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Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 1:24:27 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		A friend of mine has told me that his Mistress is forcing him out of her house as and from January 09.  She says that as She owns him , She has the right to make him homeless. Surely this is wrong. My question is does a Mistress have a minimum obligation to a servant to provide minimum welfare, ie if in contract to her, a roof over his head or does a slave's comfort even minimum comfort become obsolete once owned
kevin
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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 1:33:02 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Girl would certainly believe that the domme has an obligation towards the slave in question. Tossing them out denotes a lack of responsibility, unless of course there exists a lesson in such a treatment.
Before anyone could really comment. It is perhaps to get the reasoning for such an action from the domme. If it is winter and January being one of the coldest months. Girl would perceive it as cruelty. However, if it is south of the equator, its summer and there is little cruelty involved.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 1:35:47 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		A lot more info is needed on this...

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 1:38:17 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going with a couple of old standby's.

The first is, don't believe everything you hear.

The second is, you're only getting one side of the story, when there are at least three.  His version, her version, and the truth.


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 1:41:02 PM   
CatdeMedici


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Status: offline 		agreed Lady Pact--as My grandmother would say:
 
believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.
 

 
 

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 1:50:03 PM   
MisterMonster


Posts: 156
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline 		Y'know, as a guy whose been homeless and, who knows, could be again, I have to say, homelessness sucks no matter what month it is. Yeah, in the cold it's bullshit, but even in the summer you have to live on the streets, which is pointless, really.

If this story is true, I would question whether this is really good for the slave. I mean, unless he is accustomed to the rigors of living on the fucking streets, I would say this is inadvisable...

But of course, this could all be bull, couldn't it?

< Message edited by MisterMonster -- 12/13/2008 1:52:00 PM >

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 1:59:25 PM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		On the face of it, my initial reaction is that the Domme is putting herself into a very actionable position. If anything happens to that sub, while they should be out on the street, it could come back at them, legally.

Even pet owners (of the four legged, non-human variety) are expected to provide food, water, and shelter when conditions are bad.

Still, I agree with the other posters so far. This sounds very much like we're only getting part of the story. After all, as a one time pup and pony, I know that there are times when being "put out" serves the scene.

So, lobodomslavery, since you know this guy, are you going to take him in, to keep him from dying on the street? Or do you intend to point him to the nearest bridge and/or steam grate and cardboard box?

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:00:11 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Its not bull i was talking to him yesterday , he is very upset, his Christmas is ruined already, She told him that She could no longer cope with his illness, he suffers from depression too and had a recent relapse, he does not know what he has done to deserve this , She is getting  her solicitors to act against him. he is particularly mystified as he has been depressed for three years and She has not made an issue of it up to now. To me if it comes to pass, She is a heartless bitch, excuse my french because in answer to the question posed by another , he has never experienced the streets which is where he will end up if She goes through with her plan and he is almost certain She will drive him to another breakdown. If she know s this, i feel particularly angry, what happened to love loyalty and in sickness and in health, the notion that  we support each other no matter what, where has old fashioned loyalty gone, obviously his Mistress has missed this point completely

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:02:19 PM   
Lynnxz


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From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Its not bull i was talking to him yesterday , he is very upset, his Christmas is ruined already, She told him that She could no longer cope with his illness, he suffers from depression too and had a recent relapse, he does not know what he has done to deserve this , She is getting  her solicitors to act against him. he is particularly mystified as he has been depressed for three years and She has not made an issue of it up to now. To me if it comes to pass, She is a heartless bitch, excuse my french because in answer to the question posed by another , he has never experienced the streets which is where he will end up if She goes through with her plan and he is almost certain She will drive him to another breakdown. If she know s this, i feel particularly angry, what happened to love loyalty and in sickness and in health, the notion that  we support each other no matter what, where has old fashioned loyalty gone, obviously his Mistress has missed this point completely


Nope. still only one side of the story. LBS, we've already been over your elite woman hating passive aggressive stances. It's quite likely the guy deserved to be kicked out... perhaps the same reason the lawyers are going after him.


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:07:12 PM   
MisterMonster


Posts: 156
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline 		Oh, I know this guy did something stupid, probably.

Just voicing my opinions on kicking someone out, for any reason.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:09:27 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		See, my thing is, I would feel that -I- would have some responsibility, but I can't speak for anyone else. I have been put out on the streets with 30 days notice and nothing more than the clothes on my back (by an employer for whom I was a live-in nanny, when I wouldn't sleep with him as part of my 'job description'). It sux. Reality, though, is that there is no more responsibility there, legally, than whatever written contract there was between them. On a social level, it is perfectly acceptable to kick someone out of your home who is NOT a married companion with zero notice, and for no other reason than "I don't want hir here anymore."

Does it suck? Yes. Is it fair? Is it responsible adult behavior? Well, that would depend on the reasons -behind- throwing the person out.

D/s relationships can be anything from a marriage or near-marriage to a service relationship with -no- binding ties. Unless there is something delineating responsibilities for things like food, clothing, shelter, community property, division of household belongings, or provision of funds on termination of the relationship, I wouldn't count on -any- of those things being present until one has them... and if one isn't in a position to lose everything, then making sure suitable protections are in place -before- entering into a relationship where everything would be at stake is probably a good thing to do.

For myself, I've been secure and had nothing. Being secure feels a lot better, but if I had to, I could pick myself up by my bootstraps and start over. If I wasn't willing to do that, I would certainly not put myself in a position where I'd be completely dependent on someone else if things went belly-up.

You said that this person is depressed. Having lived for an extended period of time with someone who suffers from chronic depression, I can tell you that it really wears you down after a while. Especially if the individual in question is prone to bouts of drama to reinforce that xhe is loved and cared for... because on top of the day to day, that drama-fest every few weeks to boost that person's non-existent self-worth can really just scrape the last vestiges of patience out of the bottom of the barrel. BDSM relationships are not necessarily "in sickness and in health"... people romanticize these relationships way too much, for the breadth and depth of what is possible. Even in marriage, there are some things that make it better for a relationship to end, instead of dragging everyone involved through the mire. It sux that he is depressed, but that is -his- burden to attend to... not the least of which because nobody can 'fix' someone's depression, and it is entirely possible for soma convenient excuse to keep from dealing with one's problems.

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 12/13/2008 2:16:45 PM >

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:11:26 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		No. They do not owe their slave a place to stay. If she wants to get rid of him, it's her right to kick him out.


quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

A friend of mine has told me that his Mistress is forcing him out of her house as and from January 09.  She says that as She owns him , She has the right to make him homeless. Surely this is wrong. My question is does a Mistress have a minimum obligation to a servant to provide minimum welfare, ie if in contract to her, a roof over his head or does a slave's comfort even minimum comfort become obsolete once owned
kevin


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:11:54 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
LBS, we've already been over your elite woman hating passive aggressive stances.

This is the only thing I know for sure is a fact.


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:12:11 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		That is a bit different that what you posted in the original.  She can no longer handle living with someone with his illness.  That seems pretty point blank to Me.  It sounds more like a case of she is no longer wanting to live with this person.  It's not like he is just some innocent lost soul.  There was probably some type of ultimatum attached, such as work harder on his therapy or she couldn't deal with it anymore.

Do they happen to be married?  That would be the only time the "in sickness and in health" would really abide.  After that, each person takes their dynamic or their relationship on their own standard.  It may seem to you, as an outsider looking in, that the illness was never a problem before, but that seems highly unlikely.  Living with someone with a mental illness *does* strain the other people around the person who isn't well.  Ask any of us who have run across it. 

There is nothing wrong with anyone on either side of the kneel making the decisions that are what they feel are going to lead to a happier life.  If having a certain person in your life is creating more harm than good, I say, absolutely, remove that person from your life and find someone who is better for you.  Should wives of alcoholics stay married if the husband is making her life miserable with drinking?  How about staying in non consensual abusive relationships?  Should people stay then, too?



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:13:26 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Well to explain, he has not been made homeless YET. However his Mistress has told him that he will get a letter from her solicitors on Monday outlining that She wants him out of the house by the new year. i would not be in a position to take him in. i would have thought that would be the obligation of a faithful Mistress? still She has been very good to him up to now and until he is kicked out, i am not going to bad mouth her, i believe She just needs to come to Her senses, when She does , She will realise ejecting Her partner of 18 years from his own home is not the action of an altruistic loving and faithful Mistress, which up to now i deemed her to be
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:14:21 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Ok.. so this person has no other resources.. no family or friends that will take him in for a couple of weeks?  Honestly, that's on him... and in the end, while this seems aweful, we have no idea what's lead up to this.. you only know his side... I'd hate to think someone would put another out at this time.. BUT.. you never know what makes someone reach the end of their rope, and you can't help when that will be...

as other has said, this is one side... only...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:14:25 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery


Lol, well it isn't your place to judge their relationship now is it? I like how you refuse to believe he had any part in the breakup. You keep talking about a 'faithful' mistress, has he been a 'faithful' slave?


< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 12/13/2008 2:18:02 PM >

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:15:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't believe that she never made an issue of this in three years. I don't believe she didn't warn him she was at the end of her rope. He chose not to get help.

Beyond this, why didn't he, in all the years he worked, never set up a savings account? Why didn't he provide for himself? Because if she had lost her job, they both would have been homeless. If she had been hit by a bus, he would be in the same boat.

And trust me, if it's come down to lawyers, then yes she made an issue of this a long time ago. He chose to refuse to take responsibility for himself. I hope you don't take him in, because if you do, you'll be in the same boat with someone not working and not taking responsibility for his own life. But your choice.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:16:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		What country and state is it?  There are residency laws that might apply.

Now.. personally... that depends on a whole lot of things.  But I would like to bring one point up.  What is the submissive/slave's responsibility to self?  He placed himself dependent upon her for three years and did nothing to save a dime to protect himself should anything happen?  There is more than depression going on here.  If they had an agreement, he may have protections under certain laws or relationship stuff... but nobody can protect those who allow themselves to become vulnerable in the first place.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:19:46 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If he's got a job, he can earn enough to get a place and buy his own food, etc.

If he doesn't have a job, then he's been sponging off her.

All she's done is tell him to leave.  He's an adult - he should be able to provide for himself.  It's not like she's booting out a helpless five year old kid.

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