suggesting the lady of your perving preference might provoke some additional amusing dialogue. 
  Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 12/4/2008 8:54:15 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/4/2008 8:52:00 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

mc1234----
I tried to perv your profile but was thwarted; it said one was not found; what's up? 


Ah .... I've just been having  a bad run of it lately.  Thought I'd found someone, so I took my profile down for awhile to quiet the mail while I concentrated on him.  Found out today it wasn't going to work out ... sigh ... back up again 


quote:

Ambien...aaaargh; makes me think my keyboard is melting and then I am hung over for half the day after I wake up.  Hope it does less evil things to you. 


It does - it works beautifully, though sometimes I get that melty thing going too.  Once I thought my dog was under the comforter because it was moving around so much - but he was in the other room!  I only take half now! 

quote:

Duchovny iin cuffs and on his knees...far more soothing a thought.  :>    Davan


You know, I don't have much of the Domme in me, but for him .... yeah, I could get into that.  lol



I'm so sorry that the relationship you'd been focused on isn't going to work out.  < sending much sympathy > 
Glad that you have better luck with the stuff than do I; I'd pretty much make the sign of the cross and back off hissing if someone tried to make me take it, lol! 
Eh, you know, sometimes that more Dominant side finds focus; I peg him for a subby boy.  I think he'd be much fun.  :> 
Davan


HELL TO THE NO....i leave this thread for a piddly little while and suddenly David Duchovny is a submissive??????????
Now, im going to give you all a chance to take that back...

 or else.

perse



ROFL perse----
Maybe he's a switch but I definitely conceptualize him submissively...nicely submissive.  That face, that body...yum.  Oh, and did I mention the desire to run my hand up the back of his head, through his hair, and extend his head back, deliciously exposing his throat....  Okay, back to work for me. 
Davan
(Who unrepentantly tells perse that she wants David in a sub fashion but that she may take any mental liberties in whatever direction she wishes)
<Who would still give the best input she could if only the op were to give information that would assist with that >

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 12/4/2008 8:56:07 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/4/2008 9:02:29 PM   
AStudyInScarlet


Posts: 79
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		first off, ultimatums don't work. i think we all agree on that. there's no point. so let's throw that one out as an option. ending it- if you wanted to end the relationship you already would have, but instead you are agonizing over it. so you can see this isn't as black and white as the two clear cut options you have laid out for yourself. the third, and most logical, would be to talk to her! she obviously doesn't get how important the issue is to you if she glibly mentions in passing that it's still going on. you haven't held up your end of the relationship by communicating. impress upon her how serious you take this issue and lay out there how it makes you feel. saying do this or else makes you nothing but a jerk and will breed resentment. being open about your feelings is more likely to get respect and a response.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/4/2008 9:06:51 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad
I suspect she will honor it.  I suspect she will become resentful.  I know if I end things that she will take it bad.  If it continues onward like this, I'm going to become resentful.
Okay, now you're just whining because you're into her, don't want to break up, and you're hoping she too will be sufficiently into you to consider an ultimatum a grown up way to resolve your differences.  

Give up the ego thing that has you pissed off, and just be with her without an ultimatum, until you no longer want to be with her.  Rather than ultimatum, stay or go, but trust is broken since you already thought this evasive problem was resolved, and it was not, to your surprise.   M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/4/2008 9:37:39 PM   
KneelforAnne


Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Brandon Fraser...not a dom but so fucking cute!


So sorry to disagree, sp2...but have you SEEN the mummy movies???

He's quite the "take charge" type in them...at least the first....

*purrrs*


(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/5/2008 9:42:57 PM   
utopicus


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		You really are upset... Generally, when somebody is upset, things tend to be more black or white. However, I suggest that you should not rush into making a decision that you could regret later on. It's best that you take some time off, breath in and out and let the anger go away. You could thereafter have a discussion and try to compromise. An armistice is better than a defeat, wherever the defeat is scored.
There will always be ups and downs in a relationship and it's always the pleasure of reconciliation that makes people wise.
Don't rush, take your time. Consider the pros and cons. Balance them out. What you'll lose and what you'll gain. all in good time.

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/5/2008 9:58:47 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		I am not sure that I believe that giving someone an ultimatum is ever the best choice.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 5:55:39 PM   
boytoyinatlanta


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		if You aren't sleeping with her then it's not really a relationship...i don't care it's an intense bdsm power exchange involvement..there has to be intimacy in order for it to be called true relationship outside of friendship or familial....anything less is temporary

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 6:19:15 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

if You aren't sleeping with her then it's not really a relationship...i don't care it's an intense bdsm power exchange involvement..there has to be intimacy in order for it to be called true relationship outside of friendship or familial....anything less is temporary


it is possible to have true intimacy without sexual relations.  just because you have not, doesnt mean it doesnt exist.

as for the OP....if you want to cease the relationship, it doesnt matter *what* she says or does, you will.  if you want to keep the relationship....it doesnt matter what she says or does, you will.  if you want to be the dominant, you will lay down the law, and it is then up to her as to her either accepting the rules or walking.

that said, TheEngineer gave me some words of wisdom a few weeks back:  "you cannot MAKE anyone do something they really dont want to do, no matter how the relationship is defined."  and this is true.

kitten

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 6:20:35 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

if You aren't sleeping with her then it's not really a relationship...i don't care it's an intense bdsm power exchange involvement..there has to be intimacy in order for it to be called true relationship outside of friendship or familial....anything less is temporary


BDSM can be much more intimate than sex.  I disagree with your statement.

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 6:27:27 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

In my opinion, the OP has to make a choice between issuing an ultimatum or ending the relationship.

An ultimatum is not a decisive action.  It is a lack of action.  In effect what you are doing is abrogating your responsibility in order that she can make the decision you don't want to make.

Making a choice, moving in one direction or another, is an action and is not relying on another to take responsibility for your choice.

Buck-up and make the decision.  Ultimatums are a cowards' way out.

Wickad

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 6:48:20 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

if You aren't sleeping with her then it's not really a relationship...i don't care it's an intense bdsm power exchange involvement..there has to be intimacy in order for it to be called true relationship outside of friendship or familial....anything less is temporary


How very...limited...a perspective. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 7:20:07 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixidustpet
as for the OP....if you want to cease the relationship, it doesnt matter *what* she says or does, you will.  if you want to keep the relationship....it doesnt matter what she says or does, you will. 


Sorry pixi, but if she doesn't want to stay in the relationship it's over, no matter how much he might insist otherwise. He can stamp his foot and say she's his slave, but if she won't talk to him and files an order of protection, then she isn't.

Both of them have to want it to work for it to have the chance to work out. And both of them need to communicate clearly in order for things to have the chance to work out.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 9:43:45 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Wow, 6 pages and the OP still hasn't explained wtf he's talking about. 
Ladies, perhaps time to rejoin the Duchovny (and I believe someone added in Fraser; ooh, the 2 together have possibilities...) conversation, lol! 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 9:44:44 PM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps because its none of your business what the OP is talking about ... ?




_____________________________


(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 9:56:29 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight

Perhaps because its none of your business what the OP is talking about ... ?





But for the fact that he posted it on a public thread, I'd think you a genius but, alas....
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 12/8/2008 9:57:29 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to opposingtwilight)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/8/2008 10:15:59 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Wow, 6 pages and the OP still hasn't explained wtf he's talking about. 
Ladies, perhaps time to rejoin the Duchovny (and I believe someone added in Fraser; ooh, the 2 together have possibilities...) conversation, lol! 
Davan


D
im back and ready to restart the Duchovny thing if you are willing to stipulate that he is dom and not sub....Fraser can be sub if you want...hes not that hot...everytime i see him i see him flying into that tree from the Tarzan thing.

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/9/2008 12:04:33 AM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight

Perhaps because its none of your business what the OP is talking about ... ?





But for the fact that he posted it on a public thread, I'd think you a genius but, alas....
Davan


Hmm, except that he hasn't posted the details you seem to think are so vital for your well being ... Guess maybe that means he doesn't think its any of your business, perhaps? Or maybe he doesn't care to hear your opinion after all. I know that may come as a shock, you being so self-important and all ...


_____________________________


(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/9/2008 5:50:51 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
But for the fact that he posted it on a public thread, I'd think you a genius but, alas....
Davan

I'm not going to take a position about this particular threadfight... but, Davan?  OpposingTwilight is a genius.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/9/2008 6:06:50 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Forget about the ultimatum and just DUMP HER.

Quit wasting time. You've reached the point of diminishing returns, so end it now.



_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
Profile   Post #: 120
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