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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:46:20 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

... If anyone leaves in my male opinion it should be Her, after all to me She is the instigator of this problem and She unlike him has an income and could live outside comfortably, he does not


Well here, the one who signed the lease or owns the house stays, and the other goes... This is of course if there's no marriage to gum up the works...


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:46:36 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Why should his happiness be more important than hers? 

Because he's male, of course.


No, I tend to think it's more the OP's version of the world just has to put up with anything a mentally ill person should create, just based on the fact that they are mentally ill.


ETA....  Has it occurred to you that perhaps one of the reasons she has been unhappy and wants him to leave is that she really *is* a Mistress and can not fully live her life in BDSM (playing and such) exactly due to the fact that he *is* mentally ill and not competent to consent to such activities?


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 12/13/2008 2:49:46 PM >

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:48:16 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

No i met him yesterday, he was in bits. he has nobody outside me, his Mistress is his rock, he worships the ground She walks on, in his own words he idolises Her, if  this is all true, i cant see why She turned on him. i m telling him to keep his head up and bottom line to refuse to leave. If anyone leaves in my male opinion it should be Her, after all to me She is the instigator of this problem and She unlike him has an income and could live outside comfortably, he does not
kevin




She's supported this bum for years while he does not work.  I have no clue how long $18K will last him, but shouldn't he grow up and get a job?

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:48:48 PM   
RedMagic1


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Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I've never seen him post about the need to be kind to a mentally ill woman.  However, he often posts about dommes who have their shit completely together and yet abuse innocent (mentally ill) men.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:56:01 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		well the thing is Lady Pact he hasnt ruined Her life. with respect
has he kept Her awake for the past 3 years, has she been rendered sleepless. No he hasnt , i know he hasnt because he had two breakdowns and each time the hospital looked after it, whenever he needed care , he was cared for by professionals, She could get on with Her life, She could hold down her job, he did not interfere with any of that. Now the very same professionals, marriage counsellors which he suggested that they both go and see when this erupted and She has flat refused, i think by any standards thats unreasonable, to throw away 18 years of marriage, thats being difficult in my view and over what the fact that he is sick which up to now She has coped with and Her assumption that the next 18 or whatever number of years left will be miserable, how can She assume that for all She knows my mate could land a $100,000 job in six months, no one can tell the future
kevin

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:57:00 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

No i met him yesterday, he was in bits. he has nobody outside me, his Mistress is his rock, he worships the ground She walks on, in his own words he idolises Her, if  this is all true, i cant see why She turned on him. i m telling him to keep his head up and bottom line to refuse to leave. If anyone leaves in my male opinion it should be Her, after all to me She is the instigator of this problem and She unlike him has an income and could live outside comfortably, he does not
kevin



You know victims love to drag people down with them. I seen this scenerio many times. Oh whoooooo- is- me attitude. What am i going to do? Feel bad for me because i am living with a big orge. I don't buy into it.

My husband's illness ate everything we had. We were fortunate to have a condo to go live in, but it meant moving from one state to another. Right when we were going to start the drive, he went into the hospital. They didnt give him any hope in living. He survived, and I flew him down to Florida. 9 months later he was died, with his illness eating all our savings, except the life insurance that covered only his burial.  I lost most of my possessions with that move and most importantly my husband of 29 years. I took what I had, the condo, which i was paying cheap rent, and decided to survive.I also have an illness that was diagnosed in my 20's. I didn't care, because I refused to be a victim.  I made myself get up off the ground and do what I had to to survive. It is not impossible to do this.The only requirement is stop blaming others or your condition and get going.
oceanwynds

oceanwynds

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:01:37 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		look as regards bills they way it should work in my view is whoever is earning pays as long as the person isnt earning is making a genuine effort to earn. my mate is . he has been doing courses, he is training to go back to work, it s just because he is ill , he cant , hes 47 and he is no longer a spring chicken, im doing the same thing , training to go back to work, nobody is being a bum here. he is doing his best, its a shame his wife would not show a little more compassion
kevin

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:03:04 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Kevin, right or wrong, this woman has a right to do what she wants to do with her life.  You can vent, he can vent... but what good does it do?  Relationships break up no matter what one vowed.  You can blame her all you want, but you are acting as if this happened to you.  I could understand this anger in him... not you.  Even as compassionate as I can be, when my friends have been wounded and wronged, I didn't go off... I got busy helping.  Your upset isn't helping and in fact could do more harm in encouraging him to act out.  He needs a lawyer, plain and simple.  Settle down.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:05:46 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

look as regards bills they way it should work in my view is whoever is earning pays as long as the person isnt earning is making a genuine effort to earn. my mate is . he has been doing courses, he is training to go back to work, it s just because he is ill , he cant , hes 47 and he is no longer a spring chicken, im doing the same thing , training to go back to work, nobody is being a bum here. he is doing his best, its a shame his wife would not show a little more compassion
kevin



So he's been 'training to go back to work' for three years huh? Yeah... I'd have kicked him out too.


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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:06:25 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i once offered to help a mentally ill woman on these boards. i talked to her and comforted her for weeks. My domme dismissed me because of it. i rest my case. i have no qualms about helping anyone or suggesting that anyone be helped male or female even to the extent of losing a relationship. yes i did it and would do it again if the situation arose no matter what the cost, yes even if i was owned i would do it. why should even an owned slave not offer to help someone less fortunate when he knows that his Mistress is fine and that that other person is in far greater need, my answer he shouldnt , he might get dismissed but principles are principles and to me its dead wrong to ignore the unfortunate by staying faithful to someone else, that is just not charitable
kevin

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:10:45 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		Yes, somewhere along here I missed that they are indeed married.

I'll agree with Lockit here. He needs a lawyer. Ranting, rationalizing, wishful-thinking and not-so-good advise from his friends should not be on the top of his list of wants and needs at the moment.

Edited for spelling.


< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 12/13/2008 3:13:26 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:10:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I highly doubt it has anything to do with compassion.  If the guy has been sick for going on three years now, and by your own statement, she has not been happy for two, that's long enough for a person to know that they don't want to live that way anymore. 

Along with My earlier statement that part of this unhappiness might be coming from the fact that she wants to engage in BDSM, and he doesn't have the capacity to consent, there might be something else.  It is entirely possible that she just doesn't love him anymore.  So, if it's a case of he loves her, but she doesn't return that love, why do you think the person in love should automatically win out?  Would you like to be in a marriage where you didn't feel any love for your partner?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:12:06 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The world doesn't run on your rules or honor code Kevin.  There are laws... and that's about it.  He can use the law... Be charitable and he can be charitable and you two be flat mates.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:12:07 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		He worked for 14 years 12 hour shifts to pay the mortgage so that She could live in her comfortable home. he is no slacker, if anything he worked himself into an illness, he worked from 16 to 44. ok the last three years he hasnt but any man pushing late 40s with a 28 year work record thats pretty impressive by any stretch. in short , She would not be living in that home today were it not for his 14 years working. Remember they are only married 18 years , i think She owes him more than he owes Her.   He would never say this of course he is too nice a guy but She will never be able to repay the 14 years salary he gave Her so that She could live in a comfortable home. He paid the mortgage on the house, the vast majority of it anyway and this is how She thanks him, ingratitude is one word i could use to describe it
kevin

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:13:51 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i once offered to help a mentally ill woman on these boards. i talked to her and comforted her for weeks. My domme dismissed me because of it. i rest my case. i have no qualms about helping anyone or suggesting that anyone be helped male or female even to the extent of losing a relationship. yes i did it and would do it again if the situation arose no matter what the cost, yes even if i was owned i would do it. why should even an owned slave not offer to help someone less fortunate when he knows that his Mistress is fine and that that other person is in far greater need, my answer he shouldnt , he might get dismissed but principles are principles and to me its dead wrong to ignore the unfortunate by staying faithful to someone else, that is just not charitable
kevin


I could have sworn in earlier posts you specifically mentioned that you had never had any BDSM involvement, other than on line.  Suddenly now you've lost a Mistress over helping a female friend who also happens to be mentally ill?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:14:47 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i once offered to help a mentally ill woman on these boards. i talked to her and comforted her for weeks. My domme dismissed me because of it. i rest my case. i have no qualms about helping anyone or suggesting that anyone be helped male or female even to the extent of losing a relationship. yes i did it and would do it again if the situation arose no matter what the cost, yes even if i was owned i would do it. why should even an owned slave not offer to help someone less fortunate when he knows that his Mistress is fine and that that other person is in far greater need, my answer he shouldnt , he might get dismissed but principles are principles and to me its dead wrong to ignore the unfortunate by staying faithful to someone else, that is just not charitable
kevin


I could have sworn in earlier posts you specifically mentioned that you had never had any BDSM involvement, other than on line.  Suddenly now you've lost a Mistress over helping a female friend who also happens to be mentally ill?



File this in the "making it up as we go along" folder.

quote:

He worked for 14 years 12 hour shifts to pay the mortgage so that She could live in her comfortable home. he is no slacker, if anything he worked himself into an illness, he worked from 16 to 44. ok the last three years he hasnt but any man pushing late 40s with a 28 year work record thats pretty impressive by any stretch. in short , She would not be living in that home today were it not for his 14 years working. Remember they are only married 18 years , i think She owes him more than he owes Her.   He would never say this of course he is too nice a guy but She will never be able to repay the 14 years salary he gave Her so that She could live in a comfortable home. He paid the mortgage on the house, the vast majority of it anyway and this is how She thanks him, ingratitude is one word i could use to describe it
kevin



This too.

-Secretary Lynx


< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 12/13/2008 3:15:21 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:15:46 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		he did 12  hour shifts for 14 years of their marriage. he worked his butt off for her, 3 years of no employment is a drop in the ocean compared to that , it is not even on the scale, it shouldnt be relevant, She should be thanking her lucky stars She has him for a husband, without him She would not have no debt on her home now
respectfully
kevin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:16:33 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Kevin you are still here bitching about it or trying to prove his case.  Unproductive!  Go do some googling and find him a top notch lawyer who will prove all the things you have said and she will have to do what the court says.  If what you say is true... she will be the one to leave and or they both get something out of the mix of who worked when and all that.  Go do something productive.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:16:51 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		it was an online relationship that i lost but She took me back

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 3:17:26 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Uh... so you're saying that BDSM relationships require the need to be charitable? To help others regardless of the cost to yourself? Your relationship?

I would say that helping someone *THAT YOU DON'T KNOW* and taking away time from your partner (regardless of the orientation of the relationship) is a step in the *wrong* direction. I would assume that someone in a relationship with me is in it for the same reason I am... because I want to make that person the *primary* person in my life. If I'm in an established relationship with someone and then they start *ignoring* me and tell me to deal with it because they're being charitable, or helping someone that they don't know, or things similar to that... hell, *I* would dump them after a few failed attempts to make them pay attention to my needs.

Essentially you're saying that the needs of only one person should matter (my understanding, at least)...

Right... *backs away and pretends the thread doesn't exist*

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 60
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