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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:22:14 PM   
beargonewild


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Well to explain, he has not been made homeless YET. However his Mistress has told him that he will get a letter from her solicitors on Monday outlining that She wants him out of the house by the new year. i would not be in a position to take him in. i would have thought that would be the obligation of a faithful Mistress? still She has been very good to him up to now and until he is kicked out, i am not going to bad mouth her, i believe She just needs to come to Her senses, when She does , She will realise ejecting Her partner of 18 years from his own home is not the action of an altruistic loving and faithful Mistress, which up to now i deemed her to be
kevin



When you look through the BDSM veneer, you should know that long term and short term relationship fall apart for a myriad of reasons. As a person who is always on the outside and seeing in, it's almost impossible to judge whether she's at fault, if he's at fault or some combo of the two. We are all outsiders to someone else's relationship and we don't know all the facts to why the split happened, all we can do is offer some sort of support, anything else is pure speculation and conjecture.


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:22:50 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Well to explain, he has not been made homeless YET. However his Mistress has told him that he will get a letter from her solicitors on Monday outlining that She wants him out of the house by the new year. i would not be in a position to take him in. i would have thought that would be the obligation of a faithful Mistress? still She has been very good to him up to now and until he is kicked out, i am not going to bad mouth her, i believe She just needs to come to Her senses, when She does , She will realise ejecting Her partner of 18 years from his own home is not the action of an altruistic loving and faithful Mistress, which up to now i deemed her to be
kevin



Where did you get the idea that a Mistress has to be -any- of these descriptives?

You mentioned them being partners for 18 years, which means that there may be some grounds for common-law... something that I would guess she is working out through her solicitors. If it is -his- home, and he has some claim to the property, there may be legal grounds for some compensation for him leaving... but it sounds like it is HER home, and the fact that she's getting her solicitors to manage the paperwork intimates that she has legal grounds to send him on his way, that can be reinforced through the courts.


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:23:45 PM   
Aszhrae


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Status: offline 		It really is only one-sided, given that LBS is giving second hand information. To get a true perspective, need to get the domme's side of the story.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:25:53 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		yes he is married to Her, She told him that it has been building up over a couple of years and She tried to tell him but did nt want to hurt his feelings. i dont know about anyone else but thats crap reasoning, She should have been honest with him, then he might have been able to get support for Her to help and understand his illness as She clearly needed it, i hope it blows over for him but i cant see it to be honest, its looking bad
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:26:58 PM   
Lynnxz


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Status: offline 		Are you making this up as you go along?

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:29:29 PM   
lobodomslavery


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Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		well i couldn t take him in because i am not working either, i can barely support myself at the moment. She has some nerve offering him €15,000 about $18,000 and telling him to get a flat, without an income he wont buy a barn door in Dublin for that money and to my mind She know this darn well, She needs to get real and start accepting my mate for what he is faults and all
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:29:47 PM   
colouredin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

It really is only one-sided, given that LBS is giving second hand information. To get a true perspective, need to get the domme's side of the story.


And the sub that it actually involves. This whole thread is hearsay, you cant very easily comment on it. Also Lobodomslave you arent really asking a question you are simply asking us to justify your anger which really none of us can do because none of us actually know the story. My suggestion is dont get involved in other peoples business. Also Lob with 18,000 he could rent for a heck of a long time in Dublin or elsewhere in the UK while he gets off his arse and gets a job. I lived comfortably on £5,000 for a year.

< Message edited by colouredin -- 12/13/2008 2:31:20 PM >

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:30:56 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

well i couldn t take him in because i am not working either, i can barely support myself at the moment. She has some nerve offering him €15,000 about $18,000 and telling him to get a flat, without an income he wont buy a barn door in Dublin for that money and to my mind She know this darn well, She needs to get real and start accepting my mate for what he is faults and all
kevin



Wow--and you wonder why you're not in a lasting relationship.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:31:13 PM   
Lockit


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Status: offline 		Kevin... you may need to consider calming yourself.  Your defense of those with emotional and mental illness is admirable, but this man is an adult and has conducted a life with her for eighteen years.  There will be things he can do to help himself other than what he might know at the moment.  If you want to help him, get calm and get busy doing some research on how to help rather than spend a lot of time bitching about the unfairness of it all.  If he is being wronged... prove it.  But not to us... to someone who can do something about it.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:32:01 PM   
E2Sweet


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From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
...he has never experienced the streets which is where he will end up if She goes through with her plan and he is almost certain She will drive him to another breakdown.


We as adults are ultimately responsible for our past, present and future. If he doesn't want to land on the streets, he needs to find a way to step up and do what he needs to do to make sure that doesn't happen. Sure it's easier said than done, I'll give you that, but that's just the way it is.

Ceasing to put the blame on the dominant for the future of a grown man (to me) seems to be a good idea here, based on what's been posted on the matter so far. Taking responsibility for oneself and one's future is a good thing.

quote:

...what happened to love loyalty and in sickness and in health, the notion that  we support each other no matter what, where has old fashioned loyalty gone...


As I understand, those are tenants of marriage, not a D/s relationship necessarily.



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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:36:45 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

well i couldn t take him in because i am not working either, i can barely support myself at the moment. She has some nerve offering him €15,000 about $18,000 and telling him to get a flat, without an income he wont buy a barn door in Dublin for that money and to my mind She know this darn well, She needs to get real and start accepting my mate for what he is faults and all
kevin



Don't you understand that the above statement isn't the truth of the matter?  I know you think everyone should just tolerate whatever way a person is because they happen to have the convenient excuse of being mentally ill, but life doesn't work that way.  Individuals don't have to ruin their lives over someone else.  They have every right to be happy and if that includes being better off without someone, then that might be the course of action that they chose to follow.

From what you say, the woman has already spent the last two years being unhappy with the life she is living due to this friend of yours.  Why should his happiness be more important than hers? 


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:39:29 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		So, the question is:  can someone break up with someone else and tell them to leave their home?

Yup. 

Shocker, I know. It's not like it happens every day, everywhere or anything.

Oh, wait...

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 12/13/2008 2:40:28 PM >

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:40:25 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		You can do a lot with 18k lobo..... it seems your money skills are about as good as your skills with the ladies. 

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:40:31 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Even if the Mistress gave minimun help here, what would he do? How long would she need to continue helping him? What is he doing to help himself? Life is never a guarantee, he cant be boo hissing about not being helped. It takes to much of his own personal energy to do so. What he needs to do is start the steps to take care of himself. Yes, he can. IT is not easy, but many have done it before.

oceanwynds

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:41:12 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		No i met him yesterday, he was in bits. he has nobody outside me, his Mistress is his rock, he worships the ground She walks on, in his own words he idolises Her, if  this is all true, i cant see why She turned on him. i m telling him to keep his head up and bottom line to refuse to leave. If anyone leaves in my male opinion it should be Her, after all to me She is the instigator of this problem and She unlike him has an income and could live outside comfortably, he does not
kevin

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:41:41 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Why should his happiness be more important than hers? 

Because he's male, of course.


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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:43:38 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
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From: NYC now!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

No i met him yesterday...


This, in and of itself, explains so much about this thread.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:43:58 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i dont mean to sound facetious but for life
in sickness and health
till death do us part
that is the vow She took to him 18 years ago now She is going back on Her word, its sickening, He has done everything he  can . For fourteen solid years he did 12 hour shifts to support Her, without that and the income that produced She would not have Her comfortable home, some people are just so forgetful ungrateful and have such short memories. She is one unless She changes her tune which i hope She does
kevin

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:44:45 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

No i met him yesterday, he was in bits. he has nobody outside me, his Mistress is his rock, he worships the ground She walks on, in his own words he idolises Her, if  this is all true, i cant see why She turned on him. i m telling him to keep his head up and bottom line to refuse to leave. If anyone leaves in my male opinion it should be Her, after all to me She is the instigator of this problem and She unlike him has an income and could live outside comfortably, he does not
kevin



To be honest you havent painted the picture of an innocent victim here hun, firstly to get to the extent of needing a soliciter to kick him out hes refusing to leave, also he doesnt work, there is no real responsibility here, she has offered him money to get on his feet, if the relationships over its over, its not all her you arent living it if she has kept her mouth shut for years to save his feelings my guess is that she has been pretty patiant.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/13/2008 2:45:18 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

No i met him yesterday, he was in bits. he has nobody outside me, his Mistress is his rock, he worships the ground She walks on, in his own words he idolises Her, if  this is all true, i cant see why She turned on him. i m telling him to keep his head up and bottom line to refuse to leave. If anyone leaves in my male opinion it should be Her, after all to me She is the instigator of this problem and She unlike him has an income and could live outside comfortably, he does not
kevin




Lmfao, so because this slacker doesn't have a job and she does, SHE should get kicked out of the house she worked hard for, and the leech should get the house. How is he going to pay the bills then?? Or does she continue to pay him off?

No wonder she has to get the lawyers to pry his little fingers off of her stuff, he's got people like you telling him to REFUSE TO LEAVE HER HOUSE.


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